I celebrated my "30th" birthday (again 🙂 at Tonic in NYC KARAOKE!! (me, Chrissi, Catherine W. and Jonesy, not pictured, too)
Santiego, from "hand of god" Argentina. He is a drummer in a rock band, he hung with us for a while. Pretty dude eh?
So NYC is cold again. We were lucky and had a couple SUPER warm days, but the leg warmers went back on today, omfg. FREEZIN'. I went for my MRI the other day of left knee and will go Monday to ORTHO Doc to have him analyze it and tell me which surgery I will need. NOT looking forward to that!
So I had to buy a new Mac, the latest one they have, Snow Leopard program, goes SUPER FAST, it's like butter!! Still keeping old one though, one can never have too many Mac Book Pros!! They truly are the best. I bought a new one as the old one had a keyboard issue and I THOUGHT I would have to go without it for a week but APPLE called 18 hours after I dropped off old one for repairs saying it was ready for pick up. DAM those folks are good. But as I said, this new one is miles faster. I JUST need to learn how to use iMovies and I will be happy.
Been spending LOTS of time with Jasmine since I have been back and that is always a good thing. So strange, when I am in Berlin I feel at home there and don't want to leave. Same thing happens when I am here in NYC. BUT then my heart yearns to live in England, it always has and always will. I know it is expensive and dangerous too, but I just love England. Perhaps the grass is always greener and I wouldn't like it if I lived there. Last time I massaged Simon Cowell, it was in Birmingham and I told him I would love to just move there and stay and he freaked out and said "Good Lord Dot, not there, London is the place for you!". ha.
"Chasing Amy" is on TV. Great movie. This film made my ex EXTREMELY uncomfortable, guess it hit too close to home (about a guy dating a HOT chick and his best friend being bitchy and trying to break them up, turns out his friend is secretly in love with him) heh heh.
NYC is still fun and there is karaoke every single night in more than one place but I don't like to go out more than once a week (if that). Dealing with drunks is just annoying. Got a Spinning bike and treadmill at my flat now and weights (who needs to join a gym?). Plus I have more than enough writing to do. At the end of the day (which for me is around 5 or 6 am) I am so exhausted from answering emails that I never get around to writing the books I want to write (& Blog) and have to REALLY dig deep to find the time to write my sex columns (I LOVE helping folks but turning all the Q & A's into a tidy column is not as easy as you may think).
Trying out something new- writing this while on new spin bike- working ok so far. Just hate sitting still for too long, which is a problem as most of my work is done online coordinating massages and answering people's love/relationship/sex questions. LOTS of time on ass in front of computer and I hate it.
Gota go, sweating is NOT good for the new Mac.. by the way, how HOT is Madonna lately? SCHWING! You go girl!!
ps. Follow me on twitter, I write on there much more often than here as I can do so anywhere:
I hope I look fit like Madonna ^ when I am 50. Holy crap!
Lenny Kravitz is in town (Berlin) hope he wants a massage tomorrow before or after his show. LOVE his drummer Cindy, she is my favorite part of the band (hey, love the band, but Cindy fucking RAWKS!). I heard Lenny quit smoking; good thing as FINALLY the smoking ban has swept over Berlin. YAY!!!
Just as I was about to move to NYC permanently, they enforce a smoking ban…hmmmm, makes Berlin hard to leave. That, and the grumpy look on the Berliner's faces was what made me hate it here, but if I can go out and return home without blood red eyes, hair, clothes, purse and shoes FUMING of cigarette smoke, it's actually great here. The grumpy attitude; well that takes getting used to. When the sun shines, folks do smile..too bad it rarely shines here lol.
Spending WAY too much online lately, but obviously not blogging properly..instead, I am organizing massages for several rock bands that are currently touring. This takes A LOT of coordinating; never knew I would get into logistics like my ol' buddy Alan Dunn of the Stones. Gotta be on the ball for such things. "Hi, my name is Dot. I am a work-o-holic" Funny, it doesn't seem like work, I love it. yay!
Looky here ^ That's Emma. She is now a Dr. Dot assistant in Melbourne, Australia. So now I have Denise and Emma sorting out my clients down under. I be pimpin'
Read what Emma has to say about herself and if you are down under or heading there and want a seriously KICK ASS massage, email me.
"Hi, I’m Emma and I am based in Melbourne, Australia having recently immigrated from the UK. My passions in life are people, travel, music and massage. I have been massaging my way around the world for many years now and I love what I do. When I heard about Dr Dot, I was very keen to be part of her growing team. I have been brought up around music from a young age. My mum is a massive Rolling Stones and Zeppelin fan so this was a great musical education to grow up with. My sister and I have been regulars at gigs and festivals from our teens. After a successful audition with Roddy in London – he described my massage as ‘world class’ – I was honoured to be asked to be part of the Dr Dot team.
I have ITEC diplomas in Holistic Massage, Indian Head Massage and Pregnancy Massage and went onto learn Soft Tissue Release (STR) and Deep Tissue Massage with the London School of Sports Massage (LSSM). Experience and specialist training has taught me what clients expect from a massage treatment, and consequently what clients need and deserve. I feel confident that I offer the highest standard of massage due to the professional manner in which treatments are delivered, in terms of skill, knowledge and understanding. My massage style combines fluid and soothing techniques using great strength resulting in an extremely pleasurable experience. You'll feel a deep sense of relaxation whilst I effectively treat your aches and pains simultaneously. My clients frequently tell me that it is the best massage they have ever experienced.
I have massaged my way all over the world, including working winter seasons in both the French Alps and UTAH in the USA. Massaging in ski resorts is a great way to gain varied experience and work with injuries commonly associated with winter sports. I have also worked in the Greek Islands during the summer months as a massage therapist at a watersports and sailing club.
I am looking forward to working with Dr Dot’s clients as part of her team in Australia."
Tejano Album: "Before the Next Teardrop Falls," Little Joe & La Familia.
Norteno Album: "Detalles Y Emociones," Los Tigres Del Norte.
Banda Album: "Te Va A Gustar," El Chapo. Traditional Folk Album: "Dirt Farmer," Levon Helm.
Contemporary Folk/Americana Album: "Washington Square Serenade," Steve Earle.
Native American Music Album: "Totemic Flute Chants," Johnny Whitehorse.
Hawaiian Music Album: "Treasures of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar," Various Artists, Daniel Ho, George Kahumoku Jr., Paul Konwiser & Wayne Wong, producers.
Zydeco or Cajun Music Album: "Live! Worldwide," Terrance Simien & The Zydeco Experience. Reggae: "Mind Control," Stephen Marley.
Traditional World Music Album: "African Spirit," Soweto Gospel Choir. Contemporary World Music Album: "Djin Djin," Angelique Kidjo.
Polka Album: "Come Share the Wine," Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra.
Gospel Performance: "Blessed & Highly Favored," The Clark Sisters; "Never Gonna Break My Faith," Aretha Franklin & Mary J. Blige (Featuring The Harlem Boys Choir).
(Tie.) Gospel Song: "Blessed & Highly Favored," Karen Clark-Sheard, songwriter (The Clark Sisters).
Rock or Rap Gospel Album: "Before the Daylight's Shot," Ashley Cleveland.
Pop/Contemporary Gospel Album: "A Deeper Level," Israel and New Breed.
Southern, Country or Bluegrass Gospel Album: "Salt of the Earth," Ricky Skaggs & The Whites.
Traditional Gospel Album: "Live — One Last Time," The Clark Sisters.
Contemporary R&B Gospel Album: "Free to Worship," Fred Hammond.
Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: Love (The Beatles) George Martin & Giles Martin, producers (Apple Records/Capitol Records).
Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Ratatouille," Michael Giacchino, composer. Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Love You I Do (From Dreamgirls)," Siedah Garrett & Henry Krieger, songwriters (Jennifer Hudson).
Musical Show Album: "Spring Awakening," Duncan Sheik, producer; Duncan Sheik, composer; Steven Sater, lyricist (Original Broadway Cast With Jonathan Groff, Lea Michele & Others).
Musical Album for Children: "A Green and Red Christmas," The Muppets.
Spoken Word: "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream," Barack Obama.
Spoken Word Album for Children: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," Jim Dale.
Comedy Album: "The Distant Future," Flight of the Conchords.
Instrumental Composition: "Cerulean Skies," Maria Schneider, composer (Maria Schneider Orchestra). Instrumental Arrangement: "In a Silent Way," Vince Mendoza, arranger (Joe Zawinul).
Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s): "I'm Gonna Live Till I Die," John Clayton, arranger (Queen Latifah).
Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "Beauty & Crime," Tchad Blake, Cameron Craig, Emery Dobyns & Jimmy Hogarth, engineers (Suzanne Vega).
Surround Sound: "Love," Paul Hicks, surround mix engineer; Tim Young, surround mastering engineer; George Martin & Giles Martin, surround producers (The Beatles).
Classical Album: "Tower: Made in America," Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Tim Handley, producer; Tim Handley, engineer/mixer (Nashville Symphony).
Orchestral Performance: "Tower: Made in America," Leonard Slatkin, conductor (Nashville Symphony). Producer of the Year, Classical: Judith Sherman.
Engineered Album, Classical: "Grechaninov: Passion Week," John Newton, engineer (Charles Bruffy, Phoenix Bach Choir & Kansas City Chorale).
Opera Recording: "Humperdinck: Hansel & Gretel," Sir Charles Mackerras, conductor; Rebecca Evans, Jane Henschel & Jennifer Larmore; Brian Couzens, producer (Sarah Coppen, Diana Montague & Sarah Tynan; New London Children's Choir; Philharmonia Orchestra).
Choral Performance: "Brahms: Ein Deutsches Requiem," Simon Rattle, conductor; Simon Halsey, chorus master (Thomas Quasthoff & Dorothea Roschmann; Rundfunkchor Berlin; Berliner Philharmoniker).
Chamber Music Performance: "Strange Imaginary Animals," Eighth Blackbird.
Small Ensemble Performance: "Stravinsky: Apollo, Concerto in D; Prokofiev: 20 Visions Fugitives," Yuri Bashmet, conductor; Moscow Soloists. Classical Vocal Performance: "Lorraine Hunt Lieberson Sings Peter Lieberson: Neruda Songs," Lorraine Hunt Lieberson (James Levine; Boston Symphony Orchestra).
Classical Contemporary Composition: "Made in America," Joan Tower (Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Nashville Symphony Orchestra).
Classical Crossover Album: "A Love Supreme: The Legacy of John Coltrane," Turtle Island Quartet.
Short Form Music Video: "God's Gonna Cut You Down," Johnny Cash.
Long Form Music Video: "The Confessions Tour," Madonna.
Recording Package: "Cassadaga," Zachary Nipper, art director (Bright Eyes). Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: "What It Is!: Funky Soul and Rare Grooves (1967-1977)," Masaki Koike, art director.
Album Notes: "John Work, III: Recording Black Culture," Bruce Nemerov, album notes writer.
Historical Album: "The Live Wire — Woody Guthrie in Performance 1949," Nora Guthrie & Jorge Arevalo Mateus, compilation producers; Jamie Howarth, Steve Rosenthal, Warren Russell-Smith & Dr. Kevin Short, mastering engineers (Woody Guthrie).
These are questions sent to me per email. This is NOT me just randomly speaking/writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many people have written to me thinking the question below was about me; written by me. HELLO! Can't they READ!? DOH!
Next week I turn 40, a pretty major milestone. I have gone through my life so far and failed to find a good man. All the men I have been involved with have mostly turned out to be wasters or assholes. I look around at my friends and most are happily married, or divorced and resettled with a partner. I am attractive, and look young for my age (fitness instructor) but I just attract assholes. I am depressed that I am as old as I am and have no reliable man in my life. It seems to me that love is like a sale, if you turn up late all the good stuff is gone. Most guys that try to hit on me are sleazy with no class; they would not make a good partner. I guess what I am asking have I left it too late? What about having kids? It feels like there is so little time left. I want to come home to somebody; I don't want to end up 70 rocking away on my own by the fire. I am too old to play games.
^ Madonna was hot at age 40 (& still is)
40 is not old. Realize your main goal. Is it mostly having a child or a man? If it is, there are many ways of getting pregnant to get that part underway. I am wondering where you meet these sleazy assholes and how you dress. The environment you hang out in and the way you dress tend to dictate what kind of men you attract. We have the advantage of adjusting our selves according to what mood we are in. Example given, if you are horny and just want a fuck, you can go out to a local bar wearing a short shirt, low cut shirt and lots of make up to give off the "I’m in heat" vibe. The next day, you could wear a long skirt, decent top and hang out in a cafe and give off a very non sexual vibe. Be the partner you wish to attract; as in, if you want a sporty guy, put yourself in a sporty atmosphere and so on. Finding a partner online is now a common thing but you have to be very specific as to what you want. "Good looking mature woman seeks grounded man to start a family with". No need to beat around the bush when you feel you are running out of time. You can find love at any age, but having kids may make you feel pressured by your bio clock. Trying to help you without know where you live, what your financial status is (you could always buy an egg later on) is a bit difficult but all in all, Birthdays tend to bring anyone over 30 down for a month or two but don't fret, many people have kids over 40 (or adopt) and you can find love at every age. Who says it has to be a man that will make you happy anyways? Chin up girl, you are still younger than Madonna.
Q. Why are woman attracted to "bad boys"? What are they doing that attracts woman? And what’s the best sexual position that a couple could use if the woman is trying to get the deepest penetration?
Wee Little Willy
There is something irresistible about tough guys
A. "Bad boys" don't go out of their way to be bad. They just don't give a shit. They don't call and thank the woman for the great sex; they don't call when they say they will call; they flirt when they are out on a date with other girls; they cheat, lie, steal, ridicule and are just plain insensitive. They attract women with low self esteem, who subconsciously feel they deserve to be treated badly (probably because one or both of their parents, namely DAD, wasn't there or didn't give a fuck). Doggy Style will make your tiny cock seem like an Anaconda if you can keep it hard, that is.
Q. OMFG! I was going down on my girlfriend, and she was loving it, we where almost 20 minutes into it then she pulled my head and said "you gotta stop or I’m gonna shit on myself"!, and I asked her if she was serious and she said she was, and we ended it, but I wanted to know is could that really happen? How common is that? Scared Shitless
A. If you fuck/suck after having an Indian or Mexican dinner, it can happen. She may have felt a fart coming on, but wasn't sure; but like she said, it's best that you got the hell out of there when you did. I used to hang around with the British Soldiers in Berlin (we all make mistakes) and I saw many guys shit themselves while and/or after drinking. One of my friends told me that while fucking her drunken ex-boyfriend, she realized that he shit himself and it got all over them and the bed. So alcohol usually contributes to shitty situations. Avoid eating a few hours before sex so the bowels remain empty. And, once you eat, a lot of your blood goes to your stomach for digestion, leaving your genitals short on blood supply. You can get off better when you are tad hungry and all the blood can engorge your naughty parts and there will be less, well, shit going on.
Q. I'm in my early 30s and I've been messing around with this MILF for the last month, we rarely use protection (I know it's not wise), really she's more like a GILF, because she'll be 60 in a few months, but anyway she recently informed me that she might be pregnant, there's a lot of problems that I have with her telling ME that, but one of the questions that pops in my mind is, isn't she too old to conceive a child? I mean how likely is that that a woman her age can get pregnant? Aren't her eggs to old? Granny Shagger
A. It's as about as likely as finding a snowball in hell. I think she may be enjoying a bit of wishful thinking. Some Hollywood stars get pregnant around age 50 (Geena Davis or Marcia Cross for example) but it's because they are artificially inseminated with someone else’s egg fertilized by their man's sperm (or anyone's sperm). But this procedure cost an enormous chunk of change that I doubt your horny GILF has stashed in her coffee can. Once a woman stops having her period, she can't get pregnant anymore. Have you ever asked her about her period? Has she ever mentioned it? Don't panic just yet.
Q. I need help! It’s been a year since my lady of 15 years dumped me and moved away. I can't move on! I’ve tried everything! Riding my bike, making art, fixing up my place going to shows drinking so much I fucked up my liver (I’m sober now.) I can't sleep. Sometimes I'm up for 3 days straight even though I exercise and take sleeping pills. I’m a normal horny straight 36 year old with modest needs but I can't seem to meet anybody or get back in the saddle. My roomates gay and he offered to set me but I’m hetro. It's been 15 years! I don't how to talk to women! Dumb right. I’m confused, lonely and really have lost my will to live. I love my ex but she ain’t comin' back. Should I focus on work and just chill? I know this column is usually for sex talk and such but I was hoping you might have advice on matters of the heart. How I can forget and just say "fuck it!" and move on. I even started doing graffiti again just to get a rush and a high but I’m to fuckin' to old to be tagging! Buried Alive in the Blues
A. I feel you, but we ALL have to have our heart broken once and to break someone's heart once in order for love to really work out. We have all been there, where life doesn't seem like living anymore and no one else can compare. The good news is, life does go one and time does heal ALL wounds. Go on and have a good long cry and write down the good things about her and the bad things about her then tear it up and throw it away. Have a long bath, long jog or walk and concentrate on making your body nice and healthy.
If you are happy in your job and where you live, your body and health should be your main focus. If you hate your job and your home, maybe it's time for a whole new life; a big change. Maybe you can move and start over. You are still younger than Brad Pitt for fuck’s sake. Stop wallowing in your self pity; we have ALL had this shit happen to us. There are people all over the world with worse problems. Concentrate on the positive things, like your age, health, freedom, etc.
Try not to listen to your gay room mate; most gays aren't specialists on giving a hetero man pep talks on how to meet women! They prefer to try and convince you to turn gay instead.
Don't try to forget her, just remember the good times and learn from any mistakes that were made. You haven't really lost anyone unless they are dead. Listen to some Frank Zappa and he will help you see it's not such a big deal, particularly the song "Broken Hearts are for Assholes". This will shed some light on the subject and help you move on with a smile.
I met a guy but I am being warned off by my friend for an odd reason. He is cool smart and wicked hot. My friend said I shouldn't go out with him because he is a redhead. She has told me a lot of rumors about them. She says they are more promiscuous and that they have a wild temper. She also said that they are extremely stubborn. She had a redhead who was a good kisser but he was always in trouble and was unpredictable and crazy. So far this guy has been pretty cool but what my friend said is bothering me. He does have an interesting personality he is either loud and entertaining or really quiet and it changes on a dime. I like that about him but does it mean he’s insane? Or is my friend trying to sabotage it? She seems to like him as well.
Riding Little Red in the Hood
< I'd hit it
A. She’s had “a” red head and now she’s an expert? And since when is “Unpredictable” a bad trait? Do you want a boring, predictable push over that follows a certain routine? Perhaps you should get a cat, not a man. Red heads tend to have a temper due to all the harassment they get at school for being different, but it's shallow and ignorant to say they are the more promiscuous than blonde or brunette men. That's like saying Blondes are stupid. I say try him out and tell your friend to calm the fuck down. Besides, all that pent up frustration and temper comes out nicely in bed.
Q. I’m a 60 yr. old single man but look about 15 to 20 years younger; women I meet just assume I’m younger and I’m in the entertainment field, should I tell them or just let them assume since I am in a very vain business working or in social scenes? I use to own my own adult party club for almost 20 years and it really was an alternative lifestyle for me since naked was the code of dress and seeing sexual acts was the norm. I became so jaded that only threesomes, two bi-women and me or anal sex seems to appeal to me, I have been on the sidelines so to speak for a couple of years and about to come into windfall of money! I feel that my sexual attitude will work against me in trying to meet a single lady who is not into my sexual views. What is your take on this? Hef Wannabe
A. You have two different issues to address here: your age and your sexual appetite. Lets talk about your age first. Even if you are chatting up women 20 or even 30 years younger than you, I really doubt they would bring up the topic of age. Even a woman half your age is at that point where women don't like talking about their age, so you have that to your advantage. If they ask you your age, they know you will be asking theirs and we don't want that so you are pretty much in the clear. If they come straight out and ask, they are probably too ignorant to fuck anyways and/or you could answer then with a snappy: "I am younger than Mick Jagger" or "Old enough to know what I'm doing" or something coy like that. Don't lie about your age, just answer the question with a question and a smile on your face. Age doesn't matter. Charm and manners matter. Secondly, many men would love threesomes, anal and to at least take part in one orgy, but not all women have the same wild sexual views/aspirations that you have being the naughty sex connoisseur that you are. You have seen and done it all and have a tiny sexual attention span. Women over 35 are usually at their sexual peak and open for experimenting. I wouldn't exactly request a threesome on the first date; slowly show your freaky side to new women you meet. No need to lie or pretend, just avoid telling them everything up front (your erotic film career etc). Telling them you work in the film industry would suffice at first. At your age, using your wealth as an asset to lure women isn't tacky, it's just reality; everyone uses what they have (looks/giant genitals/money/power) if they need to, but showing all your cards too quickly could attract gold diggers, but if you don't mind, then you really have nothing to worry about. Embrace your dirty old man era with gusto.
Q. Just yesterday me and my boyfriend had sex (I was a virgin). We both had fun but there were a few things I was wondering about. He didn't exactly "Pop my cherry" which worries me slightly because it kinda hurt when he was going in but I didn’t bleed and neither of us ended up cumming. We tried two different positions for about an hour. He said from what he has read it only takes about 5 minutes. I may be new at this, but that sounds like rush hour traffic to me. Help, Sandra Dee.
A. Sometimes it takes women years to figure out how to orgasm. He may have not cum because (1) He was nervous (2) He already wanked his dick raw before meeting up with you. Popping one's cherry isn't a giant bloody production like you imagine. The Hymen is a fold of mucous membrane up there that is easily ripped once you have been penetrated. Some girls bleed and others don’t. Some break theirs if they shove a tampon up there too violently. You may want to buy some lube and use a tiny bit on your clam to ease entry pain. It may hurt but the longer he spends on foreplay, the more he gets your juices flowing, which makes penetration easier. Before you can expect to cum with a partner, you have to figure out how to make yourself cum, which I have written about many times already, just find my Ask Dr. Dot archives online.
Q. I’m 30yrs old and for the last few years I've had a craving for older women, I think it’s more like a fetish, because I have relationships with women my age, the older women are not just 5 or 10 years older their 20or 30 yrs older then me, when I’m shopping for escorts 90% of the time I’m looking for milfs, one of my questions over the phone are"whos the oldest one you have"?….I want to know where can this have stemmed from?…and can this get out of control?…I mean the other day I saw that a re-run of the Golden Girls was on, and stop and masturbated to it. Gilf Hunter
A. I call this the Harold and Maude syndrome. If you haven't seen this cult film yet, please do. Perhaps when you were young, your Grandmother, or another older lady Showed you love and more attention than anyone else; this could have sparked your infatuation with Granny types. The fact that it's so taboo may be a turn on as well as the fact that older women really know what they are doing and what they want. I’ve always craved younger men; we all have our preferences. Maybe it turns you on knowing older women get excited over young flesh? The possibilities are endless and I don't think it's a negative fetish, I think its fine. Any fetish that doesn't include children, animals, money, drugs or murder is fine in my eyes.