Ask Dr. Dot July 2009

Feel free to email me your questions. I will change your name to protect your identity and your little secret will stay with me: drdot@drdot.com


Q.
I was wondering if you have a solution for me. I am a
37 year old man, not well hung but know how to use what
I have well and I am very good with my hands and mouth
BUT it bothers me and the women I sleep with that I just
can't seem to get or stay hard. When I beat off, it is fine,
I get hard and I cum, it's all-good. But when it comes time
 to perform for my girls, my member seems to want to nap.
 I don't even stay hard enough to wear a condom and this
scares away most of my prey. Please help me; I am good
looking, eager and very passionate.

Mr. Boooi oinnnng

 

 

A.
It sounds like you may have Erectile Dysfunction. You may
 not like going to a Doctor but you have to see a trained
physician, specifically, an urologist, in order to suss out
what is going down with your cock. You can always try over
 the counter sexual enhancements for men, or if the
Doctor approves it, Viagra. Viagra may make you feel sick
to your stomach and give you headaches but if the Doc gives
you the green light, it may help you in times of need. Not being
able to wear a condom is bad news; please go get your pecker
 checked out. If you are too stubborn to visit a Doctor, they you
will just have to rely on vibrators and your tongue to please your girls.

 

 

 

 

 

Q.
I have recently found a gay boyfriend who I have just started to have
 penetrative sex with.
 I have found that as he penetrates me I loose my erection, and no
amount of masturbation will bring it back while he is inside me.
 
As he doesn't like being penetrated I can’t find out if it is the same for
him, and I don't want to insist incase I loose him. Is this normal or is
there some thing wrong?
 Neither of us knows, as we are both pretty new to this.

Boy Toy Bart

 

A.
Blood rushes to any area of the body that is being stimulated that is
why the penis gets hard when it is being stimulated.
If your ass is being stimulated, the blood goes there, leaving your
cock less blood and making it soft. One may wonder why this isn't
 so in porn. They are taking massive amounts of Viagra in porn to
keep everything hard and full of blood. Everything always seem better
 in the movies, innit?

Q.

My wife could care less if we fuck or not.  She has encouraged me to fuck
 other girls but insists that I tell her before or ASAP after it happens.
 I’ve encouraged her to go out and do the same but made her promise she
 WOULDN'T tell me about it. (I doubt she would shag around)

The other day I told her we needed to pick up some condoms before I went
 out with my friends.  She hit the fucking roof, "So you’re telling me you’re
going out to fuck another woman?!" After some awkward conversation and joking,
we laughed and just left it at that.

Later, whilst shopping, we walked by the “family planning” section and she motioned
 to the condoms but I just ignored it and we kept walking. Seems like I am in
 checkmate. Help.

Bobby Brown

 

 

 

 

A.
When you say, "encouraged" I wonder exactly in what way. Many people say,
 "feel free to fuck around, just give my genitals a break" but they usually don't
mean it. You were just trying to be honest when you mentioned that you needed
to get some condoms but that is being a bit too honest. Do your thing but keep
it out of her sight at all times; as she doesn't want to know for the same reason
you don't want to know. It's just too much information. What one doesn't know
 won't annoy the fuck out of them. If you slip up someday and she catches wind
of any infidelity, you can naturally fall back on the "well, you DID mention I should
fuck around" but try your best to keep it out of sight and mind to protect her
feelings and your balls from being cut off with a kitchen knife.

 

 

Q.

Wow this is embarrassing but here goes. I'm a 38-year-old English bloke here in
Berlin and have been single for five years now. Am well and truly over my last
 relationship – we lived together for three years and she broke my heart – but
now the past is a completely different country; I don't live there anymore.
I have no baggage.

The past few years I've only had the odd one night stand here and there, but to
be perfectly honest I'm not that kind of guy. I've never really enjoyed that sort
of thing anyway and besides I always feel closer, more intimate with someone
that I truly care for. And hopefully vice-versa.

But here's the deal. Right now I just can't seem to get a date for love nor money.
And it's starting to drive me nuts! Is it just the Dead Girls of Berlin Syndrome?

"Maybe it's the water, mama
 Maybe it's the tea
 Maybe it's the way they was raised
 Maybe it's the stuff what they read in the papers
 Keeps them lookin' sorta half in a daze
 Well the dead girls of Berlin
 Why do they act that way?"

I've always found that when I'm not in Germany it's much easier to meet women.
Am I just being too shy? Need more confidence? Could it be the language barrier?

It's not the sort of thing I can discuss with the "guys". So I thought, what the hell
and just ask the Doc. I just want to meet someone, have a happy fulfilling and
best-case scenario, loving relationship.

British Bob


 

 

 

A.

 The bigger the city the more aggressive you have to pursue women simply
 because city folks learn to tune things out in order to keep their sanity. You
have to stand out and take chances. If you chat up 50 women, surely you will
 get at least 5 great dates. So take risks, we only live once, a "nein, danke" or
 "fuck off" won't kill you. Join a yoga class, it will keep you fit and you will be
surrounded by flexible women. You will be out numbered, ditto with a cooking
class or dance class. As far as language being a problem, it should work for you,
 not against you as you are a foreigner, aka "exotic" and any German you learn
will surely be spoken with a cute accent, which should drive the girls mad. No
time to waste, summer is here and the egg surely doesn't go chase the sperm
 not does it?

 


Q.
My guy and I have been together 7 years and I have never let him cum in my mouth
 let alone swallow the stuff. It really makes me wanna gag. To be honest I don't even
 know what his tastes like but before he even thinks about cumming in my mouth I
start making some really funny faces which he says is a huge turn off. I let him cum
in my mouth once, but I just wanted to barf all over him and I opened the car door and
 spit it all out before I could even taste it. I think this phobia might stem from the first
 time a guy came in my mouth. It was a complete surprise and it was the funkiest tasting
 spunk. I like to describe it as seawater but chunkier. I know it would turn my boyfriend
on so much if I would just let him. Do you have any advice on how I can get over this
 little sperm phobia of mine? If I can just get to the point of letting him finish off in my
mouth without making scary faces at him or gag sounds, that would be great. I do want
 to satisfy him but at the same time I was wondering how common is it for a guy to cum
in a girls mouth? Is this something that all girls do for their boyfriends? I think he has
just been watching one too many pornos.

 
Spunkaphobe 

A.
 Swallowing a man's tide shows that you accept him, every drop of him. His sperm is his
 personal liquid gold, their most valuable juice and if you won't swallow it, it's kind of like
 saying "you aren't good enough to swallow" and hence, they get pissed off/disappointed.
If his spunk smells or taste funny to you, it is nature's way of telling you "don't breed with
this fucker" If you are in love, you should want to swallow his spunk (unless it's super
chunk-clam-chowder style, then anyone would understand the resistance. But if you just
can't seem to bring yourself to do so, then tell the guy up front "I will suck you ' till the cows
come home, but I don't swallow. If you have a problem with that, then we will just skip the
whole blow job part of our relationship". This should solve that problem immediately, as most
 men would choose a non-swallow blow-job over no blow-job at all.

BUT if you really want to give it a try, suck his cock, as you do, best to keep tip in your mouth and
firmly rub his cock up and down in rhythm with your mouth and use other hand to cup his
balls gently. When you sense he is ready to shoot his load, try to aim it towards the side of
your mouth then quickly store it in your cheeks like a hamster does all those seeds.

Then, without missing a beat, swallow it bit by bit so you don't choke on it (this is if he is
really paying attention to see if you really swallow it or not), otherwise, if he is all wrapped
up in his orgasm with eyes rolled back in head, in heaven, you can quickly, swiftly and
quietly pour the spunk into your hand then wipe it on the sheets, rug, dog, his pants, what
ever is around. He will never know.


 

Ask Dr. Dot March 27 2009



Q.

Ok, here is my problem. I love women. I love women a lot. Maybe too much. The problem is
that most women can only get me excited one time and one time only. I look at them completely
different as soon as the act is finished. I don't even want to ever talk to them again.
I feel horrible. Like I am a bad person. I am 40 and see no sign of slowing down. Any
idea why I feel this way? Am I a fucking asshole? Am I a freak?
Johnny Apple-seed


A.


I feel the same way sometimes. You aren’t a “bad person” in fact being “fruitful and multiplying”
is what being a man is all about, genetically. I am sure a lot of people feel that way,
maybe not to that extreme, but a tad, it’s just they can’t do much about it, as relationships
and social responsibility renders the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ routine. As long as you are
completely up front with your conquest before you dive in, and they are cool with your motto,
why beat yourself up over it? Maybe someday you will meet your match and fall in love. Hopefully

Ask Dr. Dot January 2009

 

This is my Sex/relationship column. I have been writing it for over 6 years. It appears in the Exberliner magazine , Penthouse forum and NY Rock as well. I always change the names around, so feel free to ask me anything and I will answer you personally and it may even make the column

x


Q.
I cheated on my bf while I was on holiday and he found out. I don’t know why I did it.
My man has been exceptionally good to me. When I was exposed he just called me a slut
and walked off. The next day he came round and demanded to know the details, saying he
could not make up his mind about me till he knew everything. I could not say anything
 because I was crying so much I couldn’t talk. He is glad I admitted to it. Should I tell
 him all about how it happened? How can I get him to stay with me? I need him in my life.
 How long will it take for us to work this over? Should I buy him a present or something
 similar……right now he will not even kiss me.


Beaver Deceiver


 

A.
For some reason Men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating
 (seen the movie "CLOSER" yet?). It's best not to give him the details, as if he does
 forgive you, which it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn't
 have heard back from him) then he will always have that scene running through his mind".
 Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk,
 missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are SORRY. That's all
 you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier.
 You didn't LOVE this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it
shouldn't get blown out of proportion. It's not like you were seeing him for months and
fell in love, it was just a tryst. Men understand as they can usually separate love and lust.
 Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don't even want to
relive such a mistake. Assure him it won't happen again and sit back, be patient and give him
some space to think. Let HIM make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate and it
 will remind him that you are feeling guilty; not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will
go on & what's meant to be will be.

 

Q.
My guy keeps bugging me for anal sex. I have heard from ALL of my friends that it hurts and
 it’s unpleasant. He practically begs me, says “If you love me you’ll allow it at least once”.
 I do love him but his dick is already too big for my vagina. I need help, fast.


Exit Only Alice



A.
Men always think we LOVE having a hard cock rammed up our poop shoot because they see porn
stars begging for it in their “movies”. Fact is, it hurts; especially if the man is well hung.
 His begging for your tighter hole is similar to you begging for him to have a wider cock.
 If you let him try it once, he is bound to love your tight ass and will be gagging for it
all the time. If you’re against it, don’t open Pandora’s Box or it will be a major pain in the ass.



Q.


 I've been dating this girl for almost 7 months. Most of her guy friends
are guys that she has slept with in the past. She says that she has
only been with a few guys like 8 or something but she still hangs out
with half of them. Like going out to lunch and sometimes dinner. Always
exclusively and never with her friends while I'm at work. Is this good
girlfriend behavior? She says they are all just her friends and I believe
her but it makes me uncomfortable…I don't hang out with anybody that
I slept with in the past except one of my ex girlfriends who I dated
 and calls my girlfriend more than she calls me so that’s a lot different.
 Anyway one guy that she went to lunch with a week ago and also slept
 with in the past. Sent her a text message at like 10 or 11 at night
 asking her to hang out. She said she was watching a movie with me but
then he replied that he would try harder when she was single. That
really upset me and she was really upset when I brought it up she said
 that he was drunk and isn't like that normally. She didn't reply to the
text message after he said that. She also talks to her ex boyfriend of 4
 years a lot. Sending myspace comments back and forth and texting. He
 even brought her over a gift last week. She's pregnant.. with my baby.
  It's important to that I work these things out with her. What
 am I supposed to do here? Is it wrong for me to tell her that she
needs to cease relationships with past flings? How do I tell her that?


Nervously Neil

 


A.


Ok, she has all the power now. So you can not tell her what to do,
or even suggest it at this point. Do NOT mention them again!
Once the baby is born, she won't have any extra time for these
clingy fools. Just concentrate on her and put the blinders on to the
Ex boyfriends. They are her ex's; you are her guy and father to the baby.
You need to be more mature (I know they are aggravating and irritating
but do not let them win). Offer her foot rubs, lower back rubs and
just be fun to be with. She will want to be with you rather than them.
Like I said, when the baby comes, those wankers will just blend into the
Past; they will be history as her baby and you will keep her more than
busy and hopefully, content.

How to win ANY woman over ^

 


Q.


Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend
 who is the perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats
women perfectly. Over the last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly.
 He attracts moody, selfish women; of course in the beginning they’re nice.
 Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is a very confident,
successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All these
bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because
some of my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course
 being the man he is he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?


Meddling Mary

 

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I am being neutral. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all
men want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is
 what he chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of
the demanding divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath
 or get involved. Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

 


Ask Dr.Dot (Cougar trend/ condom battle/ Al the ass-man)


Q.
Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend who is the
perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats women perfectly. Over the
 last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly. He attracts moody, selfish women; of
course in the beginning they’re nice. Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is
a very confident, successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All
these bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because some of
 my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course being the man he is
he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?
Meddling Mary

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I'm trying to remain neutral here. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all men
want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is what he
chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of the demanding
 divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath or get involved.
Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

Q.
I'm getting divorced after 22 years of 'bliss'. My wife and I are like oil
and water. I haven't changed since she met me.  I’ve the same
interests; the most important one is a need for a loving sexual bond with my mate.
 I'm very physical. She’s never been, though at first she put on a good act.  She prefers
 intercourse more than anything else, and loathes oral.  Very rarely in our years together
 has oral sex been something that she wanted; to give or receive either! All my other
 girlfriends before her, including my first wife who could cum at the drop of a hat orally
 and otherwise, loved the way I licked their pussies.  My nickname is "Spock" because
my ears had been pulled in ecstasy so many times. I recognize that there is a technique
 that most men really can’t master. This is what I’ve been told by dozens of women over
 the years.

From the many articles I've read on the subject, it seems that often times, women who are
self-conscious about the way their box smells are typically the ones that hesitate to have
 their lovers go down on them for fear of grossing them out. I guess since taste is about
 75% smell, they also figure that their pussy tastes bad as well. I LOVE the way pussy smells,
 tastes, looks, feels and even sounds!

That old joke 'once you get past the smell, you've got it licked' never made sense to me.
I totally love inhaling the scent of a woman! As I said, it adds to the sensuality.  I don't
think it has a damn thing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, the inside of a woman's pussy is
typically cleaner than the average mouth, when it comes to bacteria.  

Bottom line question: in your experience, how common is it for women to loathe their
partner practicing cunnilingus on them, and why?

Bobby Brown (“watch me now, I'm goin' down.”)

A.
Licking pussy is like a lap dance for your taste buds? Lovely. But if your partner
doesn't like it, you can't force her to spread 'em. Most women do enjoy it, the first few
months, but may grow a bit bored of the same old thing; even if it's heavenly genital licking.
 I am well aware of the fact men couldn't
imagine getting bored of head, but women can. If sex becomes routine, women tend to get a
"headache" or a mysterious second period that month. I hope you aren't divorcing her just because
 of her lack of sexual appetite, as that same thing can happen with other,
women as well. If your mind is set on divorce, try to avoid getting married again and/or living
together with a woman if you thrive upon a sizzling sex life. I don't give a FUCK how hot
you/they are, seeing someone ALL the time, sex will get boring and even spectacular oral becomes
 routine. Marriage and living together are so overrated and old fashioned. Sure, it's good for
raising kids and trimming your taxes, but even that can be done successfully while living
 separately. It all depends what your priorities are; family, sex, free time, money, etc. It’s
 hard to have it all and as cliché as it sounds, absence still makes the heart (and genitals)
grow fonder. Last but not least, some women simply don't enjoy having their twat licked out.
Some prefer to give and feel guilty getting pleasure and some ladies are too nurturing and kind
to tell their partner "I've got a spot that gets me hot, and you ain't been to it!"

Q.
I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage.. During the entire 25 years,
I (we) never used a condom. I now find myself 'suddenly single', and the women I've
encountered insist on a condom. I completely understand the necessity of their use.
However, I just can't seem to move past the awkwardness and loss of sensation with their
use. In fact, I hate them!  Any suggestions?
Withering Willy

< Jimi Hendrix's cock, immortalized in plaster, thanks to Cynthia Plaster Caster

 Jimi found a way to reman hard forever

A.
No one likes them, not even us girls. Have the lucky lady suck on you while you unwrap
the condom. Say "do us a favor darling and keep me in your mouth while I wrestle with
this thing", make it fun and they will. Hopefully she will give you good head while you
get it ready, then quickly slip it on and slip in her as fast as you can.
It would be best to give her good oral, no, GREAT oral before the condom is even mentioned,
to make sure she got her fun before you possibly loose the nerve. If you go soft while
wearing the condom, try to make her cum with your mouth or hands and then wank off
onto her breasts or face…It may take time to train him to get used to the ol' wet
suit again I'm afraid. Find a girl to be monogamous with and perhaps you can ride bareback again.

Q.

My son is 21 and he is dating a 38 year old woman. She looks great for her age; very
youthful and she is fun, and I understand why my son loves her, but I can’t help but
wish she would just disappear and let me boy enjoy his youth. Should I just ignore this
potentially hazardous relationship or try to wake him out of this puppy love?
Mrs. Robinson

A.
When a person is 21, they can and will do whatever the fuck they want. You can buy him a
copy of the film Harold and Maude and hope he get’s your point, but as long as they are
both happy why make waves? The more you mention it to him, the more you will drive him
towards her. He has many years to experiment and fool around; she should be the worried
one, not you nor your young ripe son. Rather than trying to fight the Cougar trend, try
to love him unconditionally like a parent should. What will be, will be.

Q.
Ok, here is my problem. I love women. I love women a lot. Maybe too much. The problem is
that most women can only get me excited one time and one time only. I look at them completely
different as soon as the act is finished. I don't even want to ever talk to them again.
I feel horrible. Like I am a bad person. I am 40 and see no sign of slowing down. Any
idea why I feel this way? Am I a fucking asshole? Am I a freak?
Johnny Apple-seed

A.
I feel the same way sometimes. You aren’t a “bad person” in fact being “fruitful and multiplying”
is what being a man is all about, genetically. I am sure a lot of people feel that way,
maybe not to that extreme, but a tad, it’s just they can’t do much about it, as relationships
and social responsibility renders the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ routine. As long as you are
completely up front with your conquest before you dive in, and they are cool with your motto,
why beat yourself up over it? Maybe someday you will meet your match and fall in love. Hopefully
 you are using condoms as you could get a nasty unpronounceable disease and/or knock someone up
which would surely slow you and your unquenchable appetite down.

Q.
In one of your recent columns, you told a girl to avoid anal sex if she was against it. I think
she should try it, I know a few bitches that let me fuck their ass, and they don’t mind. Don’t
be so close minded. Anal is great.
Al the Ass-man

A.
I am thrilled that your bitches put up with you pounding their asses, now I can sleep soundly.
I told “Exit only Alice” to avoid letting her persistent boyfriend screw her in the ass if she
was against it. Had you took the time to read it thoroughly, you would have seen she was afraid
and against the idea. I don’t see how men who haven’t tried receiving anal sex can be appropriate
pro-anal cheerleaders. Have you ever been fucked in the ass Al? If so, did you like it?
Did it hurt? Come on, don’t be so close minded. Anal is “great”. Wouldn’t want you missing out on
any of the “fun”.

 

 

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com