RIP Michael, hope you get the peace you deserve 🙁
… they both come on tiny white crackers
This is the magazine I have been writing for the last 6 years. They have my sex column "Ask Dr. Dot" in it every issue. The last page is mine. Sometimes I write other pieces for the mag, like this recent (just hit newsstands Sept 1st 2008) issue. I interviewed my friend Joe Jackson. It hurts my feelings (boo fucking hoo) that my name wasn't credited on the cover, like most magazines do when you land the cover story/interview. But I guess the Exberliner does things differently. My sex column was voted the Best Column in the Exberliner and now to have landed the cover story thrills me, even though name didn't land on cover. Oh well, you can't have it all 😉
I HATE this part below "Sexy Sex-columnist Dr. Dot". Joe also hates it. He said "sounds like I was coming over to your place for a shag!"
grrrrrrrrr! You never have complete control when you are being written about or even if you are the writer, it's all up to the editors. Hope you like the interview anyways
I am not surprised that I am ill now. It's so great here in Germany, if you are ill, you call the Doctor, 24 hours a day, and they come to your house within 90 minutes. If you have insurance, it cost nothing, if you don't, it's like $80. Who has time to wait in a Doctors office anyways? I was told I have Bronchitis again (it never goes away, it lingers in your lungs if you have had pneumonia and it scars the tissue in your lungs). If your immune system is down (for example, if you have stress from people stabbing you in the back) you are bound to have a Bronchitis flare up. AND since I had my tonsils removed last September, when I get a sore throat, it happens further down and in German it's called Seitenstrangangina or some shit like that, it's not good! I am on antibiotics again and trying to rest. UGH!!
I don't smoke, barely ever have a glass of wine, eat fruti and veggies and still end up ill. Not fair. I see the old men when I pass the bar on my corner (it's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) and wonder how they manager to drink every day/night and still survive? wot? Anyhow, starting to pack for my trip to NYC and I tell you, it is hard to leave Berlin. I have FINALLY fallen in love with the place. I will be spending MUCH more time in NYC now that Jasmine is going to school there, so I feel like I am leaving Berlin for good, but I will still keep a flat here. Berlin is fucking cool (wish they would smile more and quit smoking heh heh).
Joe Jackson gave me the rare honor of interviewing him for the Exberliner magazine (September issue). He is very private and keeps to himself, hates the limelight, so I feel very privilaged. Joe is so fucking cool and he never even tries to be. Did I mention his favorite group is the Beatles and Frank Zappa? We get a long great, apart from his view on smoking. He is PRO and I am very CON. ha ha. Oh well, no two folks have the same point of view on everything, thank God, otherwise the world would be so boring.
I feel kind of good now that Lisa, the traitor is getting what she deserves; a big fat fine to pay and every manager/roadie/rock star/promoter in my address book knows of her stunt and will not be hiring her. Tsk tsk, don't bite the generous hand that teaches/feeds you.
On a different note….
My Dad just sent me a funny email, check it out:
Unsuccessful German Restaurants:
Dolph & Eva's Secret Garden
Reich's Chris Steakhouse
Burgermeister & Jerry's
Speaking of Joe Jackson, look at this video he made about Berlin. He is so witty.
(don't be fooled by the sun in that ^ video, it's not sunny here lol)
I think he should have his own travel show. I love the way he words things. Sometimes he tells me of his travels, whilst on tour, and the way he describes things makes me feel like I am there with him, looking at what he his talking about. The smells, sights, moods of the people. Very descriptive and informative. He doesn't take any pictures though, as he "isn't a photographer". He is so modest, low key, understated, fucking cool but without trying at ALL.
It's gray, cold and moist out, again, here in Berlin. And I have to think that maybe one of my neighbors may have read my blog about no one listening to any hippie music as I woke up at 5pm (yikes) and someone was blasting Janis Joplin's Pearl album. Ha! Nice one! Love it. Perhaps I will go karaoke tonight and sing me some Janis. aaaaaaaaah. Love her.
Joe is one of my favorite massage clients AND friends. He lives in Berlin since about 1 1/2 years now and usually comes over once a week (when I am in town) for a massage. I have been massaging him for many years now and I have never even hinted around for an autograph or a picture, as I know he is extremely shy and private and hates the whole fame hoopla. He is so interesting AND his two favorite bands are the Beatles and Frank Zappa, so we get along JUST FINE.
We've walked together to my favorite Zappa bar here in Berlin a couple times, where the Zappa fans were trying to hide any star struck feelings. Joe is so fun to talk to and his shows are outrageously good. The last tour he did a marvelous cover of "Girl" by the Beatles and "Dirty Love" by Frank Zappa. AMAZING.
We sometimes argue about smoking though, heh heh, as he knows I loathe cigarettes and he is so pro-smoking he even wrote a pamphlet about it, which you can download from his web site: www.joejackson.com
He is about to embark on a world wide tour, so if he is heading to your area, try to see his show, you won't regret it.
Wed 02/27/08 Cardiff, UK The Point
Fri 02/29/08 Dublin, IRE Olympia Theatre
Sun 03/02/08 London, UK Shepherds Bush Empire
Tue 03/04/08 Paris, FRA La Cigale
Wed 03/05/08 Brussels, BEL Ancienne Belgique
Fri 03/07/08 Amsterdam, NET Paradiso
Sat 03/08/08 Amsterdam, NET Paradiso
Mon 03/10/08 Hamburg, GER Fabrik Hamburg
Tue 03/11/08 Berlin, GER Schillertheater
Thu 03/13/08 Mainz, GER Phonixhalle
Fri 03/14/08 Zurich, SWI Kaufleuten
Sun 03/16/08 Milan, ITA Teatro Smeraldo
Tue 03/18/08 Trento, ITA Auditorium
Wed 03/19/08 Rome, ITA Rome Auditorium
Sat 03/22/08 Vienna, AS Birdland
Tue 03/25/08 Tel Aviv, ISR Zappa Club
Wed 03/26/08 Tel Aviv, ISR Hangar 11
Tue 04/01/08 Toronto, ON Music Hall Theatre
Wed 04/02/08 Montreal, QC Metropolis
Fri 04/04/08 Glenside, PA Keswick Theatre
Sat 04/05/08 Northampton, MA Calvin Theater
Mon 04/07/08 Somerville, MA Somerville Theatre
Wed 04/09/08 Red Bank, NJ Count Basie Theatre
Thu 04/10/08 Washington, DC 9:30 Club
Sat 04/12/08 Kingston, NY Ulster Performing Arts Center
Tue 04/15/08 New York, NY Apollo Theater
Wed 04/16/08 New York, NY Town Hall
Sat 04/19/08 Homestead, PA Carnegie Library Music Hall
Sun 04/20/08 Ann Arbor, MI Michigan Theater
Mon 04/21/08 Milwaukee, WI Pabst Theater
Wed 04/23/08 Chicago, IL Vic Theatre
Thu 04/24/08 Chicago, IL Vic Theatre
Sat 04/26/08 Atlanta, GA Variety Playhouse
Mon 04/28/08 Austin, TX Paramount Theatre
Tue 04/29/08 Dallas, TX Palladium Ballroom
Thu 05/01/08 Boulder, CO Boulder Theater
Sun 05/04/08 Seattle, WA Moore Theatre
Mon 05/05/08 Vancouver, BC Chan Centre For The Perf. Arts
Tue 05/06/08 Portland, OR Aladdin Theater
Sat 05/10/08 Redwood City, CA Fox Theatre
Sun 05/11/08 San Diego, CA Humphrey's Concerts By The Bay
Tue 05/13/08 Los Angeles, CA Orpheum Theatre
Tue 05/20/08 South Bank, AUS Brisbane Convention Centre
Thu 05/22/08 Sydney, AUS State Theatre
Fri 05/23/08 Sydney, AUS State Theatre
Sun 05/25/08 Melbourne, AUS Town Hall
Tue 05/27/08 Adelaide, AUS TBA
Fri 05/30/08 Perth, AUS Riverside Theatre
As you can see from the date on the backstage pass below, I have been really busy. So busy, a month has gone and I haven't blogged properly. I've felt full, like when you eat too much, but my head is the full bit; full of blogs (full of shit?), so I am up, blogging, when I should be sleeping, to get rid of all this info rolling around my mind.
Have you seen "Bruce Almighty" with Jim Carey? How the prayers build up and distract him? That's how it is if I don't write. It gets too loud and chaotic in my head.
Rather embarrassed to say, that I think the whole tonsil operation was a mistake. I thought, since the Doctors told me, they have to come out, meant, having them out would cure everything and I'd feel perfect. Seems now that instead of getting a sore throat, it just goes deeper (any infection) to the lungs. I have another lung infection (well, Berlin mostly heats with nasty COAL, so the air here is like a whore's heart; dirty, really cold and moist.
I went out Thanksgiving night (will blog about THAT asap) and have been basically in bed since. I have a lot to catch up on, so..moving right along….
Peter, the tour manager of Rod Stewart is a mate of mine, even though I haven't seen him since the Jeff Beck show. He had me come to the Max Schmeling Halle in Berlin to set up and offer massages at my first ever Rod Stewart show. I can't believe I hadn't seen him live since that night. I was waaay into Rod before I even had any pubic hair. I thought he was the sexiest mother fucker on earth, and I didn't even really have a grasp yet what sexy was. Hearing him made me tingle inside; I was a fan. I mean, I've always loved Zappa and the Beatles, but Rod and Mick Jagger, were objects of my desire…tsk tsk. Watching Rod on TV sing "do ya think I'm sexy" turned me into a horn dog, ditto with Mick singing "Start me up" on Mtv. I admit it, go ahead and laugh.
SET LIST ^
I massaged the band and several roadies as well. One, named Bruce, was about 6 foot 8 inches tall, hung out with me and watched the show after his massage. He's been on the road with Rod for years and years. Big sweet heart.
Bruce, Rod's loyal carpenter/roadie ^
One of the back up singers was 7 months pregnant, but I only noticed it towards the end of the show. I gave her a foot massage for free after the show, as a tiny gift. Rod takes really good care of his crew, band and managers. I heard it's the plushest tour one can be on, as in, one day off in between every show, which is fucking great if you are touring. The catering was the fucking bomb too. These folks got it good 😉
;Rod put on a fantastic show. It was funny as hell to see so many German men dressed up like Rod in the first few rows. Extreme fans who donned his hair color/cut and the same style of clothing too.
;Still charming and handsome after all those years..and that voice. Oooh la-la.
I didn't get a picture with Rod, sadly. He "gets bored hanging about backstage" as his manager Lars told me, so he leaves the venue the second the show is over. I was lucky enough, though, to get a signed Football (ok, soccer ball for the yanks) from him 🙂
After the show, a friend and I went to a birthday party I was invited to from my girlfriend Betty Deluxe (not pictured).
If you click HERE you can see Betty in action on stage recently, dressed in blue, dancing on stage with Mika. I have no idea why I didn't snap any shots of the birthday girl…probably because she was so surrounded by her gay friends, I couldn't get a picture of her even if I tried 😉
ANYWAYS, two of my other friends were there. Barbara Schoeneberger, who is Germany's cutest, funniest and SMARTEST TV moderator and Andre' Rival, my favorite photographer.
I just went to Youtube and searched "Barbara Schoeneberger" and was pleasantly surprised when I found a video of me on her talk show at the top of the page:
This interview took place in 2000, when she had a show called "Blondes Gift" which means "Blond poison" in German. I was wearing head to toe RUBBER. Sweating my ass off. lol. Anyways, I LOVE Barbara. She is fucking gorgeous, loves younger men, has ridiculously beautiful breasts and is smart as a fucking whip. Her show was called Blond Poison because she normally ripped her guests a second asshole. She is cheeky as, well, me. We got along perfect, so she was really nice to me; plus, why be mean when I am massaging your feet, right?
< yum yum, two's better than one
After a couple glasses of wine, well, Barbara and I get kinda friendly. Andre' Rival took this shot of us, he was in heaven.
Look how cute she is! She is not only a HUGE TV star, she sings too and is going on tour very soon. Click HERE to see her web site and hear her voice.
Andre' ^ has taken LOADS of pictures of me. I posed naked for him for his book (naked celebrities under his oak tree) which was a first for me (well, apart from the body painting thingy). He is so fucking funny, I call him the Woody Allen of Photography. He has photographed so many presidents and stars, he is probably Germany's best photographer. Love him (and his wife too). She is also a photographer and was there at the party too, but she is rather shy.
Andre', Olaf Hajek (famous illustrator) and Barbara. What great night. Berlin can be so fun sometimes. I run into people I know whenever I leave the house, guess I know more people here then I do in the US. Well, I know a lot of folks there too but they are so spread out you know?
I recently went to London to massage one of my favorite clients of all time, Simon Cowell. Let me tell you, the man does NOT count pennies. He goes ALL out and spoils everyone around him. Almost all rich people I know, are penny pinchers, tight wads, but not Simon. He is THE BIG SPENDER. He is hands down, the most generous client/star I have ever massaged. My flight, hotel, all my food, room service, etc was all paid (I never even see the bill) and there was a mercedes car with driver waiting outside for me whenever I wanted to go anywhere. Business class flight too. Simon insists on the best. He fucking RULES!
Simon fucking RULES! ^
< My hotel
I was put up in the Baglioni hotel in London, directly across from Hyde park. I was being nosy and asked the front desk how much my suite cost and they said "500 pounds per day Madam". Daaam. I am not snobby, could have stayed at a cheaper place, but hey, I won't say no. When I checked in the room wasn't ready yet (I got there at 10am). So I sat at the bar and worked on my lap top and the manager there asked me if I was there for the Who. eh? No, why? The Who were having a party in my hotel that night for their new dvd they just released. You won't believe this, but I missed the party. I massaged Simon from 10 pm to 12 midnight and when I got back, the party was over. LONDON bores the FUCK out of this night owl. WTF!!????
< Across from my hotel
I have to think of the Stones song 'Street Fighting Man'
"But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
cause in sleepy london town
Theres just no place for a street fighting man
SLEEPY LONDON TOWN indeed! No wonder my mate Joe Jackson moved to Berlin from London. Not only is smoking banned (which I love) BUT, you can't go out after MIDNIGHT! There is NOTHING open. Ok, there are a few cheesy, and I mean CHEESY night clubs with crappy pop/techno music and people who are dying to be important, but they too close at 2 am. HOWEVER, I did find a and I mean A, as in, the ONLY restaurant that is open 24 hours a day called "Vingt-Quatre" on 325 Fulham road. I have been there a couple years ago when I was in town for Sting at Live 8. They serve everything and it's great quality. Expensive as fuck, but I don't mind. I gladly give out big bucks for good food anytime. Don't give a toss about designer clothes, jewelry or cars, but food and music, now they are important to me.
< Nice folks I met at the 24 hour place
Anyways, I didn't see much of London, as I slept all day, jogged, ate, massaged Simon, then there was nothing open after. Great. But I earned WELL and got treated like a fucking queen, AGAIN, from Simon and his assistant Ali. I am extremely grateful. Love you Simon! Anyone who talks shit about Simon, simply hasn't met him. He is a fucking gentleman; a sweet heart with a massive sense of humor.
I feel ok now, got a lot off my mind, going to the lung doctor AGAIN. I leave for NYC again in a couple weeks.."start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' today, I want to be a part of it, New York, New York" yeah baby!
Sooooooooooooo, back in Berlin. The flight, as predicted, killed my ears and throat. Whine ,whine, whine. I know. Since I have been back, I have been going to bed at 7pm and getting up at 6 am. Can't seem to stop this insanity, but I am sure once I get better and go for a late night of karaoke, this early morning crap will be cured. I sit here for hours working online, thinking to myself, what do people do this early in the morning? I feel like I have too much time on my hands and all of my friends are still sleeping.
Simon, of American Idol/X-Factor Fame has been in touch and I will hopefully be massaging him again soon. Ditto with Joe Jackson, Harry Connick Jr. and Rod Stewart and his entourage. Finally Harry will be able to get a massage from me personally. He has been using my team for ages but has yet to meet the Doctor. He even spoke about my team on stage one night on his tour, saying how much he loves Dr. Dot's massage team. He will freak when he gets a massage from me, he ain't seen nothin' yet
The guilt of not blogging has been rather strong, sorry about that. I went to my local Ear, Nose, Throat doctor yesterday here in Berlin, just to see how things were in my throat and hear a different opinion and this Berliner bases Doctor freaked out when she looked in my throat, thus spreading panic into me. She said (all in German of course) that the Americans butchered me, that there is still lots of left over tissue he (my USA based ENT Dr. ) "forgot" and that I am bound to have many more tonsil related problems as there is still left over tonsils lurking about in my throat. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, when I told her I was home 2 hours after the operation, she turned a nice shade of maroon with rage. She didn't believe me and when I convinced her she was still irate and slagging off the American health care routines. She told me in Germany you have to stay "AT LEAST" one week in the hospital after such an operation. Not so in the USA, where they ask you to leave as soon as you wake from the anesthesia. Buh Bye they say as they shove you out the door…. "don't call us, we will call you".
The pro's and con's between the USA and Germany have been taunting me for 18+ years now, I am a Libra and have trouble making up my mind about every thing, so this is driving me batty. "Should I stay or should I go now?" runs through my head all the time. So afraid of making the wrong choice, that I make none and continue to live two lives, spreading myself thin. Naturally there are pro's to this situation, otherwise I wouldn't keep doing it. Hard to get bored if you keep moving "I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old" a quote from a very underrated Tom Petty..
So before I left, as you may know, I went to see Steve Vai and had fun hanging out with him. Somehow we got to talking about Farts, as you do, and he said "Farts are like God's little joke on us". So I went online and ordered him a fart machine. I sent it express mail up to Christin, my friend and also the worlds biggest Vai fan. They are pals, Steve always makes time for her, so she is not just a fan. Anyways, they met at a local Starbucks in Boston before the show, and she gave him my fart machine.
Steve & Christin ^ – Steve opening my Fart Machine
Anyways, Jasmine returns tomorrow from Italy (she has been studying Italian in Bologna). I can't wait to give her mad hugs and kisses, yay!
Gotta run, things to do..ttyl