Rod Stewart, Barbara Schoeneberger & Simon Cowell blog ;)

As you can see from the date on the backstage pass below, I have been really busy. So busy, a month has gone and I haven't blogged properly. I've felt full, like when you eat too much, but my head is the full bit; full of blogs (full of shit?), so I am up, blogging, when I should be sleeping, to get rid of all this info rolling around my mind.  

Have you seen "Bruce Almighty" with Jim Carey? How the prayers build up and distract him? That's how it is if I don't write. It gets too loud and chaotic in my head.

Rather embarrassed to say, that I think the whole tonsil operation was a mistake. I thought, since the Doctors told me, they have to come out, meant, having them out would cure everything and I'd feel perfect. Seems now that instead of getting a sore throat, it just goes deeper (any infection) to the lungs. I have another lung infection (well, Berlin mostly heats with nasty COAL, so the air here is like a whore's heart; dirty, really cold and moist. 

I went out Thanksgiving night (will blog about THAT asap) and have been basically in bed since. I have a lot to catch up on, so..moving right along….

Peter, the tour manager of Rod Stewart is a mate of mine, even though I haven't seen him since the Jeff Beck show. He had me come to the Max Schmeling Halle in Berlin to set up and offer massages at my first ever Rod Stewart show. I can't believe I hadn't seen him live since that night. I was waaay into Rod before I even had any pubic hair. I thought he was the sexiest mother fucker on earth, and I didn't even really have a grasp yet what sexy was. Hearing him made me tingle inside; I was a fan. I mean, I've always loved Zappa and the Beatles, but Rod and Mick Jagger, were objects of my desire…tsk tsk.  Watching Rod on TV sing "do ya think I'm sexy" turned me into a horn dog, ditto with Mick singing "Start me up" on Mtv. I admit it, go ahead and laugh. 

SET LIST ^ 

I massaged the band and several roadies as well. One, named Bruce, was about 6 foot 8 inches tall, hung out with me and watched the show after his massage. He's been on the road with Rod for years and years. Big sweet heart.

Bruce, Rod's loyal carpenter/roadie ^ 

 

One of the back up singers was 7 months pregnant, but I only noticed it towards the end of the show. I gave her a foot massage for free after the show, as a tiny gift. Rod takes really good care of his crew, band and managers. I heard it's the plushest tour one can be on, as in, one day off in between every show, which is fucking great if you are touring. The catering was the fucking bomb too. These folks got it good 😉

;Rod put on a fantastic show. It was funny as hell to see so many German men dressed up like Rod in the first few rows. Extreme fans who donned his hair color/cut and the same style of clothing too. 

;Still charming and handsome after all those years..and that voice. Oooh la-la. 

I didn't get a picture with Rod, sadly. He "gets bored hanging about backstage" as his manager Lars told me, so he leaves the venue the second the show is over. I was lucky enough, though, to get a signed Football (ok, soccer ball for the yanks) from him 🙂

After the show, a friend and I went to a birthday party I was invited to from my girlfriend Betty Deluxe (not pictured). 

If you click HERE you can see Betty in action on stage recently, dressed in blue, dancing on stage with Mika.  I have no idea why I didn't snap any shots of the birthday girl…probably because she was so surrounded by her gay friends, I couldn't get a picture of her even if I tried 😉

ANYWAYS, two of my other friends were there. Barbara Schoeneberger, who is Germany's cutest, funniest and SMARTEST TV moderator and Andre' Rival, my favorite photographer.

I just went to Youtube and searched "Barbara Schoeneberger" and was pleasantly surprised when I found a video of me on her talk show at the top of the page:


This interview took place in 2000, when she had a show called "Blondes Gift" which means "Blond poison" in German. I was wearing head to toe RUBBER. Sweating my ass off. lol. Anyways,  I LOVE Barbara. She is fucking gorgeous, loves younger men, has ridiculously beautiful breasts and is smart as a fucking whip. Her show was called Blond Poison because she normally ripped her guests a second asshole. She is cheeky as, well, me. We got along perfect, so she was really nice to me; plus, why be mean when I am massaging your feet, right?

  < yum yum, two's better than one

After a couple glasses of wine, well, Barbara and I get kinda friendly. Andre' Rival took this shot of us, he was in heaven. 

Look how cute she is! She is not only a HUGE TV star, she sings too and is going on tour very soon. Click HERE   to see her web site and hear her voice.

Andre' ^ has taken LOADS of pictures of me. I posed naked for him for his book (naked celebrities under his oak tree) which was a first for me (well, apart from the body painting thingy). He is so fucking funny, I call him the Woody Allen of Photography. He has photographed so many presidents and stars, he is probably Germany's best photographer. Love him (and his wife too). She is also a photographer and was there at the party too, but she is rather shy.

 

Andre', Olaf Hajek (famous illustrator) and Barbara. What great night. Berlin can be so fun sometimes. I run into people I know whenever I leave the house, guess I know more people here then I do in the US. Well, I know a lot of folks there too but they are so spread out you know?

 I recently went to London to massage one of my favorite clients of all time, Simon Cowell. Let me tell you, the man does NOT count pennies. He goes ALL out and spoils everyone around him. Almost all rich people I know, are penny pinchers, tight wads, but not Simon. He is THE BIG SPENDER. He is hands down, the most generous client/star I have ever massaged. My flight, hotel, all my food, room service, etc was all paid (I never even see the bill) and there was a mercedes car with driver waiting outside for me whenever I wanted to go anywhere. Business class flight too. Simon insists on the best. He fucking RULES! 

 

Simon fucking RULES!  ^ 

  < My hotel

 I was put up in the Baglioni hotel in London, directly across from Hyde park. I was being nosy and asked the front desk how much my suite cost and they said "500 pounds per day Madam". Daaam. I am not snobby, could have stayed at a cheaper place, but hey, I won't say no. When I checked in the room wasn't ready yet (I got there at 10am). So I sat at the bar and worked on my lap top and the manager there asked me if I was there for the Who. eh? No, why? The Who were having a party in my hotel that night for their new dvd they just released. You won't believe this, but I missed the party. I massaged Simon from 10 pm to 12 midnight and when I got back, the party was over. LONDON bores the FUCK out of this night owl. WTF!!????

< Across from my hotel

I have to think of the Stones song 'Street Fighting Man'

"But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
cause in sleepy london town
Theres just no place for a street fighting man
No.."

 SLEEPY LONDON TOWN indeed! No wonder my mate Joe Jackson moved to Berlin from London. Not only is smoking banned (which I love) BUT, you can't go out after MIDNIGHT! There is NOTHING open. Ok, there are a few cheesy, and I mean CHEESY night clubs with crappy pop/techno music and people who are dying to be important, but they too close at 2 am. HOWEVER, I did find a and I mean A, as in, the ONLY restaurant that is open 24 hours a day called "Vingt-Quatre" on 325 Fulham road. I have been there a couple years ago when I was in town for Sting at Live 8. They serve everything and it's great quality. Expensive as fuck, but I don't mind. I gladly give out big bucks for good food anytime. Don't give a toss about designer clothes, jewelry or cars, but food and music, now they are important to me. 

< Nice folks I met at the 24 hour place

Anyways, I didn't see much of London, as I slept all day, jogged, ate, massaged Simon, then there was nothing open after. Great. But I earned WELL and got treated like a fucking queen, AGAIN, from Simon and his assistant Ali. I am extremely grateful. Love you Simon!  Anyone who talks shit about Simon, simply hasn't met him. He is a fucking gentleman; a sweet heart with a massive sense of humor.

I feel ok now, got a lot off my mind, going to the lung doctor AGAIN. I leave for NYC again in a couple weeks.."start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' today, I want to be a part of it, New York, New York" yeah baby!

My favorite web site: www.freerice.com (get smarter & feed the world simultaneously)

Click HERE to discover "Free Rice" my favorite web site, that challenges your intelligence, teaches you and  simultaneously feeds the world. 

< Free Rice 🙂

 

No, this is not spam, no, I was not hacked (this week),

x

Dr. Dot 

 

Warning, it's addictive! 

 

About FreeRice

"FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site, Poverty.com.

FreeRice has two goals:

  1. Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.
  2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.

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Whether you are CEO of a large corporation or a street child in a poor country, improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It is a great investment in yourself.

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Bitchfest last night

 Bitchfest (my band) played a tiny gig last night in Strausberg, Germany. Click HERE to see the place. It's called Ku-Stall. Used to be a cow farm, where they bread, slaughtered cows I guess. The backstage area was nicer than where we usually play (White Trash in Berlin). We were treated soooo well. The area reminded me a lot of where I went to hgih school for my 11th & 12th grade (Ellington & Rockville CT). Farms everywhere, fresh air, everyone knows each other and they are bored out of their fucking heads so they all drink like there's no tomorrow each weekend. 

 

Vitri and Danielle workin' the MIC  ^

< Vitri backstage

Keeping warm before the show..

 It took us an hour to drive there. We had a fucking blast. This was my first show since having my tonsils removed, it's been two months exactly. It did affect my singing, my throat felt dry really fast and well, I think it will take a bit longer to heal before my pipes are in perfect working condition again. Anyhow, we got some footage of our rehearsal (above ) and some silly pics from backstage. 

We were joking how tidy we kept the dressing room and how we weren't drinking until after the show. How easy it must be for touring rock stars to slip into taking drugs due to the fucking boredom of waiting backstage for the show to begin.. glad I'm not a rock star 😉

Vitri is so light, I can carry her around and not even notice

Meow!

Bitchfest:  myspace.com/drdotscreamsherheadoff 

Ask Dr. Dot (the Bitch is back)


Q.
I can not sleep with another person. I don't mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person (just my cat) This has offended many women. Can this be corrected?
Lester the Loner

 

A.
Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can't even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn't mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.

Q.
I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger


 

A.
It is not her fault if you can't stay hard enough for a condom, so it's ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.

Q.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year now and the sex was great, and
now the past 2 months my boyfriend cums in about 3 min. He used to be able to
last awhile. Why does he get off so fast?
Ms. Loveme  Longtime

 

A.
He is getting lazy and selfish.
Time to rock the boat. Make him lick you until you cum, and then he can enjoy his
3 minutes. Tell him you are getting bored with the quickies. Men like a girl who
can speak up and says what she wants, especially in bed.

< comfort zone

Q.
I am facing a dilemma I have no clue how to handle, and it’s getting
quite frustrating. This is what's going on:
I am completely in love with my girlfriend. Though we have only been together
for a year, we spend every day together, and I would love to do so for the rest
of my life. I am in no way unsure of my emotional feelings toward her, but I
have another problem.
I don't know why, but I have always been very interested in sodomy. I don't know
why, it's not a conscious decision.
She has given me head a few times, though she has only done it until I came on
two separate occasions. One time she swallowed, and the other time she didn't. I
know how other people's sex lives are often void of oral, so I don't see myself
as incredibly unfortunate, but there's one thing that tips the scales, and that
is that I frequently go down on her. It'll usually happen about 3-4 times a
week, if not more, and it’s not very rare for twice in a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, and I am very good at it, as she comes
every time. But I feel like our sex life is very one sided. I've tried talking
to her about it, but all I get are answers like, "I just don't feel like it" or
"Do we have to do it all the time for our sex life to be good?" (I don't
understand how that last one even applies though, because she's getting some
practically every night.) I don't know how to stress this point well enough to
her, without seeming like a sex hungry jerk. I also suffer from the fact that I
was in a different relationship about two years ago, and that girl gave me head
all the time, (almost nightly) and we did anal once. (That's when I got my thing
for it.)
I guess my question is what makes you enjoy giving head? I love giving her head,
and I've asked her once, maybe twice, if she liked doing so to me, and all I get
is an "I don't mind." I feel very unsatisfied, and seeing as I please her with
my tongue on an almost nightly basis, I feel she should do the same.
I do not want a "Doing it because I have to" blowing though. That sounds
horrible.
Hungry for Head


A.
First of all, stop eating her out. When she asks why you stopped, tell her "I
don't feel like it" or "do I have to in order for our sex life to be good?"
She should get the fucking message loud and clear. She is selfish and spoiled by
your eager mouth.
I really think you want anal sex because it reminds you so much of your ex who
satisfied your oral cravings, like a good girlfriend should.
Look what happened to Bill Clinton when he wasn't getting head from Hilary. Stop
giving and you will start receiving.
It is clear you are more into her, then she is into you. She is obviously into
sex, as she lets you lick her clean every night, so it just boils down to her
being selfish and just not into your cock like she should be.

ps. Maybe you and "Loveme Longtime" should get together 

Q.

If a girl swallows for you does it mean something? I mean
do women swallow on one nighters? What does it signify?

Delighted but scared

A.
It means you hit the Jack Pot. Some may scoff and label such a willing
creature to be too promiscuous; down right slutty. Then again, it takes
two to tango; two to be naughty enough to give it up on the first “date”.
 When a woman swallows you, it means she accepts you completely;
she REALLY likes you. She’s a keeper 😉
 


Feel free to send me your questions. I never use a person's real name, so fire away:

drdot@drdot.com 

x

Dr. Dot 

Hackers are fucking cowards

A person I know, who I thought was  a very close friend, finally confessed to hacking my email, myspace and even bank account. I simply can not find it in me to write a sweet, funny, entertaining blog right now. I have so much to write about but can not find the right energy. I am floored. The lies, the deceit.. it has actually made me physically ill.

 First they said their "friend" did it. Then they said THEY asked their friend to do it, then finally the big truth, that THEY actually did it themselves. They showed me the proof, showed me conversations I have had per email, on myspace and told me exactly how much I have on my bank account. What the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people have told me to "change your passwords!", I appreciate the help and advice, but that does NOT help! I used to trust this person and they have been on my lap top, so they had the chance, if they wanted, to install trojans, spyware, etc, to open ports and shut down my firewall. They have access because I use wireless etc, they may have installed a key logger even, so they can read EVERYTHING I write, anywhere, online. They told me how they did it even!! Guess it helps them look in the mirror; helps them sleep. They even tried to tell me they did it as a FAVOR to show me my system is not secure. I have to buy a MAC, which I will do in a week or two.. 

It is sick that you can't trust anyone. "I am a rock, I am in Island"

 

I hope I wake up out of this shock soon as I have a lot to say. I hope this shit never, ever happens to you.

Undecided

 

Question: What do you think would be easier to forgive: Your lover cheated on you with another, or you found out a CLOSE friend (or lover) hacked into your email and has been reading it for a few months..

Would you forgive them? Could you forgive and forget? 

Back in Berlin

Omg, been so busy it's insane. Just got back from London, where I was since last Sunday massaging Simon Cowell, who is by FAR my all time favorite massage client. I will do a blog about London and the Rod Stewart show I worked at but I have to sleep a day or two lol..

Jasmine is in NYC and I am so nervous I can barely sleep, so that is adding to the sleeping disorder here.. Berlin is freezing, damp and dark (when I go to bed it's dark, when I get up it's dark).  One good thing about that is you don't have to worry about sun damage to your skin Cool

Frank Zappa’s Inca Roads butchered by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"This is the only Frank Zappa song, that I allow"  Anthony Kiedis, singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers (extremely over rated band)

If you can figure out what the fuck he is saying, please let me know. Sounds like "this is the only Frank Zappa song I allow to exist" but he wouldn't dare say that, would he? 

 

Sigh. Jasmine leaves for NYC on Sunday, I leave for the UK shortly after. Lots to do, little time to do it. I still have to write my Rod Stewart blog and pack. 

I saw the Temptations in concert tonight. Came in at half time, missing the Four Tops 🙁

Great show but they played in the Tempodrome, which has the WORST acoustics in Berlin. Shaped like a big TeePee, all the sound echoes and sounds shallow, it's really bad. Anyhow, gotta get some shut eye, will write more asap.

  

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and speak out in defense of this priceless wildlife sanctuary.

Thank you for helping to protect America's Arctic from reckless
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