Rod Stewart, Barbara Schoeneberger & Simon Cowell blog ;)

As you can see from the date on the backstage pass below, I have been really busy. So busy, a month has gone and I haven't blogged properly. I've felt full, like when you eat too much, but my head is the full bit; full of blogs (full of shit?), so I am up, blogging, when I should be sleeping, to get rid of all this info rolling around my mind.  

Have you seen "Bruce Almighty" with Jim Carey? How the prayers build up and distract him? That's how it is if I don't write. It gets too loud and chaotic in my head.

Rather embarrassed to say, that I think the whole tonsil operation was a mistake. I thought, since the Doctors told me, they have to come out, meant, having them out would cure everything and I'd feel perfect. Seems now that instead of getting a sore throat, it just goes deeper (any infection) to the lungs. I have another lung infection (well, Berlin mostly heats with nasty COAL, so the air here is like a whore's heart; dirty, really cold and moist. 

I went out Thanksgiving night (will blog about THAT asap) and have been basically in bed since. I have a lot to catch up on, so..moving right along….

Peter, the tour manager of Rod Stewart is a mate of mine, even though I haven't seen him since the Jeff Beck show. He had me come to the Max Schmeling Halle in Berlin to set up and offer massages at my first ever Rod Stewart show. I can't believe I hadn't seen him live since that night. I was waaay into Rod before I even had any pubic hair. I thought he was the sexiest mother fucker on earth, and I didn't even really have a grasp yet what sexy was. Hearing him made me tingle inside; I was a fan. I mean, I've always loved Zappa and the Beatles, but Rod and Mick Jagger, were objects of my desire…tsk tsk.  Watching Rod on TV sing "do ya think I'm sexy" turned me into a horn dog, ditto with Mick singing "Start me up" on Mtv. I admit it, go ahead and laugh. 


I massaged the band and several roadies as well. One, named Bruce, was about 6 foot 8 inches tall, hung out with me and watched the show after his massage. He's been on the road with Rod for years and years. Big sweet heart.

Bruce, Rod's loyal carpenter/roadie ^ 


One of the back up singers was 7 months pregnant, but I only noticed it towards the end of the show. I gave her a foot massage for free after the show, as a tiny gift. Rod takes really good care of his crew, band and managers. I heard it's the plushest tour one can be on, as in, one day off in between every show, which is fucking great if you are touring. The catering was the fucking bomb too. These folks got it good 😉

;Rod put on a fantastic show. It was funny as hell to see so many German men dressed up like Rod in the first few rows. Extreme fans who donned his hair color/cut and the same style of clothing too. 

;Still charming and handsome after all those years..and that voice. Oooh la-la. 

I didn't get a picture with Rod, sadly. He "gets bored hanging about backstage" as his manager Lars told me, so he leaves the venue the second the show is over. I was lucky enough, though, to get a signed Football (ok, soccer ball for the yanks) from him 🙂

After the show, a friend and I went to a birthday party I was invited to from my girlfriend Betty Deluxe (not pictured). 

If you click HERE you can see Betty in action on stage recently, dressed in blue, dancing on stage with Mika.  I have no idea why I didn't snap any shots of the birthday girl…probably because she was so surrounded by her gay friends, I couldn't get a picture of her even if I tried 😉

ANYWAYS, two of my other friends were there. Barbara Schoeneberger, who is Germany's cutest, funniest and SMARTEST TV moderator and Andre' Rival, my favorite photographer.

I just went to Youtube and searched "Barbara Schoeneberger" and was pleasantly surprised when I found a video of me on her talk show at the top of the page:

This interview took place in 2000, when she had a show called "Blondes Gift" which means "Blond poison" in German. I was wearing head to toe RUBBER. Sweating my ass off. lol. Anyways,  I LOVE Barbara. She is fucking gorgeous, loves younger men, has ridiculously beautiful breasts and is smart as a fucking whip. Her show was called Blond Poison because she normally ripped her guests a second asshole. She is cheeky as, well, me. We got along perfect, so she was really nice to me; plus, why be mean when I am massaging your feet, right?

  < yum yum, two's better than one

After a couple glasses of wine, well, Barbara and I get kinda friendly. Andre' Rival took this shot of us, he was in heaven. 

Look how cute she is! She is not only a HUGE TV star, she sings too and is going on tour very soon. Click HERE   to see her web site and hear her voice.

Andre' ^ has taken LOADS of pictures of me. I posed naked for him for his book (naked celebrities under his oak tree) which was a first for me (well, apart from the body painting thingy). He is so fucking funny, I call him the Woody Allen of Photography. He has photographed so many presidents and stars, he is probably Germany's best photographer. Love him (and his wife too). She is also a photographer and was there at the party too, but she is rather shy.


Andre', Olaf Hajek (famous illustrator) and Barbara. What great night. Berlin can be so fun sometimes. I run into people I know whenever I leave the house, guess I know more people here then I do in the US. Well, I know a lot of folks there too but they are so spread out you know?

 I recently went to London to massage one of my favorite clients of all time, Simon Cowell. Let me tell you, the man does NOT count pennies. He goes ALL out and spoils everyone around him. Almost all rich people I know, are penny pinchers, tight wads, but not Simon. He is THE BIG SPENDER. He is hands down, the most generous client/star I have ever massaged. My flight, hotel, all my food, room service, etc was all paid (I never even see the bill) and there was a mercedes car with driver waiting outside for me whenever I wanted to go anywhere. Business class flight too. Simon insists on the best. He fucking RULES! 


Simon fucking RULES!  ^ 

  < My hotel

 I was put up in the Baglioni hotel in London, directly across from Hyde park. I was being nosy and asked the front desk how much my suite cost and they said "500 pounds per day Madam". Daaam. I am not snobby, could have stayed at a cheaper place, but hey, I won't say no. When I checked in the room wasn't ready yet (I got there at 10am). So I sat at the bar and worked on my lap top and the manager there asked me if I was there for the Who. eh? No, why? The Who were having a party in my hotel that night for their new dvd they just released. You won't believe this, but I missed the party. I massaged Simon from 10 pm to 12 midnight and when I got back, the party was over. LONDON bores the FUCK out of this night owl. WTF!!????

< Across from my hotel

I have to think of the Stones song 'Street Fighting Man'

"But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
cause in sleepy london town
Theres just no place for a street fighting man

 SLEEPY LONDON TOWN indeed! No wonder my mate Joe Jackson moved to Berlin from London. Not only is smoking banned (which I love) BUT, you can't go out after MIDNIGHT! There is NOTHING open. Ok, there are a few cheesy, and I mean CHEESY night clubs with crappy pop/techno music and people who are dying to be important, but they too close at 2 am. HOWEVER, I did find a and I mean A, as in, the ONLY restaurant that is open 24 hours a day called "Vingt-Quatre" on 325 Fulham road. I have been there a couple years ago when I was in town for Sting at Live 8. They serve everything and it's great quality. Expensive as fuck, but I don't mind. I gladly give out big bucks for good food anytime. Don't give a toss about designer clothes, jewelry or cars, but food and music, now they are important to me. 

< Nice folks I met at the 24 hour place

Anyways, I didn't see much of London, as I slept all day, jogged, ate, massaged Simon, then there was nothing open after. Great. But I earned WELL and got treated like a fucking queen, AGAIN, from Simon and his assistant Ali. I am extremely grateful. Love you Simon!  Anyone who talks shit about Simon, simply hasn't met him. He is a fucking gentleman; a sweet heart with a massive sense of humor.

I feel ok now, got a lot off my mind, going to the lung doctor AGAIN. I leave for NYC again in a couple weeks.."start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' today, I want to be a part of it, New York, New York" yeah baby!

Frank Zappa’s Inca Roads butchered by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"This is the only Frank Zappa song, that I allow"  Anthony Kiedis, singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers (extremely over rated band)

If you can figure out what the fuck he is saying, please let me know. Sounds like "this is the only Frank Zappa song I allow to exist" but he wouldn't dare say that, would he? 


Sigh. Jasmine leaves for NYC on Sunday, I leave for the UK shortly after. Lots to do, little time to do it. I still have to write my Rod Stewart blog and pack. 

I saw the Temptations in concert tonight. Came in at half time, missing the Four Tops 🙁

Great show but they played in the Tempodrome, which has the WORST acoustics in Berlin. Shaped like a big TeePee, all the sound echoes and sounds shallow, it's really bad. Anyhow, gotta get some shut eye, will write more asap.


Berlin, baby

Sooooooooooooo, back in Berlin. The flight, as predicted, killed my ears and throat. Whine ,whine, whine. I know. Since I have been back, I have been going to bed at 7pm and getting up at 6 am. Can't seem to stop this insanity, but I am sure once I get better and go for a late night of karaoke, this early morning crap will be cured. I sit here for hours working online, thinking to myself, what do people do this early in the morning? I feel like I have too much time on my hands and all of my friends are still sleeping.

Simon, of American Idol/X-Factor Fame has been in touch and I will hopefully be massaging him again soon. Ditto with Joe Jackson, Harry Connick Jr.  and Rod Stewart and his entourage. Finally Harry will be able to get a massage from me personally. He has been using my team for ages but has yet to meet the Doctor. He even spoke about my team on stage one night on his tour, saying how much he loves Dr. Dot's massage team. He will freak when he gets a massage from me, he ain't seen nothin' yet Wink

The guilt of not blogging has been rather strong, sorry about that. I went to my local Ear, Nose, Throat doctor yesterday here in Berlin, just to see how things were in my throat and hear a different opinion and this Berliner bases Doctor freaked out when she looked in my throat, thus spreading panic into me. She said (all in German of course) that the Americans butchered me, that there is still lots of left over tissue he (my USA based ENT Dr. ) "forgot" and that I am bound to have many more tonsil related problems as there is still left over tonsils lurking about in my throat. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, when I told her I was home 2 hours after the operation, she turned a nice shade of maroon with rage. She didn't believe me and when I convinced her she was still irate and slagging off the American health care routines. She told me in Germany you have to stay "AT LEAST" one week in the hospital after such an operation. Not so in the USA, where they ask you to leave as soon as you wake from the anesthesia. Buh Bye they say as they shove you out the door…. "don't call us, we will call you".

The pro's and con's between the USA and Germany have been taunting me for 18+ years now, I am  a Libra and have trouble making up my mind about every thing, so this is driving me batty. "Should I stay or should I go now?" runs through my head all the time. So afraid of making the wrong choice, that I make none and continue to live two lives, spreading myself thin. Naturally there are pro's to this situation, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. Hard to get bored if you keep moving "I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old" a quote from a very underrated Tom Petty..

So before I left, as you may know, I went to see Steve Vai and had fun hanging out with him. Somehow we got to talking about Farts, as  you do, and he said "Farts are like God's little joke on us". So I went online and ordered him a fart machine. I sent it express mail up to Christin, my friend and also the worlds biggest Vai fan. They are pals, Steve always makes time for her, so she is not just a fan. Anyways, they met at a local Starbucks in Boston before the show, and she gave him my fart machine.  

Steve & Christin ^  – Steve opening my Fart Machine  Laughing

Anyways, Jasmine returns tomorrow from Italy (she has been studying Italian in Bologna). I can't wait to give her mad hugs and kisses, yay!

Gotta run, things to do..ttyl