Ask Dr. Dot March 2011

Send your questions/problems to and do not worry, I always change the names around, so your secret is safe with me, 
Dr. Dot


So I finally did things the correct way, dating a man for a while before fucking or sucking him. He is 30, very attractive and hilarious-makes me laugh til it hurts. We started with oral and when I got down there I found a mini penis attached to him. What? Such a disappointment. I would feel like a cunt if I broke up with him due to his teenie weenie. It does get hard occasionally (he has diabetes and it appears that makes a difference). I will never find the right man. If they are well hung, they seem to be arrogant. When they are kind, sure enough, willy the size of a thumb. Am I shallow?

Goldie Cocks




You can help his cock out by fucking him on the floor. Throw a thick blanket (so you don't bang up your knees) on the floor, put a pillow vertically under his ass and squat on him. This will ensure you get every millimeter of his manhood up inside you. As far as him being soft due to Diabetes, you can ask him in a sexy way to try some Viagra for you. It's ok for a young, fit man to try it once in awhile (the older, heavier men with weaker hearts are the ones whoneed to be very careful taking Viagra). If you really like this guy (it sounds like you do) try and help him out a bit. After all, sex usually doesn't last more than 2 hours a day, so it's a good idea to be with someone who can also stimulate your mind for the other 22hours, not just your snatch.





 I don't really have a problem, just fishing for some tips on how to spoil my woman. We've been together for 4 months now and sex is good but it seems to be plateauing. Tell me how to blow her mind Doc. Seriously.


Son of Suzy Cream-cheese





 Try and make sure neither of you are full. Having sex on an empty stomach works best (more blood for your genitals). Get your room candle lit and have some Jimi Hendrix (or Prince) music on for her. Tell her to just lie there and let you spoil her. Massage her with some warm oil; her feet, legs, rump. Then when you get to the back, before you put any oil on her, start nibbling her back gently with your teeth. No tiny pinching bites; big, firm but not too hard, grasps, just enough to make her feel delicious enough to eat. Go up and down her back avoiding the spine and bony areas. Then massage her with the oil. Roll her over and nibble her inner thighs. Lick them from knee to crotch with big long firm tongue strokes. But make sure you take your time before diving into her pussy. Make her yearn for you. The longer you spend working on her body, the hungrier and hornier she will grow. You know what to do next.







I have been with my partner for 6 years and have a kid. I have recently found out the over the last 12 months she has often had sex with someone else. She even had a threesome with him and another guy. Is there anyway that we can work stuff out and still be a couple?


Bamboozled by Love 





You can't really trust her anymore since she hid this from you. You need to decide how important sex is to you both. If you have a very deep connection and get a long really well outside the bedroom and she treats you well, you may want to over look her sexual habits  (or join in with them). However, if you are the jealous type and the thought of your woman sucking off some other guy really gets under your skin, you may have to leave her. It will be easier for you to find another woman that it will be for her to find a man to take her seriously.

Forbidding her from fucking other men would just be a huge waste of time. She would probably promise it right to your face but still shag around behind your back, so it really boils down to this: can you live withan open relationship or not as she likes a variation of cock.








 For 1 year I've been with a Scottish bloke. We've known each other since childhood and he moved away 20 yrs ago & recently found me online. We talked; catching up on the past. He was married and has a son and I was married and also have a son.


Aftera while, we noticed that it clicked. And the first time we saw each other again….. BOOM! Since then, we were just so good together. Everything was right, humor, talking and insanely hot sex. His son likes me; my son digs him. Brilliant. We'd both gone through our shit and saw that this was a good thing happening.


For a year now, we've been back & forth to see each other. He can't leave cause he has a business there and my son goes to a fantastic school and I've a great job here.


I'm still keen but he's turned “cooler”. He doesn't call much &he used to go overboard & I'm spoilt from it, but now it's next to nothing. I don't wanna nag, cos that's not me, but at the same time I don't wanna just let it slip. He says he loves me but he's “overwhelmed”. His business had a set back and it's making him grumpy.


It's like a drug he gave me for a year & now it's cold turkey. What does a woman do, that wants her bloke to love her like before? I don't recall feeling this way before. That's why I'm frustrated &not sure how to react


Maggie Mae






Men usually put work first, so if they love their work and all is going well with work, they are happy and it is easy for them to treat theirloved ones well. If work is shit, their moods turn to shit and theyjust do not have the energy or desire to be overly nice to anyone. Just keep busy and if he gets in touch, do not mention the lack of communication, just be happy to hear from him. You two went all those years without contact and you were still ok, what's a week or two with no contact now? All relationships chill out after a while, yeah, that sucks as that "drug" is oh so fucking awesome, but it is not reality. Let him do his thing and come to you when he needs you.

Do NOT nag, whine, cry or mention it, just keep busy and you will be the "different" woman who doesn't give him shit. Join a yoga class, learn how to massage, belly dance,etc. anything to prevent him from being the center of your universe. First comes you, then your son, THEN him.  If he still doesn't come bouncing back, you will still be fit and happy because of all the new shit you've been busy learning and that will make you attractive to the next lucky fucker who comes your way.



Ask Dr. Dot April 2010

Email me your questions and I will answer them for free and I will change your name to protect your identity. Your naughty secrets are safe with me 🙂




I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. We almost broke up two weeks in because she thought we were moving to fast.
She said we were having sex to often, but I was never the one coming on to her, she always came looking for me.
We eventually just went on, having regular healthy (great for both sides) sex. She text messaged me  describing what she was going to do to me sexually, but then after shopping with her, she texted me saying “I don't want to have sex for a while”  (so we didn't fuck after all). I asked her about it because I found it unusual. She didn't have much to say other then it's “not a big deal”.

I will admit the past two times we have had sex, it hasn't been the best. She seemed a little uninterested. When I asked her about this, if she was losing interest or what, she simply said  “well, I wasn't really in the mood but I fucked you anyways to please you”.  No girl has ever openly said such a thing to me, so I found it somehow sweet and endearing.  I just need a girls point of view on this whole thing… is it really not a big deal, that I'm blowing out of proportion?
Or is there something hiding behind this whole ordeal?  Any thoughts, suggestions would be appreciated. And by the way I'm 26 and she is 25

Horny Hans





Not a good sign. If this is going on already, imagine being bound to her for the rest of your life. Imagine her saying "oh honey, you can fuck me if you have to, but I'd rather fold laundry, so hurry", as that's probably where this will end up if you stick with her, move in together or worse, marry her.
I'd keep your options open and play the field. You're too young for such restrictions. Best to have a girlfriend who wants to fuck you, rather than just tossing you a mercy fuck from time to time. Get out while you still can my friend.


A guy I have been seeing on and off for the last couple of years (we live in different countries) never, ever licks my pussy. I have a very clean tight twat and I know it smells and tastes good because other men tell me so and I often lick my fingers after masturbating.  He is considerably younger than I am so I have remained patient. I asked him flat out once "why don't you lick  my cunt?" and he replied like a smart ass "you never ask". This infuriated me and I almost ended contact with him. A while after wards I asked him, full stop on the phone, about this one way oral sex street we are on and he then came up with a new excuse, that I am older and he is afraid he won't be as good at it as any former lovers I have had. Do these excuses sound good enough to you? Am I over reacting?
I am extremely generous with giving head and I feel ripped off.

Oral Ora





He sounds like a lazy sack of shit to me. Trying and failing is still better than not trying at all. Age has nothing to do with it either. You can't let him off easy all the time just because he is younger. When does he plan on learning? When he is 50? It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Suggest teaching him how to do it exactly as you like it. The fact he said "you never ask" shows he is being a selfish prat. Hold off on those generous blow jobs and if/when he asks why you stopped, give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him "ladies first" and guide his thick head down towards your neglected cunt. If he still refuses, show him the door. There are plenty of men around, of all ages,  who love to lick pussy.





Why is it hard for a 45 year old man to cum but still maintain a rock hard penis. It's like "the feeling" or "itch" want to rise but just doesn't. I also tend to get hot (body temperature wise). My beautiful girl comments that my penis always tends to make me sweat first before I cum. Now sometimes I do cum and it usually always explodes out as if there is a blockage in the valve and the pressure just pushes it out. I'm aware I might have a control issue as I generally don't have a problem masturbating. Rarely however, do I cum during intercourse. I don't hammer away, sometimes I go slow, sometimes I wiggle about – depending on how my partner is feeling or wants.

Diamond Dick-Dave



It sounds to me like you and your cock are very dehydrated. When a person isn't drinking enough water, the body tends to get selfish and holds onto every drop of fluid it has. Avoid excess coffee and tea, which simply dry you up from the inside out. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day and go to a Urologist to have the "blockage" checked out. Blockages can occur as a result of infections (including STD's). These can be cleared up by taking antibiotics. If you have a structural blockage, you may need to undergo minor surgery. So a trip to the “Cock-Doc” and drinking more healthy fluids should cool you and your hot willy off and make ejaculation easier.





I am 24 and left my boyfriend (age 26) of four years for another guy. Then my relationship with that guy went bad and we broke up. When I first left my ex I heard many friends tell me how they had seen him constantly out drinking himself stupid in the corner of bars by himself and he looked unhappy. He used to email me telling me he missed me and still loved me, I was polite but not really interested. He stopped emailing, then friends started seeing him out with other girls and then one day he ran into me at a coffee shop and it seemed like he had been living in the gym, the guy was ripped. I added him on facebook and see a lot of girls always flirting with him on there including girls I know. I am shocked he has gone from the dotting depressed ex boyfriend to this. What's the best way to win back his heart and start dating again without looking stupid? I would also be very upset if one of the girls in my social circle try to fuck him and I fear they might. Help……

Goldie Cocks


The good news is, men can forgive. But they don't forget. If he really loved you, he may give you another chance. The other girls may be different and new to him, but sometimes a history between people can mean more than fresh meat. You can send him a real letter; not an email and tell him you are sorry and that you know for sure leaving him was a grave mistake. Mention that sometimes it takes such a stupid move to make one realize how good they had it and how grateful they should be for what they have/had, the grass always seems greener but it isn't, yadda yadda yadda. Make it short, sweet and to the point. He won't want to read a book, just one short page of how you would love to see him again. That's all you can do. Do NOT call him as you may catch him at a really bad time and that could make things worse. A letter is less threatening and gives him time to think. You may want to slip an old picture of you both into the letter to spark memories (and a few nude self portraits too of course). If he doesn't answer you, it means he's moved on and nothing can change a man's mind once he has it set. If he does start fucking around in your social circle, you just have to write it off as "the one that got away" and remember they are experiencing your left overs.


Is it true what they say that "once you go black you never go back”?

Wondering Wanda




I'm sure that rumor was created by a black man. I've seen plenty of naked black men as I am also a massage therapist by profession+ most take off their clothes.

They don't have bigger cocks than other men, it's just that the ones who do have massive dicks are in porn, hence the reputation. I've never fucked a black man (would shag Chris Rock if he wasn't married + was given the chance). Not racist at all, but I prefer light eyes on my lover (green or blue) so that narrows it down considerably for me now doesn't it?





I have been dating this girl for about 5 months, and I cannot seem to make her climax. It seems like no matter how long we go I always end up going first, and then going limp. I have never had this problem before, and am used to being told that we have to stop and not getting to jizz all over the place, then finishing the deed later by myself. I don't know what I am doing wrong with her. We try different positions and I ask her what she needs to make her get there (she is shy) and still I don't get the satisfaction of her screaming in joy from a little present that I gave to her.. Is there any way I can extend how long it takes me to cum, to be able to hold a stiff dick after I come or to loosen her up so that she climaxes' harder faster?

No-Go Jo


She needs to know how to make herself cum before she can cum with you. Ask her in a nice, calm manner, how she makes her self cum. If she says she can't, there is your answer. It's not you, it's her. If she says she can and tells you how, ask her to SHOW you how she makes herself cum. Then try to integrate that method into your fuck fest. If she doesn't know how to cum (some women just don't). Then bring her ass to the edge of the bed, kneel on some pillows and lick her clitoris as long as it takes to make her cum. Don't worry about sticking your fingers in there, just concentrate of long, firm, constant strokes with your tongue as wide as you can make it. Lick South to North and vice versa and check in with her once in a while and ask her if that's the right spot/ rhythm. Don't let up until she cums. It could take a while but if that is your goal, you have to hang in there. Make her cum first then you won't have to worry about how long it takes you. It didn't sound like she was complaining about you taking forever to cum, some girls like a long ride. Women can enjoy sex without climaxing. We don't have to climax every time to enjoy it, like most men do.


Ask Dr Dot Aug. 25 2009

 I have been writing "Ask Dr. Dot" for over 7 years now. My advice column appears in the Exberliner magazine, NY and as "Calling Dr. Dot" in Penthouse forum. Feel free to email me (  any questions you may have. I answer them free and always change the names around to protect your little secrets from everyone else. 

Dr. Dot



I'm a young "forty something" lady. I've been invited to a concert where I may get
an opportunity to meet some famous dudes. (Aerosmith)
There are going to be tons of little skinny ass chicks(yes I'm jealous), and I just
 want to look hot. Not disgusting, but ya know, it would be nice to be "kinda hot
for a forty year old." I don't have a clue what to wear. I don’t want to be in
running shoes, like eww. Help.
Any pointers?
ps. You always look good.
Mary (from the bus, last tour, you know, leather?)




Decide what your best assets are-
if they are your breasts, wear a low cut shirt in navy blue and a back pencil cut
skirt to the knees and fancy flip flops or those ballerina shoes in silver. If your
 best asset is your tiny waist, wear a sun dress that has frills where your tiny
 breast sit and again, simple but comfy shoes (high heels make women miserable after a few hours).

Go easy on the make up and hair, focus on your best feature on your face as well and
avoid red lip stick unless your skin and teeth are flawless. Use my secret weapon,
"Hypnotic Poison" and smile no matter what. When speaking, remember, quality, not
quantity works best. If you meet Steve, tell him Dr. Dot says hello. Also, keep in mind,
 I am pretty sure all of the band are taken, as in, in a relationship, so there is no
 need going through hell trying to lure one of them; just be comfortable in your own skin,
 smell nice, smile and radiate confidence which is the sexiest thing of all.
ps. If you don't want to wear a skirt, you could wear Capri’s. Make sure you use a shimmer
 body lotion that makes skin look amazing.



 I'm really puzzled by the fact that my boyfriend would rather eat me out than have sex.
 We see each other a few days a week and have had sex only once in our 3 month relationship
 everything else has been oral, him giving it to me; he never lets me give it to him. It's
like he's crazy about it, that’s all he wants to do. What's going on? Is there something going on?
Suzy Cream Cheese




If that's your only problem, consider yourself blessed. A man who only wants to lick your
pussy and wants nothing in return? Hold on tight to him. You have obviously seen his cock.
Could it be too small or soft?  Maybe he’s afraid of disappointing you.  Maybe he is afraid
of getting you pregnant (read: Catholic). Many men don't trust condoms or even the pill due
 to former bad experiences ("surprise" pregnancies). Perhaps you just taste so fucking good
 he is addicted. Don't look a gift horse, or cunnilingus master in the mouth.





I am about to propose to the love of my life. Her brother recently died in
Iraq (why do we send away our young men to this country to far away land and
get them back in boxes; all a mother has left of her son is a fucking flag!).

She cries everyday. I feel helpless.

Should I propose soon….and that will give her some happiness to
take away the pain, or should I wait till everything has settled. I would
marry her Monday if I could, but I just want to get it right for her.

Mr. Right




I would wait a couple weeks, maybe even a month until after the funeral,
and then propose to her.
You don't want your wedding anniversary to be too close to his death date.
If you do it too soon, she could think of it as just a romantic pity party.
If you wait too long, she could close her heart to love all together and
need a long time to completely open it again.




My ex is from Poland and went over there to see her…bout 5 months back anyway
we met at airport, had 4 hour journey back to her place was 7 am!! I was sooo tired
 but she said “lets do it- do you have condom?” Well I did but feeling so tired I
 just didn’t want to…i.e. I’d of been shit lol. So we didn’t and didn’t have
opportunity to do it again. Anyway, I got back home and she ended it per text
message about month later. That got me thinking. I loved her; maybe if did make
love to her on that occasion our relationship would’ve lasted longer? Looking back
 I kinda feel guilty over it. I am dumbfounded and gutted.
Mr. Pitiful




I’ve had men visit me in the past from far away and I knew for sure they would fall
 fast asleep due to the journey. So I let them be. I expect the same when I visit someone.
 There should be some sort of sexual travel leeway period; an unofficial "leave me
alone for 24 hours please" phase. I think she just used that pathetic excuse to dump you.
 If someone dumps you for that, they aren't even worth thinking about anymore.
 Be grateful you are rid of that impatient wench.




Please cough up some advice for me ASAP. I have seriously not told ANYONE what I'm about
 to tell you, but this issue is getting too big for me to ignore.
 Basically, my problem is this: I'm in a serious relationship with a sweet but somewhat
 insecure man. He is extremely concerned with making me happy in bed, and after some
 awkward attempts at the beginning of our relationship, he worked really hard to find
out what I liked and is now able to satisfy me nine times out of ten. So it's not out
of sexual frustration that I've started having fantasies about women more and more recently.
 It's something I've always done from time to time, but now for the first time I feel
like I might want to put it into practice. I really want to involve my
 boyfriend in this, at least tell him how I've been feeling, but there's a problem: His
last girlfriend left him for a woman, and he's very touchy on the subject of girl-on-girl.
 He's not against lesbians by any means, but he gets visibly uncomfortable whenever the
subject comes up, changing the topic of conversation, even changing the channel when two
women get friendly on TV. I care about him so much,
and I'm afraid my desires will chase him away. I don't know what to do. Can you help??
Potentially Bi in Harlem




I would love to know if these lesbo fantasies started before or after you found out about
 his ex dumping him for a dike. Be honest and think back. If you started lusting after
women AFTER he told you this, it's simple; you are playing with the forbidden fire.
You know it's taboo and now crave it madly. If not, and you have always wanted to taste
the bearded clam, but want to keep your man,  you should just do this on your own time,
without telling him, as it's obviously not going to work. Give the guy a break. Put yourself
 in his shoes. At all cost, try your best to hide all evidence of your lesbian adventures.
Asking him will only make him more insecure, jealous and you may end up losing him completely.





I am a proud lady who masturbates on a daily basis. My technique has become
refined in the most recent years and lately I have noticed something… When I
have a very good strong orgasm; my hearing is somewhat diminished. Similar to
when your ears start to go towards popping when going up an elevator. 5 minutes
later my hearing is back to normal. Is this because the blood is rushing from my
ears to my vagina?

Alotta Vagina






Good news is, it is fairly normal. Bad news is, I'm gonna have to get all medical
on you to explain it properly. Take a deep breath and read on.
The ear popping is due to excessive dopamine-adrenalin conversion during orgasm while
your tissue and nerve around and in your ear lack of the relaxin/elastin Prostaglandin
to withhold the orgasmic contraction due to a sequence of adrenalin surges during or after orgasm.
 Your auditory nerve is suddenly compressed by the tissue contraction and suffers from
the interruption of nutritional supply due to a sudden contraction of the arteries.
This results in nervous numbness. It can happen in your face, ears, nose, eyes, hands,
legs, pelvic area, or even your whole body. Whew.  Who needs to hear anything after they
climax? I think its mother natures way of shutting everything else out so you can just
 savor the spectacular moments during and after your orgasm.



Ask Dr. Dot July 2009

Feel free to email me your questions. I will change your name to protect your identity and your little secret will stay with me:

I was wondering if you have a solution for me. I am a
37 year old man, not well hung but know how to use what
I have well and I am very good with my hands and mouth
BUT it bothers me and the women I sleep with that I just
can't seem to get or stay hard. When I beat off, it is fine,
I get hard and I cum, it's all-good. But when it comes time
 to perform for my girls, my member seems to want to nap.
 I don't even stay hard enough to wear a condom and this
scares away most of my prey. Please help me; I am good
looking, eager and very passionate.

Mr. Boooi oinnnng



It sounds like you may have Erectile Dysfunction. You may
 not like going to a Doctor but you have to see a trained
physician, specifically, an urologist, in order to suss out
what is going down with your cock. You can always try over
 the counter sexual enhancements for men, or if the
Doctor approves it, Viagra. Viagra may make you feel sick
to your stomach and give you headaches but if the Doc gives
you the green light, it may help you in times of need. Not being
able to wear a condom is bad news; please go get your pecker
 checked out. If you are too stubborn to visit a Doctor, they you
will just have to rely on vibrators and your tongue to please your girls.






I have recently found a gay boyfriend who I have just started to have
 penetrative sex with.
 I have found that as he penetrates me I loose my erection, and no
amount of masturbation will bring it back while he is inside me.
As he doesn't like being penetrated I can’t find out if it is the same for
him, and I don't want to insist incase I loose him. Is this normal or is
there some thing wrong?
 Neither of us knows, as we are both pretty new to this.

Boy Toy Bart


Blood rushes to any area of the body that is being stimulated that is
why the penis gets hard when it is being stimulated.
If your ass is being stimulated, the blood goes there, leaving your
cock less blood and making it soft. One may wonder why this isn't
 so in porn. They are taking massive amounts of Viagra in porn to
keep everything hard and full of blood. Everything always seem better
 in the movies, innit?


My wife could care less if we fuck or not.  She has encouraged me to fuck
 other girls but insists that I tell her before or ASAP after it happens.
 I’ve encouraged her to go out and do the same but made her promise she
 WOULDN'T tell me about it. (I doubt she would shag around)

The other day I told her we needed to pick up some condoms before I went
 out with my friends.  She hit the fucking roof, "So you’re telling me you’re
going out to fuck another woman?!" After some awkward conversation and joking,
we laughed and just left it at that.

Later, whilst shopping, we walked by the “family planning” section and she motioned
 to the condoms but I just ignored it and we kept walking. Seems like I am in
 checkmate. Help.

Bobby Brown





When you say, "encouraged" I wonder exactly in what way. Many people say,
 "feel free to fuck around, just give my genitals a break" but they usually don't
mean it. You were just trying to be honest when you mentioned that you needed
to get some condoms but that is being a bit too honest. Do your thing but keep
it out of her sight at all times; as she doesn't want to know for the same reason
you don't want to know. It's just too much information. What one doesn't know
 won't annoy the fuck out of them. If you slip up someday and she catches wind
of any infidelity, you can naturally fall back on the "well, you DID mention I should
fuck around" but try your best to keep it out of sight and mind to protect her
feelings and your balls from being cut off with a kitchen knife.




Wow this is embarrassing but here goes. I'm a 38-year-old English bloke here in
Berlin and have been single for five years now. Am well and truly over my last
 relationship – we lived together for three years and she broke my heart – but
now the past is a completely different country; I don't live there anymore.
I have no baggage.

The past few years I've only had the odd one night stand here and there, but to
be perfectly honest I'm not that kind of guy. I've never really enjoyed that sort
of thing anyway and besides I always feel closer, more intimate with someone
that I truly care for. And hopefully vice-versa.

But here's the deal. Right now I just can't seem to get a date for love nor money.
And it's starting to drive me nuts! Is it just the Dead Girls of Berlin Syndrome?

"Maybe it's the water, mama
 Maybe it's the tea
 Maybe it's the way they was raised
 Maybe it's the stuff what they read in the papers
 Keeps them lookin' sorta half in a daze
 Well the dead girls of Berlin
 Why do they act that way?"

I've always found that when I'm not in Germany it's much easier to meet women.
Am I just being too shy? Need more confidence? Could it be the language barrier?

It's not the sort of thing I can discuss with the "guys". So I thought, what the hell
and just ask the Doc. I just want to meet someone, have a happy fulfilling and
best-case scenario, loving relationship.

British Bob





 The bigger the city the more aggressive you have to pursue women simply
 because city folks learn to tune things out in order to keep their sanity. You
have to stand out and take chances. If you chat up 50 women, surely you will
 get at least 5 great dates. So take risks, we only live once, a "nein, danke" or
 "fuck off" won't kill you. Join a yoga class, it will keep you fit and you will be
surrounded by flexible women. You will be out numbered, ditto with a cooking
class or dance class. As far as language being a problem, it should work for you,
 not against you as you are a foreigner, aka "exotic" and any German you learn
will surely be spoken with a cute accent, which should drive the girls mad. No
time to waste, summer is here and the egg surely doesn't go chase the sperm
 not does it?


My guy and I have been together 7 years and I have never let him cum in my mouth
 let alone swallow the stuff. It really makes me wanna gag. To be honest I don't even
 know what his tastes like but before he even thinks about cumming in my mouth I
start making some really funny faces which he says is a huge turn off. I let him cum
in my mouth once, but I just wanted to barf all over him and I opened the car door and
 spit it all out before I could even taste it. I think this phobia might stem from the first
 time a guy came in my mouth. It was a complete surprise and it was the funkiest tasting
 spunk. I like to describe it as seawater but chunkier. I know it would turn my boyfriend
on so much if I would just let him. Do you have any advice on how I can get over this
 little sperm phobia of mine? If I can just get to the point of letting him finish off in my
mouth without making scary faces at him or gag sounds, that would be great. I do want
 to satisfy him but at the same time I was wondering how common is it for a guy to cum
in a girls mouth? Is this something that all girls do for their boyfriends? I think he has
just been watching one too many pornos.


 Swallowing a man's tide shows that you accept him, every drop of him. His sperm is his
 personal liquid gold, their most valuable juice and if you won't swallow it, it's kind of like
 saying "you aren't good enough to swallow" and hence, they get pissed off/disappointed.
If his spunk smells or taste funny to you, it is nature's way of telling you "don't breed with
this fucker" If you are in love, you should want to swallow his spunk (unless it's super
chunk-clam-chowder style, then anyone would understand the resistance. But if you just
can't seem to bring yourself to do so, then tell the guy up front "I will suck you ' till the cows
come home, but I don't swallow. If you have a problem with that, then we will just skip the
whole blow job part of our relationship". This should solve that problem immediately, as most
 men would choose a non-swallow blow-job over no blow-job at all.

BUT if you really want to give it a try, suck his cock, as you do, best to keep tip in your mouth and
firmly rub his cock up and down in rhythm with your mouth and use other hand to cup his
balls gently. When you sense he is ready to shoot his load, try to aim it towards the side of
your mouth then quickly store it in your cheeks like a hamster does all those seeds.

Then, without missing a beat, swallow it bit by bit so you don't choke on it (this is if he is
really paying attention to see if you really swallow it or not), otherwise, if he is all wrapped
up in his orgasm with eyes rolled back in head, in heaven, you can quickly, swiftly and
quietly pour the spunk into your hand then wipe it on the sheets, rug, dog, his pants, what
ever is around. He will never know.


Ask Dr. Dot February 2009

Please feel free to send me your questions. I will answer them and change your name so know one will know your dirty little secrets.


Dr. Dot




I'm getting divorced after 22 years of 'bliss'. My wife and I are like oil
and water. I haven't changed since she met me.  I’ve the same
interests; the most important one is a need for a loving sexual bond with my mate.
 I'm very physical. She’s never been, though at first she put on a good act.  She
 prefers intercourse more than anything else, and loathes oral.  Very rarely in our
years together has oral sex been something that she wanted; to give or receive either!
 All my other girlfriends before her, including my first wife who could cum at the
drop of a hat orally and otherwise, loved the way I licked their pussies.  My nickname
 is "Spock" because my ears had been pulled in ecstasy so many times. I recognize
that there is a technique that most men really can’t master. This is what I’ve been
 told by dozens of women over the years.

From the many articles I've read on the subject, it seems that often times, women who are
self-conscious about the way their box smells are typically the ones that hesitate to have
 their lovers go down on them for fear of grossing them out. I guess since taste is about
 75% smell, they also figure that their pussy tastes bad as well. I LOVE the way pussy
smells, tastes, looks, feels and even sounds!

That old joke 'once you get past the smell, you've got it licked' never made sense to me.
I totally love inhaling the scent of a woman! As I said, it adds to the sensuality.  I don't
think it has a damn thing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, the inside of a woman's pussy is
typically cleaner than the average mouth, when it comes to bacteria.

Bottom line question: in your experience, how common is it for women to loathe their
partner practicing cunnilingus on them, and why?

Bobby Brown (“watch me now, I'm goin' down.”)


Licking pussy is like a lap dance for your taste buds? Lovely. But if your partner
doesn't like it, you can't force her to spread 'em. Most women do enjoy it, the first few
months, but may grow a bit bored of the same old thing; even if it's heavenly genital
licking. I am well aware of the fact men couldn't
imagine getting bored of head, but women can. If sex becomes routine, women tend to get a
"headache" or a mysterious second period that month. I hope you aren't divorcing her just
because of her lack of sexual appetite, as that same thing can happen with other,
women as well. If your mind is set on divorce, try to avoid getting married again and/or
living together with a woman if you thrive upon a sizzling sex life. I don't give a FUCK
how hot you/they are, seeing someone ALL the time, sex will get boring and even spectacular
oral becomes routine. Marriage and living together are so overrated and old fashioned. Sure,
 it's good for raising kids and trimming your taxes, but even that can be done successfully
 while living separately. It all depends what your priorities are; family, sex, free time,
 money, etc. It’s hard to have it all and as cliché as it sounds, absence still makes the
 heart (and genitals) grow fonder. Last but not least, some women simply don't enjoy having
their twat licked out. Some prefer to give and feel guilty getting pleasure and some ladies
are too nurturing and kind to tell their partner "I've got a spot that gets me hot, and you
 ain't been to it!"




I am only 19 but I am sexually active even though I am a tad shy. I have noticed that
 the few men I have slept with all want to “69”. I go with the flow, but to be honest
 I don’t like it. Why are men so hooked on this? I find it embarrassing to have someone
be face to face with my ass hole. What if they think it’s ugly? What are they THINKING
 when they are that close?
Firm & Fruity Fiona



Why are they hooked on it? Exactly the same reason you hate it. They love the close up
 view of your twat and chocolate star fish in their face.  Don’t worry about them criticizing
 your crack, as I am sure they look upon it adoringly. I hate it for a different reason:
it’s unpractical. How can one enjoy receiving great oral when they have to concentrate on
giving great oral? What a stupid fucking concept. I am positive the 69 position was invented
 by some horny, unpractical, caveman. Another downside; there is always that chance your man
was in a hurry the last time he wiped his ass. Sniff.



I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage.. During the entire 25 years,
I (we) never used a condom. I now find myself 'suddenly single', and the women I've
encountered insist on a condom. I completely understand the necessity of their use.
However, I just can't seem to move past the awkwardness and loss of sensation with their
use. In fact, I hate them!  Any suggestions?
Withering Willy



No one likes them, not even us girls. Have the lucky lady suck on you while you unwrap
the condom. Say "do us a favor darling and keep me in your mouth while I wrestle with
this thing", make it fun and they will. Hopefully she will give you good head while you
get it ready, then quickly slip it on and slip in her as fast as you can.
It would be best to give her good oral, no, GREAT oral before the condom is even mentioned,
to make sure she got her fun before you possibly loose the nerve. If you go soft while
wearing the condom, try to make her cum with your mouth or hands and then wank off
onto her breasts or face…It may take time to train him to get used to the ol' wet
suit again I'm afraid. Find a girl to be monogamous with and perhaps you can ride bareback again.



My son is 21 and he is dating a 38 year old woman. She looks great for her age; very
youthful and she is fun, and I understand why my son loves her, but I can’t help but
wish she would just disappear and let me boy enjoy his youth. Should I just ignore this
potentially hazardous relationship or try to wake him out of this puppy love?
Mrs. Robinson



When a person is 21, they can and will do whatever the fuck they want. You can buy him a
copy of the film Harold and Maude and hope he get’s your point, but as long as they are
both happy why make waves? The more you mention it to him, the more you will drive him
towards her. He has many years to experiment and fool around; she should be the worried
one, not you nor your young ripe son. Rather than trying to fight the Cougar trend, try
to love him unconditionally like a parent should. What will be, will be.

Ask Dr. Dot May 14, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

I am dating a guy, since 3 weeks now and he keeps talking about his ex.
He has shown me many pictures of her, some nude ones as well, and she is
 fucking gorgeous and it makes me feel inadequate. Now that I think back,
 most of the men I have dated have pulled this shit. I am always polite and give compliments,but inside I
want to (a) rip up the cunts picture (b) knee the guy in the balls for showing it to me.
 How can I  stop such ignorant behavior without coming across as insecure or bitchy?
Sick of it all Sally

It’s ridiculously easy to get pictures of giant cocks online. Craigslist is
 famous for having people post nude pic’s of themselves. Find a picture of
the biggest cock you can find, hell, most guys who have monster cocks are
happy to send them to any curious female  (or male for that matter). Print it out (or save it on your computer) and
 when a guy shows you pictures of his hot ex girlfriend, show him the monster cock and say
“well, this is the only picture I saved of Dan” (< insert any name). That will shut him the fuck up.

I totally love my wife, but the sex is FAILING…she'll let me do whatever I want,
most whenever I want, but she does nothing in return.  NOTHING.  It's miserable.
Like spankin' the monkey.  We're both working hard and have a busy family. 
What should I do?  Is there no way out? Does this mean it’s time for an affair?
Fucking the Boring Golden Cage

^ Help her live out her fantasies 

On one hand, you have it better than most guys; at least she lets you "do
whatever you want, when ever you want", which is more than most married men get.
 But it is no fun having a passive partner. Mix things up a bit, hire a baby
sitter and bring her to a hotel, bring her lingerie shopping and fuck in the
 dressing room.  Ask her what would turn her on? It's a popular, but sad dilemma.
 The old challenge was to get the girl, now it’s keep her hot and horny. Massage,
 wine, hotels, porn, vacations, you really have to work at it to keep your busy
wife in the mood to be your sexy bitch under the sheets.

My name is Michelle and I am 12 years old.  I am not really sure what I am.  I
love men, but I think more about women sex, and all that shit.  I guess I wish
I had a boyfriend at school, but when I come home, (and at school sometimes) I
am all about women, and masturbating.  I was wondering if you could help me
with two things (by the way my parents don't know and I would like to keep it
that way)
1. What am I?  Lesbian, Bisexual, Bi-curious, Straight?
2. How can I make myself cum without my parents finding out?
I masturbate when I am in bed, on the toilet and in the shower.
Please help me figure this out, I feel I am a grown up woman in a little girl’s
body, I am ready to explore and want to be ready for when IT first happens.
Please don’t patronize me because of my age; I am very mature in every way.

Part of being 12 years old is discovering who and what you are, which
could change several times in your lifetime.
There is no need to label yourself, just do what you like and what feels
natural. Most young girls feel more comfortable experimenting with other
young girls as their bodies are so similar and it feels safe and comfortable.
It could be you end up a lesbian or it could be that you get bored of girls
and yearn for boys sooner or later, only time will tell and you have lots of it
so stop stressing about your genitals and concentrate on school or you won't
have a home to masturbate in once you leave school.
Ps. If your parents haven’t noticed that you are masturbating in the shower,
toilet and in bed, I sincerely doubt the will notice you having an orgasm.
Perhaps part of the reason you are giving yourself so much attention, is
because you are yearning for some unconditional love from them. Speak up;
 tell them you need a hug.

  I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now. It’s actually no longer
dating but a serious relationship. We have talked a lot about our relationship
and he told me that he can see a future with me, which I am very happy about
because he is an amazing guy and I really like him. So here is the
problem, we went drinking the other night and he told
me that he doesn’t like my bag because its ugly. I didn’t get offend after all he
is my boyfriend I want him to be honest. But he also told me that he had spoiled
his exes in the past. He told me he got one a Gucci bag and a lot of
other expensive things. He also said that he spoiled them all but me. I don’t
know how I should take this. How should I take this?? I'm not a materialistic
girl but I feel that it’s so unfair because I have done a lot more for him in
these 5 months than his exes ever could. he's the one with the well paid job
but I’ve been the one spoiling him and he claims that he can see a future with
me and didn’t with his exes yet he spoiled them and here he is telling me that my
stuff is ugly but hasn’t got me anything like he had for his exes. How should I
go about dealing with this? I'm hurt and frustrated. please help thanks.
Whipping Post Pauline

A lot of men start out spoiling their girlfriends, and unfortunately, each time
they get hurt and/or burned, the toughen up, become harder, more jaded, but that
is how they become a man, one that can focus on his career and then his girlfriend,
not the other way around. Face it, if a man is completed besotted with his lady, he
is soft and may find it hard to concentrate on his work, which in counterproductive
if he wants to take care of his lady and their future children. It's hard for men in
that sense; they want to be kind, but have to protect themselves from being turned
into a powerless wad of jelly. A good man concentrates on work, but is still kind and
attentive to his lady. Some lose balance and decide "I am never going to be that
generous and sweet again; the next girl will suffer and know who the boss is!” This
is indeed unfair to the next girlfriend, who is; in this case you with the ugly cheap bag.
You have to let him know it is ignorant to tell you about spoiling his ex's and it's like
throwing pearls at swine, bragging about the expensive gifts while degrading your
accessories (only gay men even notice a fucking hand bag!).
Write him a note and say the only time you want him to mention bags is when he is
buying you one or putting his “bags” on your face. Just because you are into this man,
 doesn't mean you have to put up with that arrogant behavior. He was obviously hurt by
 one of these Gucci loving bitches and is taking it out on you. Mention that you too
deserve to be spoiled, and it doesn't
have to be with material items either. If he won't spoil you, make yourself available
for the one who will. 

I’m the mother of 2 young women. I never tell them when
or with whom to have sex, simply because I know I can't control this, and they will
do what they want or need to do. I want them to be good people who enjoy sex
and every other part of their lives. I have always been open with them when they have asked
any questions about sex and relationships. So, between me, their friends, the pop
culture and the internet, I know they have any info they need about sex and relationships
-short of the hindsight gained by good and bad experiences of their own. I am most fearful
though that my opinion about something going on in the life of my 20 year old, is the wrong
one for a mother to have. Nonetheless, it is my opinion.

She is in love with a 44 year old married man.
They would probably be a fine couple. I have told her that it might be the best thing
to back off because she will ultimately not be able to feel good about being a wedge between
two married people. This woman (his wife) could be her, could be me, could be her friend.
And, would it ever be possible for her to be trusting of a person who has cheated on a wife
or someone he has made a commitment to?

I can't say that she's making a wrong decision, because I am not my daughter.
She was born with the maturity of a 21 year old, and this man (I've not ever met him.)
is a youthful 44 year old with the spirit of a 21 year old. He is not a player.
I've checked him out without his knowing so.

Are my Morals out of whack? Am I being too
"Non-judgmental”? I’ve told her all of the drawbacks of this situation but
I want to support her and I know of others enjoying age gap relationships, like Celine Dion,
Michael Douglas, Nicolas Cage, etc.

I have been married for 25 years and there isn’t any divorce in either of
our family histories. I am pretty sure that there has been cheating whether hidden or
accepted in those histories. I don't like cheating. It makes me sad just to hear of it.
Then there is Karma and another man or woman with a potentially shattered life.
Why am I not preaching to my daughter about "morals"? Tell me please, I can take it.
Momma Karma

Young girls love to see how much power their pussy has: Could it lure another man away
from another woman? Could it break up a marriage? Can I make boys buy me things with it?
It's a big power thrill and an incredible aphrodisiac.
Flirting with and/or fucking a married person is like playing with fire. There are enough single
people around to seduce. The unhappily married person should have the balls to end their marriage
before starting another relationship on the side. I am against marriage in the first place; just
the pressure of being so tied down makes most want to stray at one point or another, so why fucking
pretend? Sure, being married makes it nice for the kids at school and gives people a tax break,
but it's an old fashioned tradition that ends in divorce more that 50% of the time.
If he did leave his wife for her, she would have a new title: "home wrecker" and most
of the time, when a man leaves his wife for his mistress, the mistress gets bored, as the challenge
is gone. Buy a copy of the book called 'The Rules for your daughter and leave it in her room.
It's not the greatest advice, certainly not as modern as mine but it will show her that she is in fact,
getting the short end of the stick. Don't be a friend; be a parent and tell her you don't approve.
Karma will prove to her that it's not a good idea to touch other women's men, as what goes around,
will in fact, come around.

Tell me why, why, why every single website that involves sex winds up (quickly)
with the guy getting a blow job?  I am straight as an arrow, but since I love
having my tits sucked long and hard, sometimes I would like to watch before my
boyfriend comes over to get me started.  I look for sites with strictly tit
sucking and find virtually nothing.  It says, "watch the blonde get her tits
sucked just before she goes down on the guys cock"?  Give me a break.  How about
something to get the girls going"?  Maybe I should write a sex story about it. 
I did that for a friend of mine and he said every time he reads that e-mail
again, he gets off.  It almost all of it is about having my tits hanging in his
face and him working them over.  Must work for some guys too!  Thanks.  Your
column is great!

Tittie Talia

That's an easy question to answer. Most porn is made by men for men, so
tit sucking is just a tiny side order. They make it obvious what really
turns them on, marathon blow jobs, DP and all those sticky cum shots.
Perhaps this is a challenge for you, start producing some porn that will
turn women on and we can finally abolish that annoying belief that using
the tip of your tongue to flick the clit for a few seconds actually does
anything for us. Why not film your boyfriend grabbing, licking and sucking
your jugs for a good half hour and next time you want to rub one out,
you can just watch your personalized video and wank.

Ask Dr. Dot (the Bitch is back)

I can not sleep with another person. I don't mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person (just my cat) This has offended many women. Can this be corrected?
Lester the Loner


Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can't even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn't mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.

I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger


It is not her fault if you can't stay hard enough for a condom, so it's ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now and the sex was great, and
now the past 2 months my boyfriend cums in about 3 min. He used to be able to
last awhile. Why does he get off so fast?
Ms. Loveme  Longtime


He is getting lazy and selfish.
Time to rock the boat. Make him lick you until you cum, and then he can enjoy his
3 minutes. Tell him you are getting bored with the quickies. Men like a girl who
can speak up and says what she wants, especially in bed.

< comfort zone

I am facing a dilemma I have no clue how to handle, and it’s getting
quite frustrating. This is what's going on:
I am completely in love with my girlfriend. Though we have only been together
for a year, we spend every day together, and I would love to do so for the rest
of my life. I am in no way unsure of my emotional feelings toward her, but I
have another problem.
I don't know why, but I have always been very interested in sodomy. I don't know
why, it's not a conscious decision.
She has given me head a few times, though she has only done it until I came on
two separate occasions. One time she swallowed, and the other time she didn't. I
know how other people's sex lives are often void of oral, so I don't see myself
as incredibly unfortunate, but there's one thing that tips the scales, and that
is that I frequently go down on her. It'll usually happen about 3-4 times a
week, if not more, and it’s not very rare for twice in a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and I am very good at it, as she comes
every time. But I feel like our sex life is very one sided. I've tried talking
to her about it, but all I get are answers like, "I just don't feel like it" or
"Do we have to do it all the time for our sex life to be good?" (I don't
understand how that last one even applies though, because she's getting some
practically every night.) I don't know how to stress this point well enough to
her, without seeming like a sex hungry jerk. I also suffer from the fact that I
was in a different relationship about two years ago, and that girl gave me head
all the time, (almost nightly) and we did anal once. (That's when I got my thing
for it.)
I guess my question is what makes you enjoy giving head? I love giving her head,
and I've asked her once, maybe twice, if she liked doing so to me, and all I get
is an "I don't mind." I feel very unsatisfied, and seeing as I please her with
my tongue on an almost nightly basis, I feel she should do the same.
I do not want a "Doing it because I have to" blowing though. That sounds
Hungry for Head

First of all, stop eating her out. When she asks why you stopped, tell her "I
don't feel like it" or "do I have to in order for our sex life to be good?"
She should get the fucking message loud and clear. She is selfish and spoiled by
your eager mouth.
I really think you want anal sex because it reminds you so much of your ex who
satisfied your oral cravings, like a good girlfriend should.
Look what happened to Bill Clinton when he wasn't getting head from Hilary. Stop
giving and you will start receiving.
It is clear you are more into her, then she is into you. She is obviously into
sex, as she lets you lick her clean every night, so it just boils down to her
being selfish and just not into your cock like she should be.

ps. Maybe you and "Loveme Longtime" should get together 


If a girl swallows for you does it mean something? I mean
do women swallow on one nighters? What does it signify?

Delighted but scared

It means you hit the Jack Pot. Some may scoff and label such a willing
creature to be too promiscuous; down right slutty. Then again, it takes
two to tango; two to be naughty enough to give it up on the first “date”.
 When a woman swallows you, it means she accepts you completely;
she REALLY likes you. She’s a keeper 😉

Feel free to send me your questions. I never use a person's real name, so fire away: 


Dr. Dot 

Ask Dr. Dot – June 1, 2007


Dr. Dot on facebook:  


For a year I have been seeing someone I have many things in common with,
except I don't smoke pot or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety.
 He always made me feel beautiful, respected and pursued.  He always made
the calls and arranged the dates.  But, he has made it clear to me he doesn't
 like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger.  Once Saturday
 night we went out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave.  He
took a walk with the boyfriend and left me with his sister.  When the boyfriend
 returned 15 minutes later he was alone.  My boyfriend stayed in another
 part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing by himself.
He stayed away almost an hour and I found him just because I was looking
 for something to do. His sister had to set up her own band.  He came over
to me buy I was livid. When he realized I was angry he froze me out of the
conversation later when the 4 of us ordered drinks at the bar. I was hurt
and angry the rest of the night.  When our date was over he was annoyed at
 my anger.  He didn't call me for 2 weeks.  Then we exchanged a few emails,
 he called Easter and on my birthday. I couldn't see him the day he invited
 me to celebrate my birthday over a week ago, and I haven't heard from him
since.  Should I let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can't never get angry.
Fed Up Franny

As nice as he may be, this ganja smoking Peter Pan is lost in his
own little never-never land. He can’t behave anyway
he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest
child or a spoiled only child who always got his way.
I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on
eggshells your whole life long (exhausting!). If you really
can’t live without this sensitive control freak, let him do
all the work, all of the contacting and planning. Trying to
turn a pot head/pill popper into a caring, thoughtful partner
is an uphill battle. He sounds about as useful as a cat flap
 in an elephant house.

Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
Burning Bush Kate




Think back. Did all of your other lover’s spunk burn you? If
 you have both been tested for STD’s and came out clean, this
 could be mother natures way of saying "this guy is not the
right one for you". Smell and the way one makes you feel can
really say a lot about a lover. “Love” should feel great, not
painful and like someone used a flame thrower on your snatch.

My girlfriend only wants to screw after lunch. In the morning I
wake up and am ready for a shag before breakfast; while she's
 still a zombie. At night she's "too tired". Only after lunch
does she suddenly get really fucking horny but I'm usually at work!
 Any tricks to turning her on in the early hours?
Morning Muffin Man



Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home,
 shag her, then go back to work with a shit eating grin on your face.
Saying 'no' to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being "tired"
 at night, tell her "just let me do all the work honey, just lay
 there and let me fuck you". Those words usually work like "open sesame".

Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
Lazy Luke

Having dated a few European men, I can tell you, it’s rather popular
over there. Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening
them if they leave the seat up. But then again, peeing while sitting
down enables you to:
– Make sure you get all your piss in the bowl
– Takes the weight off your feet
– Requires less concentration
– Getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up doesn’t happen
– Gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise.
What's not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say
go for it, no one is supposed to see you do your business anyways. The
only disadvantage is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.





My wife, god bless her, is 56 and still has her regular periods. When will
it be safe to stop fucking her with a rubber?
Rubber Hell

You should be happy and proud that you married such a
healthy, ripe woman that still ovulates at age 56. This means she can still get
 pregnant, but from the sounds of things, you two have thrown in the procreating
 towel. If so, why not get snipped? Or she could have her tubes cut and tied.
 You could also have her start taking birth control pills OR use the 'Clear Blue
 Easy Fertility Monitor’ available at
would need protection during her "dangerous Wal-Mart, CVS. etc (In Europe it's called
"Persona" and you can get it in any Chemist)
 She would just keep close tabs with this gadget, finding out when she is most fertile. I am surprised
 you two haven't tried such things yet as one of the best
parts about being married is being able to ditch the condoms for more pleasurable
 forms of birth control, like the pill or IUD, Diaphragm, the ring or this monitoring
 system I just mentioned. I hope you will be riding bareback again soon.

I am in a difficult relationship, well not difficult but a confusing one.  At first
 we were friends, mostly via the internet, and then when I moved closer to him, we
started to see each other a lot more; we have been seeing each other (fucking) for
the past 3 months.  I know that he likes me and he tells me so,  he tells me that if
I was closer to him I would be his girl or he would be seeing me everyday; however
when he returns home it’s a different story.  He only will communicate via IM or
 myspace and speaking of that I’m last on his list.
Sometimes I feel that he just doesn't want to be bothered…and considering we are friends;
 I will say, hey? do you need some time alone? (instead of making me sit in front of
the damn pc while he is busy chatting with other ppl)..he just says, don’t be silly but
 then…I end up sitting and waiting.

 I have confronted him in a nice way of course and asked where do I stand with him?
  His response was that, he is confused and unsure what he wants at the moment.  I asked
him if he is keeping his options open?  His response is NO.  He also states that, he
wouldn't like it if I was with someone else…because he wouldn’t be with someone else.
 This is just confusing again!

This is hard for me because I am so in love with him and when he is here I know he is
 mine it’s when he is gone that I feel lost and confused and hopeless.  I don’t want to
loose our friendship but I just don’t know where I stand with him or what he wants but
 then again, neither does he.
Blinded by Love-Layla



My advice, start seeing other people as it sounds to me like he has another, even if he
says he doesn't. It’s been said “women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships”.
 If he was that into you, he would be begging you to move closer, to let him move near you,
 or to at least see you more often. He would call, rather than chat with you like an online buddy.

When a man is in love and hell bent on making sure the girl is HIS, they don't behave like
 the wanker you are describing. Sorry but I don’t sugar coat. He is taking advantage of you;
open your eyes and realize you are just his fuck buddy and nothing more.
Get gorgeous, get busy and stop "waiting" around for that indecisive fuck face.

Hello Dr. Dot. I read the New York Press every Wednesday, and your column is the first page I
turn to. Honest. I have a quick clean question. I am a single, never married 45 year old Hispanic
 male, well educated (2 degrees), not bad looking I am told, good shape (like to work out) etc.etc.
 but I cannot find a date. You have heard it before I am sure. I am thinking of taking dance classes
 to possibly meet interesting women. Good idea or bad idea. What kind of dancing should I learn.
 I have no experience at all with any type of dancing. How should I approach this decision? Thank
You very, very much Dr. Dot.
Pimpin’ Pedro

Dance classes, along with cooking and yoga classes are excellent places to pull. Salsa lessons would
 ensure you meet lots of ladies who either already have a fiery rhythm, or want one. Such classes
 are usually predominantly female and you would end up a popular dance partner. It's tough finding
love in a big city but as a single male, the odds are on your side (lots of gays mean, lots of single
ladies). Make sure your breath is ALWAYS fresh and buy a fresh scent: 'Angle Men' (A-men) from Thierry Mugler
or Fahrenheit from Christian Dior, these scents make women weak in the knees.

I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months, and things have been great,
 but are moving into a beyond the 'surface' stage of our relationship.I haven't
had something like this in awhile and he was very romantic and generous with his
word up until recently. He isn’t seeing someone else and he contacts me
regularly but the sweetness has faded a little. He’s very stressed at work
and the last time I saw him he looked tired and admitted that he takes on
too much and then feels overwhelmed. I freaked a little when he said he has to
find balance. I took it personally because when I had heard that before, it meant that they were
disappearing,and that perhaps I had done something to change their mind.  In my heart, I know
he really cares about me, but I am afraid. He’s invited me to go with his family for
dinner next week, but that urgency to see me has faded and he’s really putting himself
first these past days.I understand that, but I still get fearful that my romantic guy won't come
back.  I apologized for the mini-freak out and explained to him my fears. He was all ears
and philosophical about it.  I just wish I could relax and not worry so much. Any thoughts?
Fearful Freda

You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog
can smell another dogs ass miles away.
It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things
really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really
get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high; that addictive butterfly effect
 a fresh
love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually romance turns
 into a familiarity; there is no way of avoiding it. We would all like our lover to be
 mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but it's just bullshit;
that only exists in romance flicks.
You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums; more confidence and calm will
prevent them from disappearing. Men need space, patients and above all, less drama.
Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your
own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that
and feel free. Just like being in a room alone with a cat, if you close the door,
the cat wants OUT now. If you leave the door a bit open, he will want to sit on
your lap and pine for your attention.

I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
 because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
 him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
 How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
 similar……right now he will not even kiss me.
Beaver Deceiver

For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
 (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
 forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
 have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".

Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
 missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
 you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
 You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
 Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
 will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.


For the last year and a half I've been in a relationship with one of the most
gorgeous girls I've met inside and outside I think I am in love with her but
there's one issue (actually multiple issues).  I am 23 and she is only 20.   I
am very independent, have my own place, work somewhere in Wall Street and
graduated from college almost 3 years ago.   I come from a very poor and humble
family and feel that I have already accomplished a lot.  My girlfriend on the
other hand is 20 and still in school, her parents pay for her car, give her
money every week, and pay for everything.   Now the big one: She has a
curfew! she has to be home at 10 every night, which would be ok with me if I
was in high school but all of a sudden I cant handle it.   Also please note
that even though she is young she makes good money in her part time job (at least
more than $20 an hour) I tried very hard to make this work but after a year I
feel like I should go out there and meet people that are on the same stage as
me…The icing on the cake is that her family is Jewish and I am not so they do
not approve of me so there's no way I can convince them to leave the situation.
Even though I love her lately…I've just been thinking really about where
this all going…and at the end of the day I am just not happy…what’s your
take on this?
Master Baiter

Just because you love one, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest. You are 20-fucking-3.
Your life has just begun. You will meet many people in your life and if you
try and settle down now, it probably won't last, especially with so many odds
against you. I sense a bit of resentment from you towards your younger, sheltered/spoiled
20 year old Jewish Princess. Her family will not bend unless you concert and even so, if
they are so anal as to put a curfew on a 20 year old, why would you want to be part of
that family?
Imagine how strict they would be if you had kids with her? You obviously year
to meet others so do it. Leaving her would be easy, just blame it on her
family not accepting you and her curfew. Tell her you want to be friends but
want to be single. You are a young and ambitious man in a big city, in other
words, it's raining pussy.

I recently moved to a new town and had my tits made bigger (new town; new
jugs) and I love them. But every time I go out, people, mostly men, ask me
“are those real?” and they are not even huge. This really pisses me off.. I
don’t know how to respond without looking like a liar or coward. Some even ask
about my breasts before they ask my name or if I want a drink. Any suggestions
would be greatly appreciated.
Breasty Beauty




A few ideas off hand: (1) If you weren’t so ignorant, you may have found out
yourself (2) Does it really fucking matter? Or if you have a sense of humor
(3) No, I just bought them on Ebay, aren’t they fucking bodacious?


Me and my girlfriend get along well; we have the occasional small fight
but nowadays, Sex has gotten outta hand, it just seems I can’t cum any more.
Me and my girlfriend have tried almost every position, including foreplay.
We try crazy things like her dressing up or fulfilling fantasies, but she
just can’t handle it, we go at it, and then she cums, and im stuck in a not so
sticky situation. She does kegel exercises and is indeed nicely fitted to my
penis, however she says my penis is too long, and there are times when I can feel my
cock hit a dead end so to say. Sometimes causing her a rush of excitement,
others causing pain. Any ideas on what to do?
Long Dong Silver


Too long does hurt our delicate love cave, but avoiding the doggy style
position could help avoid extreme pain. Let her be on top, so she can control
the pressure, or when you are on top, be gentle. Perhaps take a break from all
of the bells and whistles and just have her blow you for a good hour. That
should make you cum.  Tell her not to forget your balls or your taint (tain't
your ass, and it tain't your balls). Never met a man who can't cum from great

Ask Dr. Dot (Hot for Teacher/Pubic Hair-Ball Hell)


I'm 33, grew up in a middle class Democrat household, with one sibling.
I had to learn a lot about the way the world works.
My girlfriend grew up in Chicago. She's 32, from a large, very rich Republican family.
She is wonderful but going through a brutal divorce and cries all the time. She questions
 my feelings for her. I hate to hear people cry about everything. I find it weak and
annoying. I'm aware that life is hard for her right now. But it's killing me! I give her
 advice and then she turns it around on me and my life. When I hear this shit, I get quiet.
 Then she knows that I'm upset and starts to apologize. She also
has Multiple Sclerosis I know what this does to her. I love her and I'll wait for her.
I am very loyal and know I am a good boyfriend;
I don't give up on people, hold grudges or worried about wasting time.
I've read your advice to others and was amazed by your vision and need input,
some other way to look at this dilemma.
At wits end Wally  

If she is from Chicago, some of those tears could be from missing her family and their support.
I realize some may get emotional about a divorce but she should be happy, not sad, that she
can now move on and concentrate on her new relationship and the future, not crying about the
miserable past (most divorce because of bad times, not good times). Some of the tears could
be from the fear of her diesease and/or perhaps she is on the pill? The pill can make any
woman an emotional wreck. Ask her if she is on the pill as many women just can't handle the monthly
hormonal roller coaster ride the pill brings them on. It can push some into deep depression.
Write her a letter and tell her you were hoping she would be relieved and happy about
finalizing her departure from her ex, not sad and you are taking those tears as a sign she
isn't happy about your future together. Perhaps if she reads this she will finally see that her
 whining is becoming selfish and making you feel responsible.
You can't save her from her disease, but you are there for her so that should be enough to dry
those miserable tears.


I started dating this guy and things got very good, very fast. It feels legit, and I
know he is not a player type, he's doing all the right things; dinners, plans to go away,
he introduces me to everyone, etc. The intensity has calmed a little (it's been a month now)
and he is still proving his feelings with actions and less with words, but I am still hungry
for him chasing me a little. I think I am just addicted to intensity.
Do you think that once guys decide they may have a future with a girl,
they ease up after the initial courting because they are plotting their lives together – i.e.
how am I going to support us, etc..?
I am trying to just flow and not create dramas just to have the intensity.
I want to continue playing my cards right. Can you suggest anything without much game playing ?
 My instinct is to date others to protect myself, but that is an old script I
want to rid myself!

Passion Hungry Hannah

This is the sort of thing that makes men consider us high maintenance. He's doing every thing
 correctly, but you still want more. We all love passion but that initial high one gets with
 a new partner can not last forever.
You can either keep dating new people to get that rush or find another way to get it like bungee
 jumping, roller blading , learning karate OR using your imagination and screwing your partner
 in forbidden places/situations.
Of course it won't be the exact kind of rush, but it will keep things exciting. You don't need
to play any cards or games to make him chase you more, just let him date you like he does and if
he is doing everything right, like you said, you may end up with a life long partner who may not
 be shooting fireworks out of his ass, but will be there for you and as time goes on, stability
becomes more attractive than constant passion.
You can save the drama part for the bedroom, like I said, and use your imagination to keep the rush alive.

 I met this awesome chick online and agreed to meet
 her in person, and as far as I could tell, she was interested in sex.
 Unfortunately, schedules were difficult and she ended up
 meeting me while I was out with my best friend. We both instantly fell in
 love with her, and half-jokingly I suggested we wage war over her. Being as
 how my time was wrapped up at the moment, he started seeing her regularly
 and she ended up dating him. The three of us remained
 friends, and the two of them have even spent the night at my place.

 Still, there's genuine sexual tension there.  She knows what she does to me,
 and she is very flirty with both of us when we are with her.  He doesn't live
 in the city, so he has to come from the suburbs, and because her and I are usually
 in close proximity, there's always the sense that something could happen.
  Recently I receive a text message, saying she "really wants to come over tonight".
 This would be a major betrayal of my best friend, but I was thinking with my cock
 and I invited her over  for a nightcap.
 She got cold feet and said no, and reminded that she was dating my friend but
 she also found me hot.
 After she said no, I told our other mutual friend, who suggested I should tell
 my original friend about the interaction. He made me swear I'd tell him, but I
 think only bad things can come out of that, and it's best we kept this
 conversation quiet, but I'm afraid my other friend will spill the beans if I refuse.
 What should
 I do?
 Stuck in the middle

Take the high road and don't mention it. If you did, your best friend would probably think
 with his dick and will thank you for the tip but ignore it as a warning or he may even think
 that you are lying, trying to break them up, so you lose either way. You couldn't win or gain
 in that situation. Just smile, knowing, she desires you. Find another hot babe ASAP and then you
 can all double date and then you can make both your friend and that indecisive girl squirm. As for
 your blackmailing buddy, tell him you stand by your choice and he should shut his pie hole.

 I'm a 22-year old girl and really want to fuck my
French professor who is 41.  The college that I attend
has a strict policy about student/teacher
relationships, but because of particular incidents I
know for a fact that he's into me.  He is not my
Professor this year, although he was last year, and
every time we see each other there is sexual tension.
We can't communicate via the college's email because
of the technology dept.'s close eye (college is
small).  My ultimate fantasy has been to have an
affair with a professor.  How can I let him know that
I'm into him, without letting the entire community
know it?  And what can I do to draw his attention?
I'm afraid to make the first move in case I'm
rejected/make a fool of myself, but if that's his fear
too, then how do we assure each other that the
feelings are mutual?

Hot for Teacher 



This is very risky and probably the most popular fantasy that
people who love to act upon. You are both adults so I would
certainly not be the one to say "No no!".
Life is all about taking chances and everyone is entitled to make
an ass out of themselves, it builds character and gives you something
to laugh about when sitting in traffic. You both know the consequences
so move forward at your own risk. If the temptation is too much to bare,
write him a note with your number and private email address and say
"If you're thinking what I'm thinking, feel free to get in touch, x"
If he is married, don't bother, give the guy a break. But if he is single,
why not?
If kept very private, once you leave College, you could start breeding
with this man and the "happily ever after" story could happen.

Myspace is a double edged sword. I met my ex on there and now
the my new love interest has been getting harassed from my
ex and it seems she has changed her tune, she grew cold on me.
I smell foul play; my ex probably poisoned the new girl with
evil thoughts about me. How can I turn this around?
Myspace Mayhem

You are correct; myspace is HELL for anything that has
to do with dating and love relationships. Unlike real life
where your past is usually out of sight, out of mind,
myspace has your past and present all online for all to see
and it can be used against you, to incriminate you and allows jealous
people to stalk and cause trouble.
All you can do it write your ex and tell her to give you a
fair chance and to please ignore your past.
You may want to email her as she may have blocked you on
myspace. Get your point across asap, be it online or in a real letter.
If that doesn't help, let it slide, you can't pine after someone
who doesn't want you anymore.
Next time, make your profile private so these girls can't cause any
more cat fights at your expense. Be careful who you accept as friends,
they could be ex's in disguise.

I'm in love with a married lady. How can I get her to forget about
her husband and pay me some attention. I’m a security guard, and she is a TV star.
She makes much more money than I do, but I know she loves to fuck me.
What can I do and do you think I have a chance to win this woman over for real?
Billy the Back Door man

Most married people do not leave their spouse for a lover and if they do, how could
you ever trust them?
The whole aspect of them being taken, hard to get and unavailable makes them so much
more attractive, so the passion is extreme, more so then if they were single and
giving you more attention. People always want what they can't have, so keep that in
mind at all times, it may help ease your aching, yearning heart.
Since she is so successful and already married, she probably needs a challenge, so try not
to be at her beck and call, be a tad hard to get yourself, keep her on her toes.
BUT if I were you, I would play the field, keep your options open, as she could drop you
like a hot potato at any given moment.

I was dating this 24 year old Australian guy, (I am 21) and I knew from the start it
was temporary, as he was on a 6 month Visa. We had amazing sex but he was far from
perfect; he hardly had any money and was messy when he slept over, but still, I grew
 to love him and the regular, hot sex. The end of the 6 months arrived and instead

of wanting to see me more, he hung with his friends and barely called, he was rather
 mean to me in fact. Had I not called the night before he left, I doubt we would have
met again at all. I am in tears, wondering if it was all a joke for him. Words of
 wisdom please.
Tear-eyed Tess

Of course there is a possibility that he was just using you, but I am willing to bet he
was doing the man thing and trying to either save his feelings or yours. By acting like
a heartless prick, he didn't have to say a  sad good bye, which is very cowardly but
sometimes it's hard for a man to show his loving, tender feelings so being mean is easier.
Being cold to you may have been his way of saying "get over me, stop thinking about me,
 I am out of here". If you think of it that way, it may help you stop crying and ask yourself,
"were the good times worth the tears?" If not, next time a person says "I am only here for
a while" just keep walking as obviously feelings can get hurt.


Every time I suck my boyfriends cock I get cock hairs in my mouth. What do I do with them?
 I have been swallowing them but I wonder if they are bad or good for me.

Hair-ball Haley

Ask him to trim his jungle down to a tasteful bush.
They may feel rough going down, but it won't hurt you to swallow his short and curly’s
it's like fiber, keeps things moving in your digestive system.