Ask Dr. Dot

Feel free to ask me anything. I always change the names, so no need to be shy…

My column, "Ask Dr. Dot"  can also be seen weekly at:

WWW.NYPRESS.COM

and   www.nyrock.com

and www.exberliner.com    

 

Q.

I was wondering why my girlfriend always gets bladder and urinary tract infections.
 Do you think she is fucking around behind my back? Is it me she is allergic to?
This happens to her like every couple of months so I just find it hard to believe.
Pessimistic Pete


A.
It’s common for women to get those. Smashing the tip of your cock into her clit
(which is
directly above the urethra) forces bacteria up into the bladder and urinary tract.
I know men do this in porn flicks, so men think it’s a smooth move, but it can
cause females many trips to the gyno. Also, hopefully she already knows that wiping
 front to back is healthier than wiping back to front (dragging all that nasty
 bacteria from the back door to the front is a recipe for trouble) ditto with
sleeping in a thong. Make sure you wash your hands with soap and hot water before
 you two do the wild thing as well. Now you know she is prone to them, help her
prevent them. If she was fucking around behind your back, she would come down with
 much worse things than a balder infection (if she was dumb enough to go bareback that is).

Q.
Last year, I was 38, and for the 1st time ever, a woman took a liking to me, and
invited me over one night.  Before this, I had never even held a female’s hand. My
life has always been so lonely.  So the first night, she totally seduced me and I
tried to resist but eventually gave in. I have never been so scared or excited in
my whole life.
This went on two weekends a month, after midnight as not to disturb her 2 children
(single Mom).
I was never happier, but lost in a magical world of confusion.  Her life changed,
 and she could no longer be with me, but my love for her was/is too overwhelming.
She seemed to be the girl I’ve always dreamed of but now she changed, pulled the
love rug straight from out under me.
I was gutted. We still chat online, as she is going through a tough time, but I
miss her and our dirty romps. 
 I have no friends to confide in, so I turned to the Internet.  I made friends,
 poured out my feelings on a forum, and a lady who was going through the same thing got
to know me and since Feb we have had chats and cyber sex on a daily basis.  We both
 lost control it feels, and she is as much in love with me, as I was with my ex-g/f.
  But she lives in another country.  She will not leave there because of family
(she is a single Mom), and I don't feel ready enough to leave here.

I still love my ex but she has no intention of a relationship.
Do I run and hide from both?  Do I move to the woman who has already proposed 3 times.
The online sex is amazing, but we started this at a time when neither of us was thinking
 clearly.  The poor lady is lost without our daily chats.  I feel for her, but if my
relationship failed so fast here, what chance does moving country really have?  We have
never even met.
 Both women are mistrustful and viciously jealous, and as much as I crave companionship,
I don’t want to hurt anyone.  What on earth have I gotten myself into? I feel totally
 out of control.  Like a small child, out of his
depth in love/life matters he has no knowledge of.  I feel like a cheat, a liar, dirty,
used, afraid and lost.

Lost in Cyber Space Sal

A.
Online romances often lead to huge disappointments. I don't know ONE happy couple that
 met online. The internet has a way of making things looks better than they really are.

With an online romance, there is no trash to take out, no grocery shopping, no monthly
 bill discussion or bad breath in the morning. No farting under the covers, no expensive
 dinners, it's JUST the foreplay part of the relationship, which is what makes it so
 appetizing. Even if you meet the person you are fondling yourself for on web cam, and
 the sex is indeed great, you will eventually go home again and maybe think "wow, that
 was amazing" but it's still, not reality! You have to live in the same area, separately
 and date for a while before you really get to know someone for real. Then, and only
then, can you build a proper relationship. Even long distance relationships are hard
as when you visit her or vice versa, one of you will have A LOT of free time as you will
 be "on vacation" but the other one still has their normal routine (work, shopping,
and housework) and they will feel overwhelmed with this visitor up their ass 24/7.
Point is, I think you should wean yourself off of your online pacifier, no matter how
 hard it is, as it is just a waste of your reality time! Use the experience you learned
from the other indecisive woman who lives near you as a way of chatting up new ladies.
Now you KNOW the game, go and use the info to your advantage.
Go out to pubs (never mention this crazy shit you have going on to new ladies fyi)
  or go take a yoga class/aerobics class and meet new women. If they ask what became of
your "ex" say “she moved away” end of story.
You are not alone; this society breeds lonely people who nurse their lonely hearts
online. It's not BAD, but it's not reality. You only live one time so get out of the house
 and meet some REAL people near you. Moving doesn't sound like a bad idea either, but
 never move for/to someone, just do it because you want to.

Q.

I am tired of failed relationships. I try everything (cooking all the time,
 dressing nice, letting them move in, buying them nice presents, doing all
the house work, etc)  to keep them around, but it never works out, what do
I have to do to keep them around?

Lady Jane

A.

NOTHING. Don't do anything you wouldn't normally do, be yourself. If they still
come and stay, it will last longer. Some people put up a false front when they
 meet someone new. This is unwise, as sooner or later the real you will come
through and the change may be a shocking let down. In fact, a woman who gives
too much makes a man feel strange and could encourage a lazy & ‘take you for
granted’ attitude. Just be yourself and sooner or later, some one will adore
the real you. Putting too much effort into things is exhausting and when you
tire, it could back fire. And as I’ve said many times before, lots of oral sex
and laughter will make anyone more desirable.

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