Ask Dr. Dot May 23, 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy..

 

Q.
I have met lots of guys who don't care what the woman wants but I've
met a couple who ask me what I want does this mean the feelings run deeper or
they are still after that one thing?
I've also have heard that if a guy helps you out with your bra and clothes
he loves you. Is this true or does this just show that he is a master player?
Young and curious

A.
Unless the man is flaming gay, he will want pussy. We are put on this earth to breed,
so naturally, they are after that "one thing". Their behavior is the important thing.
If they make you laugh, treat you well and you can feel that they love you, then they do.
Ignore the words; they can blind your judgment. You can't evaluate a man's love by things
like removing your knickers or asking how you like your oral, that's too general. Good men and players
alike will do such things. A man can say "I love you" a million times, but
if he is treating you like shit, what good are the mandatory verbal treats? It's his actions,
not his words that tell the truth.
 

Q.
My ex will NOT stop stalking me. He creates different email addresses and myspace accounts just
to torment and threaten me. All I did wrong was NOT want him anymore. It seems I have to pay
for that "mistake" the rest of my life. What is the best way to stop such a prick in his tracks?
Petrified Patty

A.
Print out all of his nasty messages; photocopy them several times, along with a picture of his face
attached to the stack of papers and bring them to his work/office/parents (whoever means the
most to him). Do the same with the emails, copy and paste them all into one long message and send
it to everyone you both know and in the subject line write "Isn't he a sweet heart?". If he keeps
bothering you, bring one of the "booklets" to the local police so they can keep it on file.
Asking a 6 foot tall male friend to visit him can't hurt either. Hammer time.

Q.
My husband and I have broken up a few times due to his inability to remain physically true. We
 are both Italian, so cheating usually isn't grounds for divorce (bad attitude is). After a 6
month break, we finally moved back in together and all is well except he won't make love to me.
Recently we were driving in my car, phone rang and it was a woman who said she has been seeing
 my husband for the last 20 years and that he married me secretly so she wouldn't find out and
 that he was two timing me. I knew about this skank already and he promised me he would delete
her number. I forced him to show me his cell phone. Her fucking number was still in there. I made
 him delete it right in front of me. I was calm, but cold to her on the phone and then ripped his
face off verbally.
He is seeing a therapist about his infidelity but I am wondering if you think a man like that
can ever really change. He claims he wants to have a baby this year. I am lost.
Just a Woman in love

A.
Next time she calls, tell her "Two timing? Oh honey, you got that all wrong. He is 4 timing and
you are just one of the holes he calls when he gets bored. Our relationship is an open one,
so just take a fucking number." Your apathetic attitude is your best weapon against her. Not
 sure he is worth all the effort though. He seems to have a problem with integrity in general;
not a good trait. Make a time limit in your mind and if hasn't straightened up by then, you
should cut your loses and move on. European or not, bullshit is an international turn off.

Q.
I have a bit of a problem. My clitoris is very tiny, I mean REALLY tiny. Even
when I'm aroused it's still really small. This makes it pretty much impossible
for me to orgasm because my clit is so sensitive. In fact, the only way I can
orgasm is by masturbating. I do it by laying on my stomach with my hands flat
under my abdomen  and grinding my clit up against my hands. I have to have
clothes on too, because it's too sensitive without it. This is very frustrating
for me and my husband because he doesn't know how to stimulate me because
every time he tries I have to make him stop,

So I was wondering, is there a way to make my clit bigger? I think this would
help me alot because the nerve endings in my clitoris wouldn't be all in one
itty bitty space, thus making it insensitive.

If there isn't a way, then what would you suggest I do? I've told him what I
like but he still can't do it, and orgasm by masturbation isn't so great
anyway because I feel like I'm not actually getting a good orgasm… they only
last about 5 seconds, if even.
Clitty Cat


A.
They have pumps out there you can buy, just like the penis enlargement pumps. I
think it's a bunch of bullshit, these tools may feel good and increase ones
confidence buy tricking people into thinking "My clit/cock is swollen, so it
must be bigger" but they don't work. Try using your husband instead of your
hand. Do exactly the same thing you do alone, but do it on top of him with
lots of lube. If that doesn't work, have him lick you, there is nothing softer
than a tongue for those sensitive spots.

Q.

I have a Fart question. I know you have written about how to avoid farting in
front of your lover, but these one cheek sneaks can't go on forever, can they?
I live with my boyfriend now and he farts around me, so when can I start farting
around him? This is the first time I have lived with a guy and my first long
term relationship. I don't want to let it all hang out and loose him, yet I hate running
to the bathroom every time my ass is acting up. When can we fart without shame?

Farting Frauline

 

A.

The Fart Threshold; an unavoidable topic when living together. If he is already telling
you he loves you, then it's ok to let one rip in front of him occasionally. You simply
 have to know if his love is real or not. Who wants conditional love? ("If you fart,
 I won't love you anymore"). Make it fun by blaming it on him . Men fart all
the time, their dogs fart all the time, so they will only be shocked the first time they
hear you cut one. When it does, giggle and change the subject; act like it never happened.

Q.
  I am the Husband of Tainted Tammy that has been writing you, you know "THE BITCH" that
 gets it 5 times a week, for which I am extremely thankful for. My side of it is that
 when we 1st met I let all my skeletons out of the closet which weren’t a lot but I was
a recreational intravenous drug user, (did it about 10 times my whole life) I got involved
with a bad bunch of people and I was the ride for the most part and didn’t have much of
a sex life due to an abusive up bringing at the hands of my father both physically
 & mentally since I was a wee boy. When it was her turn she told me she lost her virginity
@ 17 to a guy that was 21 & he raped her, so I said to myself @ that time "no big deal she
had sex with this guy 1 time it wasn’t her fault and that was the end of it" now 18 years
later she is telling me it was an ongoing sexual
relationship and each time I bring it up the story changes, I was so angry at this guy that
 I was going to inflict physical damage to him and get even as he took my wife’s purity
 from me but now that the truth has come out I feel I can’t hurt this guy because now I see
it was consensual on both parties. This all could’ve been avoided  if she was just up front
from the beginning; I would have married her anyway but I almost feel like she got me on
 false pretences, I love her with all my heart but the deceit really hurts after all these
 years, thanks,
Mr. Bitch

A.
That part was left out in her email to me; I didn't know she was lying about her past. But the past
is the past and I totally frown upon the idea of digging up one's “skeletons”, unless there’s
children involved. Since you were abused in the past, honest and purity must be extra important
to you; hence her blurry past is eating you alive. Take her for a walk and have her tell you the
 whole freakin’ story once and for all. Say "tell me the truth and I shall drop it forever!". Let
her vent and keep your word, just let it slide, otherwise it will just be a constant annoyance and
it will drive you both apart.
If you love each other and want to stay together, you need to clear this shit up. She said you were
 “depressed and
not the same anymore.” Why not tell her why? You have to communicate or it won't work. Just because
you weren't the first guy IN your woman, doesn't mean she isn't pure. She has been with you for years,
 and she has sex with you very often, that shows that her love for you is pure. You can't beat that.
 Let the past die, it's over, done with and know that we all make mistakes.
(*note: the wife has since written  and they’ve cleared everything up and are happy as clams in water)

Q.
I’m pregnant and very horny most of the time. My husband seems to be into it. We got married recently and he wanted kids right away, so here I am, pregnant and jealous. My first husband cheated and I’m paranoid again. I try to keep telling myself men cheat. I don’t ever want to be divorced again. I know if he did cheat I would have to cheat just to build up my ego also. I already have a child and realize how hard it is on a marriage. I’d like to feel like I shouldn't have to worry. I’m a pretty sexual person and love my husband and would like to feel like he only wants to be with me. He tells me he’s waited his whole life for me and wanted to be married and have a baby. He is  37 and I’m hoping he is really ready for all of this. He has been doing whatever he wants for so long. Are all men going to cheat no matter what?
Nervous & Knocked-up

pregnancy can be super sexy ^

A.
Some men cheat; so do some women, but there are those that are satisfied with what they have. The way you described your husband made it sound like he initiated the marriage and pregnancy, so you really don't have to worry.
Had you trapped him in a marriage due to an "accidental" pregnancy, well, then it would be a whole different situation. Your sex drive and confidence will keep everyone happy. Worrying while pregnant isn't good for the baby at all and it's pointless to stress about something that hasn't happened, so just breath deep and enjoy your bun in the oven and the hot baker who helped make it.

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