Picture update (Georgia, NYC and Berlin)

I have so many pictures from the last few months that I have to cram them all into one fat blog. I have so much going on that finding peace and quiet to blog has become harder and harder. I suppose that's a good thing, when one becomes too busy to sit and write, but if I don't write I feel constipated. My goal this year is t rewrite my book all over again as it's like a patch work quilt right now, in pieces that need to be sewn together. It's overwhelming to me, all the things I have in line to do and yet all I can think about is how Jasmine is doing traveling around Europe. I'm going to just comment on each picture, and hopefully it will end up as some sort of chronological story of the last few months of my life. Well, at least a tiny version of it 😉

Melissa and I down in Douglasville Georgia ^

"Mel" as everyone calls her and I get along like two peas in a pod. She is my cousin. My Dad, who adopted me at age one, Chester, has two sisters, Nancy and Caron and although we don't share the same blood, they have been my Aunts as far back as I can remember. Caron has two kids, JC and Melissa. Mel is a little fire cracker and I can see a lot of myself in her even though we are not blood related. She has a wild heart and is very passionate about life. She is a clever little cutie who will hopefully go really far and not take any shit from anyone. LOVE YOU MEL!

;It's amazing all the things you see in the suburbs^


My Dad and Mom separated when I was 11 and he then married a woman named Allyson when I was 14. Allyson, my step-mom, had it hard when she joined our family as I was only 4 years younger than her and she had to take on 3 rowdy kids when she married my Dad. Me, my 7 year younger sister, Michele and 9 year younger brother, Chester (Chet the 4th). Then a year later, they had their own child, Zack. Zack is my step brother and we have always gotten along. Zack recently had his own child, above, also named Zack ^

I call him mini-zack. He is a cutie and gets spoiled rotten as you can imagine. He is like a photo-copy of his father. They look exactly alike. 

 The guy with the sun glasses is my brother Chester. We shared the same Mom but different Dad's (I never met my biological father, an Italian Stallion who was too cool to stick around). Chet married Dana, the woman in the picture with him, and they have a child together (not pictured here) named Chester the 5th! The little girl in the picture is Dana's daughter she had with another man (long story). 

Dana is cool as fuck. I wish I had a picture of Chet the 5th, but for some reason I didn't take that many pictures down there, I was just chillin' like Bob Dylan. Plus, I am always unsure about posting pics and info about relatives on the net as some like it, some hate it etc.. So I feel restricted.  




That is Marcel ^, my sister Michele's second son. He is a very serious child, don't remember seeing him smile much but he was pretty much glued to Jasmine's lap the whole time. He loved his cousin Jasmine. Michele has an older son, Danielle, who hangs out non-stop with Chet the 5th, that's probably why I haven't any pics of them, they run around like wild fire the whole time. The only time I saw them hold still was when I hooked up the karaoke machine. They loved it and it was pretty difficult to get the microphones out of their hands. They sang Bon Jovi, the Beatles, Led Zepp, etc.. AND Pat Benetar too. HILARIOUS!


The other pic is of Melissa and Mini-Zack. The family is tight down there. I wish I could stand living there, but I can't. I tried for a few months when I graduated high school, in between Grateful Dead tours and I went Banana's. Not enough Rock and Roll down South. UGH! Also, they are far behind in many things, like no one recycles there (unless you live in DOWN TOWN Atlanta). No one cares about eating healthy. I was cooking some tofu and the family was looking at me like I had two heads. The kids had never seen or heard of it before. They all smoke cigarettes, no one recycles or exercises  or like I said, cares about healthy eating. I prefer the NYC pace, where everyone works out, eats healthy and recycles. I need that.

It's not like my family refuses to recycle, it's just not an option in the suburbs in Georgia (and probably most of the states in the USA unless you are in a major city). What the fuck is taking so long people? RECYCLE please. Gotta take care of this planet dammit. 


 The whole family down in Georgia posed on Christmas for a group picture, all wearing these fake teeth I have in my mouth above. The picture is hilarious but it's a private thing, so just imagine a massive group of people, young and old, all smiling with these teeth in their mouth. They are a humorous bunch; love to have a good time, that is for sure.

 The green Jets hat above was given to me in 1988 by Frank Zappa backstage in Long Island. I am sure someone gave it to him, he wore it a while, then just gave it to me. I had it in my closet in Georgia for years then I finally gave it to my aunt Caron as I really hate hanging onto things. She gave it to her husband (who is now her ex) Jim. Jim is still very close to the family and is there all the time. Jim is Melissa's father (and JC's too). Jim brought the dam hat over to my Dad's for a photo-shoot. Hence the above pics. The hat is alive and well. Thanks Jim 😉


  < Jim, with "the" hat.

This picture is from 2000, taken backstage at an Eminem show in Hartford, CT. What the hell is it doing here you say? The girl in the middle is my sister, Michele. As I said, she is 7 years younger than I am and we shared the same Mom (Mom died in 1998 ) . She and Chet the 4th are from my Dad, who raised me and my Mom. Freakin' complicated I know. Anyways, I don't have many pics of Michele and didn't even get a new one of her during my last trip to Georgia, so I am posting this one. I was on part of that Eminem tour, doing massages and when he played in Hartford, my sister begged me to bring her backstage. Em and co were so nice to me and allowed it. She only got to meet Em for like 60 seconds, but this is the pic from that dream moment. Proof, the black dude on the right, was Em's right had man for years. Proof sadly died in 2006 from a gun shot wound. Anyways, my sister was in 7th heaven meeting them. Michele and Chet look like my Mom and I look more like my Italian father (seen pics of him). 


Magenta ^ 

Ok, back in NYC, some friends of mine and I went to see the Rocky Horror Picture show at the Chelsea cinema. They act out the film, as the film plays every Friday night. I played Janet when I was in the 9th and 19th grade in Virgina Beach, Virginia. It was a fight with my Dad and Step mom to get out of the house so late each weekend, but I prevailed and had a blast. 

The cast I worked with had a fairy decent looking Frankenfurter, which makes things easier. This NYC cast, however, is apparently not choosy when it comes to casting. I swear to GOD I am not being catty when I tell you their Janet was as useless as a wet paper bag. She was HUGE and not even worth photographing and she showed NO emotion what so ever when delivering her lines, which usually came out much too late. Their Riff-Raff, Columbia and Magenta were out of this world good. Columbia being the best of the whole lot. Their Frankenfurter was in my eyes, too big and too gay. I mean, if you are too gay to even portray Frankenfurter, you need to tone it down a notch. 

I went with my buddy Danny and Jill and some other lesbian fag hag he dragged out who hated me when I wasn't accepting her sexual advances. Sorry, I have been there, but I prefer cock. Plus, she wasn't my type.  

Riff-Raff and Magenta time warping it ^

Columbia was the fucking BOMB ^  LOVED HER!



Columbia again ^ and my English friend, Jill ^ and I. Jill lives half the time in London and the other half in NYC. We get along perfectly. 


Jill and I enjoy going to LIT on Sunday nights in NYC for some karaoke. They have the BEST fucking sound in NYC. Huge song list too, only thing I don't like (there's always something) is that people are still allowed to smoke there. I guess that's why it's called "LIT". Another annoying part is that tattooed guy above ^  

He is there every time I go there (the MC told me he hasn't missed a Sunday night since 5 years). He is always high, which isn't the problem, thing is, he can't STAND it when someone else, besides him, is on stage. He is extremely LOUD when anyone else sings. He will stand right in front of you and talk to anyone who will listen (or pretend to listen) at the top of his lungs, that is, if he isn't trying to snag the mic out of your hand and sing with you.  He simply can not bear it if all eyes and ears are not on him constantly. I really want to make a documentary about karaoke as each place I have visited (London, Manchester, NYC, Berlin, LA well, all over the place)  always has some sort of weirdos fighting over the mic and stage time. It's so exciting to me to see all of this. It's even funnier than a Ben Stiller flick. 

Remember the movie "Cable Guy" how Jim Carey invited all of his customers to a karaoke party? It's pretty much like that but louder. I love the drama, and of course I love to sing. But this tattooed punk has the worst breath you can imagine. Like compost heap mixed with a side of rotting gums. He is always asking me to get high and I tell him, as I try and run away, "NO THANKS!". Oh man, the pro's and con's of karaoke. You want great sound, you have to put up with HIM and smokers. You seriously can't win. 

Anyways, the picture on the right is of Jill belting out "rock and roll" by Led Zeppelin. Her favorite group is Led Zepp, and I love that.  


 Oh, another thing about Lit (which is on 2nd ave, lower east side) is that it's ALWAYS filled with colorful strangers. These two chicks were basically parked in front of the stage, making out wildly, I mean, they were the main attraction that night, much to dismay of  the ego-maniac bad breathed punk. 


 Another friend of mine ^ John was there at Lit, celebrating his birthday. He has the "I hate birthdays" look on his face and who could blame him. The chick on the right simply had a magnificent ass, so I had to snap her pic.

I will probably get my face ripped off when Jasmine sees this picture ^. Not because she is hugging my best friend Jonesy, but because she banned me from posting pics of her. But I can not help myself. I mean, I have a few cute pics of her from Christmas and Georgia and from our night out to see the Beatles cover band The Fab Faux, but this one can't be left on my Mac. I have to share it. Two of my favorite people, both of whom I would stick my hand in fire for, together in one shot. So cute. It's worth the wrath that is sure to come my way. 😉



 MAX, from Berlin, aka Charlie Crawford and the singer of Empty Trash; runner up in German's version of American Idol (Deutschland Sucht ein Super star) came to NYC for a week of fun. No, he didn't stay with me! He is only 19 so get those naughty thoughts out of your mind. Anyways, I showed Max around a bit, as did Jasmine. He is a big star in Germany and can sing his ASS off. I wrote about him already in my Thanksgiving day blog. Click HERE to see it. 


 Eric Danville ^, managing Editor, Penthouse Forum/ Girls of Penthouse and friend of mine, was sadly mugged the night we were initially supposed to meet to sign my contract. "It happens" he said. Luckily only his arm was hurt, he could have been killed. Anyways, a week later we met at a bar called "2a" because it's on the corner 2nd street and avenue A. It's a really popular hang out for artist and people in the entertainment biz. The wine is as bad as the service BUT it is still fun. The pics above are of Eric and his boo-boo arm and me signing my contract, with Penthouse Forum. My sex column "Calling Dr. Dot" will premier in the magazine's May issue (it hit's news stands on April 14th though).  I am so happy and grateful, I won't let them down. Hell, I never let the NY Press down either, my columns were always early and entertaining, they are just unorganized and change editors as often as Lindsay Lohan does boyfriends.  Well, you know the saying, one door closes and another one opens. I was sad when the NY Press dropped my column (along with many other columns at the same time) but now I am glad it happened as writing for Penthouse Forum is way better in my eyes. 

The night I met Eric at 2a to sign my contract, the service was great. But when Tom Clark ^ isn't bar tending/working, you can fucking forget it. The other bar tenders are too busy making love to their crack-berries to notice you are drying of thirst. Meow.
Anyways, I was there before Eric. Never been in 2a before. I sat at the bar, alone, asked for a wine list. The bar tender shows me a bottle of white and a bottle of red (pretty sure they had screw on tops) and said, "here is the wine list, red or white?". I thought, what a cheeky bastard this guy is. lol. He gives me my wine and then asks "are you Dr. Dot?" 

My jaw dropped. Eh? "yes, why? How did you know that? Did Eric tell you I was meeting him here?". He says "Eric who?" then explains he recognizes me from myspace. EH? Still puzzled. I was like "wtf?". He then explains that he and I have been pen pals for almost 2 years, writing on myspace, mostly about music and my desire/obsession for Karl Geary.  Karl frequents the 2a fairly often. Tom told me on myspace 2 years ago that he sees Karl rather often "at the bar he works at" and so we started chatting about him and music etc.. anyways, to me, people look different on myspace then they do in person. Especially if you aren't looking for them. I wouldn't have put two and two together in a million years. lol. Anyhow, I felt like a dumb ass that he recognized me but I didn't him until he refreshed my memory. Guess I need to buy a few more mega bites of memory for my head. 

Behind the bar ^ …makes me laugh every time I read it.

I was asked to come to a recording studio in Weehawken, NJ to massage the band Matchbox 20. I know the sound man, Jim, for almost 15 years now. I massaged Jim in trade for him tuning up my JBL equalizer in my car. My Amp and equalizer in my trunk are so HUGE you can't really fit anything else in there. It's FUCKING LOUD and now, the sound is even more perfect than it was. Listening to music in my VW Golf is one of my favorite things to do (while driving through NYC, windows down). Anyways, the piano above ^ used to belong to John Lennon. It now belongs to the recording studio. John recorded the song 'Imagine' on that piano. I felt honored to touch it. sigh.  



 I went into some rock and roll shop in Greenwich Village and bought a SHIT LOAD of rock and roll t-shirts and all of the guys working there are from Mexico and all had really long hair and were listening to Black Metal, which apparently is "much harder than Death Metal". In fact, they tell me Death metal is just for pussies. Black Metal is the most evil music around. They have it playing really loud and as you shop for rock and roll memorabilia, you think to yourself "mmmm, so if I went to hell and turned on the radio, this is what would be playing". 


Back in Berlin I was invited to a VIP party, thrown by several press agencies, news papers etc.. It was fucking boring but the food and drinks were free and in abundance. The above girl band was playing all night. Yawn. I hate VIP parties.  



This poor bastard is getting married ^. Had to take a pic of this guy on his Stag night in Berlin. Good luck sucker.  


Above ^ Freaky (on the right) and his female companion wearing their lighted baseball hats. I have known Freaky since 1991. He is an artist, jack of all trades and really REALLY fun to watch when he sings karaoke. The words to describe him properly fail me. He calls himself Freaky, so you can just imagine I guess. 


Recently my friend "Scruff" was in Berlin and I showed him around. It was sadly gray and raining the whole time he was here but I am sure he enjoyed himself anyways. 

BIZARRE light-billboard directly across from the Estrel Hotel, where the "stars in concert" show is held. Do Berliners think that Beastiality is ok? I mean, if this was on display in Boston, I doubt it would go over well. Weirdos!!

I brought  Scruff to see "Stars in Concert" which is a show that has been going on in Berlin for almost 10 years. It's all made up of celebrity impersonators. The man who plays Elvis, Grahm, is from Dublin and is one of the worlds best Elvis impersonators and a buddy of mine. He used to do it in Vegas for years, but wanted a change and moved to Berlin. He invited us and paid for everything. The whole experience was amazing but Elvis was by far the best part of the show (The Blues Brothers were pretty good too). It was funny how "Elvis" came out to our table after his part of the show was over (he was in normal clothing) and still had all of his Elvis make up on, as he had to still do an encore. Elvis buying us drinks. Nice.


I fly to France next week, will be there for about 30 hours, then I fly to Rome, stay a few days, then go to Florence. Looking so forward to enjoying Italy again. Ciao Bella

Nice quote

I received hundreds of comments and emails about the posting I made about how much shit an American gets here in Berlin and the best quote so far was this one 

"res​pon​din​g neg​ati​vel​y to the​ neg​ati​ve rem​ark​s cau​ses​ it to per​sis​t. the​ peo​ple​ who​ mak​e tho​se rem​ark​s to you​ are​n't​ say​ing​ any​thi​ng abo​ut you​, the​y are​ tel​lin​g you​ abo​ut the​m..​"


There were HUNDREDS of people writing about how if the Americans didn't make the air bridge, the Berliners would have starved to death, etc… and there were a few Berliners writing me arguing that Berliners aren't that bad. But I have to laugh when I read the quote Goethe made in the 1700's about how miserable and mean the Berliners were, even back then, so it's obviously not just my opinion (or was Goethe just a liar?)


"Es lebt in Berlin ein so verwegener Menschenschlag beisammen,
dass man mit der Delikatesse nicht weit reicht, sondern dass man
Haare auf den Zähnen haben und mitunter etwas grob sein muss, um
sich über Wasser zu halten."

Goethe, May 1778 

Zappa Plays Zappa tour dates (and me venting about Anti-American Berlin)

I am hanging my head in shame here as I have not blogged properly in so long. So much going on, I don't even know where to start. I am in Berlin, it's fucking freezing and everyone here still hates Americans and lets me know about it on a daily basis. I am getting pretty fucking tired of defending myself every time I leave the house. It's bad enough the Germans LOATHE American's entirely, but to hear it from the English here as well is sometimes too much to handle.

I was in an Irish pub the other night, showing a friend around and there were some English guys (from Yorkshire) at the bar and as soon as they heard my American accent they all started in on me. Asking me, as if I was a dumb American (aren't we all?)  "So, where in Canada is NYC exactly?" and "I would rather fucking DIE than go to America. They're all cunts!". Yeah yeah yeah, we fucking suck, now get over it.

I am a walking whipping post here. 99.9% of the people here HATE AMERICANS and when they meet one (me for example) they spit their verbal venom at me (I try to imagine this is aimed at George Bush and let it go in one ear and out the other) but after 18 years of this shit, I am ready to fucking snap. I am not a Patriotic Yank. I don't wear the American flag on my body or brag about being from the USA, but when people ask me where I am from, am I supposed to fucking lie? I should maybe tell them I am from Canada so they get off my ass. AND if they happen to be apathetic about where I am from, they have a go at me when I answer their next question (it's like a fucking interview every time I leave the house)  "so what do you do for a living?" MASSAGE (insert lame joke here) "oh, with happy endings?". Just fucking bite me. From now on, I'm from Toronto and I am a  waitress. End of story. Hostile? Yeah, I am, but you would be too if you got as much shit throw your way as I do being an (GOD FORBID) American.  Thanks Mr. Bush, everyone hates us now, hope you're happy. I didn't vote for the cunt, nor did anyone I know. 

Something about being a foreigner, hard to put my finger on it, lets see, it SUCKS. You have to walk on eggshells. Your accent gives you away. So just keep your mouth shut and you'll be fine. But what about in shops? Restaurants? Bars? You have to speak. I feel SO confident in NYC. Like a fish in water. The ambition, the energy, the anything-goes vibe is a constant turn on. Plus, I am from there (well, born 2 hours drive North) so NO ONE gives me shit about being American on my own turf. HUGE chip on my shoulder right now. One more person gives me hell about being a Yank, I'm gonna snap. Go postal. Can you or anyone you know relate? The song CREEP from Radio Head comes to mind.

 That and the miserable weather (FREEZING, rain, gray skies) and the fact that Jasmine left on a tour all around Europe again for the next 5 months or so, makes me want to get on the next plane back to NYC. Having lived in Europe since 1989 though, makes me also feel a tad out of place there too (I've turned into a bread snob). Going mad. Turning into an eccentric freak. The more success you have in your career the less you fit in. Losers at bars who have no or little money seem to have a million friends and lots of time to spend with them. If you work and love your work and speak about it (when asked) you get glared at as if you just told them you shit tooth paste. "EH? You like to work? I avoid those kind, as it may be contagious!". 

Friends my age are all married and/or are just having kids and have NO time. Single friends are either super rich and have no time or super poor and have NO money but lots of time. Good thing I don't mind being alone. Lately I have been really busy- had a tiny operation, no big deal.. and then helping Jasmine get ready for her trip and showing a lovely friend-

– around Berlin has all taken up so much of my time I haven't even began to answer all of the piled up emails. Another thing, if you are straight (not fucked up) in Berlin and are a foreigner, it's hard to deal with. I go into the Irish pubs of Berlin from time to time for some karaoke and see the English speaking crowds, some of which have been here as long, if not longer than myself and most of they are high and/or drunk as fuck every time I see them. Some of them have actually gone crazy. I know a couple Americans here that have turned into massive alcoholics and put heads; you can barely understand them anymore. You ask them "why?". They say it's cold here, the people are cold here. You wonder "why not go back to your country?" but many have been here so long, they would have to start all over again back "home". 


Really odd situation. Not looking to start a pity party, just telling the truth. One American man here wrote a book called the  Zoo station  years ago. Directly after it's release, he killed himself. The Spring and Summer are better; people smile. Winter is hell on earth here. They will simply NOT obey the smoking ban yet. Most places are still extremely smoky and the one's that do enforce the smoking ban, allow smoking after 11pm anyways. So I stay at home most of the time organizing massages for touring rock bands. Super fucking exciting. Party On Garth. 


On a lighter note, I am off to France early April to perform a Hot Chocolate massage on a certain someone (can't reveal their name yet). Then I will take a train over to Italy and meet Jasmine for a week of fun in the sun. Then later in April, back to NYC. I do LOVE my flat in Berlin, as it's all mine and I can do whatever the fuck I want in it whenever the fuck I want….but big deal, the folks here in Europe have already made up their minds to hate Americans, so why stay here?  So much hate here, it's insane. Lighten up people will ya?


"I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!" – Theodore Roosevelt

Zappa Plays Zappa tour dates ^

 Yes I support Zappa tribute bands and Zappa alumni and the Zappanale, but just to show Gail and Dweezil that I am mutual, here are their dates. All things involving Zappa music are good things.

Ask Dr. Dot…. March 2008

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

My husband turns 42 this year and he's become this insecure person.  He was never like
this very insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at times high strung. We have sex 5 times a
 week sometimes twice a day.  He brings up my first long term relationship up constantly.
 This past relationship was 23 years ago, lasted 2 years and I was only 17. I have been
 married to my Husband for 17 years and now this is coming up in conversation constantly.
 My first relationship was HELL, we hardly saw each other and all we did was fight and
 I chose to forget about it a long time ago but he keeps bringing it up because the
 fuck I was with took my virginity and my husband feels it was
 Memorable, but not for me because it was basically forced and at that age and you put
yourself in stupid situations.  I don't think there are too many women out there that say
 what a beautiful experience it was losing their virginity. I am sure there is some but
 it's not the majority.  My question is how do I get him to get past this?  Or is it
something I have to live with?  Should I let him go and maybe he can find himself a
“memorable” virgin to deflower?  I don't want him to tear me down to bits so I feel
tainted while I am married to him.  But I don't know how much more of this I can take-please
 advise!! By the way LOVE YOUR COLUMN-IT IS THE BEST!!!!!! 
Tainted Tammy

The Bitch gets sex more than 5 times a week, even after 17 years of marriage
 (this must be a world record)  and yet he is still “insecure, withdrawn, needy, and
at times high strung"?
What a spoiled prick. Dogs, like Men, are on their best behavior when they want to be
fed. Keep his "bowl" half full, as in; keep him hungry for you and he may be a bit nicer
to you. Being TOO nice to men, giving them TOO much sex doesn't make them love you more,
 it can have the opposite effect, it can make them ungrateful, lazy and it can turn them
 into monsters. Sure, they all say they want sex everyday, but then there is NO
challenge and they feel they have all the power, like yours; he feels so powerful that
he picks on you about something that happened decades ago. Ask him "are you that fucking
 bored?” Tell him you are done talking about the past and it’s killing your sex drive to
 the point where you don't want to fuck him anymore let alone several times a week if he
 keeps up this bullshit.
He is probably unhappy about other things, like turning 42, and no matter how much pussy
 he gets, it won't make him happy, only he can make himself happy, so stop trying so
 hard to please him, you are only making it worse. Sometimes when people are miserable,
 they actually resent folks being too nice to them as they subconsciously feel they don't
 deserve it. In other words, he doesn't deserve all that pussy if he is being a wanker.
Good luck with that, I would tell him to be nice and drop the past or move the fuck on
 as he obviously doesn’t know how good he has it.

I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she loves me very much. Making
love is like unbelievable; we both have a great connection and 80% of the time
we both orgasm together. Though it seems like every time she is on top of me I
can’t seem to hold an erection for more then 5 minutes. In fact when I feel my
self losing my erection, I switch positions right away. I have never ever had
this problem with other woman before. One thing I noticed is that she gets very
wet and usually cums two to three times, and literally drips gulps of fluid. Do
you think it's her fluid that is making me lose my erection? I can’t understand
this. please help me.
Wet Willy

You say it didn't happen with other women, so it could be her dripping wet pussy
gets too loose/relaxed to keep your cock hard. It is a compliment that she gets so wet,
so be sure not to whine about it, just take your hand from time to time, and wipe
her pussy (ask her to lift up for a second and wipe her). Your dry (clean) hand will take
enough excess fluid away to regain some resistance which you surely loose when it
gets so slippery, hence you loose your stiffy. If your hand isn't enough, then you
should keep a clean, soft rag around to sop up her juice from time to time; mop that
baby up and keep going as a juicy girl is good thing.

My wife and moved to Berlin, Germany 6 months ago as my job has relocated me here.

(we are both from the UK). She can't
speak German and hasn't been able to find a decent job. She is extremely fit, very
good looking indeed and so I wasn't that surprised (but not happy) to find out that
she is working for an online, sexy web cam chat thingy. One of my work mates found her
and actually paid her for a chat (he claims he was just checking to make sure it wasn’t full nudity,
it’s topless). We had a giant argument about this and she doesn’t see
anything wrong with it, but I want her to quit. I feel World War 3 coming on, please
answer fast.
Nervous Nate

You can’t force her to stop so try to think positive; those girls can earn loads of cash,
they never meet the men they chat with and it’s good for her ego; getting told she
looks good will boost her confidence and sex drive. Plus, she is obviously grooming
 herself well, so she will stay looking hot for you too. Women do those things for two
 reasons (1) Not enough income (2) They like to be admired and looked at. It could be worse,
 she could be stripping in a club, where men can meet her and maybe even touch her. So
count your blessings, your double income and be happy you married such a sex bomb you
lucky bastard.

A few years ago, my wife was attacked and
robbed in a bar she worked in. Her and the
manager were stripped and left bound and gagged
for hours until they were able to work themselves
free. She said she was "fondled slightly" by the criminal,
who she has described as "not unattractive."
She says it could have led to rape although it didn’t,
but the probability of it kept her wet!
Ever since that incident, she constantly referrers to it
during our love making. She admitted almost
from the day it happened that she was aroused by
the entire thing and masturbates while
thinking about it and she says she cums the hardest
while thinking about the ordeal while we screw.
Now she wants me to tie her up and re-create it.
I refused.  I'll talk about it, but not this.
She now calls it an "erotic encounter!"  It was a crime,
not an encounter or a fantasy. It makes me very upset.
How can something like this be arousing? I'm concerned
 that she has some type of personality disorder.
What do you think?
Disgusted Dan
It's common for people to find a sexual way to look
at drama in order to digest and deal with it.
Had your wife been violently hurt and still wanking over it,
then perhaps she has a screw loose but if she was just stripped,
 gagged and fondled perhaps that turned her on. Imagine you were
stripped and gagged by a hot female thief? Try to put yourself
in her shoes.  If this is the only thing that makes you think
she could be nuts, I’d let it slide.
She is just a pervert in bed and lord knows there are loads of
those around.
There is no way to change her way of thinking and the more you
tell her it's sick or wrong, the more forbidden and naughty it
 will get for her. Why not tie her up once and act it out, just
to shut her up and make her fantasy finally come true.
Even people who have never been raped act it out in the bedroom
 as a fantasy.
Try it once then tell her later that you are getting bored
reliving her “encounter” and you want to play out one of your
 fantasy’s now  and don't sugar coat it either. If you can’t beat
 ‘em, join ‘em.


I have a perfect BF who treats me great but I have taken advantage.
 For the last few months I have been a vicious shrew to him. I said
some really cruel stuff that I didn’t mean!. He is still with me but
 the twinkle in his eye has gone, and I can sense he’s lost his
confidence. He used to be so funny and full of life. To make things
 worse, the hot bartender at our drinking hole has noticed our relationship
 sinking and she now flirts with him in her slutty clothes; last time
we were there she was really pushing it, I know she wants him. He goes there
 on his own sometimes, what can I do to stamp my mark on him again? She
 wasn’t sniffing around before when things were perfect. My eyes are starting
to water now thinking about it. I care about him and want to make it up
to him. How can I get him back to his normal self? Why did I act like that?
 Flirting with Disaster


Don’t worry about “getting him back to his normal self”, you need to
 get back to normal. Sometimes we use our partner/lover as a whipping
 post, we forget that only our parents have to love us, anyone else
can (and will) walk away if you treat them badly. Perhaps you are drinking
 too much caffeine? Caffeine can make people very edgy and bitchy.
Think hard about your habits and routines and see if you can find any thing
 that is contributing to your bitchy behavior. Some people get too cozy when
 they are being treated well. They start to get high off of the power of
 having the upper hand in the relationship and they just take advantage,
like you were doing.
Write him an honest letter; keep it short and sweet, tell him you are embarrassed
 for being so evil and ask him if there is anything you can do to make it
 up to him. Don't go over board though; just start being sweet and grateful
 right away. Massage him, give him loads of oral and let him do most of the
talking for a while, and give him some space. When he reaches out, be there,
 be kind and if you two are meant to stay together, things will be like they
 to be, sparkle and all. Now about the hot vulture. Never mention her to
 him and vice versa! That would only make them gravitate towards each other.
Start giving him amazing, really long blow jobs, take your sweet old time,
and sit him naked on the corner of a bad, kneel down on a pillow, naked on
the floor in front of him, make sure there is a mirror in back of you, so
 he can see you from behind while you blow him and lick his balls,. I doubt
going to a bar would be on his mind anymore. Dress sexy around him, red dress
, cleavage, STOCKINGS.
 Start doing fun things with him, tell him the bar is starting to bore you,
 bring him bowling, out to karaoke, anything that would keep you two out of
 that bar and be fun! (try to do this transition slowly, so he doesn't think
 you are going over board).
When you see the bitch at the bar, be really nice and friendly to her and
 tip her a lot, it's harder for a girl to steal another girl’s man when she
is "friends" with her.