Q.
My husband turns 42 this year and he's become this insecure person. He was never like
this very insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at times high strung. We have sex 5 times a
week sometimes twice a day. He brings up my first long term relationship up constantly.
This past relationship was 23 years ago, lasted 2 years and I was only 17. I have been
married to my Husband for 17 years and now this is coming up in conversation constantly.
My first relationship was HELL, we hardly saw each other and all we did was fight and
I chose to forget about it a long time ago but he keeps bringing it up because the fuck
I was with took my virginity and my husband feels it was Memorable, but not for me because
it was basically forced and at that age and you put yourself in stupid situations.
I don't think there are too many women out there that say what a beautiful experience
it was losing their virginity. I am sure there are some but not the majority. My question
is how do I get him to get past this? Or is it something I have to live with? Should I
let him go and maybe he can find himself a “memorable” virgin to deflower? I don't want
him to tear me down to bits so I feel tainted while I am married to him. But I don't
know how much more of this I can take-please advise!!
By the way LOVE YOUR COLUMN-IT IS THE BEST!!!!!!
Tainted Tammy
"Like a VIRGIN" my ass
A.
The Bitch gets sex more than 5 times a week, even after 17 years of marriage
(this must be a world record) and yet he is still “insecure, withdrawn, needy, and at
times high strung"? What a spoiled prick. Dogs, like Men, are on their best behavior when
they want to be fed. Keep his "bowl" half full, as in; keep him hungry for you and he may be
a bit nicer to you. Being TOO nice to men, giving them TOO much sex doesn't make them love
you more, it can have the opposite effect, it can make them ungrateful, lazy and it can turn
them into monsters. Sure, they all say they want sex everyday, but then there is NO challenge
and they feel they have all the power, like yours; he feels so powerful that he picks on you
about something that happened decades ago. Ask him "are you that fucking bored?” Tell him you
are done talking about the past and it’s killing your sex drive to the point where you don't
want to fuck him anymore let alone several times a week if he keeps up this bullshit.
He is probably unhappy about other things, like turning 42, and no matter how much pussy he gets,
it won't make him happy, only he can make himself happy, so stop trying so hard to please him,
you are only making it worse. Sometimes when people are miserable, they actually resent folks
being too nice to them as they subconsciously feel they don't deserve it. In other words, he
doesn't deserve all that pussy if he is being a wanker. Good luck with that, I would tell him to
be nice and drop the past or move the fuck on as he obviously doesn’t know how good he has it.
Q.
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she loves me very much. Making
love is like unbelievable; we both have a great connection and 80% of the time
we both orgasm together. Though it seems like every time she is on top of me I
can’t seem to hold an erection for more then 5 minutes. In fact when I feel my
self losing my erection, I switch positions right away. I have never ever had
this problem with other woman before. One thing I noticed is that she gets very
wet and usually cums two to three times, and literally drips gulps of fluid. Do
you think it's her fluid that is making me lose my erection? I can’t understand
this. please help me.
Wet Willy
A.
You say it didn't happen with other women, so it could be her dripping wet pussy
gets too loose/relaxed to keep your cock hard. It is a compliment that she gets so wet,
so be sure not to whine about it, just take your hand from time to time, and wipe
her pussy (ask her to lift up for a second and wipe her). Your dry (clean) hand will take
enough excess fluid away to regain some resistance which you surely loose when it gets so
slippery, hence you loose your stiffy. If your hand isn't enough, then you should keep a clean,
soft rag around to sop up her juice from time to time; mop that baby up and keep going as a
juicy girl is good thing.
Q.
I recently found out that extremely attractive wife (we wed 1 year ago) has been working for
an online, sexy web cam chat thingy. One of my work mates found her and actually paid her for a
chat (he claims he was just checking to make sure it wasn’t full nudity, it’s topless). My
wife and I had a giant argument about this and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it, but I want
her to quit. I feel World War 3 coming on, please answer fast.
Nervous Nate
A.
You can’t force her to stop so try to think positive; those girls can earn loads of cash, they
never meet the men they chat with and it’s good for her ego; getting told she looks good will
boost her confidence and sex drive. Plus, she is obviously grooming herself well, so she will stay
looking hot for you too. Women do those things for two reasons (1) Not enough income (2) They
like to be admired and looked at. It could be worse, she could be stripping in a club, where men
can meet her and maybe even touch her. So count your blessings, your double income and be happy
you married such a sex bomb you lucky bastard.
Q.
A few years ago, my wife was attacked and
robbed in a bar she worked in. Her and the
manager were stripped and left bound and gagged
for hours until they were able to work themselves
free. She said she was "fondled slightly" by the criminal,
who she has described as "not unattractive."
She says it could have led to rape although it didn’t,
but the probability of it kept her wet!
Ever since that incident, she constantly referrers to it
during our love making. She admitted almost
from the day it happened that she was aroused by
the entire thing and masturbates while
thinking about it and she says she cums the hardest
while thinking about the ordeal while we screw.
Now she wants me to tie her up and re-create it.
I refused. I'll talk about it, but not this.
She now calls it an "erotic encounter!" It was a crime,
not an encounter or a fantasy. It makes me very upset.
How can something like this be arousing? I'm concerned
that she has some type of personality disorder.
What do you think?
Disgusted Dan
< Dead Boys style
Rape fantasies goes waaaay back. ^ The painting above by 'Rubens' was done in 1618.
A.
It's common for people to find a sexual way to look
at drama in order to digest and deal with it.
Had your wife been violently hurt and still wanking over it,
then perhaps she has a screw loose but if she was just stripped,
gagged and fondled perhaps that turned her on. Imagine you were
stripped and gagged by a hot female thief? Try to put yourself
in her shoes. If this is the only thing that makes you think
she could be nuts, I’d let it slide.
She is just a pervert in bed and lord knows there are loads of
those around.
There is no way to change her way of thinking and the more you
tell her it's sick or wrong, the more forbidden and naughty it
will get for her. Why not tie her up once and act it out, just
to shut her up and make her fantasy finally come true.
Even people who have never been raped act it out in the bedroom
as a fantasy.
Try it once then tell her later that you are getting bored
reliving her “encounter” and you want to play out one of your
fantasy’s now and don't sugar coat it either. If you can’t beat
‘em, join ‘em.
Q.
I have a perfect BF who treats me great but I have taken advantage.
For the last few months I have been a vicious shrew to him. I said
some really cruel stuff that I didn’t mean!. He is still with me but
the twinkle in his eye has gone, and I can sense he’s lost his
confidence. He used to be so funny and full of life. To make things
worse, the hot bartender at our drinking hole has noticed our relationship
sinking and she now flirts with him in her slutty clothes; last time
we were there she was really pushing it, I know she wants him. He goes there
on his own sometimes, what can I do to stamp my mark on him again? She
wasn’t sniffing around before when things were perfect. My eyes are starting
to water now thinking about it. I care about him and want to make it up
to him. How can I get him back to his normal self? Why did I act like that?
Flirting with Disaster
A.
Don’t worry about “getting him back to his normal self”, you need to
get back to normal. Sometimes we use our partner/lover as a whipping
post, we forget that only our parents have to love us, anyone else
can (and will) walk away if you treat them badly. Perhaps you are drinking
too much caffeine? Caffeine can make people very edgy and bitchy.
Think hard about your habits and routines and see if you can find any thing
that is contributing to your bitchy behavior. Some people get too cozy when
they are being treated well. They start to get high off of the power of
having the upper hand in the relationship and they just take advantage,
like you were doing.
Write him an honest letter; keep it short and sweet, tell him you are embarrassed
for being so evil and ask him if there is anything you can do to make it
up to him. Don't go over board though; just start being sweet and grateful
right away. Massage him, give him loads of oral and let him do most of the
talking for a while, and give him some space. When he reaches out, be there,
be kind and if you two are meant to stay together, things will be like they
used
to be, sparkle and all. Now about the hot vulture. Never mention her to
him and vice versa! That would only make them gravitate towards each other.
Start giving him amazing, really long blow jobs, take your sweet old time,
and sit him naked on the corner of a bad, kneel down on a pillow, naked on
the floor in front of him, make sure there is a mirror in back of you, so
he can see you from behind while you blow him and lick his balls,. I doubt
going to a bar would be on his mind anymore. Dress sexy around him, red dress
, cleavage, STOCKINGS.
Start doing fun things with him, tell him the bar is starting to bore you,
bring him bowling, out to karaoke, anything that would keep you two out of
that bar and be fun! (try to do this transition slowly, so he doesn't think
you are going over board).
When you see the bitch at the bar, be really nice and friendly to her and
tip her a lot, it's harder for a girl to steal another girl’s man when she
is "friends" with her.
< Be VERY nice to Pretty Bartenders
Q.
I am dating a guy, since 3 weeks now and he keeps talking about his ex.
He has shown me many pictures of her, some nude ones as well, and she is
fucking gorgeous and it makes me feel inadequate. Now that I think back,
most of the men I have dated have
pulled this shit. I am always polite and give compliments, but inside I
want to (a) rip up the cunts picture (b) knee the guy in the balls for showing it to me.
How can I stop such ignorant behavior without coming across as insecure or bitchy?
Sick of it all Sally
A.
It’s ridiculously easy to get pictures of giant cocks online. Craigslist is
famous for having people post nude pic’s of themselves. Find a picture of
the biggest cock you can find, hell, most guys who have monster cocks are
happy to send them to any curious female
(or male for that matter). Print it out (or save it on your computer) and
when a guy shows
you pictures of his hot ex girlfriend, show him the monster cock and say
“well, this is the
only picture I saved of Dan” (< insert any name). That will shut him the fuck up.
* feel free to send me your questions and don't be shy, I ALWAYS change the names.
He even went so far as to have painted his crappy bike a light blue (shitty hand painted job to disguise himself while on the get away vehicle).
