Ask Dr.Dot (Cougar trend/ condom battle/ Al the ass-man)


Q.
Why do all the best men end up with bitches? My husband and I have a male friend who is the
perfect guy; he’s handsome, has money, is smart, ambitious & treats women perfectly. Over the
 last 5 years I’ve seen him be screwed over repeatedly. He attracts moody, selfish women; of
course in the beginning they’re nice. Quickly the worm turns & they mistreat him. This guy is
a very confident, successful business man. It pains me to see such a great man wasted. All
these bitches use him like a credit card. Double dates kill me! It’s not fair because some of
 my girls swoon over him but he’s always taken by some slut and of course being the man he is
he is very loyal, doesn’t flirt. Should I intervene?
Meddling Mary

A.
Ever heard the term "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen"? A lot of men LOVE to be treated
like that. It turns them on. It's a challenge. I am not defending the woman you are
moaning about, I'm trying to remain neutral here. You say they are usually "sluts". Hmm, I wonder
 what could possibly keep him around? Dirty, hot sex perhaps? Women who have the upper
 hand are usually very confident, and that’s a huge turn on for most men. Not all men
want an agreeable, good girl. As hard as it may be for you to witness, that is what he
chooses and one can not change a man. Maybe someday he will get tired of the demanding
 divas and snap up one of your "girls" but I wouldn't hold your breath or get involved.
Count your blessings you have a blissful marriage and that
you’re out of the dating game.

Q.
I'm getting divorced after 22 years of 'bliss'. My wife and I are like oil
and water. I haven't changed since she met me.  I’ve the same
interests; the most important one is a need for a loving sexual bond with my mate.
 I'm very physical. She’s never been, though at first she put on a good act.  She prefers
 intercourse more than anything else, and loathes oral.  Very rarely in our years together
 has oral sex been something that she wanted; to give or receive either! All my other
 girlfriends before her, including my first wife who could cum at the drop of a hat orally
 and otherwise, loved the way I licked their pussies.  My nickname is "Spock" because
my ears had been pulled in ecstasy so many times. I recognize that there is a technique
 that most men really can’t master. This is what I’ve been told by dozens of women over
 the years.

From the many articles I've read on the subject, it seems that often times, women who are
self-conscious about the way their box smells are typically the ones that hesitate to have
 their lovers go down on them for fear of grossing them out. I guess since taste is about
 75% smell, they also figure that their pussy tastes bad as well. I LOVE the way pussy smells,
 tastes, looks, feels and even sounds!

That old joke 'once you get past the smell, you've got it licked' never made sense to me.
I totally love inhaling the scent of a woman! As I said, it adds to the sensuality.  I don't
think it has a damn thing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, the inside of a woman's pussy is
typically cleaner than the average mouth, when it comes to bacteria.  

Bottom line question: in your experience, how common is it for women to loathe their
partner practicing cunnilingus on them, and why?

Bobby Brown (“watch me now, I'm goin' down.”)

A.
Licking pussy is like a lap dance for your taste buds? Lovely. But if your partner
doesn't like it, you can't force her to spread 'em. Most women do enjoy it, the first few
months, but may grow a bit bored of the same old thing; even if it's heavenly genital licking.
 I am well aware of the fact men couldn't
imagine getting bored of head, but women can. If sex becomes routine, women tend to get a
"headache" or a mysterious second period that month. I hope you aren't divorcing her just because
 of her lack of sexual appetite, as that same thing can happen with other,
women as well. If your mind is set on divorce, try to avoid getting married again and/or living
together with a woman if you thrive upon a sizzling sex life. I don't give a FUCK how hot
you/they are, seeing someone ALL the time, sex will get boring and even spectacular oral becomes
 routine. Marriage and living together are so overrated and old fashioned. Sure, it's good for
raising kids and trimming your taxes, but even that can be done successfully while living
 separately. It all depends what your priorities are; family, sex, free time, money, etc. It’s
 hard to have it all and as cliché as it sounds, absence still makes the heart (and genitals)
grow fonder. Last but not least, some women simply don't enjoy having their twat licked out.
Some prefer to give and feel guilty getting pleasure and some ladies are too nurturing and kind
to tell their partner "I've got a spot that gets me hot, and you ain't been to it!"

Q.
I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage.. During the entire 25 years,
I (we) never used a condom. I now find myself 'suddenly single', and the women I've
encountered insist on a condom. I completely understand the necessity of their use.
However, I just can't seem to move past the awkwardness and loss of sensation with their
use. In fact, I hate them!  Any suggestions?
Withering Willy

< Jimi Hendrix's cock, immortalized in plaster, thanks to Cynthia Plaster Caster

 Jimi found a way to reman hard forever

A.
No one likes them, not even us girls. Have the lucky lady suck on you while you unwrap
the condom. Say "do us a favor darling and keep me in your mouth while I wrestle with
this thing", make it fun and they will. Hopefully she will give you good head while you
get it ready, then quickly slip it on and slip in her as fast as you can.
It would be best to give her good oral, no, GREAT oral before the condom is even mentioned,
to make sure she got her fun before you possibly loose the nerve. If you go soft while
wearing the condom, try to make her cum with your mouth or hands and then wank off
onto her breasts or face…It may take time to train him to get used to the ol' wet
suit again I'm afraid. Find a girl to be monogamous with and perhaps you can ride bareback again.

Q.

My son is 21 and he is dating a 38 year old woman. She looks great for her age; very
youthful and she is fun, and I understand why my son loves her, but I can’t help but
wish she would just disappear and let me boy enjoy his youth. Should I just ignore this
potentially hazardous relationship or try to wake him out of this puppy love?
Mrs. Robinson

A.
When a person is 21, they can and will do whatever the fuck they want. You can buy him a
copy of the film Harold and Maude and hope he get’s your point, but as long as they are
both happy why make waves? The more you mention it to him, the more you will drive him
towards her. He has many years to experiment and fool around; she should be the worried
one, not you nor your young ripe son. Rather than trying to fight the Cougar trend, try
to love him unconditionally like a parent should. What will be, will be.

Q.
Ok, here is my problem. I love women. I love women a lot. Maybe too much. The problem is
that most women can only get me excited one time and one time only. I look at them completely
different as soon as the act is finished. I don't even want to ever talk to them again.
I feel horrible. Like I am a bad person. I am 40 and see no sign of slowing down. Any
idea why I feel this way? Am I a fucking asshole? Am I a freak?
Johnny Apple-seed

A.
I feel the same way sometimes. You aren’t a “bad person” in fact being “fruitful and multiplying”
is what being a man is all about, genetically. I am sure a lot of people feel that way,
maybe not to that extreme, but a tad, it’s just they can’t do much about it, as relationships
and social responsibility renders the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ routine. As long as you are
completely up front with your conquest before you dive in, and they are cool with your motto,
why beat yourself up over it? Maybe someday you will meet your match and fall in love. Hopefully
 you are using condoms as you could get a nasty unpronounceable disease and/or knock someone up
which would surely slow you and your unquenchable appetite down.

Q.
In one of your recent columns, you told a girl to avoid anal sex if she was against it. I think
she should try it, I know a few bitches that let me fuck their ass, and they don’t mind. Don’t
be so close minded. Anal is great.
Al the Ass-man

A.
I am thrilled that your bitches put up with you pounding their asses, now I can sleep soundly.
I told “Exit only Alice” to avoid letting her persistent boyfriend screw her in the ass if she
was against it. Had you took the time to read it thoroughly, you would have seen she was afraid
and against the idea. I don’t see how men who haven’t tried receiving anal sex can be appropriate
pro-anal cheerleaders. Have you ever been fucked in the ass Al? If so, did you like it?
Did it hurt? Come on, don’t be so close minded. Anal is “great”. Wouldn’t want you missing out on
any of the “fun”.

 

 

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