Ask Dr. Dot February 2011


Free Love, Sex and Relationship advice: drdot@drdot.com 




 Q.

Recently I started dating this guy, 26 years old. I am a 28. When we first met, I had been going to his place as I paid him to fix my lap top. I thought that he was gay, because of his mannerisms. He acts and talks very feminine. However, he hit on me and I was surprised but flattered as he is very handsome. I flat out asked him “aren't you gay?”. He hesitantly said, “no”. Then I asked if he was bisexual and he said “not really”. I said “What? Have you ever made out with a man?” and then he told me “yes once or twice”. I don't understand this. How can one not know if they are gay or not? Making out with a man, if you're a man, is gay. He says he doesn't like to be labeled, but I need to know. How can I handle this without scaring him off? He has a HUGE fat cock, which I sucked once already (loves it!) but I am wondering, has it been in a few men's asses or has he been fucked in the ass? Will my twat be enough for this dude?

Dude looks like a lady

 

 

 

A.

A new lover is sort of like a used car; it may seem new to you but you just can never tell how many or what kind people have ridden in it before you got it. I have met a few well hung men who have also pitched for both teams simply because they feel their massive cocks are too precious to be limited to one gender. They want EVERYONE to worship their gigantic rods. If he treats you well and you use protection, just enjoy him for what he is, a well endowed, open minded amusement park ride. You can't change the past, so just enjoy the present (pun intended).

 

Q.

I've been seeing this man for the past few months and we laugh a lot and have a great time but I feel like I am being taken advantage of sometimes. I cook, drive to him ( he lives 30 miles away) . I have to pay sometimes when we go out as he is out of work. I guess I want to prove that not all girls are after a Man's money. I spend a lot on gas and even feed his cat. How can I get out of this routine without coming across as being mean?

 Lovely Linda

 

 

A.

If you give too much people will take too much. Be nice but stop giving. See what happens. You will find out if he still wants to come around and see you, etc. If he asks you why the sudden change, tell him "I am exhausted from making such a big effort for us". You need to know the truth. If he really wants you, he will make a bigger effort and start being more generous. Keep in mind, there is one thing you can never change and that is biology; The sperm come to the egg; not the egg to the sperm.

 

 

 

Q.

I'm 20 years old with an 18 year old fiancee. Young, yes, but we have a lot of love for each other. Just recently she has been shying away from sex, she said she just didn't have the urge to… She had recently been put on the depo birth control shot. Which I figured (A) Sometimes people go through dry spells, and (B) Birth control can really play a toll on females. Well on top of the whole not having sex thing, she has become more stand-offish. She will fight with me about anything, and yell at me for the simplest of things. I don't know what is going on, I don't want to believe she's being unfaithful because I trust her. She was walking to grab a screw driver just now and turned around half way through the hall to grab her phone, maybe because she knew I would go through it, or was waiting for a friend to respond, I don't know the case.I really am fighting to hold on to what I have, but it seems like every time I try to better things, they become worse. And thoughts? Tips? Advice? What should I do? I'm really lost,

Hasty Hal

 

 

 

A.

You say you trust her yet she “knew” you would go through her mobile phone when it was unattended. This proves something is brewing between you two. First of all, she is only 18. She probably doesn't know her ass from her elbow yet. Her yelling at you and protecting her phone are signs that she is bored with the relationship, probably having an affair (this is pretty much expected from teen-agers). At your age (20 and 18) getting engaged may be a sweet gesture but you see now that the security you sought is quickly killing the love and passion you had. I suggest sitting her down and telling her you love her madly, still want to be romantically involved but are calling off the engagement. Tell her "why rush into things? I can see the pressure of being engaged is getting to both of us, there is no rush, we are both young, lets just love each other and forget the contract". If you don't have the balls to tell her to her face, write a nice letter to her, making sure you stress the fact you are not breaking up with her, just ridding the engagement which you feel has changed things. Stand by your decision and you will find out the truth; she will either crave you more or be relieved and move on to whatever it is that is distracting her so much. You need to know and this gesture will show you if she can live without you or not. Getting married, in my opinion, is old fashioned and unnecessary-unless immigration plays a role in it. Getting married before age 30 is just inviting chaos into your life.

 

Q.

I am 22 years old girl and had my first relationship with a guy who took my virginity and after few months he dumped me. I decided have another affair with a guy who made me pregnant. I am not in a good relationship and I wish to go back to my first boyfriend who too my cherry and ran. I try to find his whereabouts but only found that he's in jail and was sentenced for 15 years. I love him very much and I wish to have him back whenever he comes out of jail; am i right to go back to him? I miss him so badly and I have a 4 years old daughter I don't know if he will accept me. Help me.

Ditzy Donna

 

 

 

A.

You may THINK you "love him" but loving someone who doesn't want you is retarded. People tend to romanticize about their first ever lover. The one who took their virginity sometimes stays in our hearts and minds but this does not mean they are "the one". In fact it seldom ever works out being the one. He already dumped you once. It's over. It will never work out. Not only does he not want you (you can TELL when a man wants you, he makes it very clear by calling, texting, emailing, trying to find you like the sperm tries to find the egg) but he is in JAIL. Do you really think this is the best father figure for your daughter? You need to get busy as it sounds like you have way too much free time. Would you want your daughter to spend her time chasing a criminal who doesn't even want her? I doubt it. Set a good example for your kid by working hard and only loving men who love you (and I don't just mean sex you, I mean LOVE you). You are wasting your time even thinking about this idiot. Get busy, move on and the right man will come along. Men usually don't mind when a woman has a child already, especially a cute little daughter. It shows them you are capable of pushing out a healthy kid and either gives them hope they will get one out of you too or if they don't want any of their own, they will enjoy the fact you have one and won't be bothering them for a child.

 

 

Q.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and we have been having serious relationship issues because every time we have sex, she gets a yeast infection. Its to the point where she resents me so much for it, that we constantly fight, argue, and refrain from sex all together. She claims its my fault and I keep giving it to her, but I don't feel any symptoms and she is the only girl I have had this problem with. I work part time and I don't have medical insurance so I haven't had the chance to see a doctor either. I really love her, and I don't want to do anything stupid like cheat on her, but more importantly I don't want to lose her over this. What can I do?

 Tortured Tommy

 

 

A.

This happens A LOT. Tell her to make sure she cuts back on eating sugar, carbs and avoid using any soaps on her snatch. Get some yeast infection cream, like Yeast Guard or something similar. Try and give it a rest for a few days to work it's magic (if you simply have to fuck, use the creme as lubrication). She also needs to wear cotton panties (no thongs) to bed so her crotch can breath. You can both eat acidophilus tablets and lots of natural yogurt to keep your bodies bacteria in check. Try using a condom next time, perhaps that will help. Tell her MANY women get itchy/irritated pussies after sex and it's not your fault that she too much cheese on her Taco.

 

RIP Richard Wright (founding member of Pink Floyd dies)

Cry

Pink Floyd Keyboardist Richard Wright Dead At 65

Founding member and songwriter had a 'short struggle with cancer,' spokesperson says.

Founding Pink Floyd keyboardist Richard Wright died in England on Monday (September 15) at the age of 65 after a battle with cancer. No further information about the cause of Wright's death was available at press time, according to The Associated Press.

"The family of Richard Wright, founder member of Pink Floyd, announce with great sadness, that Richard died … after a short struggle with cancer," read a statement from a spokesperson. "The family have asked that their privacy is respected at this difficult time."

The self-taught keyboardist met bassist Roger Waters and drummer Nick Mason in architecture school and in 1964 joined their group Sigma 6, which eventually evolved into the Pink Floyd Sound. With the addition of late singer/guitarist Syd Barrett — who left the band in 1968 and died in 2006 of cancer — the group, now called Pink Floyd, began its rise as one of the most creative and powerful psychedelic bands on the British scene.

In that early period, along with Barrett, Wright was a major musical engine driving the band's pioneering experimental sound, penning the songs "The Great Gig in the Sky" and "Us and Them" on Floyd's legendary 1973 black-light rock opus, Dark Side of the Moon. He also added key vocals to the 1971 20-plus minute epic, "Echoes." He made significant contributions to the songs "Atom Heart Mother" and the Barrett tribute "Shine on You Crazy Diamond." However, along with Gilmour and Mason, Wright found his contributions diminishing as Waters increasingly dominated the band's songwriting and direction.

In a group whose history is rife with decades-long grudges, Wright was not immune to the inter-band drama, splitting with Floyd in 1979 during sessions for The Wall, due to his strained relationship with Waters. He returned to the group as a paid session musician for shows in 1980 and 1981, but he was not included on 1983's The Final Cut, the only Floyd album on which he didn't appear. Following Waters' departure, Wright rejoined the band in 1988. He played keyboards and sang on A Momentary Lapse of Reason and co-wrote five songs on 1994's The Division Bell.

Wright, who performed on every Floyd tour, was also onstage in 2005, when the surviving members of the band played a rapturously received reunion gig at the Live 8 concert. Wright released a handful of solo albums and appeared on records by Barrett, and he had been performing regularly with Floyd singer/guitarist David Gilmour.

 

Roger Waters = AMAZING!

      <  "REG"

    <Thanks Simon, I owe ya.

Sometimes it's hard for me to express in words the excitement of touching certain people. This doesn't happen often (me, a loss for words?). Last week, June 8th and 9th to be exact I was in heaven and it has taken me a few days to get my feet back on the ground. For some it may be hard to grasp being so excited about a musician, but I could tell you, it would be the same for a boxer to win a match, a soccer team to win the world cup, you get my drift.

I have met Roger Waters several times over the years and each time I am over the moon with glee. He has always been an object of my desire since the first time I heard his music. The fondness grew stronger when I laid eyes on him *sigh*. Such a mastermind and so attractive and on top of that, he is the coolest. If you have any doubts, please buy the DVD called "Pink Floyd: LIVE AT POMPEII" and after you watch it, think of me saying "I told you so".

It may sound odd to some but for me, Roger is the UK version of Zappa, but probably just to me. His lyrics are so deep, so meaningful, they teach. Waters and Zappa wrote lyrics that I studied more than any subject in school. Ditto with the Beatles, but Waters did many concept albums and they are not just entertaining, they really changed my way of looking at life. Animals, Dark Side of the Moon and The Pro's and Cons of Hitchhiking are 3 albums I could not live without. I know, sounds obsessive, but we all have our fetishes.

Roger wrote 98% of all Pink Floyd lyrics and music, (for example, Roger wrote the Wall and The Pro's and Cons ALONE, and then presented them to the rest of the band and said "I will do one of these as a solo project, which one would you all like to do as a group. They chose the Wall. The Pro's and Con's is just as good, if not better, than the Wall. Reg Rules)- he IS Pink Floyd. I can not go see "Pink Floyd" if Roger isn't there. I have videos of Floyd when Gilmour wasn't even in the band. I do love Gilmour and the rest of the band, but I am a Roger fan and stand by that 100 %. Once in 1987, Roger was on tour and so were Pink Floyd. In Providence, RI, "Pink Floyd" (without Roger!) played and the very next day, Roger played ( I went to the show). There were so many idiots walking around wearing shirts that said "Fuck Roger" I wanted to hurl! They bought them at the Pink Floyd show and they were black with the same writing as there is on the Wall album. How tacky.  Enough ass kissing you say? Bollocks, don't get me started, I could go on and on about "Reg" (Roger's nick name). My 3 musical heroes are Beatles, Zappa, Floyd and sometimes it changes, as in, some months it's Floyd, Beatles, Zappa, and other times it's Zappa, Floyd, Beatles; know what I mean? Those are my top three, and just like you shouldn't choose your favorite child, don't press me to choose just one favorite.

I remember driving around NH, in between Grateful Dead tours, with my younger brother and sister, CRANKING the cassette: Ummagumma. I made them listen to it repeatedly. Then it was onto Meddle, Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, Saucer full of Secrets, Obscured by Clouds, Relics, a Nice Pair, even Barretts INSECTS album. Too bad it never sunk it, they both like rap. What a fucking waste. Thank GOD my kid Jasmine saw the light. I raised her on Beatles, Floyd and Zeppelin (just started her on Zappa a couple years ago, as Zappa is rather vulgar heh heh).

Jasmine can play Wish you were here and most Beatles tunes on her guitar, so I am satisfied. What I'm saying, is this music is worth preaching.

I have seen over 3,200 shows now, all for free. The only time I have bought tickets was before I turned 15 and for a Roger Waters benefit show in 1990 here in Berlin, his WALL show and then again for the Zappa plays Zappa show and more recently the June 8th Roger Waters show here in Berlin. Those shows were so important to me, that I didn't want to risk it, what if no one wanted a massage? I had to be sure we were getting in. I ended up getting backstage for Zappa plays Zappa and gave my tix away to Jasmine's pal and luckily, the same happened at the Roger Waters show.

It was looking like Jasmine and I would just be in the audience to see the show, but in the last minute, I decided to just try- I called Simon, a guy I have known for a few years now. He worked with Dave Gahan and I saw him backstage at Live 8 with Roger Waters. I called him and he said "Dot, where are you? Can't believe we are in Berlin and you're not backstage".

Um, say no more, Jasmine and I grabbed and cab and were bouncing off the taxi walls with insane excitement. The taxi driver was about 70 years old and took the longest, slowest possible route which made me want to rip him a second asshole, but nevertheless, we got there as the show started and ran towards the stage singing the first song "In the Flesh" out loud (all of the Germans were looking at us like WTF??!!), but we didn't give a flying fuck.

I was wearing an English Football (er, soccer for you yanks) shirt  and this made me the object of hateful glares all night from the German football fans. They kept saying to me in amusing  English "You are VEARING zeeee  VRONG SHIRT!". heh heh, we'll see mates, we'll see.

Jasmine wanted to watch the show from the side, but I dragged her backstage as I wanted to thank Simon profusely for the backstage passes. He was super happy to see us and insisted we watch the show from THE SIDE OF THE STAGE!!!!  Jasmine was basically hyperventilating at this point from too much joy at once. She and I have watched Live at Pompeii an unhealthy amount of times and she has never seen Roger live before. *sigh*.

Simon bring us drinks on stage, hello, could he be any fucking nicer? Simon is the bomb!!!!  ^

Please don't read me the riot act here, yes, Jasmine had a beer. She will be 17 on Monday (June 19th) . Hello! They all start really young here enjoying their beverages. If you try to prevent/forbid it, they just do it even more. I just go with the flow and trust her judgment. Go with the flow baby, "the times they are a changin' ".

 

The sound was amazing, I haven't head such amazing sound quality since last years Live 8 when Pink Floyd reformed.

Roger is a perfectionist and I am grateful for that. My ears were smiling all night long. Jasmine broke out in tears during Wish you Were Here. You know how certain songs remind you of a certain person/time, well, that song had a lot of folks bleary eyed. I love how Roger goes to the edge of the stage and sings, even when he isn't in front of a mic. I told him that I like that and he said he likes to encourage people to sing along and it works. The whole place seemed to know every word to every song, even though English isn't their mother tongue.

 

^  Has been playing guitar for Roger for ages. Mr. Andy Fairweather Lowe, the Great!

 

I am wearing the RIGHT shirt!   ^

 < Jasmine and I in heaven!

 

 

 

  The set list ^ which Roger Signed the next day after his massage So, I massaged Simon after the show and he said that Roger wanted a massage the next day at 6pm, You know I was there early, with bells on, so to speak. Simon brought me to Roger's room to set up and get prepared for when Roger returned from Golfing. It was the first warm and sunny day in ages in Berlin, great for Golfing. Funny how so many rock stars go Golfing in Berlin (Alice Cooper is one of many).

The TV was on and the first game of the World Cup was on. Germany vs Costa Rica (Germany won that game  4 – 2 by the way).  Roger arrived and was in a great mood. He remembered me and was really sweet. I started his massage with my special invention (started doing it when I was 5 years old on my mom) the Bite Method massage. He was keeping one eye on the game most of the time and he loved the massage. I was paid in advance for 90 minutes but I massaged him for 2 and a half hours ( I was making it last as long as possible 🙂

We had some small talk, I usually don't speak during a massage, but we had tiny breaks to have a sip of water etc, and I asked him why he has never done "Across the Universe" live. He didnt recall ever doing that song and I  said "I have it on video, you and Andy Fairweather Lowe on guitar". "ah yes", then he remembered. He said that he never thought about doing it live, but hey, if he ever does, feel free to thank me. He does an AMAZING version of that song.  I asked him about the gorgeous turquoise/silver ring on his right hand. He said he has had it on since 1969. He banged it once and it bent and he can't get it off. I found that to be really cute. By the way, no need to ask me "Did you ask him if Pink Floyd will ever get back together" because I would NEVER fucking ask him that stupid question. Don't ask Sting about the Police; Eric about Cream and don't ask Roger about Pink Floyd, it's insulting and fucking annoying.

I love his work with Pink Floyd but  I also love all of his solo albums, so we talked about those instead. I asked him why there is no dvd for the Pro's and Con's tour, He said they didn't video tape that tour or Radio Kaos tour either. I find that VERY unfortunate. I own the "In the Flesh" dvd, it's from Roger's 2002 solor tour, it has Doyle Bramhall on guitar and it fucking ROCKS!!!! If you don't have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have two copies, one for my NYC place and one for my Berlin place. Can't be without that. Doyle isn't on this tour, he is cheating on Roger with Eric Clapton (so all is forgiven). Clapton played the night before here in Berlin, so Roger and Doyle were up most of the night chatting and having a drink or two. Roger waited as long as he could for Eric to return from a recording studio, but he had to hit the hay eventually and they missed eachother by minutes. Clapton played guitar on Rogers Pro's and Cons of Hitchhiking album, oh GOD, it's AMAZING!!!

Note: I asked Roger (as I do every musician I massage) what he thought of Zappa. He said " I used to hang around Frank a lot in the 60's and even stay at his house for a long while, and ended up breaking Suzy Cream-cheese's heart, unforunately." He almost forgot about jamming with Frank until I reminded him. He said "are you sure?" Yes, I am very very sure:

Pink Floyd jamming with Frank Zappa  ^

      < THE ring

Rubbing Roger's feet ( me= happy)

Roger said, even though there was no live footage for the Pros and Cons tour, he had JUST received a dvd the day before of never before seen videos he made back in the day for the Pros and Cons Album, Radio Kaos and even Amused to Death ("What God wants, God gets" with Jeff Beck on Guitar).

He said "after the massage you can see them if you like". Uh, ya think? YAY! He set up the videos on his lap top for me to watch and put the head phones on me and headed for the shower. I sat there for almost 30 minutes with my jaw open, one constant "WOW". The videos he made simply MUST be released. I told him all of his fans would buy them. He seemed open for comments/feedback. Looking into his eyes is so exciting, I am still smiling. Bad news is, he is engaged and very much in love. I told him I find that to be a pain in the ass and extremely unfair. He is ALWAYS taken. I told him him it's not fair and he should give other girls, like me for example a chance. He just grinned, never said a word when I was talking that shit. I did tell him his ass was in GREAT shape and he is still HOT. Again, just a grin 🙂

Face the facts,  I have the balls to say what you want to say, it's as simple as that. heh heh. Jasmine didn't make it to school that day (day after the show), we both slept until 2pm (already has those rock star habits). I wrote her yet another rock and roll excuse note "sorry, Roger Waters was in town". The last one was "Zappa plays Zappa was in town". Her home room teacher smiled and said "Jasmine, you are lucky I am your homeroom teacher. Tell your Mom I am jealous".

She made an incredible portrait of Roger and I brought it for him to sign. He was really flattered and signed it "To Jasmine, love Roger". She is gloating.

 ^ This is now one of my favorite photographs. He is smiling at me. Not the camera. I can die peacefully now.

  

Click HERE to see Roger Waters tour dates!