Bring “Ask Dr. Dot” back to the NY Press (hey, it’s worth a shot)

The NY Press is apparently regretting letting my sex column "Ask Dr. Dot" go this past September. How do I know? All of the bad press they are receiving about the hiring and firing of several sex columnists since mine was dropped. Hey, we all make mistakes. 

Please write to the editor of the NY Press (David Blum) that you would like to see my column back in their paper:




Los Angeles, december 5th, 1993. Phonecall made to the Zappa-hotline to commemorate Frank Zappa.. hear the answering machine:

Hi, thank you for calling. You’ve reached the Zappa-hotline, this is Moon.

My family requests that those wishing to send flowers to commemorate my father in some way make a donation in his name either to: The Office for intellectual freedom of the American Library Association (a 501 C3 tax exempt organization) please phone them at: 312-280-4223 or fax them at 312-440-9374. Or make a donation in Franks name to: The Cousteau Society, Greenpeace, or any favourite environmental cause.


My family is concerned about all of those of you who love Frank And want to do something but are financially restricted:




My family hopes to be able to announce a memorial event at a future date and lastly, my mother asked that you be kind to your family and to your friends, and, most especially to yourself.

 Moon Zappa


 ^ HEAR MOON'S VOICE SAY THOSE WORDS  ( copy and paste code above)

Heath Ledger RIP. “It’s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry”

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come."


Heath Ledger died today. Heard it from a few friends per text as I woke this afternoon. Yes. afternoon. Then I got a call from Access Hollywood, asking me if it was me that showed up today to massage him at 3 pm:

 "It wasn't immediately clear if Ledger had committed suicide. He had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony neighbourhood of SoHo, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m."

 I told him,  Pills kill. Massage heals. More massages, less pills. Had Heath booked with me, he'd still be alive, as my massages are worth hanging on for. Great massages make you look forward to the next appt. My clients know I am anti-pills. If you receive proper massages on a regular basis, you don't NEED sleeping pills. The guy was reaching out for peace and relaxation, even up to the last minutes he spent on earth. 

I am however, calling all of my massage assistants in NYC to find out if it was indeed one of my team. All bookings are made through me, so if they did book with him, they did it on the sly, so they may not want to come forward OR Heath may have booked with an unknown therapist, as you can find them a dime a dozen on craigslist. Would he be nutty enough to book someone on his own? Anyone who is nutty enough to take too many pills is indeed unpredictable and nutty enough. 

Fame kills. Artist are usually overly sensitive souls to begin with, then if they get famous, they usually snap. You have to have TOUGH skin or be stable as hell to withstand the constant brown-nosing, lying, scamming fucks around you when you are famous. There are LOADS of hanger-ons around each celebrities who constantly feed them pills and drugs to keep the star high, to make themselves indispensable to the star, to keep them so high, they won't notice they are being manipulated for financial or celebrity gain. It makes me fucking sick. I feel sorry for the celebs in that situation, which is pretty much the majority of them. They have NO idea about all the shit that goes on around them and behind their backs. All the power games and backstabbing; it's revolting.

I am sad about Heath's early death and fear that Britney, Amy Winehouse and Mischa Barton are sadly on the same path. Fame, pills, booze and drugs are a lethal combo.



 "I make my living off the evening news

Just give me something-something I can use People love it when you lose, 
They love dirty laundry Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here I just have to look good, 
I dont have to be clear Come and whisper in my ear Give us dirty laundry Kick em when theyre up
 Kick em when theyre down Kick em when theyre up Kick em when theyre down 
Kick em when theyre up Kick em when theyre down Kick em when theyre up Kick em all around 
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who Comes on at five 
She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam In her eye 
It's interesting when people die-
 Give us dirty laundry Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet? You know, 
the boys in the newsroom got a Running bet Get the widow on the set! 
We need dirty laundry You dont really need to find out whats going on
 You dont really want to know just how far its gone Just leave well enough alone 
Eat your dirty laundry Kick em when theyre up Kick em when theyre down 
Kick em when theyre up Kick em when theyre down Kick em when theyre up
 Kick em when theyre down Kick em when theyre stiff Kick em all around 
Dirty little secrets Dirty little lies We got our dirty little fingers in everybodys pie 
We love to cut you down to size We love dirty laundry
 We can do the innuendo We can dance and sing When its said and done we havent told you a thing
 We all know that crap is king Give us dirty laundry!"  DON HENLEY 


“Tribute bands zapped”

I have a monster blog coming up… lots of pics to crop and info to write.. but for now, check out this article in the news:


Imagine an Elvis Presley tribute show being shut down by a cease-and-desist order.

Imagine any of the hundreds of Beatles tribute bands being threatened with lawsuits.

That's what's going on in the Frank Zappa fan community now, and it raises the question of when a tribute stops being a tribute and starts being thievery of the artist in question.

The 12th annual Midwest Elvis Presley Impersonators Competition runs tonight and Saturday at the Springfield Hilton. (The event traditionally sells out, but as of Thursday morning a number of tickets were still available for tonight's show only. check out if you're interested.)

These shows – similar ones take place all around the country and lead to a national showdown among Elvis impersonators – are enjoyed by thousands. Of course, many more Elvis impersonators perform all around the world.

In the past few months, a Presley tribute act (Al Hull) and a Beatles tribute act (British Export) have played to paying crowds at Decatur's Lincoln Square Theatre. American English played Decatur Celebration's Show Stage in August, and Rain – a Beatles tribute band that aficionado Kevin Breheny says is the best he's ever seen – plays the Rosebud Theatre in Effingham on Feb. 26.

The Presley and Beatles estates are judicious about guarding their copyrights. That's one reason Beatles tribute acts work hard to wiggle their way around using the band's name.

But even those estates realize that the best way to keep the act's name alive is to have the music performed in front of people. As long as the music remains alive, the performers (and the value of their images and music) remain alive.

Frank Zappa died 14 years ago, just short of his 54th birthday. While it might be hard to believe for those who know Zappa for "Valley Girl" and "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow," his 60-plus albums represent a valuable canon to a pocket of fans (certainly considerably smaller than Presley's or The Beatles').

That music has also launched about a dozen tribute bands that play both here and in Europe. In addition, Zappa Plays Zappa, a group headed by Frank's son Dweezil, has conducted a pair of tours of the United States, recently toured Australia and is planning shows in Japan this month.

The problem is, Zappa Plays Zappa is the only group authorized by the Zappa Family Trust, the group that controls Frank Zappa's estate. And the trust spent much of December sending out cease-and-desist letters to blogs, to tribute bands and to a European memorial concert that's been going on since 1990 (one that Frank Zappa endorsed during his life).

The trust's cease-and-desist case – which has altered but not shut down any blogs, and which failed to stop at least two tribute band performances it was designed to halt – seems to rest on the interesting yet dubious assertion that, quoting the letter from trust lawyers posted on the Web site of tribute band Bogus Pomp:

" ¦ (ASCAP) licenses ¦ limit the grant of rights to nondramatic performances ¦ Many works by Frank Zappa are inherently dramatic in nature."

Carried to a logical extreme, any band that performs a tribute to another band in some "dramatic" form is performing against the law. Isn't any performance on a stage "dramatic" by definition?

In the past 10 years in Decatur, we've seen tribute bands perform sets of songs by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Eagles, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Rod Stewart and Faces, The Beach Boys and others. Did anyone seeing them think they were seeing the real thing? Did anyone seeing them feel they reflected negatively on the original performer and have their feelings about the original performers affected as a result?

The law certainly has its place in the entertainment industry. Unreliable acts and unscrupulous promoters and venue owners need to have their feet held to the fire.

But lawyers are out of place when they begin to affect the art, and the audience's enjoyment of same.

Frank Zappa said it best during his lifetime:

"If you're a musician, play my music. If you're not a musician, play my music."

Tim Cain can be reached at or 421-6908.

 Click HERE to see article online  

Protect Sea Turtles (sign please)

What could a Pacific leatherback sea turtle possibly have in common with a T-rex? Granted the docile and majestic turtle doesn't connote the same thrilling terror as one of the most fearsome predators of all time, yet the two lived side-by-side some 65 million years ago. In fact the very first sea turtles began to evolve around 110 million years ago.
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Thanks 🙂


  <  I LOVE turtles 

Frank Zappa memorabilia

Frank at sound check, by Dr. Dot ^ 




Pic's I took of Frank during sound check 1988 tour  ^



Some pics were taken with my 35 mm camera and some, like this one above, with my disc camera, so the quality is crappy 🙁 

Frank had us ^ dance on stage during Packard Goose  in yellow aprons he handed out (and signed) and announced us as the Long Island Dance Ensemble.  I still have the apron and will scan it in once I get back to Berlin where I have it safely packed away..

Click HERE   to read more about that ^ 


Cover of the 1988 itinerary  ^  I got my own copy as I was a fixture on the tour, healing with my wicked hands


You can see some of Frank's hand writing throughout the book. I didn't scan in every page…if there is a demand for it, I will, but sigh, lotta work lol



You can see where Frank wrote Dweezil's name in, as he joined him on stage in Long Island.. ^  OOoh what a night.. 🙂


Me, in my hippie phase, with Dweezil (still wearing yellow apron). SCHWING! God he is gorgeous.


Frank Zappa quotes on the Zappanale

Let us, at this time, remind ourselves of the following exchange which took place when the editors of the US fanzine, Society Pages, met with Frank in January 1991 – and they discussed Matthew Galaher’s attendance at the first Zappanale:

SP: There is this group called the East German Arf Society…

FZ: (laughs)

SP: …and they have gotten together for a couple of annual meetings.

FZ: That’s great!

SP: Actually, one of our friends took a trip to Europe, met with these people, went to one of their little meetings, and was really taken with the whole experience of it.

FZ: That’s amazing!