NYC/BERLIN/MANCHESTER blog

 

Taking a step back now, back to December, in NYC. I know, it's taking me ages to blog lately,
but I have a lot of things going on, lots to juggle indeed. NYC was amazing;  it's still my
favorite place on earth. 
I filmed my Ask Dr. Dot column for an internet radio show but who knows if that will ever take
off or not.  People come to me daily with "great ideas" on how to make me rich/famous, get my
 books and ideas out there. They all talk SHIT!
It was good practice, as now I am  thinking of how to make a Pod cast for my column. Only thing
holding me back is the fact that I would have to spend even MORE time online (my poor ass
doesn't want to be sat on that much). I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it.
You get the picture.

  < Rite Aide

Even though NYC is one of the BEST places on earth to go out and party, my friends and I try to
find healthy, fun things to do instead of always hanging out in bars doing karaoke and shaking our
asses. Rite Aide and CVS are open 24/7 and so you can shop whenever you fucking want to without
anyone rushing, pushing, nagging, etc. We end up in these places very often and well, we like to spice
things up by pushing the envelope. My ass needed some air, so I let her out and started a trend amongst
my pals. It was a big rush of adrenaline, seeing how far we could REALLY go without getting caught/arrested
for indecent exposure.

My Gay friend Danny and I raise extreme amounts of hell, and we don't even need alcohol

to do so. We are naturally high. We had to ask a stranger to take these pics, he wanted some

cash in the end and we were like "ok, check's in the mail fuck face".

 

 

Our mutual pal MAX shot this tiny video in Rite Aide on New Years Eve. Well, it was actually

in the wee hours of New Years Day come to think of it. NAUGHTY!

This was really CHEEKY! ^  I am on a bench, in front of the Hoboken Town Hall, and in front of their Nativity

scene. Tsk Tsk, what a disrespectful wench.

 ^ Ok, that plunger idea was mine. Too bad he kept his undies on 馃檨

It's REALLY fun riding in those carts; the place was packed so this shot was difficult to pull off without many

people seeing the ASS.

Funny thing is, I met Danny AGES ago in a Rite Aide, buying a stupid amount of Cotton Balls at 4am. Long story.

My friend FET made this Thong with the Wind movie poster, that's what friends are for 馃檪


Daryl is my NYC massage rep. She runs the show in that area when I am away. I trust her BIG TIME,
she is so incredibly honest and ambitious and amazing at what she does. I now have 3 reps on my
team, Daryl, Catherine (Baltimore) and Roddy (London). They work their way up to that position
and it means they are extremely dependable and trust worthy and basically the best at what they do.
That guy there in the pic, Don, is a myspace friend. Sometimes when I know I will be in a certain
area, I post a bulletin and say "lets RAWK! Let's karaoke!" and I meet some of my myspace pals.
Don is a really cool dude. We all went to some cheesy Asian karaoke bar cause my favorite place,
IGGY's (upper East Side) didn't have it that night, the night I ask all my myspace friends to come
sing with me if they can (Normally they have it 7 nights a week but
they didn't that night so I was flappin'!)

Daryl and her "friend" who looks like Tiger Woods. Daryl can sing her ASS off, I was amazed!!!!!  People come up to

that guy and ask for his freakin' autograph on a regular basis. He REALLY looks just like him, it's bananas.

Even though Iggy's was closed the one night, it didn't stop me from going back. I LOVE that place, it is a fucking freak show!

This one guy brings his freakin' Chinchillas in there while people sing wicked loud (karaoke). I let them crawl all over me

(not the guests, the Chinchillas). After touching those little critters, I have to loathe anyone who wears that kind of fur. MEAN!


I got to see one of my best pals,  Jonesy and his gal Barbara at one of my favorite restaurants "44X10".
It's called that cause it's ON 44th and 10th. It's fucking LOVELY, the food, the service, the drinks,
the staff. PLUS you can park free on 10th ave after 7pm. What more could you want?
And of course, it's NON smoking, which is heaven on earth for me. Jasmine and one of her best pal's
Rachel joined us: those girls!! Also pictured above, Mechel and I and her pal (Mechel is the one wearing
the skull & cross bone shirt) and you can see Danny lurking in the back ground. He was nervous being
in another "Breeder" bar (as in, not a gay bar), but he survived.

Back in Berlin, Shai, Danielle and I go out and sing from time to time. I usually have to play body guard and shoo the men away, as those

two are too nice. Not the case with me. Heh heh.

Of course the convo usually leads to oral sex and this time they wanted me to show them what I meant ^ (don't ask)

 < Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly

I can't BELIEVE I still have that fucking shirt. I bought it in NYC at Trash and Vaudville in 1984!! No wonder I'm not a millionaire yet,

I gave out a fortune in Beatles and Stones shit over the years. That bastard cost me $80 and I've never worn it.

OK, I massaged Shai, then Alex, then they got crazy on my massage table ^  They are NOT shy.

I went to Manchester, England on Feb 10th. I was so excited to go there and hang with my friends and Vicki
(dressed as a man here) organized me going on a Music related TV show called "Manchester City Social" or
something to that effect. The night I landed was pure chaos. The place I was supposed to stay at, well,
the guy changed his mind and said "not tonight, but tomorrow" which left me in the fucking shit. Vicki
offered me a place to stay at her place, but it's really small and she and her room mate already had guests
staying there and so I had to move my shit to another random renters house, a guy named Keir who was mad
cool, but the room he rented was FAR from dark and quiet like he said it would be, in fact, I doubt a place could
be any fucking LOUDER!.

Anyways, Vick, Will and I went to the party, the party in which women were supposed to dress as old men
and men were supposed to dress as old ladies. Didn't sound very fucking appetizing to me, so I came
dressed normal and luckily didn't get turned away for showing up without a costume. The party was great
and Vicki rapped on the mic, freestyle for what seemed like hours, she is born to entertain and she
is getting her own radio show very soon, and personally, I think she belongs on TV, she is so fucking
funny. She sings and has a song called "Don't fucking touch me on the dance floor!" which I am SURE
would go over very well in the states, as I personally hate dancing in America, as the men think it's
ok to hump you raw on the dance floor, some even sandwich you like a piece of lunch meat.EW, fucking EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sad thing is, they do it cause the girls LET them do it, so they think it's ok to do that to every
snatch they see. Wrong fucking answer.

    <  Too much touching on the dance floor

 

As you can see, most dressed up for the party.

^ Vicki's breast made a special appearance



This is at a bar called Siam Orchid Lounge (Portland ave). It has karaoke 7 nights a week!! So basically, it's the Iggy's of Manchester. Lots of rowdy fucking

red necks (but the Mancunian accent makes them kewl). It takes for FUCKING HOURS to sing here, so bring lots of time and money

as it's also very expensive. I suggest drinking at home, then going here and drinking water. Their wine SUCKS ASS (screw off cap). It's

great for karaoke, but the food and drinks here bite, get my drift? It's a karaoke-whore hang out. I found it horrifying that they didn't have ONE

James Brown song in their song book. WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you kidding me? Bring your own karaoke cd's to be on the safe side. heh heh.

ps. It's smoky as FUCK in every bar/pub/restaurant in the UK. I can hardly wait for the smoking ban. Amen.

^ Pauline went and washed off that make up and took down her hair. I didn't even recognize her at first. She is a

KNOCK OUT! (she is from Scotland and her accent is so charming, oh LORD!)

Another myspace mate of mine, Jed. He helped me with my bags, helped me get the hell out of Manchester. I

left in a hurry as the guy who found the last place I stayed at seemed to think it was ok to ring my door bell for hours,

sneak into the building and bang on my door for ages and follow me down the street even when I said I don't want

to talk to him, so in some sense,  he was stalking me. I am a drama magnet. Holy FUCK!

Vicki and I went out after I filmed that TV show and we ate at a place called  Wagamama.

It quickly became my favorite place to eat in Manchester. I ate there several times.

Yummy as HELL!


 

< Video I made of that expensive HOLE I stated in
 

 

A tiny video I made of that OVER PRICED shit hole I stayed in for 5 nights (it was 300 pound for 5
nights, which is like $600 and it isn't even a hotel, it's a flat that has no internet, mold in the
bathroom and pubic hairs all over the bed. Fucking EW!!!!!!
The bar above, Churchills, is on Canal Street, the gayest street in the UK, which the fags nick named
"Anal Treat" (they altered the sign, so instead of Canal Street it's ANAL TREAT). Anyhow, even hetro's
hang on this street as it's hoppin' 7 nights a week and Churchills has karaoke tues. thurs and sunday
nights. Vick and I went in there and the Lesbo's were really into my leather pants.
One even started waltzing with me in the ladies room. I belted out some James Brown and I have to say,
the sound is the best in that town for karaoke. Loved it there. Their song book is a foot thick,
they have it ALL.
Overall, I found Manchester to be EXTREMELY expensive. I had to drag my lap top to Starbucks every day
and pay 5 pounds an hour to check my emails. A cup of coffee is like 3 pounds ($6) and to ring a friend
on a cell phone, it usually cost about 4 pounds for a quick chat. I don't see how English people survive.
Sure I know a lot of stars, a lot of rich folks, but the normal people I hung with were so broke, they
couldn't PAY attention,  I mean NO ONE has ANY money there, no one! Really sad situation.

The Germans better fucking count their blessings (6 weeks paid vacation per year,6 weeks of paid Sick Days,
cheap health insurance etc) as the English have it HARD compared to how cushy it is in Germany. I bet the
UK will fall to pieces if they fall prey to converting to the Euro. I doubt they could survive that blow.

Also, the streets and shops and bars are dirty there (Manchester). Litter everywhere and even the canals
were loaded with trash, it was fucking nasty. Sorry, but I have to be honest here.I didn't see ANY grass at
all, barely any trees and it stunk like garbage.
A great town to go party if  you are rich, but there is a lot of fighting there as well, very hostile drunks
 there (and I mean the WOMEN!). Yes, The women, well, they need to put some fucking clothes on, and no,
I am not being prude, I mean most are so fucking chubby and ugly and yet wear things 8 times too small
for them and they parade  around the streets like that in the FREEZING, wet weather. No matter if it's snowing,
raining, freezing, they refuse to wear coats, they want to make it as EASY as possible for the men to look
at their bodies.

I can't understand why 95% of the people there walk around without a coat on, are they numb? Dumb? Drunk?
Afraid of losing their precious coats? Can't afford one? Or all of the above? Please, fill me in on this,
so I can peel my jaw off the floor. Call Jerry Springer, he needs to have a Manchester based show.

Now I know exactly where they got the inspiration for the popular UK comics THE FAT SLAGS from!!

Some crazy fucks floating around that town I tell ya and I was MADLY disappointed at the lack of rock and roll.
Everywhere I went I heard shitty "music". I was shocked as I thought great music came from that area. I
was hoping to at least hear some Oasis, Happy Mondays or James or so, but no, just cheesy bubble gum
techno shite that would make the Spice Girls sound like Led Zepp!
Next time I go there, I will do massive research as to where to REALLY go for some good music. The TV
show I was on had 3 amazing acts on it, I couldn't believe my ears. So I know there is talent there,
but where they fuck do they play/hide?

I guess it's the same in every major city, if you hang out in the tourist center of town, you will get CHEESE.

 

 

 

Me at a tiny English bus stop ^                      and a tiny video I made of the country side ^

On my 7th day there, I decided it was time to escape. I was thinking of staying 2 weeks but the place
I was staying at fell prey to a stalker and it was getting so expensive, the whole trip cost me more
than 1000 POUNDS (that's $2,000) and for what?
I still don't know the answer to that. A very special friend of mine came and rescued me, he drove me
to the South of England, near Gloucester and I got to see the lovely country side (Prince William lives
a mile from there). THIS is the side of England I love, countryside, fresh air, polite folks, no litter,
rolling hills of green, cute pubs and loads of land to walk around on, undisturbed. I guess I prefer the
country side over the big cities. The ONLY big city I love is NYC, litter and all.

 "There's no place like home"

(but where is home? "Home is where the heart is. On the bus")