Hertha BSC Berlin vs. Liverpool FC: Soccer in Germany

 

 

 ^ Video I made at the match  Oh hells yeah

 


My mate Julie and I bought tickets to go see Liverpool play Hertha here in Berlin at the Olympia Stadium. Last time I was there was a couple summers ago to see the Stones.  I actually saw Liverpool FC play there before, think it was August 1993. So fun to watch them play. They are amazing. AND The Beatles come from Liverpool, so naturally I am going to support them. Their color is RED, so my gal pal and I wore red. 

Tickets were only 25 euros ($35?), which is pretty fair. This was just a "friendly" match, nothing big at risk. Everyone was super relaxed (read:drunk) and having a great time.  

 

 Olympia Stadium, Berlin  (not taken day of game fyi)  

 

Our seats weren't that great, or even next to each other, but we managed to find an easy going security guard who went against the strict German rules and let us in a section that wasn't *gasp* the one on our ticket. We wanted to sit with Liverpool supporters (where the most red shirts were). As I said in my video, above, we soon found out, that just because they were wearing red and supporting Liverpool, doesn't mean they are FROM Liverpool, or even the UK. There were all East Germans, yes, I know, there is no more "East or West" officially, but mentally, it's still here. The "Ossi's hate the Wessi's" etc.. Anyways, the East Germans HATE Hertha (Berlin's Football club) so much because they are "West" that they would rather support the "Inselaffen" as they call the Brits (the Island Apes, because the UK is an island, blah blah).

 

   

Lots of players falling down and lots of "ecken" (corners?) wtf does that mean? I admit, I don't know all the football lingo and all, but it's even worse trying to figure out the football lingo in another language. I can speak and read (and write) German, but these sport terms had me confused.

 

We did the wave a few times. I love that. We all sang the football songs, and Julie told me as I walked up to have a slash (piss) the guys were singing "Get your tits out" but I didn't even notice because I thought it was just another football chant and blocked it out. ha ha. 

 

These lads sat two rows in front of us and asked us to pose for pictures like 10 times. They are from East Germany too. 

 
   

Julies perky tits are a bit hidden here… I guess I squashed them. Sorry Julie. Word: Underwire Bra.  

 

 A sporty sausage fest. 

 

Julie and I were asked by at least 50 guys to pose with them for a picture. So, why not ask them to take one of us? Julie was like "wot the FUCK Dot? Why are all these people asking us for pictures??". A couple of the German guys asked me if I was 'Dr. Dot' and one said he saw me on TV, one on Big Brother (I was in the BIg Brother container for one whole day a few years ago massaging all the peeps. You can see pics at www.puredrdot.com click on LINKS and see Big Brother banner). It was actually getting embarrassing as people were trying to watch the game and there was this massive hoopla around us, omfg. I am UNDER exaggerating. Seriously. Wish Julie would put her two cents it. She is a writer too, so perhaps she will blog too. The girls seated a few rows up from us were shooting daggers at us with there eyes. Hey, get yourself a red dress. Red is THE color apparently. 

Julie and I took a taxi to the game to save time, but decided to take the S-Bahn (over ground train) towards home. It was so fucking packed outside the Olympia Stadium anyways, that no taxi would ever get through. So we plowed along with the hordes of football fans (some hooligans too) and squeezed onto the train. I usually never take public transport here (used to years ago) because you can basically walk anywhere in Berlin (keeps legs slim), rollerblade or walk. PLUS, Germans fucking STARE. I mean they REALLY do not know the difference between an innocent glance and an outright 5 minute long stare. No one has ever taught them that it's kinda rude. lol. I remember dating a massive brick layer from London named Kevin years ago, like hmmm, 1993, here in Berlin. He was a weight lifter and built like a brick shit house (normally not my type, but he loved Elvis, so that won him brownie points). Anyways, I remember my fling with Kevin didn't last long because every time we went somewhere in public, like a pub or the underground train, Germans would stare at us (I was doing Madonna dopple-gaenger shows (impersonations) for money because I could not speak German yet and so I had a short white wavy bob (like her Blonde Ambition tour cut) and super thin eyebrows and he looked like a fucking wrestler. Anyways, they would stare and he was so aggressive (he told me he took steroids to get bigger muscles ) he would SCREAM at all the Germans who looked at us, which of course, brought more attention to us, and then more aggression from him towards them. Omfg. Nightmare. Anyways, Germans stare and I was dressed in red, as you can see, and had the cleavage on at full force (hey, we only live once, let them breath. Someday they will shrivel up and rot, so for now, they are out). 

The guys on the train heard Julie and I talking in English (we can both speak fluent German) so the lads didn't know we could understand them at all. The train was PACKED and they were  making LOUD, obnoxious comments about her skirt, her tits, my tits, my dress, etc. We just smile to each other and kept on talking. After a few stops, some seats became available and she and I sat across from one another and the hooligans sat next to us (there were loads of them). The train got a bit quiet when they sat down next to us and they kept on talking about how they would LOVE to do this and that to us. They suddenly I turned to the loudest one and in perfect German, loud enough for everyone to hear, I asked "So what was that you said awhile ago about my tits?". His jaw hit the floor. They all turned bright red (guessing they were around 20 years old). The whole train, apart from them, was laughing their asses off. Snap. 

 I wasn't offended or pissed, I mean, if you dress that way, you have to expect some flack (got it every day in High School when I was dating Joey Ramone, but instead of Red, I was wearing PINK every day (hate pink now, would never wear it again). Most of the time, I wear sporty clothes, but sometimes I like to vamp it up. SO bring it on, I have a massive sense of humor and a sharp tongue. What was that one of my friends called me the other night "Tornado Tongue." hmmmm. heh heh. 

Well, neither Julie nor I are BVG (Berliner public transportation) savvy, so we got off at the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) and were both so famished we would have eating the South end of a North bound skunk at that point. We scarfed down some amazing German bread (Germans make the BEST fucking bread I have ever had) and then headed over to Murry's Irish Pub (used to be the Emerald Isle). My mate Steve is the cook there (he is from Dublin and is engaged to a German lady). A lot of the English speaking community of Berlin hangs here at Murry's. Hey, if you feel like just speaking English, you hang out with fellow English speakers. So we do.

 
 Great BOWIE shirt, no?  Sid and Nancy in Berlin? ^

 This is "Beano" and he is from Ireland and reminds me of Sid Vicious . He sings with a punk band too. The blond girl (Anne) is his German pal. All of us English mother tongue folk all see each other about town, drink at the same places and basically all know each other. Most of us all get along. 

 Two English regulars (guy at far left if Graham)  and Steve (did his hair blond recently) and Julie. Dam I wish I could remember everyone's names. Why can't people wear name tags? heh. 

 

Steve and I ^  My neck looks like one of the Olsen twins in this pic. sigh. 

Another blog, another morning that I am STILL up at 9am. Seriously thinking of going to Thailand for Christmas and New Years. Just a random thought. I need something new; always going to the same places. Just a tad afraid of the mosquitos(sp?), American haters (will I get kid naped and decapitated live on TV? Will a hurricane wash me away? What a pussy I am turning into lately.). If you have been to Thailand, tpell me, where did you go? Where is the best place to go? Not into lady boys and shopping. Clean beaches, good hotels and mostly, where one can feel safe. Yawn, off to bed.

x

Dr. Dot 

Spain wins

Berlin is very silent tonight apart from a few car loads of Spanish fans honking their horns at their 1-0 victory over Germany. I feel bad for the Germans, they were so supportive and hopeful.

 

Most have been saying "Picking a goalie like Jens Lehmann for the tournament was the worst decision made by trainer Joachim Loew". Doesn't matter now, it's over and done. Oh well, there's always next year..

Congrats Spain, you played an incredible game! 

He loved it

Berlin is bursting with anticipation today. You can almost hear the people holding their breath whilst awaiting the big football match tomorrow. I will certainly be watching the show, but not on fan-mile, as it's too crowded and unpredictable, as in, you don't know if you're going to get smashed in the face or not.

Thursday MORNING my phone rang at 10 am. Normally I don't hear it as I turn it on silent, but because the night before was a bit wild (that was the night Germany beat Turkey and the wild Exberliner party night) and even though I ONLY drink two glasses of wine when I go out (any more and I end up blowing chunks) I still felt tired as fuck due to all the cig smoke in the air at Kaffee Burger. ANYWAYS, when I come home from a night out, I stay up even later than normal, catching up on the 300+ emails I receive whilst out.

So I had only been sleeping two hours, and they weren't even a good two hours as the construction workers seemed to be tearing down every building within a mile radius of my flat, the concierge of the Adlon hotel called and said the President of Georgia wanted another massage from me RIGHT NOW before his flight at noon. Um, sorry, can't do it.

I am not lazy by no means, but it's easier for me to do a massage at 4 am than at 10 am. 4 am is NO problem, I am still wide awake, full of energy, but 10 am for me is like 3 am for most normal people, who sleep from 10 pm to 6 am. I had to decline and the Pres will either be (1) angry and never talk to me again or (2) take that as a challenge and REALLY invite me to Georgia as he promised to finally get round two of "the best massage" he has ever had in his life. We shall see.  I think this was the first time I said "no" to a hotel here in Berlin, but after two hours of extremely interrupted sleep, the massage would have been half-assed anyways and I would rather to NO massage than a shitty massage.


 
 

Irish gals out on the piss ^  

Was out last night for a bit of karaoke at Oscar Wilde again. Can you believe the two dark haired girls at the top of this ^ picture are 17 years old (left side) and 15 years old (right side)? Well, I also didn't look 15 when I was 15, but it's funny seeing 15 year olds drink beer, as you know in Yank land you have to be 21 to even get into a bar. Berlin is so liberal. I sang 'River Deep Mountain High',  'Stay with me' < Rod Stewart, and 'D'yer Maker' < Led Zepp..  I love to sing but HATE being around drunk people who keep repeating themselves over and over again and there is one guy that is there every time I go there who SWEARS to GOD he is Smokey Robinson. Everyone believes him too- except me.

 

I'm like, fuck right off, if you were Smokey (didn't he die?) then why the fuck are you singing the same two songs every time karaoke is on? He sings "simply the best" by Tina Turner and "kiss" by Prince. Again, I love to sing, but karaoke is a freak magnet. Not sure how much more of it I will take. Ugh. Thing is, I don't like to just go out and drink as I don't drink much, so I have to have something to do, as in table soccer or karaoke, or I get bored. Hanging around in a bar just doesn't appeal to me. Watching a football match is good fun though but still, drunks irk me to no end.

 

Tough for me as I LOVE Rock and Roll but most of the guys who LOVE rock and roll are into drugs, drinking, lying around doing nothing. I love rock and roll, but work out, eat healthy as fuck and don't smoke and barely drink and I am as ambitious as Donald Trump (not as rich, just as ambitious) ha! Boo fucking hoo, I don't fit in. ha ha. Gotta run, it's gorgeous out

Germany wins over Turkey

       

 ^ "fan mile" (in background you can see the Adlon Hotel where Michael Jackson dangled the baby out the window AND where I massaged the President the other night).

 

I am sure you heard it already, but last night Germany won over Turkey in football (soccer to the yanks) 3-2. It was a close game the whole time, super exciting!!!

Martina, my preggy gal pal, is lovin' her extra cleavage ^ I found it hard to look in her eyes whilst talking to her with such lovely optical distractions right in front of me, now I know how it must feel to be a man

Martina (my pregnant girlfriend) and I went and watched it in Oscar Wilde Irish pub, which is normally a peaceful place, BUT last night hard core German football hooligans, all with shaved heads, Doc Martin boots and Nazi symbols filled the place. At first there were just ten of them and it was funny watching them scream and shout and carry on, but then 20 or so more piled in and it got scary. Martina is German and said the songs and chants they were belting out were old German Nazi songs. The other Germans in the place were also getting very very uncomfortable with this, but even the owner and bar tenders were petrified of them, so no one could do anything. It was even too crowded to leave at one point. The shit really hit the fan when the power went out. There was a massive storm in Basel which caused a disruption of video footage, which means, all over the world, people who were watching it live, had to watch a blank screen for a few minutes during the match, and that happened 4 times, which created even more anticipation and frenzies galore.

 

 
   

Every time there was a goal from either side, stools went flying, beer was tossed everywhere (Martina and I were dressed in girly dresses and little strappy sandals and got SOAKED). There is no stopping these guys. A few took off their shirts and showed they had Nazi ( swastikas  ) all over them as well as this one: 

Every country has it's nationalists, but this is the closest I have been to the chaos they bring. Sometimes it seems football and nationalism go hand and hand together, sigh. This one hooligan KEPT spilling beer down Martina's back (who is 7 months pregnant) and I asked him to back up and be careful and he just screamed at us and made obscene hand gestures. Scary guys.

 One of the Jewish waitresses was off duty and sitting with us during the whole match, she was not amused. Anyways, not sure how the Turks dealt with losing as there were NO TURK supporters what so ever in that pub, or on the streets in that area afterwards. I am sure they are pissed off, gutted, sad. However, the Germans are in the BEST mood ever, the sun is shining and Berlin is heaven on earth at the moment (if Jasmine was here it would be even better, but she is still in Italy). 

 

Lots of great concerts coming up again here in Berlin, Motorhead, Radio Head, etc.. I will never be able to decide between NYC and Berlin. I just can't. I love them both. So instead of me trying to decide, I decided not to decide. Less pressure. ha! Next month the official smoking ban will be enforced ( I will believe it when I see it) then Berlin would be even BETTER. The Oscar Wilde pub is smoke free; LOVES IT! But "Kaffe Burger " where we went after the match to help the Exberliner celebrate it's 6th anniversary, was smoky as fuck. Oh, it's predominantly men there, and even being 7 months pregnant< Martina & I were getting hit on non-stop. So, if you are a lady and looking for a man in Berlin, head to Kaffe Burger. jeeze!! 

 

 

The Arctic Monkeys and The Coral do Berlin

 When I showed up backstage with my massage table, I noticed another female massage therapist was already there. I thought "oh jeeze, there's gonna be a cat fight here" but no, it went over well. The record company got it wrong and instead of ordering a chiropractor like the manager needed, they ordered another massage therapist. The lady was called Becky and she is English, living in Berlin. She said "you know me already Dot, I applied to work for you about 6 months ago". Aaah, yes, indeed. Guess we never found the time for the imperative audition. She and I had more than enough bodies to rub down between us. The crew, management, and two bands (and some caterers) all needed massages, so I was happy she was there.

 

The Coral and the Arctic Monkeys played football (ok, for the Americans "Soccer" ) before the show. Lots of talented, English Testosterone in the air. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

 I head from several people that just a couple years ago, the Arctic Monkeys used to open up for the Coral. Times have changed indeed. I have faith, though, that the Coral will bounce back and headline like they should all over the states. Apparently they have new management and they will do a better job promoting the talented Brits. They are from just outside of Liverpool… super cute accents. Like butter.

I was working hard but I was in heaven the WHOLE time.

 

^ Didn't realize the drummer and singer were brothers when I first met them…

I'm sure girls go mental over this guy ^

The members of the Arctic Monkeys are rather quiet and a tad shy. As the night wore on, they did come out of their shells a bit more. They are Sooooooooooooooooo young. 

 

The Coral has a unique sound, very melodic, kind of a 60's sound, hard to describe. They appeared on the Conan O'Brien show not too long ago, so they are no strangers to the states. I am routing for them. 

''

Steve Skelly, the singer of the Coral brought me up on stage to watch the Arctic Monkeys set. The Monkeys watch the Coral and vice versa, they support each other and get along great.

It was kind of embarrassing for me to be on the stage as it was very light and there were no speakers to hide behind, so the crowd could all see us. I had my massage oil bottle around my waist and my massage shirt on… no way to hide all that. I was surprised how many people were on the stage during their set actually. I guess the younger the band, the more people are on stage. I mean, at the beginning of the Stones career, you can see old videos of them playing live and there were LOADS of people on the stage.. managers, techs, fans, groupies, etc. NOW, only the BAND and the techs on the side are allowed up. I am sure in a few years that will happen with them as well. I mean, a certain person who works for that band, not mentioning any names, was walking around, not really making an effort to hide much, stretching and leaning against an amp, etc. HELLO!? I find that all very amusing. 

It's like men trying to get their recognition. They are paid to work behind the scenes but secretly long for a bit of that spotlight. It's cute. It's far from the first time I've seen it and I am 1000% sure it won't be the last. 

It's rare that two bands who tour together get on so well, so it was refreshing to see and a great vibe backstage.

Some of the British (and Irish) guys that I know here in Berlin called me asking me for free tickets to this concert. I said "are  you sure you want to go? There will be thousands of young, hysterical girls screaming all night" and they said "exactly, that's why we want to go!". Couldn't get them in anyways, as it was really sold out and well, ass, gas or grass, no one rides for free. 

 

Like I said in the youtube video, Nick is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Not just one the outside silly, I mean, he is a wonderful person. It was difficult for me to behave. sigh. 

Thee guys are LOADS of fun. The music they had blasting out of their dressing room was mostly oldies, stuff like Johnny Cash, the Ronettes, the Proclaimers and lots of other stuff that I can't remember now, sadly 🙁

It all sounded GREAT though. The perfect soundtrack to the perfect evening.  

^ Ok, let me explain so you don't get the wrong idea. Steve Skelly wrote "Thanks for the "LOBE JOB" because I massaged his face and ears and paid special attention to his stressed out ear lobes, like I do. He coined that phrase right there and then. Steve could very well be a stand up comic, he is fucking hysterical. My face hurt when I went home from laughing so much. LOVE THESE LADS!

When they first met me and found out I was American, and saw on my flyer that I had massaged the Undertaker, they went mad. What is up with the Brits loving American Wrestling so much? Lol. It's so strange, they LOVE it. The wanted to know ALL about the Undertaker. cute. 

Steve LOVES the Ronettes and Aretha Franklin. I was also pleasantly surprised when I went to their myspace page for the first time and saw "Frank Zappa" listed up rather high on their list of influences. yay! 

Lee plays a fucking mean guitar. He has a very distinctive sound, one which I heard a few times when the Arctic Monkeys played, not during their wild punk riffs, but sometimes when they slowed down, I heard Lee's influence on them. I have to assume the Coral influenced them a bit, being that they are almost 10 years older than the Monkeys and that the Monkeys opened for THEM not too long ago. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.. sweet 🙂

 

John ^…. another cutie pie. Wtf? Is it raining hotties in the UK or what? 

After his massage (not this one, but the proper one on the massage table in the other room) Ian said "That was the BEST massage I've ever had Dot!". Now those are the words I love to hear.  He wasn't joking when he said he gives a great foot massage. He gave my foot a quick squeeze and I thought I'd died and went to heaven.

 

The Coral on tour:

Jul 28 2007 Lancashire Cricket Ground     Manchester
Jul 29 2007 Lancashire Cricket Ground     Manchester
Aug 18 2007 V Festival     Chelmsford
Aug 19 2007 V Festival     Staffordshire

(and some time in Sept. NYC central park) 

 

and online:

 http://www.myspace.com/thecoral

 

The Arctic Monkeys on tour:

  
07.18.07 Lisbon Coliseum Lisbon
       
07.19.07 Auditorio Del Parque De Castrelos Vigo
       
07.21.07 Festival Internacional de Benicassim Valencia / Benicassim
       
07.22.07 Les Arenes de Nimes Nimes
       
07.24.07 Paleo Festival Nyon
       
07.28.07 Old Trafford Cricket Ground / LCCC Manchester
       
07.29.07 Old Trafford Cricket Ground / LCCC Manchester
       
08.03.07 Hordern Pavilion Sydney
       
08.04.07 The Tivoli Brisbane
       
08.05.07 Splendour in the Grass Festival Byron Bay
       
08.07.07 Festival Hall West Melbourne
   
08.11.07 Summer Sonic Festival / SummerSonic Osaka
       
08.12.07 Summer Sonic Festival / SummerSonic Tokyo
       
09.01.07 Ibiza Rocks Ibiza
       
09.08.07 Virgin Festival – V Festival Toronto

09.09.07 Osheaga Music and Arts Festival Montreal
           
09.14.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX
   
09.15.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX
   
09.16.07 Austin City Limits Music Festival Austin TX 

 

and online:   http://www.myspace.com/arcticmonkeys