Berlin, Monday at sunset

 

Haupt strasse ^ same street David Bowie lived on in the 70's (5 minute walk from my house). On my computer the colors look darker, wilder, but when I upload them onto my blog, they seem to fade. Strange that. 

I have lived in Berlin, on and off since 1989 and I don't ever recall seeing such vibrant colors in the sky in winter. I MUST start bringing my camera out and about with me from now on, ugh! These were taken with my crackberry, which I always have with me. Not great  quality, but you get the idea.

When I first get back to Berlin it takes me a while to get back into the loop. Friends are happy I am back but are weary of giving their hearts over again, somehow, as they know I am leaving again in March, know what I mean? THAT is the part that sucks the most about living two lives on two different continents. Takes WEEKS to warm yourself and others up to the fact you are back, then once things are in full swing, you leave again, leaving sad and leaving people sad. I hate that part. It may not be like that if you are peddling from one small town back to another, but it is REALLY difficult with cities like NYC and Berlin, where the people are hard to win over anyways, super hard to make friends in either city. I would say it takes at least 2 full years to make a friend in Berlin, a good friend, one you can trust and one that trusts you. Maybe even longer. My REAL friends understand my lifestyle and it seems we never miss a beat. The other kind of friends, well, they are hard work. Not that I even have time to see friends often, sometimes I don't see anyone for DAYS as I am in my flat answering over 1,000 emails a day, writing the sex columns, answering love/relationship questions from strangers (or people I know posing as stranges, and that person knows exactly who I am talking about you fucking freak) also answering emails from people all over the world who hope to join my massage team, hoping to meet and massage their rock and roll idols or just make some cash- thing is, I can not and will not hire anyone with out them giving an audition massage, so it's all about planning and logistics, when and where this test massage will take place. This is why I only have like 200 people working for me and not 40,000, because I insist they have to give that audition massage. Some feel they are above doing such a thing, and their emails are then deleted, some take the test and suck ass, and then they are deleted. 

Emails fly back and forth all feckin' day and night- people getting fired (usually every other day someone gets fired) people quitting "I am moving, I am pregnant, I took another job, my boyfriend/husband is too jealous" etc). There is DRAMA every fucking day,. seriously. Dot Bots making critical mistakes, costing me valuable contacts and money, band managers screaming at top of their lungs down at me over the phone because of mistakes made by a Dot Bot or two (Dot Bot is a nick name bassist Bryan Bellar gave to all Dr. Dot massage assistants a few years ago).  He says it is too much work to keep saying "Please send a Dr. Dot massage assistant to the show" so now people just say "send a Dot Bot". And you have to remember, it goes on 24/7. 

When Dot Bots in Melbourne wake up, Dot Bots in NYC are sleeping, etc, there are always folks awake, wanting something from me, calling, texting, emailing, wondering, crying, bitching, lonely and wanting to chat. I LOVE it, so don't get me wrong I am just telling you why I am online so much and why the blog suffers as it is last to get attention. I still have so many blogs in me, Italy, France, Flogging Molly, Project Object, Ac/Dc, Rock am Ring for Christs sake and that was last summer. Omfg. My ass starts to hurt from sitting and after answering like 800 emails in a row, I hit refresh and then there are another 200 in line waiting. You scoff and say "hire a fucking assistant tight ass and stop micro managing, ya dumb cunt!". Well, I do have a few assistants that I trust and they do somethings for me and are a huge help, but no one can sign into my email account, for what seem to me, obvious reasons. They would/could steal all of my contacts, but mainly, no one knows who I know, as in, no one would know that Suzy in LA knows Frank the roadie from Aerosmith and they are both in Dallas as the same time, etc.. Or no one knows that a tour manager that once toured with Depeche Mode is now touring with The Eagles and he can hook us up, etc. So even if my top Dot Bots who I love and trust signed into answer some of the emails, they would still have to call me ask what to do. "who is Stan and why is he asking for Cindy's number? Who is Cindy and what is her number?". I just doesn't work. 

 

But I think, fuck it, I have had so much fun in my life, more than most people for sure, so if I have down time and have to hide at home in front of the computer, it's all good, I don't feel I am missing anything. Been there, done that, shagged that, eaten that, saw it, heard it, experienced so much I am grateful, satisfied, content. Most people freak and feel they have to travel here and there and see this and that, I followed the Grateful Dead on tour for almost 3 years straight, drove a hearse across the usa, been to Guatemala, all over Europe, the USA and Canada, been backstage to over 3,000 concerts, met musician except Rings Star that I really want to meet, so I am just chillin' now. Good times still to be had, but for me, working is FUN. Sound strange? Most people hate work, I live for it. Guess that addictive trait from my family rubbed off on me, but instead of drugs or alcohol, I got the work bug, and bad. 

But if you love your work, it doesn't feel like work. It just pisses everyone around you off that you are always busy and even when you are out, looking on blackberry to avoid missing any work. I REALLY enjoyed myself at Christmas in Florida, I finally relaxed. Still got about 500 emails a day, which I am still paying for, but it as fucking awesome. Just know, I can't write everything I want in my blogs, as certain people get hurt, pissed off and crazy when I do. I am pretty much banned from writing about my daughter (she is very private). I wish I could post TONS of pictures of her and brag about her and her accomplishments, but her friends all read my blog and report back to her and sure enough, Bitchfest. Then the love life, can't write about that either, that is private. (heh, someday I will write a book about it, big fat juicy book). heh heh. I hate being stifled, restrained, censored, controlled in any way. HATE IT. 

But you have to protect and respect the people you love, and so it goes. Friends read my blog and have learned how to read between the lines. They read it, call me and pretty much get 10 pounds of shit from a 5 pound bag. Bravo. Even Dweezil Zappa reads my blog. How do I know? I posted a blog a while back titled "Is Gail Zappa only in it for the money?" and he emailed me 10 minutes later bitching about it. But, I now write what I want about Gail and the ZFT as I have tried to be nice and suggest ideas on how to please all the fans and tribute bands and Zappa festivals etc, but those ideas fall on deaf ears (they refuse to bend at all) and so they go on suing every cunt who plays a Zappa song, even had all of my youtube videos removed that had ZAPPA songs playing IN THE BACKGROUND!!! "The Zappa family trust has written in and claimed copyright infringement on one or more of your videos. You can either replace the sound and have them active again, or they will remain frozen". So all the work I did nararrting my videos was all done in vain because stupid me had some Frank playing on my iPod in the background. Pffft. lol.

Not even sure I am going with all of this rambling. I have to leave now and power walk to the KuDamm (main drag in West Berlin) to a Doctor appointment (still ill from drinking tap water in Key West Florida, so if you go there DO NOT DRINK THE TAP WATER). I get fit so fast here as I walk everywhere, ride my bike and when it is dry, rollerblade. In the USA I get in the car, drive everywhere and pound the Resee's Peanut Butter cups, tsk tsk tsk!! I get softer, which I guess isn't such a bad thing, but I like to remain firm and fruity, you know? 

Gotta go, ttyl

x

 

 

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