Bitchfest (my band) played a tiny gig last night in Strausberg, Germany. Click HERE to see the place. It's called Ku-Stall. Used to be a cow farm, where they bread, slaughtered cows I guess. The backstage area was nicer than where we usually play (White Trash in Berlin). We were treated soooo well. The area reminded me a lot of where I went to hgih school for my 11th & 12th grade (Ellington & Rockville CT). Farms everywhere, fresh air, everyone knows each other and they are bored out of their fucking heads so they all drink like there's no tomorrow each weekend.
Vitri and Danielle workin' the MIC ^
< Vitri backstage
Keeping warm before the show..
It took us an hour to drive there. We had a fucking blast. This was my first show since having my tonsils removed, it's been two months exactly. It did affect my singing, my throat felt dry really fast and well, I think it will take a bit longer to heal before my pipes are in perfect working condition again. Anyhow, we got some footage of our rehearsal (above ) and some silly pics from backstage.
We were joking how tidy we kept the dressing room and how we weren't drinking until after the show. How easy it must be for touring rock stars to slip into taking drugs due to the fucking boredom of waiting backstage for the show to begin.. glad I'm not a rock star 😉
Vitri is so light, I can carry her around and not even notice
It's embarrassing how much time has passed since I met and massaged Jeff Beck and I am just now blogging about it. I think it was 8 weeks ago?
Nevertheless, he is fresh in my mind. Jeff is SO FUCKING FUNNY, he could just hang up the guitar and do comedy, but his main passion, I found out, is restoring old
cars, working on them, making them gorgeous… I think he LOVES music, but just does it still to support his car hobby 🙂
The man hasn't an arrogant bone in his body, so polite and humble, so real, so fucking cool! I was in heaven that day, sun was shining, Jeff Beck on guitar, Vinnie Colaiuta on drums, the band was amazing. Buddy guy opened and I could HEAR him play through the open window in the dressing room (it was an outside gig at little castle) but I couldn't see him as I was busy massaging Jeff and Vinnie. I know Vinnie from his days with Zappa and then later, Sting. Vinnie is hysterical as well, so my face hurt from laughing the next day.
Jeff told me a lot of funny things that happened to him in his life and about his relationship with Roger Waters, who I had just massaged recently as well. Roger is a HUGE Jeff BECK fan and he "felt honored" to have Jeff play on his 'Amused to Death' album. A LOT of people want to hire Jeff, but he is simply too busy and sometimes can't be bothered. He does what he wants and when he wants it, but is never arrogant about. I have heard first hand that he was chosen to be the next Rolling Stone after Brian Jones died but just never hung around for the audition. He just didn't give a shit. It's an amazing balance he has, being that confident but not at all arrogant, one that I have seldom come across in show biz. I doubt he has any enemies, they all love him and want him to play with their band, but Jeff is hard to get, just naturally, not a calculated hard to get, if you know what I mean.
The show was predominately male (ladies, keep that in mind, if you want to meet COOL men with great taste in music, go see ANY Zappa tribute band, Steve Vai and/or
Jeff Beck in concert, you can have your pick!). Jeff's show was only instrumental. He said sometimes he has some woman on tour with him singing (forget her name)
and she sounds ike Janis. Of course when I heard that I sang him a few bars of Bobby McGee and told him I am for hire (heh heh).
I stood in front of the stage watching him in awe and my friend was chatting a bit to me (not loudly) about something that had just happened in the crowd and a
Jeff Beck fan screamed "How the FUCK can you talk during a Jeff Beck guitar solo!????". Nuff said.
Vinnie warming up backstage I didn't realize my new camera was on 'video mode' ^ *DOH!*
VInnie is So adorable, so fucking fun! Last time I saw him was when he was on tour with Sting, and I think that was 9 years ago. He and Terri Bozzio are the best drummers around (yes, I LOVE John Bonham, I am talking living drummers). Vinnie doesn't even know how many fans he has. He just plays, He is so straight now, no booze, no smoking, just music and that's it. Sooner or later the rockers realize they have to get and stay healthy if they want to remain in the strenuous rock and roll circus and that includes getting a massage whenever possible. They know when I am around, they are in for extreme deep tissue and they know I will make they cry like babies. They love it. My massage team is known for it's brutal capabilities and we have been labeled the 'Pit Bulls of Massage'. Music to my ears *sigh*.
If you want to hear Vinnie on a great Frank Zappa cd, just get "Joe's Garage" and you will see why he is so sought after….
< when he toured with Sting
After the show, Jeff and I were standing in the production office and he was pouring very expensive champagne into my glass
and my friends glass too (Jeff is SUPER generous!). We were just shooting the breeze and telling jokes when a German security guard came up to
us and since she knows me (I am rather known here in Berlin) she looked and us both and said "well, there are many fans out side and they want to know
how long you will be back here" and before anyone had a chance to say anything I belted out "tell them I am busy and they will have to wait".
Jeff and I both burst out laughing. That's the kind of humor Jeff has, not stiff at all, he loves a good laugh. Love him!
^ Jeff's reaction when he found out where the 'Cosmopolitain' drink was made famous
After the show my friend (male friend by the way) and I were invited by Jeff to join them all on the bus (don't make a fuss, just get on the bus) for
some "special" drink that Jeff likes to make everyone. Of course we came along happily, it's not every day, nor every year Jeff invites you for some bevy's.
We were all cracking up and exchanging stories, and Jeff played bar tender. He was so excited to mix this drink for me, one he thought I had never heard of before.
He handed it to me and said "this, my dear, is called a "Cosmopolitan". Now, any girl who was hooked on "Sex and the City" like I was has heard of that drink years ago.
I was like "uh, Jeff, that drink was made famous on Sex and the City". He was like "eh?" . He had never seen it. I explained that it's a show that had 4 women on it and they always talked about men and went out and drank that drink. He went "WOT!??? I've been making and drinking a GIRLS DRINK!???" The whole bus roared with laughter.
Vinnie wanted a foot massage on the bus, so I gave him one. He made faces and noises like I've never seen before. I said "you sound like me the first time I had anal sex"
Again, the bus was hysterical. I am telling you this lot knows how to laugh, even the bus driver was hilarious. If you see Jeff Beck heading to a town near you,
it will be worth every penny to go see him, he is the BOMB!!!!
Moving right along. I got a new camera, as you can see and I am trying out the video options as often as possible.
This is a view from my favorite town in the USA, Hoboken. Hoboken is better than NYC because it is only 5 minutes away from NYC
yet still clean, safe, cheaper, friendlier, etc. I just LOVE that place… I walk down the street and I seem to know everyone and vice versa.
I love that small town feeling, but I have to have the big city at hand, and as you can see from that video, it's REALLY at hand..
Jet lagged as FUCK in Hoboken ^
ps. Flying back and forth is killing me. You can't bring any lip stick, lotion, powder, tooth paste, you can't bring FUCK ALL on the plane anymore, which makes my Pet Peeve, flying, even worse now. They do sell, however, expensive as FUCK lotion etc, on board, how convenient, those wankers! Yeah, you Hetro men won't have a clue what I'm on about but us ladies/queers know, we need lotion and chap stick at least or we dry up like raisins. I put some lotion into a condom, tied it into a knot and crammed it up my, yeah, there. You have to be smarter than the average bear to make things happen. So I had my lotion! heh heh.
Adam (fuck you Adam for saying I "SUCK" cause I was busy heh heh and MECHEL, a girl who totally understands me and thinks the same way I do about men.
I didn't have much time to play recently in NYC but I did manage to see some of my friends….
Danny ^ who is one of my few Gay friends. I can't tolerate most Gays, they are so catty to me about my big tits *MEOW*!!!, but Danny is great!
I think he looks like Wil Farrel, don't you?
Eike drove ALL the way from Hamburg to Berlin to play as our (BITCHFEST ) opening act last Wednesday. He
didn't earn much but was not whining about it, he played like a PRO! We will do a song together, the man has talent.
Click HERE to see Eike's myspace page…
Eike is a MAD Frank Zappa fan, like me, so it was so fun to hang! I gave him a Project Object shirt
that was too big for me…. This is my "Dangerous Kitchen" by the way ^
This was our official 2nd show as BITCHFEST. What pissed me off is the FUCKING FOG. Here it's not too bad
but at some points I couldn't (1) Breath (2) see the audience or my band. WTF!??????
For me the BEST part of the show was watching Jasmine climb up on stage and then crowd surf. Then, during
Back in Black, I did as well. This was my first time crowd surfing and it was fucking FUN! I will do this from now
on. How often does one see a daughter, then the Mom crowd surf at the same show? It was fucking hilarious.
I had to have a word with the German crowd though, as at first the crowd surfing didn't work. Jasmine and her friends
were just let down, as in, dropped. I was like "hello, you're supposed to catch and carry the bodies, not stand there and sip
your drinks and laugh". They finally got the hang of it and it was marvelous. The sound man made a crappy video and sound
recording and when I figure out how to up load it, i will post it. You can see Jasmine surf and then me for a bit too).
A back view of BITCHFEST –unfortunately, none of our drummer, Sansi, this time 🙁
From left to right, Vitri (back up vocals, Chrisi (drummers girlfriend, me and Danielle, back up vocals ^
Dr. Cock likes to draw cartoons, this one is of He and I ^ My friend Martin^ (Aussi) and some unknown dude backstage
Um, after the show, we had fun with my camera… don't ask.^
Dot welcomes audience
You really Got me < Back up singers come on stage
Heart Breaker < Back up singers
Dirty Deeds < Back up Singers (leave stage After Dirty Deeds)
Dot introduces band
Highway to hell
*Back up singers come back on stage, Dot introduces them
Piece of my Heart < Back up singers
Back in Black < Back up Singers
BAND LEAVES STAGE
SANSI (drummer) COMES BACK ALONE FIRST AND DOES:
(whole band comes out now)
Whole Lotta Love
Twist and Shout < Back up singers come and sing and twist/dance
Our set list ^
I have known "Fricky" since 1992. He is really strange, an artist. He let me draw the Zappa stache on him, yes! ^
Danielle, me and Sarah (she is from Sweden) partied ALL night after the BITCHFEST show…..
THIMO my guitarist will cheat on us this Wednesday 🙂 ^
Check him out, he ROCKS!!!!!
< The newspaper the next day, after the BITCHFEST show….
< BB is the KING!
I saw BB KING live this past Thursday. It was one of the best show's I have ever seen. He almost had me in tears
when he told the crowd he would never be passing through this town again, as he is "80, almost 81 years old" and his health
isn't the greatest. I had to literally swallow my tears. He was so charming and funny how he told the crowd so many tiny stories and
his voice, Jesus, even if he didn't play a mean guitar, I would pay to just hear the man sing. BB, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
We did LOADS of publicity stuff for our first gig in Berlin. Lot's of TV spots (some were dumb, they had me massage random people on the street in front of the club) but hey, sometimes you have to sing for your supper. That's Enno on the right. He is almost impossible to photograph, moves around so much.
Funny thing is, Sansi ^ (guy with hat and sun glasses) is our drummer, but they had him play guitar for this one TV spot. Sansi doing what he does best at our gig ^
; < I was surprised how packed our gig was
From left to right ^ Vitri, Enno, me, Frank (bass), Sansi (hidden) and Thimo on guitar. ^Me with sexy groupies/dancers. I was singing Highway to Hell
The first two rows were just press. They stayed the WHOLE show. I poured a whole bottle of water over my head. I was like "fuck it, I'm wet anyways, let's just go for it".
I started with a Frank Zappa t-shirt ^ (this was made by a friend called Ines especially for me) then I changed into a Motorhead shirt that Phil (from Motorhead) gave me. I ripped it up right before show time. Then at the end of the show I put an Aerosmith shirt on, that was customized by Ines. I decided to just sing barefoot the whole time and I was afraid of getting electrocuted since I poured all that water on my head and there were wires and cables all around my feet, but hey, I'm still alive.
See that cutie in the shiny black rubber skirt? That is Vitri, my back up singer. Jasmine in the crowd ^ watching me belt out some Janis
< From L to R: Enno, Vitri, me, Thimo
^ The girls in action ^ ANOTHER change of clothes (fuck, I'm worse than Cher!
Not sure if you saw our Flyer but we had a Groupie Application form on the back. Jaeger Meister saw our flyer, found the idea amazing and said they will watch our show and they want to see how we do the Groupie competition. So what started out as just a joke, actually turned into a real Groupie contest. I had some of the girls come on stage and show their stuff. Literally. Our drummer, Sansi, got a lap dance while he played.
Christy came from far away to be there, I was really grateful. ^She shared her tattoo with the crowd and they went WILD!
^ Shai and Danielle were part of the groupie game, and made the after show party in our dressing room a men magnet.^ Christy with her brews
< Um, this fella LOVES feet.
I gave Danielle (who danced for me in our version of HOT LEGS) a nice foot rub after the show ^
I have been to WELL over 3,000 shows so far and I have to say, our dressing room party was one of the best I have ever seen. Not just saying that, it really ROCKED! It was packed until 6:30 am!! A few famous German actors popped in and there were loads of Brits raising HELL all night long. The venue is called "White Trash" and they loved us so much they asked us to play once a month starting in September. Bitchfest will play the first Wednesday of every month from Sept 6th on. I will be doing A LOT of flying back and forth from NYC to Berlin from now on.
< Finally some male groupies for us!
Like I said, our dressing room was PACKED! These lads kept pounding the SHIT out of the ceiling all night, singing soccer chants (yay!)
I have written a few songs for Bitchfest. I am good with words, but can't get a melody going. I guess I am too intimidated by my musical heros. I mean, how the fuck can you top
"the long and winding road"? . I come up with lyrics everyday, then send them to my band, and then they put them to melodies. Here is one song I wrote called "Adios Hedgehog" let me know what you think about it. I feel with a name like BITCHFEST I am allowed to vent and bitch in my songs if I want. We are not the Bay City Rollers ok?
Hey Mr. Bait and Switch, you psycho son of a bitch,
you are shorter than me, that just won't do. Only thing you could do was massage and screw,
and that's just 'cause I taught you to.
Only takes the girls weeks to escape from you. Locking them in your house just
won't do. I hope when you hear this song you start to shake and bite what's left
of your nails, get nervous like you do.
I'm glad it's over, finally sober, not drunk on your lies anymore
This parting has surely inspired, you say there are ten men
at my door? Send one home, I'm tired
Your music bores, so save your pennies for the whores. Such a fibber,
pretentious Indian giver,
Remember this sound: What goes around, comes around, you vicious little troll.
Goodbye insecure tiny scammer, I hope they toss you in the slammer"
Move on shorty, it's over, won't take your stalkin' anymore
This parting has surely inspired, you say there are ten men at my door?
Send one home, I'm tired
A few days after my gig, I got into the Football mood (soccer for you yanks) and went out partying big time. I passed by this bar on Oreinienburger strasse in Berlin
and saw everyone toking off this massive pipe and had a go. It's NOT grass, it's scented tobacco so I spat it out right away, ew! It is a very popular thing here to toke for hours off of these
"Shisha" pipes, the bars and cafes hand them out, it does smell better than cigarettes.
John from Belfast, me, and Rory enjoy a crowded as FUCK Ku'damm after German just won a world cup game. Here were are again raising hell ^
Christy took this ^ shot of me spitting off a very high balcony at Tacheles < click to see picture
Next day Christy and I headed to Fan Mile to watch England play against Portugal ^ (photo taken by Rory)
We were GUTTED when England lost. I feel they had no chance with an Argentinian ref, but what's done is done. We got TONS of shit from German fans the
rest of the night. They were hissing and boooing at us and telling us "Englanders" to go home. Even though we aren't English, I still got defensive at the seemingly
racial tension going on. One guy even tried to start a fight over our English shirts. 'Hello, calm the fuck down', was my attitude for the rest of the weekend to say the least.
Rory's photo of me supporting England ^ the final world cup game when Italy won ^
^ Rory took some amazing pictures of the whole world cup Berliner scene, thanks for letting me use them for my blog 🙂