Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I have started seeing this guy I met in  my gym. We finally made out, (just oral sex, haven’t shagged yet) but the odd thing is, he didn’t kiss me. (He is kind of anal about germs, his house is super clean and neat and he shaves his whole body, you know the type).  He kind of kissed my neck a bit and nibble around my ears, but would turn his head when I tried to plant my lips on his. Since we were in the middle of the fun, I didn’t mention it. But it is bothering me big time. I have great breath, so that can’t be it. Should I be offended; should I mention it? Asking him to kiss me would make me feel masculine. I am pissed off!

Perky Pam

Dear Pam,

You are right at being pissed off. Your mouth is good enough for his cock but not his mouth? Bullshit. I wouldn’t even see him again if I were you. He has intimacy issues and has probably seen the film “Pretty Woman” a few too many times. Unless he comes up with a dentist note that says he was in too much pain to kiss you, tell him to kiss your ass goodbye.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I want to make my girlfriend cum with my mouth, but it takes ages and my neck always hurts after, I mean it’s stiff for a few days after! All that work and it only worked once. Makes me wonder if it’s even worth all the pain and effort. If you have any ideas to make this job easier, I will be extremely grateful (and so will my girl).

Robert S.

Dear Robert,

I imagine she can sense you are not enjoying it and if this is so, no wonder she can’t/won’t cum. A girl has to feel and know that you really WANT her to cum. Once she knows you really, genuinely want her to climax, you have both won half the battle. Drag her ass to the corner of a bed, so her pussy is right at the corner. Kneel down and start licking her like a cow licks a block of salt, from bottom to top, then top to bottom, never losing contact, nice and firm and in no hurry at all. Ask her “is this the right spot babe?” and if it is, keep doing the same thing over and over until she cums. It’s all the stopping and starting and switching positions that fuck up her orgasm route. Be firm, patient and persistent and having her on the corner of the bed should ease your neck strain and if you really a wimp, get a pillow for your knees while you’re at it.

Dr. Dot


Dr. Dot in Penthouse ( tsk tsk! What a floozy :)

I have been holding out on mentioning which magazine I posed for, as I wanted to see a copy before posting a blog about it. Of course, just as every interview, there are mistakes/misquotes etc. At least I can vent about it, most don’t. The photographer, Mark Mann, a Scottish man, was super cool and promised me they would be touched up just as every girl’s pictures are touched up but at the last minute, Penthouse decided they want to personally airbrush/touch up my pictures instead of Mark doing it.  I was wondering the whole time which pictures they would choose and if they would look cool or not. During one of the last shoots, Mark asked me to jump on the bed and let the true rock chick in me shine through.

I jumped a few times and he kept saying “great, higher, higher!” and suddenly SNAP CRACKLE POP, my left knee gave in and I collapsed on the bed, sweating from pain, dizzy and seeing stars! The sound of my knee snapping was so loud; everyone in the photo-production team heard it. Mark was in a panic, wondering if I was going to sue him for the injury and wondering if I had broken my leg etc. He tried to cheer me up by pointing at his lap top (which shows the pictures he just took) and said “This is THE SHOT, this is the one darling, we got it! It was worth the pain, we got the magic shot!”. The shot he was on about is the one RIGHT before I landed and snapped my knee; I was airborne (see the shot of me grabbing my crotch, flying through the air). Worst of all, we weren’t done yet. He still wanted to shoot me in the bath tub, so they carried me into the bubble bath and set me in there. I was in great pain, but being the trooper that I am; I gave a smile (and showed some skin). Mark really didn’t like the shots in which you could see tits and ass, he was like, “no, turn over, let’s not make it crude, I like pictures in which you have to use your imagination” but of course, Penthouse chose the nipple shots over the hard earned AC/DC shirt shots of me on the bed, which are my favorite ones.

* Note, had an MRI in my knee and I have torn my ACR Ligament and some cartlidge too, I was strongly advised to get surgery, and I am still in pain, but hate ‘down time’, so I will put this off as long as possible and would never even think of suing anyone over an accident!


^ One second before the accident

^ I was looking at Marks lap top to see how the shots were coming out


^ This one is very small in the magazine

One thing I don’t understand about the Penthouse layout is they took only a very small version of the above shot of me in my Dr. Dot uniform but had a full page of me in the pink underwear and white stockings. Also, the picture of me in the fishnet dress could have been touched up a bit, I mean, it is not flattering.. I look chubby- well, I am chubby LOL!  (not the one I have posted on here, the one that is on page 118 of the current issue of Penthouse magazine). I have been told by every photographer I know that every Playboy/Penthouse pictures is airbrushed to death, any dark circles under a persons eye is make better, any chubby tummies are made slimmer, any scars or shiny noses are made gorgeous, they all say “do you want me to show you untouched pictures of Pam Anderson or Elle McPhearson?”.

Then there is the problem I have with the text, there are a few things that have been added in, things I flat out did not say, but made the story more interesting for the author’s/readers sake. Tiny things, but still, I never said “Gene Simmons turned out the lights and pinned me up against the wall and he stuck his tongue down my throat”.. Sorry!, I never said anything about it being in the dark or turning out any lights, but I guess the author thouht this would make it sexier, and of course a magazine made for men wants everything sexier.

They printed my age wrong, but then again they ALL do. Anyhow, on a scale from 1-10 (ten being the happiest) I would say I am giving it a personal 7, as the pictures could have been waaay better. They chose two shots of me in the tub simply because you see tits, instead of using the cool AC/DC shirt one or the Dr. Dot costume shot. I know, I am picky and should just be grateful I am on 5 pages of a major magazine, but I always speak my mind, which doesn’t always make me a popular person, but it makes me feel free, YAY!

What else is new? My best friend in the USA, Mechel, is in LA and so far is hating every minute of it. I told her I loathe LA and can’t understand why she keeps going there, but I think she is seeing the light this time. Hope her trip gets better fast! Then she is off to my 2nd least favorite place in the USA, Las Vegas, HELLO! I hate that place! I will wisk her off to Rome and or Berlin, so she can see some new territory.

I also had the pleasure of showing a very special friend around NYC on Tuesday and Wednesday, what a blast, I am still recovering from that, but don’t really want to…

One more comment about the Penthouse spread (by the way, it’s the October issue, but is already in the shops) I was told by the interviewer that Penthouse is more mild now, no clam shots etc, “it’s just like FHM now!” so I agreed to do the shoot and interview. I finally got to Barnes and Nobel to look at an issue and I don’t think I have seen that many clams since I lived in Maine ok? CLAM FEST! Hello! Ok, it’s too late, I posed for a naughty magazine and swore in it and showed my nips, so ” I may be goin to hell in a bucket babe, but at least I’m enjoyin the ride” Grateful Dead…

PS. Most of the shots in this blog are ones you will not see in Penthouse…

^ A clip from one of the 5 pages in Penthouse

Ask Dr. Dot

“You give advice don’t you Doctor?” my last massage client asked me. “Yes”, I told him. He then showed me many Shiny bumps all over his skin between his belly button and penis. “My wife likes a clean shaven genital area, so I have been getting brazilian waxes for her, to encourage her to spend more time down there, but when the hair grows back in, I break out and it is itchy and looks nasty”. Yes, I agreed, it looks unflattering. Well, I gave the guy a sample of this lotion you can get at most beauty supply outlets, called “Tend Skin”. Apply at night and again after shaving, this will help. Let me just comment on this whole metro-sexual trend, that queer eye for the straight guy has started. Women usually like the natural look, and if you have too much hair down there, trim it with scissors, but going through all that pain and trouble to make it look nice for her/him, well, I just don’t see the point.

 First of all, men’s genital are not the prettiest things on earth, so the hair kind of camouflages it which is a good thing. Second, most women orgasm better when they are on top by rubbing their clit on the aforementioned area, between the navel and penis. If it is hairy, put some KY lube on there so she can slide better, but by shaving, well, you are bound to have SOME stubble there and this will hurt her clit like a cheese grater would. I personally like a guy to look like a GUY, hairy and all, not plucked, waxed and dyed (unless you are a porn star, why bother?)But if you insist on dragging your hairy ass down to Heidi the German bikini wax pro, then pick up some astringent for your bald jewels while you are at it.

 Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I partied all night long and need to look gorgeous tomorrow, help!”.

Puky Pam

Dear PP,

That is an easy one. After your drinking binge, go home and eat something, say a piece of pizza ( hey, if you drink all that a few carbs won’t matter anymore) or a baked potato to absorb some of the poison heading towards your poor liver. Swallow a couple aspirins and sleep as much as you can ( with window open for fresh air).Morning: For an immediate face lift and zit killer, take a couple aspirins and one alka seltzer tablet and crush them with the bottom of a glass into powder form. Add a half teaspoon of water and mix to form a paste. Quickly take paste rub it over face in circular motion, avoiding eyes. You should feel a tingly sensation that slightly burns. Leave on for 5 minutes or more, preferably lying on your back with legs straight up against the wall to kill two birds with one stone.

 You could even lie there for 10 or 20 minutes letting the blood leave your legs and head towards your face, making you feel and look rested. Wash off and take an ice cube, get it wet and smooth all over face, including under eyes. Then moisturize face with sun block and under eyes with a dab of vaseline. Take some vitamin C tablets, a cup of strong coffee. If you are a woman, use minimal eye make up, but darker lip shade than normal ( distract em from your tired eyes) and tie hair back for instant face lift.Visine to top off the routine and you should look as good as new for the day, then go home and sleep your ass off and don’t do that again ( until next week).

Dr. Dot

Dear DD,

Sometimes when my girlfriend is having a hard time, be it with work, family or even with me, I try to cheer her up and ask her what’s wrong, as I feel talking about it will help. She clams up and won’t tell me why she is mad or upset. If I keep asking her she’ll say something like “its not like I’m going to tell you” and then if I say “please don’t do this to us, just tell me babe”  she gets either mad and tells me to stop bothering her about it or she ignores me. I want to know how in the hell do you talk to someone who feels bad but wont tell you about it. Thank you so much

Sappy Sam

Dear Sam,

It’s her loss if she doesn’t take up your offer to vent. Females play this game fairly often. You ask them “Honey, what’s wrong?” and they say “Nothing Fuck Face”. Well, you could swallow your pride and keep begging her and when it finally comes out, it will usually be something like “You don’t do what I want you to do when I want you to do it, and/or I need attention!” Be a man and tell her once:  “Honey, if you’d like to chat, I am all ears”. If she doesn’t, then forget about it and let her stew in her own dark secret juices. Life is too short to get upset over thoughts someone has in their head. It’s almost trespassing if you force her to talk when she doesn’t want to. The mind is a private space. If she acts snotty to you, that’s a different story. Say to her “speak now or forever hold your peace”. You are a boyfriend/husband not her shrink. Sounds to me like she doesn’t like to speak on demand, so why waste your time? H ave a wank instead.

Dr. Dot


 Dear Dr. Dot,

Last year about this time, I started speaking with one of my exes again.He’s one of the “ones that got away” and I can’t stop my initial feelingsfor him….you know, the PERFECT GUY. Well, what happens is, we’ll starttalking for a few days for hours upon hours, then one day he’ll stopreturning my calls for months. He’ll call me a few months later and say hewants to marry me, and then drop off the face of the earth again.As you well know, there’s only so much a girl can take, but he really isthat perfect guy. My friends haven’t been much help in the advicedepartment, and I’m at the point where I’m utterly confused.What’s a girl to do? Should I call him, make a move?

 Lovely Rita

Dear Rita,

I am almost positive he has a girlfriend. I am sure he can’t forget you, but is in a relationship and is afraid leaving her for you is a mistake, so he can’t decide. Many people do that, they are afraid to change waterfalls but often take a dip to see how it feels. Calling him and chasing him is like the egg chasing the sperm “here I am, don’t forget me, don’t you want me?” sounds unnatural right? Don’t wait around, perfect or not, time is ticking and life is short. If a man can live without you, LET HIM!

Dr. Dot


Def Leppard, still hot after all these years

I know, I haven’t blogged properly in ages. If you knew how busy I was, you would be surprised that I blog at all. I just returned last night, well morning actually at 2:30am from a mini tour. Just like the good ol days. I left Saturday and drove to Catherine’s house. Catherine is my massage assistant who covers the Baltimore/DC/VA area. She is not just my employee; she has won a special spot in my heart as a dear friend. She is the most organized person I know and works her ass off, making her one of my favorite massage assistants. Anyhow, her best friend, Em (short for Emily) has also grown to be one of my pals.

These two gals have been Def leppard fans for years. In fact, that’s how they found out about me a couple of years ago. They saw me on tv, that VH-1 special I did called ‘A night with’ in which they interviewed me and they showed a bunch of Def Lepp footage as that was the first band I have ever massaged, so in a sense, they started off my career. I had met the Cars before I met Def Lepp, but didn’t get to massage the Cars. When Def Lepp came to Hampton VA, I skipped school ( I was in the 10th grade) and me and my two gal pals Elaine and Elise (huge Def Lepp fans) and went to the concert hall and met Phil Collin (guitarist of the band) in the parking lot. He asked us to bring him shopping as someone stole their clothes from the gig before. Anyhow, I massaged them and they were surprised how such a tiny chick has such strong hands. I massaged them a few more times, up in R.I and CT, but haven’t seen them since then! I have been living in Germany from 1989 to 2002 and just haven’t seen them around.

Anyhow, I drove to Cassy’s (short for Catherine) left my car there, then we went to pick up Em in Virginia, THEN we drove to West Virginia to rest up for the next day, a day of massages for Def Lepp. Em and Cassy has met the band loads of times and they are ‘cool’ fans, never bugging them or making a scene, so the whole band and management knows them already. When we arrived at the gig in Charleston, WV it was hot as HELL out, I mean like 95 degrees! We were treated like queens, Malvin (their famous tour manager) had a golf cart pick us up from the parking lot with our heavy massage table and chair and we were brought rite back stage.

Malvin is almost part of the band, he even sang a song on a b-side of one of their singles. He sang “Please release me”. He can sing his ass off! He is Welsh and has a great sense of humor. The girls and I watched the sound check; Phil looked at me like “eh? is that you?” lol.


^ Joe                                        ^ Vivian                                  ^ Sav

 < Phil and a Rick

I really love watching sound checks; it’s so special and informal. A peek into the real deal. In fact, I love them SO much, that in 1988 I went on the whole East coast leg of Frank Zappa’s tour “Broadway the Hardway” massaging for free. I told Frank to just allow me to see every sound check and show (and let me eat in catering daily) and I will massage for free. He agreed. It was heaven on earth yay! But now of course, I don’t work for food/music lol!


Backstage, we were set up not far from the dressing rooms. Vivian was new to me, I hadn’t met him before, as when I massaged them, Steve Clarke was still alive, bless his heart, see my pic of him below). He was kicking a soccer ball around before the show, only wearing shorts, which made a certain friend of mine all hot and bothered lol! He was super friendly to me and I can see why she adores him, nice abs and hot accent!


I didn’t take as many pictures as I normally do, I was so busy massaging (and stuffing my face in catering) that it slipped my mind, but I was see the lads again soon. Moving rite along, they played first and then Brian Adams took the stage. I saw him backstage, but didn’t speak to him. I massaged Malvin and then later when Brian was on stage, I massaged Phil. He has got to be the friendliest Rock star out there. I am NOT brown nosing, he just is! He signs everything for fans and poses for pictures; he is just so pleasant and is still looking great. He looks the SAME as when I last saw him! I whipped out an old picture of us and he laughed his head off when he saw it and then signed it for me. I am pissed at myself for not bringing more, as he was eager to see more old pics. My freakin’ printer is acting up, makes everything look blue, so Cassy printed this out for me real quick at her house.  

 < The first meeting  :)

^ I wore that slinky silver top, (which has a tiny Stones pin in the cleavage area) under a big old T-shirt out of the house. My dad would have NOT let me out of the house in that top. I was trying to look older, as I knew if they knew how old, er, young I was, they would dismiss the whole idea of getting a massage from me, so I told them I was 19. I know, it’s naughty to lie about one’s age, but too late now. I think it’s fucking hilarious how tough and grown up I was trying to look. I wouldn’t find it funny if Jasmine was pulling the same shit though!

After Phil’s brutal rub down, I worked on Rick Allen, the drummer. You have to have been living under a rock if you don’t know that he unfortunately lost his arm in a horrid car crash years ago. He is the deepest one in the band in my opinion. He is so cool and spiritual. He is so happily married and at peace. It is a pleasure to work on such a kind hearted soul. He gave me advice during the massage on what books to pick up and spoke many words of wisdom, the guy is fucking mad cool!

Phil was loving my strong hands and said he wouldn’t mind another massage at the next gig, as did Rick so the gals and I decided to make the long trip to Ohio for the gig in Dayton. I suggested to Phil and Rick that they should try the ‘Four handed massage’ in Ohio and they were diggin’ the idea. Since I couldn’t print out any proper pics for them all to sign, I brought a huge union jack flag and gave it to Malvin. He promised he would have the lads sign it. Sure enough, in Ohio, his beautiful daughter, who also works on the tour handed it to me and said ‘enjoy’


^ Hard to read, but they all signed it                                                                        ^ Close of of Phil’s autograph

After the massages, we were put on another golf cart as the parking lot was pretty far. The driver put Em in the passenger seat, Cassy on the back on top of the massage table and chair and then me on the front of the cart, as in, sitting on the hood. Em held me on there by holding my backpack. The drive wanted a massage while he drove, so Cassy used one hand on one shoulder and I used one hand on the other while he drove (read:dangerous). Directly after his show ended, Brian Adams was running down the ramp that went from the stage to the very back of the stage, which put him in front of our path, we almost ran him over, I swore I heard him singing “I’m gonna run from you”.


                                          ^ The dangerous golf cart

The golf cart driver told us of a karaoke dive called the “Half way home”. He warned us not to go there, but they do have karaoke 7 nights a week, so we couldn’t resist. It was really like out of a movie this place. Red necks galore in there. They had a stripper pole in the middle of the bar which the guys were taking turns spinning around while some played pool. EVERYONE smoked so our eyes were burning the second we walked in. I think I found out where Dave Chappell is hiding out by the way, as the only back person in there looked EXACTLY like him. He was hogging the stripper’s pole and occasionally belting out country tunes. I tore up James Brown’s “I feel good” , Led Zepps “Black Dog” and Bob Seger’s “Old time rock and roll”.

Most of the people in their couldn’t understand me. They said I talk to fast and kept asking me if I was from England! One young guy was pleading with me to take him home with me. He was wearing a taco bell uniform and chained smoked. I asked him “what state is West of here, I really don’t know where I am” and he said “uh, North Carolina and Vermont”. HELLO!!! Need I say more? Sadly, he was the hottest thing in there. One girl came up to me and said “I hear you do massages!” and I said yes, I do, in fact, she does too (pointing at Cassy). She said ” I do TOO!!”. I thought she was just drunk and being friendly but she was serious. I told her in order to join my team, she would have to massage me and so many hours later she and one of her guy pals came to our hotel room to show us her style. She massaged my feet, then Cassy’s back, then mine. She is wicked strong and so fucking hired! So, now, we will have a Dr. Dot assistant in bum fuck West Virginia! Even in shops there, people walk around with no shoes and no shirts. They have never heard of Green Tea in West Virginia and when I asked for mineral water, they looked at me like I asked them if they spoke Russian.

              < West Virginians who gave us directions

Even the parrot in our hotel spoke with a Southern drawl. The people are super friendly and laid back, but not the brightest. I felt like Albert fucking Einstein there. I was going mad though, couldn’t find anything green to eat (the folks in the karaoke bar told us “you can’t find anything green around here except teeth and underwear!”) so we headed to the capital of all Southern States, WALMART. You can get everything there. When we walked in, Em was head butted by a karaoke singing dear (he only sings country songs apparently)

  < Em after the attack

Anyhow, we bought tons of fruit and shit at Walmart and headed to Ohio. Cassy did ALL of the driving as Em doesn’t drive and I hate sitting for long, so I laid down in the back seat while we made each other laugh non stop for hours. I haven’t laughed so hard for ages. We pulled into Ohio late at night and missed out on any fun as they don’t serve alcohol there after midnight, hello, what the FUCK! Not that I am a raging drunk, but I wanted a glass of red wine. I would go mental there in Dayton Ohio. I haven’t been there since 1988 for a Grateful Dead show which was in Buckeye Lake. So far, I am not impressed with the place ok? One of the crew guys has a pal who got mugged that day one block from our “4 star hotel”.

The next day we went to the gig, it was in  a baseball park, just like the last gig, in fact I think the whole tour is like that. I walked backstage and was looking for Phil to see when he wanted his rub down. I walked into the dressing room and Joe was on his lap top. I was like “Hi Joe, would you like a massage today?” he said he would love one but is too busy. He is a gorgeous man, I have to admit. Could be difficult to have rated G thoughts while massaging such a hunk. I heard he can play almost any instrument and loves to karaoke. See, I’m not the ONLY one into karaoke lol..

This time, Phil wanted to try my famous ‘Bite Method’ massage.  

^ giving him a bit of a teaser for the bite method

Later on, after the show, I gave him the real Bite Method and although it sounds strange and dangerous, it feels amazing, so intense. I invented this when I was about 5 years old, as my Mom told me my hands weren’t strong enough for her liking, so I bit her back all the time, then walked on her. I still use the bite method today, not on everyone, just special clients. Then I rubbed him down for a good half hour and asked him if he is ready for the 4 handed massage. This means, while I am on the back, another massage therapist will be busy massaging his lower body. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Sting and the singer of Simply Red and Ice Tea have all enjoyed my 4 handed massage. Phil was really in heaven. He said “this is the best massage I have ever had” which means a lot to me. Then he told Rick that he simply must try it too, and then Rick got the same treatment and he said “you guys have the strongest hands in the world” which is music to my ears.

Cassy has met the band many times, but this was the first time she has massaged them and I am sure it’s not the last. They loved us!


^ Cassy and Rick                                               and with Phil (schwing!)

Yeah, it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it lol. I loved seeing the guys again and will probably go to more shows and massage them, it doesn’t even feel like work to me, it’s so fun.

 < Phil gets my Pit Bull grip

Their set list:

  • Action
  • Let’s Get Rocked
  • Women
  • Foolin’
  • Hysteria
  • Promises
  • No Matter What
  • Love Bites
  • Armageddon It
  • Rock On
  • Rocket
  • Photograph
  • Animal
  • Rock Of Ages
  • Bringin’ On The Heartbreak
  • Pour Some Sugar On Me

    We had to stay in a few more hotel rooms on the long journey home, but we had a blast. When we finally got near Cassy’s house, she brought me to see her horses. I got to ride her favorite one, she is 25 years old and was following Cassy around like a shadow, super sweet:

  •  < Her baby gets the 4 handed massage too!

  • Yes, Cassy has a diploma in Equinox Massage Therapy. Horse massage! So now you know why she is so dam strong! Everyone needs/loves a massage! 

  •  < Raising HELL in a hotel room

  • Ask Dr. Dot

    Dear Dr. Dot,

    I just recently started dating a male of the Asian Persuasion. Why didn’t anyone ever warn me that their Pubes are Poker Straight??  What do I do….how can, I look at this with a Poker Straight Face??  Ugh, please give me some advice on dealing with this hairy situation??

    Kinky Sue


    Dear Kinky Sue,

    Yes, I was shocked when I massage my first Asian client and saw them jump nude onto the massage table. I thought, hmmm, maybe she put that hair straightening crap in her pubes. But then I massaged another few and same deal. I am pretty sure they are the only race in which the hair on the head matches the hair on the naughty bits. You could make it fun and ask him to let you corn row them or maybe even perm them, but I doubt he will be amused. Leaving someone over pubic hair would be really shallow and you may burn in hell for that one. “Here lies Sue; she died in search of a kinky Afro”.

    Dr. Dot



    Dear Dr. Dot,

    I sometimes feel like my girlfriend doesn’t appreciate me at times. I do a lot for her; I buy her what ever she wants. I pay for her when we go out, and I’m a better boyfriend then the others she’s had (the others were disgusting scummy pigs). Most of the time she talks to me as if I am insignificant to her. Please help me. Thank You.



    Dear Rodney,

    Sadly, whoever loves the most in the relationship, suffers the most (usually, not always). Sounds to me like you love her more than she loves you and she has the power. Believe it or not, if you were in a relationship where the girl loved you more than you loved her and she doted on you like you now dote on her, you may get bored. You should NOT let her push you around or disrespect you.

    She could be subconsciously testing you, to see just how far she can push you. You need to show her just how far you can be pushed, which should have been done at the beginning of the relationship. You were probably too nice in the beginning like most of us are in hopes of winning someone over, but you set the stakes too high and now she is misbehaving like a bad puppy.

    Be firm the next time you feel taken advantage of and say “listen, I’m not going for that” or “I have just about reached my limit with this situation (or with your behavior)”.

    Another point I want to make, is you say her former guys were bad to her, but maybe she likes that, maybe she feels she doesn’t deserve such good treatment and resents you for treating her better than she deserves to be treated. That’s human nature for you. In the end, do not take bad treatment from anyone. You have to ask yourself, do you like being mistreated? If you do, then stay with her and let her continue, if not, you may have to tell her “change or I am out of here”.

    I hope this helps. There is a great book you can buy called “How to win the love you want” by Thomas W. McKnight & Robert H. Phillips, I highly recommend it, but hide it from her at all costs!

    Dr. Dot