Massage in Glasgow, Scotland

To book a massage with me, email me at and put "Joyce/Glasgow" in the subject line please to reach me quickly. 


My name is Joyce and I am delighted to join Dr. Dots Glasgow team of Massage Therapists. I first heard about Dr. Dot from Cheryl, who is also in the Glasgow team and am so grateful for the introduction and thrilled to be part of this inspirational and exciting team, mixing massage with music.

I have been practicing holistic therapies for over 7 years and have had the best time of my life. Helping people to relax and improve their wellbeing is so rewarding but it can also be challenging to ensure they have the best treatment suited to them. I am a full member with the FHT (Federation of Holistic Therapists). I can offer deep upper body massage and am also qualified in Indian Head Massage; Reflexology; Holistic Facial Massage, Hopi Ear Candling and Reiki I. I also studied Fashion and Photographic make-up and can do Eye Treatments too including Eyelash Tint, Eyebrow Tint and Shape.

In my spare time, I go to Millinery classes at the local college, where I get creative, designing and making hats and head pieces – this is a very relaxing and therapeutic pastime, I also enjoy working up at sweat at Body Jam classes at my gym and wherever I am I enjoy nothing more than cranking up my stereo and filling the room with music.

I look forward to meeting you, the next time you visit Glasgow.


Woman beaten up over high asparagus prices in Berlin

Next time you go to the farmer's market, you may want to take some protection with you. At least in Berlin.

Reuters is reporting that a motorist in Berlin beat a 24-year-old woman selling white asparagus because he was upset about her asking price for the springtime vegetable.

“The motorist said her prices were totally over the top,” said Dietmar Keck, police spokesman for Havelland district west of Berlin, without adding how much she was asking.

The man screamed at her that her asparagus was overpriced, and punched her in the face and threatened to unleash his attack dog at her. She fled and called police.

Prices for white asparagus fluctuate wildly during the short spring season, peaking in the early season at 10 euros per kilo. Prices now range from 1 to 5 euros per kilo.

Ask Dr. Dot Feb. 1 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…



I am only 18 and I have a few questions that I am afraid to ask anyone else. Go on and laugh if you
will but what is the sticky white shit in the bottom of my girlfriend’s panties? I investigate them
(read: scratch and sniff) when she is in the bathroom or on the phone. Smells nice, but is that her
cum? Also, I am afraid to go down on her, it looks so scary and I am afraid I may do it wrong.
Curious George

The "sticky white shit", you mean, her clitty litter? That is her juice, nothing to be alarmed about
 unless it looks like cottage cheese and scratches her snatch every chance she gets. First of all,
there is only one way to find out how to lick her correctly and that's by doing it and stopping
every once and a while and asking her "like that?". Don't do the man thing and drive around for ages
 without a map and without asking for directions, just ask her. Make your tongue nice and wide and
lick her like a cow licks a block of salt is a good way to start and keep in mind "real men eat pussy".

Q. My young, hot girlfriend makes me buy her expensive lingerie but I hardly ever see her
 in it. When we make love, she is usually naked already or wearing boring white panties.
 Do you think she is selling it? Should I confront her? Don’t want to be pushy, as she is
the boss for sure.
Big Spender


Sounds to me like you are being played. She is probably wearing it for some other lucky
fucker. Speak up and convince her to wear it for you. Ask her to allow you to choose what
she will put on for you before you screw. Tell her you want to dress her and quickly take
inventory, then you will know if she sold it, is just too fucking comfy to bother or worse,
 wearing the good stuff for the other guy.

My girlfriend keeps asking me if I find her girlfriends sexy. She says shit like “would you
do Joanne if you could?” or “Isn’t Sophia sexy?”. In fact, I do think her friends are fine,
and would bang every one of them had I the chance, but why would my girl ask me that? Is
 this a sign that she is a tad gay? Is she hinting around for a threesome? Could this be the
best girlfriend on earth that allows me to say whatever I want or is this too good to be
true? Thoughts please Doctor D.
Paranoid Pete

Watch your ass Pete, you are being lead into a (literally) booby trap. Just smile and say,
 “none of them are as gorgeous as you babe”. If she wanted a threesome, she would start one
or ask you for one, but this sounds more like her picking your brain to find out if you would
fuck around with her friends. If you admit “yeah, I would love to shag Sophia silly”, you
 will be under close inspection, even if it’s unwarranted. Take the high road and save the
fantasy talk for your buddies or there will be hell to pay.
I have two questions; hope that doesn’t make me sound needy. I am 21 and I love fucking my 25
year old boyfriend, and yes, we do use safe sex. I am really attracted to him and he is great
in bed (giant cock, very generous, lots of stamina) but what I don’t understand is why my pussy
dries out after about 15 minutes of sex. I am turned on as hell but dry. Second problem, how
 the FUCK do I avoid pussy farts?

Dried up Butter Cup

Pussy Farts are a universal problem ^


You say you use safe sex, so I am guessing it’s the condom that is causing your snatch to evaporate
 so quickly. They some how rob us of our juices, wiping the walls of your pussy dry with each
stroke. Try to use lubricated latex condoms. Avoid lambskin condoms because they don’t block
HIV and STDs. Always keep a water-based lube near the bed, as oil based ones will melt the condom.
 Pussy farts usually occur in the doggy style position,  or when the cock stuffs air up your hole
like a bicycle pump, just try to keep him in you, rather than having him come all the way out and
avoid arching your back when you do it doggy style, air sneaks in easier like that. Keep your slot
 nice and tight by Kegeling ( Pussy Pilates).

"Nice and Tight" ^ like Scarlett



I'm 33, from here, grew up in a middle class household, with one sibling.
I had to learn a lot about the way the world works.
My girlfriend grew up in Australia. She's 32, from a large, very wealthy family.
She is wonderful but going through a brutal divorce and cries all the time. She questions
my feelings for her. I hate to hear people cry about everything. I find it weak and
annoying. I'm aware that life is hard for her right now. But it's killing me! I give her
advice and then she turns it around on me and my life. When I hear this shit, I get quiet.
Then she knows that I'm upset and starts to apologize. She also
has Multiple Sclerosis I know what this does to her. I love her and I'll wait for her.
I am very loyal and know I am a good boyfriend;
I don't give up on people, hold grudges or worried about wasting time.
I've read your advice to others and was amazed by your vision and need input,
some other way to look at this dilemma.
At wits end Wally 


Some of those tears could be from missing her family and their support.
I realize some may get emotional about a divorce but she should be happy, not sad, that she
can now move on and concentrate on her new relationship and the future, not crying about the
miserable past (most divorce because of bad times, not good times). Some of the tears could
be from the fear of her disease and/or perhaps she is on the pill? The pill can make any
woman an emotional wreck. Ask her if she is on the pill as many women just can't handle the monthly
hormonal roller coaster ride the pill brings them on. It can push some into deep depression.
Write her a letter and tell her you were hoping she would be relieved and happy about
finalizing her departure from her ex, not sad and you are taking those tears as a sign she
isn't happy about your future together. Perhaps if she reads this she will finally see that her
 whining is becoming selfish and making you feel responsible.
You can't save her from her disease, but you are there for her so that should be enough to dry
those miserable tears.


I started dating this guy and things got very good, very fast. It feels legit, and I
know he is not a player type, he's doing all the right things; dinners, plans to go away,
he introduces me to everyone, etc. The intensity has calmed a little (it's been a month now)
and he is still proving his feelings with actions and less with words, but I am still hungry
for him chasing me a little. I think I am just addicted to intensity.
Do you think that once guys decide they may have a future with a girl,
they ease up after the initial courting because they are plotting their lives together – i.e.
how am I going to support us, etc..?
I am trying to just flow and not create dramas just to have the intensity.
I want to continue playing my cards right. Can you suggest anything without much game playing ?
 My instinct is to date others to protect myself, but that is an old script I
want to rid myself!

Passion Hungry Hannah

This is the sort of thing that makes men consider us high maintenance. He's doing every thing
 correctly, but you still want more. We all love passion but that initial high one gets with
 a new partner can not last forever.
You can either keep dating new people to get that rush or find another way to get it like bungee
 jumping, roller blading , learning karate OR using your imagination and screwing your partner
 in forbidden places/situations.
Of course it won't be the exact kind of rush, but it will keep things exciting. You don't need
to play any cards or games to make him chase you more, just let him date you like he does and if
he is doing everything right, like you said, you may end up with a life long partner who may not
 be shooting fireworks out of his ass, but will be there for you and as time goes on, stability
becomes more attractive than constant passion.
You can save the drama part for the bedroom, like I said, and use your imagination to keep the rush alive.


My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen at:


AND as of May 2008 in  Penthouse Forum 


Don’t lay that religious SHIT on me…. Antisemitism in NYC?

< an hour after the attack

No, I am not Jewish, not even religious, as most of you know, I chose Rock and Roll as my religion long ago. But since living back in the USA for the last 2 years, I have gotten to know some very special Jewish people, who have taught me all there is to know about the Jewish religion and so, find a place in my heart for Jewish people and religion, and sorrow for their past, I bought a gorgeous star of David necklace. It