Ask Dr. Dot June 2010 ( Sex, Love and Relationship advice)

Please feel free to send me your questions, I always change the names around, so your secret is safe with me: drdot@drdot.com 

 

 


Q.


I think I am experiencing the 7-year itch 4 years too soon. I feel like this happens to me in every long-term
relationship I’ve been in! At about 2 yrs into I’m just not that attracted to the guy as much, but the love is still very much there. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but my sex drive is almost nonexistent these days!
I just don't understand. He is the most attractive man to me that I have been with; I love his body and our sex is amazing! In fact, I never had an orgasm until we had sex when I was 20! So, I knew he was the one for me.
But, now I’m just not interested. I never take it like I use to. Am I depressed? I just don't get it. Does this mean the relationship has run its course? I know I haven’t been happy at my day job and I have been thinking about just quitting to purse my modeling career.
It's just risky making a career move, you know? I have a lot on my plate so I have been hoping my lack of sex drive is because I am a workaholic. But, that’s not good either… sooo confused!!!
Fickle Francine

 

 



A.

You are only 22. THAT is why you feel that itch. You are too young to settle down and you are at the perfect age to experiment with career moves. Take a chance, we only live one time. This is not a dress rehearsal. The older you get the harder it is to make changes and take chances. In my opinion it is extremely difficult to keep the passion alive after a few years, you really have to work at it that's why I think sleeping in separate bedrooms or living near each other instead of with each other are good ideas to keep the flame alive. Perhaps you could try pulling away for a while, taking a break to concentrate on your career and see what happens.
If it is true love and meant to be, a break won't matter. A LOT of young girls fall for the first guy that makes them orgasm. They think, "Oh my GOD, this is the ONE! He made me feel like I've never felt before" but if you can make yourself cum; you can get that same physical feeling you get with most partners. Sex is naturally better when you are madly in love with the person but he doesn’t turn you on anymore, you may need to take a breather.
If you are on the birth control pill, an infamous passion killer, look into other forms of birth control like the
nova-ring or condoms.

Q.

What does it mean when a girls clit turns blue and then purple? My girlfriend's clit turned blue and then purple. Freaking out here. Does she have a disease? Did I break it?

Bewildered Bob



A.


When a cock or a clit gets engorged it can turn blue or slightly purple thanks to the blood rush to that area. If it STAYS blue/purple the next day, it means it is bruised. Clit must have had way too much fun the day/night before. Ice it and give it a rest. However, if it STAYS blue/purple it could be caused by an irritation of the vulva, known as Lichen Simplex or a plain ol' yeast infection, if so have her bring it in to her Doctor for a tune up ASAP.

Q.


I have been banging this 23-year-old girl who has the longest
and biggest pussy lips I have ever seen and I am 29.I mean it looks 
like she is giving birth to Mick Jagger, lips first.  

She isn't shy about getting naked and fucking but says she doesn't
like men going down on her. I assume it's because of her enormous trim.
Do lips like those mean she is a whore?
It looks like she's been pounded thousands of times, lots of mileage you know?
I am baffled but petrified to mention it to her.

Curious George
 
 
 
 

A.

Consider it a good thing that vagina's are all slightly different in appearance, smell, taste, etc. Just because her meat curtains happen to be longer than your last girl doesn't mean she is whoring it around. Just because a man has a huge cock doesn't mean HE is whoring it around (although they usually are because of the long line of people wanting a ride.
Labia size is usually hereditary, but is sometimes increased by taking the pill (or any hormones), aging, giving birth or from a ridiculous amount of sex, but having said that, there are many porn stars with tiny flaps, so you can't generalize vajay-jays apart from saying any pussy is better than no pussy, so don't look a gift pussy in the mouth, just be grateful you're getting some.

 Q.

My girlfriend says I'm too big for anal, although she's willing to try. Any tips for making it better for her?
Wonder Willy
 

 


A.

She needs to lie on her back and prepare to do it missionary style. Let her guide your cock with her hand, don't shove it rite in or she will veto the process rite away. Use LOADS of lube and be patient. It will hurt, no doubt about it, but if you start in this position it will hurt a tad less. Better her than me. OUCH!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Q.

Do you think a couple can get back together after a divorce?
It has been 2 years since we divorced and I want her back again. I love her madly. I am not sure if she has moved on or not.
The way I feel right now it would be a miracle if we got
back the way we were. I really do love the girl but the one thing I think may kill that chance is since last May when we separated, I've been with other people since and I don't think she will take that well. I have to tell her the truth though, I can't lie about it. Do you think a girl would care about that or am I being paranoid for no reason?

Hopeful Hans

 
 


A.

Some say it's best not to reheat old soup, but it may work out if you don't marry her again. Try to start fresh, date her and don't ask her what she's been up to + avoid answering her when/if she asks. Just ask her to start fresh and leave the past behind. All that matters is that you still love her. Tell her "I've dated a bit, but could not get over you" and leave it at that. Don't offer any extra information as it may just hurt her and scare her off.

 
 

 
Q.



I am back in the dating game after a nasty marriage/divorce. I feel like a virgin which seems to feel good and bad at the same time. Bars
don't interest me, but pussy sure does, so I am out and about rather often lately. One thing I am dreading, is the question "how many
lovers have you had?" from the ladies (I am a fit 42 year old). You see, my wife was my first ever in bed. I was hers. I did slip up and
nosh a few women during our marriage, but still. I do NOT look good on paper as far as sexual experience goes. Should I lie and make
up a number? Or come clean and tell the ladies I am pretty much boring in bed thanks to lack of experience.



Innocent Ike



 

 

A.



 

One should NEVER answer this annoying (how many partners have you had?) question. You just can't win, so just say 
"not many, as I am very picky" . If they keep nagging you about it, remind them that the past is over and you prefer to 
focus on the present, which is all one really has.

 


Q.


Recently my girlfriends mom found out that our “friendship” has turned into “dating” and now her mom hates me and thinks I converted her daughter into being gay because in the past she's always dated men when actually her daughter had a crush on me and chased me.
Do you think her mom will snap out of it and accept our relationship or dislike me forever? We planned on spending the holidays together (Christmas & New Years) but my g/f thinks it's not a good idea because of her mom, but i think we should go ahead with the plans or else her mom will feel like she has the power to control our relationship and stop us from being together. Help.

Delicious Dike

 

 

 


A.


First of all, the Holidays are extremely over rated and BORING, so if I were you, I would just be sweet as pie and tell your girlfriend "go ahead darling, do what you want to do, I will be fine and entertain myself. I just want you to be happy and have fun" which (1) makes you look like the easy going,
independent, understanding partner (2) gives you free time to do whatever you want during the mundane shopping spree called Christmas. You will save so much money not having to buy her ignorant family gifts and she will SURELY get bored out of her fucking mind and miss you so badly because of
your mellow attitude that she will probably sneak away from the judgmental witch to munch your carpet as often as she can. Do NOT waste any energy trying to please or piss off her family, just keep busy and remain patient and sweet to your girl and she will realize it's more fun to hang with you than a
controlling Mom. The more her Mom bitches, the better you will look to her.  You must be dam fun to divert her attention away from her usual diet of cock, so keep that in mind, chin up and keep smiling.

 

Ask Dr. Dot January 2009

 

This is my Sex/relationship column. I have been writing it for over 6 years. It appears in the Exberliner magazine , Penthouse forum and NY Rock as well. I always change the names around, so feel free to ask me anything and I will answer you personally and it may even make the column

x


Q.
I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
 because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
 him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
 How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
 similar……right now he will not even kiss me.


Beaver Deceiver


 

A.
For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
 (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
 forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
 have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".
 Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
 missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
 you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
 You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
 Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
 will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.

 

Q.
My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my friends that it hurts and
 it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me, says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”.
 I do love him but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast.


Exit Only Alice



A.
Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot because they see porn
stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung.
 His begging for your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock.
 If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and will be gagging for it
all the time. If you’re against it, don’t open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.



Q.


 I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends
are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has
only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out
with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always
exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good
girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe
her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that
I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated
 and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different.
 Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept
 with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night
 asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but
then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That
really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said
 that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the
text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4
 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He
 even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby.
  It's important to that I work these things out with her. What
 am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she
needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that?


Nervously Neil

 


A.


Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do,
or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again!
Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these
clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the
Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby.
You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating
but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and
just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them.
Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the
Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than
busy and hopefully, content.

How to win ANY woman over ^

 


Q.


Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend
 who is the perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats
women perfectly. Over the last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly.
 He attracts moody, selfish women; of course in the beginning they’re nice.
 Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is a very confident,
successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All these
bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because
some of my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course
 being the man he is he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?


Meddling Mary

 

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I am being neutral. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all
men want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is
 what he chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of
the demanding divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath
 or get involved. Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

 


Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

 I started dating a younger guy, he is 26 and I am 30. We decided to see each other occasional for only sexual activities. I really like him because he is a very handsome man. The first time we made love, it took only 2 minutes for him to cum. The second time the same thing and his penis is only about 5 inches long. Why he does cum so quickly??? This doesn't give me a chance to cum too….please answer! but he becomes erect so quickly with me…no problem on that side. PS: It is because his penis is not bigger or he doesn't like me?

 

A.

Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously he likes you a little bit otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you, get your priorities straight.

Q.

 My wife and i have been together since 1989. we were having wild hot sex almost every night . She would always cum a couple of times before i'd fill her up.Then last year i found that i did not feel as horny around her (she looks great and has a firm body) . seems that i always have to be the one to make the first move and if i don't initiate sex then there probably wont be any. I am becoming flustered by always having to be the ONE start the ball rolling and sometimes when were having sex its like ho-hum didely dum .but whats worse is that now my cock hardly ever gets real hard and alot of the time it goes soft long before either of us are pleasured . and the more i thing about the fact that it may go soft … the faster it happens . this has become an obsession with me now . I ve got Viagra from my Doctor but with a small dose my cock still went soft … any ideas on how help me regain my stiffness would be greatly appreciated 

Big Softie

 A.

 Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates the sex. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex, I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way. I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down peoples throats. You have two separate problems, the first being your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each others farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind). Make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride ( tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer (it can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth, where as in Europe, etc, they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard). You two could also try a change of scenery, fucking in the same old bed time after time will make fantasy and passion difficult.

Q.

 Even though it's over between me and my long term boyfriend (7 years) I am still obsessing about him. I always imagine how it looks when he fucks another girl. I put them into every position and worry if she is better in bed than I was for him. I always worry if he still loves me or if we will ever get back together. I wonder about him so much that I can't even sleep anymore. My girlfriends are tired of hearing it, so I am all alone with this problem. If you could just tell me how to get over someone, how to stop thinking about someone, maybe that would help.

Not over him Nat

A.

Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy, get your life back, in other words, get a life.What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating him will not change anything, it will simply waste time. Before my Grandmother, DOT senior died, she told me "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have so cheer up, this isn't a rehearsal, it's the real deal, we only live once.