Steve Vai tears up NJ

This just in:

My family (Dad's side) down in Georgia just called and they said they won #1 place in the corn bread competition and 10th place (out of 300 hundred applicants) in the annual Stone Mountain Chili Cook off!!!!!!!

Lisa is down there with them raising hell and they are so ecstatic they took a giant trophy for their corn bread! They call themselves the Killer Bee's Chili team and they compete every year at this Chili Cook off down there. I think I will join them next year, sounds fun. They told me there were several cover bands playing at the all weekend festival, a Hendrix cover band called VooDoo was the best (my Dad said).

From left to right ^ My Dad's sister, Aunt Caron, her son JC, Aunt Nancy (Dad's other sister + favorite Auntie ), Allyson my Dad's wife of over 25 years, My DAD :), Melissa (Aunt Caron's daughter + my niece) + the girl Kneeling is Chantel a friend of Melissa's who helps them every year at the cook off. 


So congrats to the whole Fam Damily for their cooking talents 🙂

Last night, the 28th, was 10 days after my tonsillectomy and even though I probably should have just stayed home and rested, I couldn't resist the call of the wild and went to  the Steve Vai show at the Starland Ballroom, in Sayerville, NJ, my favorite venue in the world. I used to work at like 2 concerts a week there and know the whole staff. This place is SO FUN to go to, I love eveyone there, the cook, the bar backs, the roadies, managers, they just all rock.

Everyone always hangs out in the kitchen and cracks jokes. I warned everyone that I would be coming but couldn't speak loud or much thanks to a hurt throat but that plan went out the window, I simply  had to speak and catch up with my old friends. One friend in particular was in dire need of some tender loving care. Two weeks ago, Pauls wife of one year gave birth to their first child, a baby boy.
The wife died 4 days later due to complications from her c-section. So he is beyond gutted. I couldn't massage last night because my Doctor said you can't workout or work for at least a month after a tonsillectomy but I brought one of my best massage assistants with me, Koree, to be there to massage anyone who needed it at the Steve Vai show and so I treated Paul to 30 minutes of massage from Koree, who has hands of steel, like butter, I love her. Paul LOVED his massage and felt a little better, the
poor guy 🙁


Paul is a massive Dead head and always has the Dead or solo Garcia playing in the kitchen, even during shows. He just cranks his stereo up louder to drown out whatever act is on stage lol

 Nick is a fucking NUT ^  I love him madly. He makes everyone who enters the Starland Ballroom howl with laughter. 

  < I know a few people with that tattoo

It was great to see the "mad fiddler" again, Ann Marie ^  I am just kidding, she is a violinist..

When Steve introduced the band on stage, he mentioned how he "stole her from Jethro Tull" with a sharp laugh. It is true, I asked her. She was touring with Jethro Tull and then auditioned for Steve Vai and instead of doing the next leg of the Jethro Tull tour, she joined Steve on the road and the rest is history. This woman is so talented and gorgeous, it's hard to take your eyes off her when she is on stage. She challenges Steve during the show, her violin, his guitar, it is amazing to see and hear, absolutely mad!

The Bass master, Bryan brought his parents and introduced them to me. He looks just like his Mom. The NJ native was beaming all night but you could tell backstage that he was missing his cutie Kira Small, who is on tour with her band at the moment. 

Zack is young fresh guitar blood. Read about him by clicking HERE 

Steve is giving this 20 year old guitar genius a chance to shine by letting him open for him at every show and even invites him on stage every night for a number or two. Frank Zappa did the same for Steve when he was 20, plucked him fresh out of the Berkley School of Music. So I guess Steve is keeping the faith and sharing his spot light with Zack as Frank did for him. What a man Steve is. Zack showed me all the movies he has made on his lap top and I am pretty sure he will end up a movie director one day, as he is amazing at it.

Speaking of Lap tops, everyone on Steve's tour except for Bryan Beller uses an Apple. I feel so old fashioned using a PC still. I have to get a Mac I guess to keep up with the times. Steve said PC's are crap compared to  Apples and he said Blackberry's are junk compared to the iPhone. Why oh WHY did I just order a new version of the Blackberry (the Curve). I wish I hadn't now that I have seen how fucking cool the iPhone is. Oh well, maybe I will just give my Curve to Jasmine and get a freakin' iPhone next. 

 I got to spend a lot of one on one time with Steve before and after the show, yay. He showed me his iPhone for about 20 minutes and it made me loathe my Blackberry with a vengeance. He showed me how you can type in any address and zoom in on it with the satellite and we found my house and saw it on his phone! He is indeed Mr. Gadget. Love the pic he gave me ^ I think I will have it framed in silver and wear it as a necklace charm. 

We talked a lot about Frank Zappa and his music and his son Julian, who is currently in Massage school, inspiring to be a member of my massage team. That would soooooo rock, having a Vai on our team. I have yet to meet Mrs. Vai, maybe next time. I hear from everyone that she is as sweet as Steve is.

Steve has a great sense of humor. Somehow we got to talking about my sex column and I told him about the time a woman wrote in asking for advice about how to hide her farts on long weekends at home with her man. Steve said "Farts are like God's joke on us". He fucking cracks me up. I ordered a fart machine and had it shipped to my pal Christin's house, who will see him up in Boston in a few days… she will give it to him for me. I can't wait to hear how he reacts.

  Steve trying the Bite Method on me ^ ?

His famous guitars  ^

 During the show, as I said before, Steve introduced the band and directly after, he said "Special thanks to my friend Dr. Dot for coming out tonight to make us feel good, give a hand to Dr. Dot everybody" and he pointed at me on the side of the stage (I was next to the sound/monitor man Roger). Oh my God, I was NOT expecting that and blushed ten shades of red. 

Steve is by far my favorite client, there is no other artist that sweet. He is the absolute fucking bomb and that show last night was brilliant. It was PERFECT.

After the show I was soooooooooooo hungry, it has been 10 days since I've had a real meal and I couldn't take it anymore and nibbled on a tiny piece of pizza; chewed it REALLY good and got it down. That tasted so good I ate the whole thing. It took me about 30 minutes to chew it all, but I got it down and man it felt good. SO it looks like I am pretty much healed now. I still have a sore throat but I am on the road to recovery 🙂


Steve Vai leftovers ^  🙂


We were talking about my Tonsillectomy and he told me about his when he was 6 years old. He said the first thing he asked for when he woke up was Potato Chips. He said his Mom called the Doctor and said "Doc, he wants Potato chips!!" and the Doc replied "Aaaah, then give him Potato chips"
LMFAO!!!!!!!! So he got Potato chips. This is one tough cookie.

Steve noticed I was finally eating and offered me his left over pasta which Paul, the cook whipped up especially for him. Whole wheat Ziti Pasta with bits of Tofu  and red & green peppers and zucchini  coated in a Balsamic Vinegar sauce. I am in fact eating Steve Vai's left overs as I type this and man are they yummy. Heh heh. He ate most of the Tofu though..dam him! heh heh


 < random video bits ( Video leftovers)

Steve Vai tonight :)

So it's day 10 after my tonsillectomy and I finally got 7 hours of solid sleep. I needed it bad. My throat and ears still hurt the most when I lie down, but when I am awake, just my throat hurts. I am soothing it with honey dew melon, luke warm water and cold soups.

I simply can not pass up the invite to go see Steve Vai tonight in concert. He emailed me personally and so I am going there in a few hours. I won't be doing much talking as it hurts to talk but I will be all ears for the Guitar God. It is GORGEOUS today in NYC. It rained last night, hard core, so today it's crisp, clear yet sunny like the perfect fall day. Slight breeze makes it even better. I will go for a tiny walk, as I am feeling as soft as warm jello. This pisses me off as I love to stay in shape and now it will take a while until I am firm and fruity again I suppose.  Undecided

But I am hoping all this HELL was worth it, as my tonsils were keeping me ill for over 2 years. I can't count the times I was on antibiotics and I always felt tired and had a sore throat. I am counting on feeling much better now that my infected tonsils have been junked.

Anyhow, back by popular demand, more puppy pictures from friends of mine in the UK, a family I hold very very dear to me.



Recent pictures of NYC, Weehawken and Hoboken, NJ

 Ok, 8 days after surgery and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can only sleep for 4 hours max, then due to ear aches & dry throat from the surgery, I wake and can't fall back sleep, but I have been getting a lot done nevertheless. Look at all the blogs I have been writing Kiss


Some of these pictures are a few weeks old. The one above, from left to right, is of Tom, Jeremiah & my uncle Jack (my late Mother's younger brother). They are obviously flaming gay and call themselves the "Sears of Gay" since they are from the 'burbs of CT. They have been together for 19 years (maybe even 20 by now) and are legally married. Now they have reached the pot of gold at the end of every gay rainbow and have adopted a baby. He is cute as hell and actually a blood relative. 

My cousin Crystal, who's Mother Irene is my late Mother's younger sister is her mother. Anyways, Crystal already has 2 healthy children and decided to make their dream come true and allow my Uncle and his husband adopt her baby; they were even there to cut the cord. I suggested they call Ophra, but then again, in conservative CT, it may be unwise to cause a fuss. 

Jeremiah gets all the love he needs and Tom is the dotting "Mom" so to speak and can barely wait to get home from work to show his son loads of love and attention. They are great parents. Funny thing is, when we all go out to eat, I catch myself putting lipstick on at the dinner table, you know, after eating and looking in my pocket mirror for food between my teeth, self absorbed behavior and I look around and see people watching me and imagine they must be thing "what an ignorant Mother! She has barely given that kid any attention all meal, the poor men have to do all the work!". Then I have to giggle and think , if they ONLY knew the situation.

It's also funny walking around with them as people stop and want to say "the baby looks just like…" ha ha. What a gas.  

Obviously Jeremiah is inspired by my many "foot on tour" pictures and has pulled a copy cat move here in Hoboken ^

 The view from Weehawken is also breath taking. I was thinking, Jeremiah is gonna have to grow a thick skin. He is half black, has white parents, who are both male and gay and his name isn't exactly the kind that blends in. I hope he takes karate lessons before he hits the 4th grade. The part of CT they live in is predominately white and conservative like I said. Oh well, it is his destiny to open minds; to rock the boat Innocent



So I am sitting here sipping pure cranberry juice and listening to the Who's Quadrophenia. I was inspired to hear more Who by my friend Justin Kreutzmann. His father is the son of the Grateful Dead drummer, Bill. Justin is a film director and just sent me a dvd he directed for the Who called 'Fragments; fan club dvd'. It is amazing. 

Justin said he would someday direct my "how to give a massage" dvd that I have been dreaming of making for years now. That would rock if it happened. I wonder if  I could convince Sting to keep his word and be in my dvd. Or I could ask Simon Cowell, I bet he would do it 🙂

Justin works full time for Pete Townshend, filming and doing whatever.. great job to have, or?  

Aaah, Jonesy . It was SO GREAT to hang with Jonesy again. He is one of my favorite people on earth. Talent oozes out of every pore of his. He is a singer and stand up comedian. He  was singing "I keep forgetting we're not in love anymore" by Michael McDonald when I took this shot. He sounded EXACTLY like the original. Jonesy can morph into anyone he sings. He can do Aretha Franklin and sound just like her, seriously. When I first met him, I walked into a karaoke bar and heard "Misses, misses Jones" (you know that great song?) and wondered which black dude must be on the mic. I came further into the bar and it was a short blonde guy from Boston. That was about 3 or 4 years ago and we have been best buddies ever since. I can NOT understand why he isn't famous yet. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay funnier than Dane Cook. I predict he will be the next Jim Carey. Mark my words. 

Brooke is a karoake DJ at Iggy's in NYC. She is 24 and an Opera singer so I have no idea what such a gorgeous girl is doing hosting karaoke. I love going there on Monday nights as you can sing ANYTHING as it's not so crowded. Jonesy, Danny and I were whipping out such crazy tunes. I sang Rocky Raccoon, Happiness is a warm gun  and Back in the Saddle again (none of which I ever tried before). Those were the days, when I could go sing karaoke 🙁  I wonder how long I have to wait to (1) sing karaoke (2) give head after this tonsil surgery. I really wonder. 

Danny and I ventured out to sing with the "Super Karaoke Fun Time Band" in Jersey City.

They were supposed to start at 10pm and only play until Midnight so I was rather annoyed that they played 20 minutes of them jamming (mainly cool Stones tunes). I mean, us karaoke whores were DYING to grab the mic and sing with the live band so it was torture just listening to them heh heh. If I want to go see a live band, I will go see Steve Vai ok? I went there because the bar was hosting Live Karaoke.

After 20 minutes of them jamming (which I figured out was them just pulling off a sound check while on the clock) Danny and I got to sing some songs. I sang Back in Black, Dirty Deeds and Helter Skelter. Danny sang I touch myself and YMCA, which he did NOT sign up for; I signed him up secretly and he was not amused, but still pulled it off well. Singing with a live band is waaaaay better than normal karaoke.  I filmed Danny and he filmed me, but it was too dark in the tiny shit hole, so I had to scrap the material, sadly.

 Fet once again, made our photo shoot fantasy come true by photo-shopping Danny ^


Even shopping with Danny is fun. I am such a fag hag. 

I was walking down Washington street in Hoboken the other day and thought to myself, these ^ guys look so old school Hoboken (home of Frank Sinatra and  supposedly the birth place of Baseball (but I can imagine Romans playing stick ball WAAAY before America was even discovered) 

Typical scene on a week end night in Hoboken outside the Path train station, girls waiting for a taxi ride home..

sweet. I LOVE Hoboken.

ps. Steve Vai emailed me today and asked me for my home address. Wonder if he is sending me a get well soon present? I will definitely drag my ass to his show on the 28th (tomorrow). I can't miss it! I will just have to keep my mouth shut backstage and not say too much, as it hurts to talk.. it's a big challenge for me (being quiet 🙂 

Preparing for a Tonsillectomy

Day 8 after surgery and it still feels like I gargled razor blades and drank lemon juice and tobasco sauce directly after.  Catherine went home 3 days ago, then I had Danny (anal ring toss) stay with me for 2 days in case I needed help. Danny and I raise too much hell; we laugh too much, so I asked him to leave me alone to suffer again. Which make me think of a list of things to warn people who are preparing to get a tonsillectomy. A check list for them; things I have learned that could maybe make things easier for someone else. 

1) Go shopping before and get baby food but NOT applesauce, as it has citric acid and burns like hell. Plums went down the best. Get soft bread, chicken soup and baby wipes. Baby wipes are helpful the first week as we are not supposed to shower, so they are good for wiping the offensive areas. Get vitamin water (I am guessing they only have those in the USA) and "Power-c" is the best one as the others have too much citric acid. You need to drink more than just water to keep up your electrolytes. Get a min chalk board or scetch pad to write on so you don't have to speak the first few days at ALL. But some Cloreseptic Throat Spray as it's s good to numb the pain, but only after like 5 days, as the first few days it's too sensitive for such a spray. Get anti-nausea tablets ahead of time, as your Doctor could be a slacker like mine and not write you a prescription. These pills help when you can't eat but need pain pills. Trust me. 

2) Avoid ice cream that is dairy based the first 3 days as it clings to the wounds and makes  a mucus and it's already difficult to sleep as it is. Pear sorbet is good as the others (strawberry or orange ) burn like HELL.

3) Tell everyone you know that you are having the operation and ask them NOT to call you for a week as speaking hurts. The dumbest thing in the world is CALLING a tonsillectomy patient after their operation. They can't speak as it hurts like HELL!!!!!!!!!! Have people text your or email you and get back to them when and if you feel like it. 

4) Find a serious friend to look after you, post OP. We all have goofy friends and serious friends. Choose the serious one to look after you as they will understand that laughing and talking is not an option and will have their head on straight and hopefully be dependable for you, like Catherine was for me.

5) After a few days, gut a piece of bread (discard crust to the birdies) and zap some chicken soup broth (mushed carrots that come in chicken soup are great too) in the microwave for 20 seconds and take it out and tear up the soft bread and let it absorb the soup. Once it is completely cooled, slowly chew it and swallow. This was the best meal I had so far since this whole thing started. It is hard to slowly chew as I am so fucking hungry my body wants to wolf it down, sigh. That reminds me, I lost 10 pounds already but am starting to feel soft in the middle, like my Pooh bear. I can't work out so I'm getting soft. ugh! Which brings me to number 6..

6) Work out as much as possible before the operation as you can't exercise for WEEKS after. Eat really healthy (well, always anyways) the last few days before the OP as you won't be eating well for ages. 

7)  Gargle with salt water every couple of hours after the surgery to help my throat heal faster, and it seemed to work real well. Just take plain old table salt, preferably the iodiized kind, mix it with warm water, and gargle with it for at least a minute every couple of hours, or as often as you possibly can. It tastes like shit, but it really does help your throat heal up faster. And be sure to drink as much water as you possibly can so that you keep yourself hydrated

8) Those Slim Fast shakes or any protein shake that you like help after a few days, as they keep you loaded with vitamins and liquid and taste great.  Like drinking a meal.

 9)Shower right before you check into the Hospital. You won't be able to wash for a few days.

10) Honey dew and  Cantaloupe melons seem to go down just fine (at day 7). I am sure they would go down earlier too. It is hard to get enough vitamin C during this whole ordeal, so this is the fruit I found to be the easiest to eat


Well, that's all for now, but when/if I think of something else,  I will slide it on in here asap.




< Schwing!

A reader agrees..

"I have read about your struggle with healthcare in the USA. WELCOME to the USA where money comes first over peoples lives and familys. I am an American who left the country and will never go back (to live). Our healthcare system is driven by money, profits first…people second. If they get you out of the hospital ASAP they can wheel in the next person behind you. The more operations they do the more they get paid. Doctors in the USA get wined and dinned by drug companies to recommend certain drugs to you.
In countries like the United Kingdom, Germany and France the healthcare system is not run to make a profit, its run by the government. Because of that they have no alternate motive to perscribe you drugs and do as many operations as posible. Its a system run to make you better not make profits, If you have ever experienced the systems in these countires I am sure you would agree.
Lets not even talk about our gun laws…how can we justify the way we are living? Micheal Moore is the conscience of modern America. Sadly America is a sinking ship our economy is also going to fail :(. I fear its too late to turn things around.
R. " 

Tonsillectomy day 6

Today is day 6 after surgery and I didn't sleep but one hour last "night" thanks to ear and throat pain. I can't get comfortable… Some people will enjoy reading about this, not many, but some. Probably people thinking of getting the same operation or people who have suffered through it.

I had Catherine drag me to my Doctor 3 days after surgery and asked him to look at me, if it was normal to be throwing up so much etc. I had to wait about an hour in the waiting room, ready to keel over, looking rather light green. Finally he had time for us, Catherine being my voice. He was bitchy at us, like how DARE we question him, that all this was normal. I can not believe they fucking send people HOME two hours after such an operation. Even if you give birth in the usa, they send you home that day. That sounds ok if all goes well, but it seems they want to keep ya movin' in this country.

I am DYING to get my hands on Michael Moore's new dvd, think it's called Sicko. All about how fucked up the health care system is in the great ol' USA. The government can afford $10,000 per minute (or isn't it per second even? ) on arms, but god forbid if you stay over night at the hospital. Anyhow, my Doctor was irate that we asked him for anti-vomit nausea tablets. He said he has never written a prescription for them, ever.

Thing is, if you can't eat and barely drink, your belly is bare. You pump pain killers and antibiotics into it, and it's not a pretty sight; you will blow chunks and you don't really want to be puking if your throat is so tender from just being gutted, now do you?

I feel for everyone who has ever had this shit done.. my heart goes out to you, as I know, it is hell. I am up, since over 30 hours now, can't sleep… just passing time until it heals.. sounds counterproductive I know…

Simon Cowell (American Idol) called last night to say "Hi". That really made my night. I could barely talk but he could hear me. He said it (the operation) shouldn't change my singing voice. YAY!!!!!!!!!!! What a nice guy huh?

I guess I have to back out of going to see Guitar god Steve Vai in Manhattan tomorrow (well, today now, the 25th). I just couldn't enjoy myself, what if I bumped into someone or vice versa and my throat started bleeding? I couldn't have fun, no 🙁

HOPEFULLY I will make it to the show on the 28th in NJ. Trying for that, really I am.  Oh, I finally gave into the call of Haagen Daas, and it felt great. I don't suggest it the first 3 or 4 days, as it clings too much to the throat. But after, it is a treat to try some 🙂

ps. the old fashioned instructions the Hospital gave me to take home says "after 36 hours, you can begin a soft diet: soup, gelatine, flan, APPLE PIE"  wtf!? Let me ram some PIE down my delicate bloody, well, pie hole. NOT. 

More moaning

Throat and ears feel infected and this is the first time I have been out of bed for hours. I have been spitting large globs of blood and feel like dying.  Wish I never had this operation. I can't eat so when I take pain meds, they make me throw up. Luckily Elizabeth brought us anti-nauseous tablets.

Throat is literally on FIRE.

Me= Miserable.


Click HERE to read an interview I gave to

Tonsil HELL – continuted

Yesterday I was in severe pain and notice on my pain killer bottle that I could take "one or two tablets every 6 hours" so I decided to take two. BIG MISTAKE.
I grew pale and got that tickling feeling in the belly and my friend Catherine caught me each time I vomited, as I faint every single time I puke. I HATE IT. I hate puking. Not that anyone likes it, but I fall all over the bathroom and end up lying on my back sometimes with puke in my mouth, which is dangerous. I get so freaked out when I have to vomit.
I faint and it takes me minutes to come to.  I wake in a sweat and it feels like I was out for hours. Puking is not good with a freshly operated throat.

After a few hours of vomiting and fainting, Catherine called the ambulance. They were too busy, so they sent the sheriff to bring us. He had his sirens on, running red lights and all, I was in too much pain to laugh, but I did find it humorous in a twisted way. Not so funny though when we arrived.
I had to wait over 30 minutes until they finally gave me medical attention. Waiting in the waiting room was no fun fyi, why? Because we don't speak SPANISH.
The TV was on a Spanish station, everyone there was speaking Spanish and it was all extremely loud.
I found the energy to turn to Catherine and whisper:
"what country are we in?" which wasn't meant to be funny, but it made Catherine laugh out loud. But seriously, Spanish is the main language in the usa now, but I don't fucking speak it (yet).
Guess I will have to learn it.
After a few hours of lying there with an IV shoved in my veins, we took a cab home and today my throat feels 10 times worse.

HOLY FUCK this pain is the worst I have ever had. I feel bad for Catherine as I am boring and miserable right now. BORING. Lying around in pain. She is a great friend indeed.
I have no appetite at all. Can't get enough ice water, but it hurts to swallow each time.
I am sorry to moan and whine, but I wish this was over with ASAP.
Steve Vai is playing in 4 days, I have to get better, I want to see the show !

 ps. Good news is Joanne Harras of the NY Press sent all of my checks, yay! And I have gotten loads of emails from confused NY PRESS readers, asking me "where is your column!???". They are shocked and sad. Like me. Oh well, there's always the blog, I will keep posting Ask Dr. Dot weekly, as soon as my throat heals (will it ever?)