Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

I am only 18 and I have a few questions that I am afraid to ask anyone else. Go on and laugh if you
will but what is the sticky white shit in the bottom of my girlfriend’s panties? I investigate them
(read: scratch and sniff) when she is in the bathroom or on the phone. Smells nice, but is that her
cum? Also, I am afraid to go down on her, it looks so scary and I am afraid I may do it wrong.
Curious George



< VooDoo Butter undies. (NOT mine by the way)

A.
The "sticky white shit", you mean, her clitty litter? That is her juice, nothing to be alarmed about
 unless it looks like cottage cheese and scratches her snatch every chance she gets. First of all,
there is only one way to find out how to lick her correctly and that’s by doing it and stopping
every once and a while and asking her "like that?". Don’t do the man thing and drive around for ages
 without a map and without asking for directions, just ask her. Make your tongue nice and wide and
lick her like a cow licks a block of salt is a good way to start and keep in mind "real men eat pussy".

Q.
I enjoy your stuff.  I love sex, and have related with lots of women, but
I’ve found during my life that sex can have a profound downside.  I’m
wondering how you address the following issues inherent in sexual
(Particularly multiple partners) relationships:

Pregnancy (and potential child support obligation for many years into the
future).
Emotional upset.
Physical violence; even death.
Disease (herpes, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc).  Suppression of the immune
system caused by intimate exposure to many women in a short period of time.
Legal charges ("rape", sexual harassment, etc). This is not a joke.  I’d really like to know
 your views. And keep up your great work.  I wish you’d been around when I was a
teenager!
Aussi Al


A.
My views? Here they are:
1)Pregnancy: You said "sexual (particularly multiple partner) relationships", so
this means you are not tied down but if you choose to fuck a woman without protection,
you are playing with fire and if you get her knocked up; I feel it is your responsibility
to help Mother and child until the child turns 18. If you feel that is unfair, where a
fucking condom.
2) Emotional Upset: Eh? Who is upset? You? Her? Everyone when they find out you like to
play around? You are being rather vague here. Emotional upset is to be expected from
time to time, unless you are able to shut off all emotions or if you are German.
3) Physical Violence/Death: Hmm, starting to think you are into scary shit. Naturally I
am against violence and I’m not fond of Death either.
4) Disease: Again, where a condom and be careful about who you suck on.
5) Legal Charges (rape, sexual harassment): If someone doesn’t understand the word "NO"
then they deserve what’s dished out to them. Women should be avoid dodgy situations and
men should really take the hint when she says "NO" be it verbally or with body language.
 Something very unpleasant happened to me when I was 21, on an overnight train from Paris
 to Madrid. I take my responsibility in the situation for traveling alone at night. I
 had been with a girlfriend, but we parted ways in Paris. Just like a deer is on thin
ice while in the Lions territory, women should take precautions by avoiding things like
traveling alone at night, leaving her drink unattended in a bar/club or going to men’s
hotel rooms/homes when she doesn’t know them well. It’s life, there are predators and prey,
 learn to deal with it.


Q. My young, hot girlfriend makes me buy her expensive lingerie but I hardly ever see her
 in it. When we make love, she is usually naked already or wearing boring white panties.
 Do you think she is selling it? Should I confront her? Don’t want to be pushy, as she is
the boss for sure.
Big Spender


< Have her dress up for you regularly

A.
Sounds to me like you are being played. She is probably wearing it for some other lucky
fucker. Speak up and convince her to wear it for you. Ask her to allow you to choose what
she will put on for you before you screw. Tell her you want to dress her and quickly take
inventory, then you will know if she sold it, is just too fucking comfy to bother or worse,
 wearing the good stuff for the other guy.

Q.
My girlfriend keeps asking me if I find her girlfriends sexy. She says shit like “would you
do Joanne if you could?” or “Isn’t Sophia sexy?”. In fact, I do think her friends are fine,
and would bang every one of them had I the chance, but why would my girl ask me that? Is
 this a sign that she is a tad gay? Is she hinting around for a threesome? Could this be the
best girlfriend on earth that allows me to say whatever I want or is this too good to be
true? Thoughts please Doctor D.
Paranoid Pete


A.
Watch your ass Pete, you are being lead into a (literally) booby trap. Just smile and say,
 “none of them are as gorgeous as you babe”. If she wanted a threesome, she would start one
or ask you for one, but this sounds more like her picking your brain to find out if you would
fuck around with her friends. If you admit “yeah, I would love to shag Sophia silly”, you
 will be under close inspection, even if it’s unwarranted. Take the high road and save the
fantasy talk for your buddies or there will be hell to pay.
 
Q.
I have two questions; hope that doesn’t make me sound needy. I am 21 and I love fucking my 25
year old boyfriend, and yes, we do use safe sex. I am really attracted to him and he is great
in bed (giant cock, very generous, lots of stamina) but what I don’t understand is why my pussy
dries out after about 15 minutes of sex. I am turned on as hell but dry. Second problem, how
 the FUCK do I avoid pussy farts?

Dried up Butter Cup


< Keep within reach at all times when your lover is around

A.
You say you use safe sex, so I am guessing it’s the condom that is causing your snatch to evaporate
 so quickly. They some how rob us of our juices, wiping the walls of your pussy dry with each
stroke. Try to use lubricated latex condoms. Avoid lambskin condoms because they don’t block
HIV and STDs. Always keep a water-based lube near the bed, as oil based ones will melt the condom.
 Pussy farts usually occur in the doggy style position,  or when the cock stuffs air up your hole
like a bicycle pump, just try to keep him in you, rather than having him come all the way out and
avoid arching your back when you do it doggy style, air sneaks in easier like that. Keep your slot
 nice and tight by Kegeling ( Pussy Pilates).

NYC/BERLIN/MANCHESTER blog

 

Taking a step back now, back to December, in NYC. I know, it's taking me ages to blog lately,
but I have a lot of things going on, lots to juggle indeed. NYC was amazing;  it's still my
favorite place on earth. 
I filmed my Ask Dr. Dot column for an internet radio show but who knows if that will ever take
off or not.  People come to me daily with "great ideas" on how to make me rich/famous, get my
 books and ideas out there. They all talk SHIT!
It was good practice, as now I am  thinking of how to make a Pod cast for my column. Only thing
holding me back is the fact that I would have to spend even MORE time online (my poor ass
doesn't want to be sat on that much). I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it.
You get the picture.

  < Rite Aide

Even though NYC is one of the BEST places on earth to go out and party, my friends and I try to
find healthy, fun things to do instead of always hanging out in bars doing karaoke and shaking our
asses. Rite Aide and CVS are open 24/7 and so you can shop whenever you fucking want to without
anyone rushing, pushing, nagging, etc. We end up in these places very often and well, we like to spice
things up by pushing the envelope. My ass needed some air, so I let her out and started a trend amongst
my pals. It was a big rush of adrenaline, seeing how far we could REALLY go without getting caught/arrested
for indecent exposure.

My Gay friend Danny and I raise extreme amounts of hell, and we don't even need alcohol

to do so. We are naturally high. We had to ask a stranger to take these pics, he wanted some

cash in the end and we were like "ok, check's in the mail fuck face".

 

 

Our mutual pal MAX shot this tiny video in Rite Aide on New Years Eve. Well, it was actually

in the wee hours of New Years Day come to think of it. NAUGHTY!

This was really CHEEKY! ^  I am on a bench, in front of the Hoboken Town Hall, and in front of their Nativity

scene. Tsk Tsk, what a disrespectful wench.

 ^ Ok, that plunger idea was mine. Too bad he kept his undies on 🙁

It's REALLY fun riding in those carts; the place was packed so this shot was difficult to pull off without many

people seeing the ASS.

Funny thing is, I met Danny AGES ago in a Rite Aide, buying a stupid amount of Cotton Balls at 4am. Long story.

My friend FET made this Thong with the Wind movie poster, that's what friends are for 🙂


Daryl is my NYC massage rep. She runs the show in that area when I am away. I trust her BIG TIME,
she is so incredibly honest and ambitious and amazing at what she does. I now have 3 reps on my
team, Daryl, Catherine (Baltimore) and Roddy (London). They work their way up to that position
and it means they are extremely dependable and trust worthy and basically the best at what they do.
That guy there in the pic, Don, is a myspace friend. Sometimes when I know I will be in a certain
area, I post a bulletin and say "lets RAWK! Let's karaoke!" and I meet some of my myspace pals.
Don is a really cool dude. We all went to some cheesy Asian karaoke bar cause my favorite place,
IGGY's (upper East Side) didn't have it that night, the night I ask all my myspace friends to come
sing with me if they can (Normally they have it 7 nights a week but
they didn't that night so I was flappin'!)

Daryl and her "friend" who looks like Tiger Woods. Daryl can sing her ASS off, I was amazed!!!!!  People come up to

that guy and ask for his freakin' autograph on a regular basis. He REALLY looks just like him, it's bananas.

Even though Iggy's was closed the one night, it didn't stop me from going back. I LOVE that place, it is a fucking freak show!

This one guy brings his freakin' Chinchillas in there while people sing wicked loud (karaoke). I let them crawl all over me

(not the guests, the Chinchillas). After touching those little critters, I have to loathe anyone who wears that kind of fur. MEAN!


I got to see one of my best pals,  Jonesy and his gal Barbara at one of my favorite restaurants "44X10".
It's called that cause it's ON 44th and 10th. It's fucking LOVELY, the food, the service, the drinks,
the staff. PLUS you can park free on 10th ave after 7pm. What more could you want?
And of course, it's NON smoking, which is heaven on earth for me. Jasmine and one of her best pal's
Rachel joined us: those girls!! Also pictured above, Mechel and I and her pal (Mechel is the one wearing
the skull & cross bone shirt) and you can see Danny lurking in the back ground. He was nervous being
in another "Breeder" bar (as in, not a gay bar), but he survived.

Back in Berlin, Shai, Danielle and I go out and sing from time to time. I usually have to play body guard and shoo the men away, as those

two are too nice. Not the case with me. Heh heh.

Of course the convo usually leads to oral sex and this time they wanted me to show them what I meant ^ (don't ask)

 < Shai singing some country song that mentions "Wal Mart" repeatedly

I can't BELIEVE I still have that fucking shirt. I bought it in NYC at Trash and Vaudville in 1984!! No wonder I'm not a millionaire yet,

I gave out a fortune in Beatles and Stones shit over the years. That bastard cost me $80 and I've never worn it.

OK, I massaged Shai, then Alex, then they got crazy on my massage table ^  They are NOT shy.

I went to Manchester, England on Feb 10th. I was so excited to go there and hang with my friends and Vicki
(dressed as a man here) organized me going on a Music related TV show called "Manchester City Social" or
something to that effect. The night I landed was pure chaos. The place I was supposed to stay at, well,
the guy changed his mind and said "not tonight, but tomorrow" which left me in the fucking shit. Vicki
offered me a place to stay at her place, but it's really small and she and her room mate already had guests
staying there and so I had to move my shit to another random renters house, a guy named Keir who was mad
cool, but the room he rented was FAR from dark and quiet like he said it would be, in fact, I doubt a place could
be any fucking LOUDER!.

Anyways, Vick, Will and I went to the party, the party in which women were supposed to dress as old men
and men were supposed to dress as old ladies. Didn't sound very fucking appetizing to me, so I came
dressed normal and luckily didn't get turned away for showing up without a costume. The party was great
and Vicki rapped on the mic, freestyle for what seemed like hours, she is born to entertain and she
is getting her own radio show very soon, and personally, I think she belongs on TV, she is so fucking
funny. She sings and has a song called "Don't fucking touch me on the dance floor!" which I am SURE
would go over very well in the states, as I personally hate dancing in America, as the men think it's
ok to hump you raw on the dance floor, some even sandwich you like a piece of lunch meat.EW, fucking EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sad thing is, they do it cause the girls LET them do it, so they think it's ok to do that to every
snatch they see. Wrong fucking answer.

    <  Too much touching on the dance floor

 

As you can see, most dressed up for the party.

^ Vicki's breast made a special appearance



This is at a bar called Siam Orchid Lounge (Portland ave). It has karaoke 7 nights a week!! So basically, it's the Iggy's of Manchester. Lots of rowdy fucking

red necks (but the Mancunian accent makes them kewl). It takes for FUCKING HOURS to sing here, so bring lots of time and money

as it's also very expensive. I suggest drinking at home, then going here and drinking water. Their wine SUCKS ASS (screw off cap). It's

great for karaoke, but the food and drinks here bite, get my drift? It's a karaoke-whore hang out. I found it horrifying that they didn't have ONE

James Brown song in their song book. WHAT THE FUCK!? Are you kidding me? Bring your own karaoke cd's to be on the safe side. heh heh.

ps. It's smoky as FUCK in every bar/pub/restaurant in the UK. I can hardly wait for the smoking ban. Amen.

^ Pauline went and washed off that make up and took down her hair. I didn't even recognize her at first. She is a

KNOCK OUT! (she is from Scotland and her accent is so charming, oh LORD!)

Another myspace mate of mine, Jed. He helped me with my bags, helped me get the hell out of Manchester. I

left in a hurry as the guy who found the last place I stayed at seemed to think it was ok to ring my door bell for hours,

sneak into the building and bang on my door for ages and follow me down the street even when I said I don't want

to talk to him, so in some sense,  he was stalking me. I am a drama magnet. Holy FUCK!

Vicki and I went out after I filmed that TV show and we ate at a place called  Wagamama.

It quickly became my favorite place to eat in Manchester. I ate there several times.

Yummy as HELL!


 

< Video I made of that expensive HOLE I stated in
 

 

A tiny video I made of that OVER PRICED shit hole I stayed in for 5 nights (it was 300 pound for 5
nights, which is like $600 and it isn't even a hotel, it's a flat that has no internet, mold in the
bathroom and pubic hairs all over the bed. Fucking EW!!!!!!
The bar above, Churchills, is on Canal Street, the gayest street in the UK, which the fags nick named
"Anal Treat" (they altered the sign, so instead of Canal Street it's ANAL TREAT). Anyhow, even hetro's
hang on this street as it's hoppin' 7 nights a week and Churchills has karaoke tues. thurs and sunday
nights. Vick and I went in there and the Lesbo's were really into my leather pants.
One even started waltzing with me in the ladies room. I belted out some James Brown and I have to say,
the sound is the best in that town for karaoke. Loved it there. Their song book is a foot thick,
they have it ALL.
Overall, I found Manchester to be EXTREMELY expensive. I had to drag my lap top to Starbucks every day
and pay 5 pounds an hour to check my emails. A cup of coffee is like 3 pounds ($6) and to ring a friend
on a cell phone, it usually cost about 4 pounds for a quick chat. I don't see how English people survive.
Sure I know a lot of stars, a lot of rich folks, but the normal people I hung with were so broke, they
couldn't PAY attention,  I mean NO ONE has ANY money there, no one! Really sad situation.

The Germans better fucking count their blessings (6 weeks paid vacation per year,6 weeks of paid Sick Days,
cheap health insurance etc) as the English have it HARD compared to how cushy it is in Germany. I bet the
UK will fall to pieces if they fall prey to converting to the Euro. I doubt they could survive that blow.

Also, the streets and shops and bars are dirty there (Manchester). Litter everywhere and even the canals
were loaded with trash, it was fucking nasty. Sorry, but I have to be honest here.I didn't see ANY grass at
all, barely any trees and it stunk like garbage.
A great town to go party if  you are rich, but there is a lot of fighting there as well, very hostile drunks
 there (and I mean the WOMEN!). Yes, The women, well, they need to put some fucking clothes on, and no,
I am not being prude, I mean most are so fucking chubby and ugly and yet wear things 8 times too small
for them and they parade  around the streets like that in the FREEZING, wet weather. No matter if it's snowing,
raining, freezing, they refuse to wear coats, they want to make it as EASY as possible for the men to look
at their bodies.

I can't understand why 95% of the people there walk around without a coat on, are they numb? Dumb? Drunk?
Afraid of losing their precious coats? Can't afford one? Or all of the above? Please, fill me in on this,
so I can peel my jaw off the floor. Call Jerry Springer, he needs to have a Manchester based show.

Now I know exactly where they got the inspiration for the popular UK comics THE FAT SLAGS from!!

Some crazy fucks floating around that town I tell ya and I was MADLY disappointed at the lack of rock and roll.
Everywhere I went I heard shitty "music". I was shocked as I thought great music came from that area. I
was hoping to at least hear some Oasis, Happy Mondays or James or so, but no, just cheesy bubble gum
techno shite that would make the Spice Girls sound like Led Zepp!
Next time I go there, I will do massive research as to where to REALLY go for some good music. The TV
show I was on had 3 amazing acts on it, I couldn't believe my ears. So I know there is talent there,
but where they fuck do they play/hide?

I guess it's the same in every major city, if you hang out in the tourist center of town, you will get CHEESE.

 

 

 

Me at a tiny English bus stop ^                      and a tiny video I made of the country side ^

On my 7th day there, I decided it was time to escape. I was thinking of staying 2 weeks but the place
I was staying at fell prey to a stalker and it was getting so expensive, the whole trip cost me more
than 1000 POUNDS (that's $2,000) and for what?
I still don't know the answer to that. A very special friend of mine came and rescued me, he drove me
to the South of England, near Gloucester and I got to see the lovely country side (Prince William lives
a mile from there). THIS is the side of England I love, countryside, fresh air, polite folks, no litter,
rolling hills of green, cute pubs and loads of land to walk around on, undisturbed. I guess I prefer the
country side over the big cities. The ONLY big city I love is NYC, litter and all.

 "There's no place like home"

(but where is home? "Home is where the heart is. On the bus")

Ask Dr. Dot

Q.
I met this great guy on an online dating site & we really hit it off.
We are just dating and it’s fresh, we both still have our profiles up,
and I know he goes on it everyday (the site shows when you last logged in).
I guess I can’t blame him if I am doing the same, right? I should leave it up,
mine, or take it down? I don’t want him to think I am that type of girl
(scanning around- even though, I do!). I am practicing self-protection b/c
I sense that he might still be ‘shopping’, even though we really do connect.
I hate that I can see that he checks it everyday! It makes me more cautious.
I have dated and chatted up some, but he is the one I like. I have been a
player and been played, so I know what we are all capable of.. sometimes
I think it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time, ya know.

< Keep your options open

A.
Definitely keep your profile up until he suggests that you both delete your
pages and date exclusively. Until then, do like they did in the old days and
"play the field".

 

Q.

I’ve recently got in to a relationship with someone I met at school and even though I’m
not a fan of committed relationships, (only because most of the time they start off great
and then seem forced after a while, like a task of some sort) for whatever reason I
thought he and I would get along lovely. Well, as it turns out… he is very similar
to a few of my ex boyfriends…he’s moody, and a bit insecure….a big turn off for me.

We’ve been dating for a little over a month and recently after a few drinks
he wanted to let me in on a few things….basically through out the night he had bitten
my lips, and even bit my cheek MUCH harder than usual….so hard I got really pissed off
for a minute or two…there have been times when he’s pulled my hair and shit like that,
which is cool sometimes…but something was different last night.

We were getting into bed and he said that he was a bit of a "pervert" and needed to have
 a different kind of sex and he needs me to be rougher with him for him to get off. His
 exact words:  “choke me, bite me, slap me, and degrade me” he was afraid I would think
 he’s weird. I assured him I didn’t think he was "weird" and that it was just his thing
 but not mine. Usually I’m the "kinky" one in a relationship and I do enjoy the occasional
 pulling of the hair or some love bites, but the stuff he’s talking about scares me.
Our romps often leaves me with painful bruises that I’m not sure if I like or not. He
 really freaked me out when he
 said he wanted me to curl up my fingers into a fist and just literally punch him
as hard as I could. I don’t know what to do DD, you have to help me, I don’t know if this
 is something to end a relationship over but if we’re not compatible in bed…I don’t know
 if  there’s a point to go any further than just friends.

Fear of Fisting

< Some people love pain

A.
He was probably sexually and physically abused as a child, and this abuse makes
him feel "at home" and so he needs/wants it.
I would be afraid, you never know what he may do to you, and he may take it too far
one night and wanting to be punched in the face, especially during sex, is sick.
You say he is moody and insecure, which turns you off, so it won’t last forever
anyways.
Forget about hurting his feelings, you need to think of yours first.
This guy needs therapy, not pussy or a punch. I would cautiously get out of that
relationship before you start needing therapy too.

Q.
I met this guy and we immediately hit it off.  We spent a great first date having
 lunch.  We talked and laughed for hours.  Then it was off the city for
 dessert. We kissed and it was perfect!  I didn’t want this date to ever end.  The
 following weekend we went out then again and spent
 the night together (simply magical) and the following day together.  He suddenly
 became a bit standoffish.  I didn’t hear from him for a few days.  I figured the
 guy gets what he wants, and I don’t hear from him.  Finally, he tells me that the
 day after we spent the night together, he had found that the ID in his wallet was
not where or in the same direction he usually puts it. He was accusing me of
going in his wallet to check his ID.  I was devastated that he would even think
that of me.  What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty? I told him I never
 went near his wallet, nor would ever think of doing so and maybe he put it back that
 way not realizing it and that it will happen again someday, and when it does he
will owe me an apology.  Nothing I could say would change his mind.  He said he
couldn’t trust me.  NO ONE has EVER said that to me. I know he reads your column
religiously, so I thought I’d write you for your thoughts on this.
 Innocent!


A.
It sounds to me like one of two things happened. He used this wallet escapade as a
quick get away, like a lot of city men do (as they don’t have the balls to say "I’m
 just not into you") or someone else, maybe even he, put the ID in his wallet the
wrong way. Nevertheless, he did you a big fucking favor by showing you how anal and
suspicious he is. Did you ever notice that thieves are always afraid someone is
stealing from them and how players are always afraid of being played? He should have
at least given you another chance, that’s why I find him
hard to believe. You should feel sorry for him, as he is clearly confused and paranoid,
but not so sorry that you take his arrogant ass back for another round.


Q.
I’m not sure how to handle this situation.  I am engaged to a woman who
used to have a 4 year relationship with another woman.  Everything
couldn’t be better with her accept I have a small concern which I have to
say does not affect how I feel about her I love her dearly.  I fully
satisfy her sexually, whether it be through intercourse, oral sex or a
good ol masturbation.  The intercourse is Great!!  She on the other hand
has given me maybe three blow jobs which she did not finish off, and one
hand job, during the span of almost 2 years. I don’t want to sound like I
am complaining and being selfish.  That is furthest from the truth.  I
THINK I could live without those things it’s just like missing out on a
bit of fun.  Now, we have agreed no intercourse until we are married which
is about three months away.  Again, I have satisfied her sexual hunger in
every other way, and she has not even put her hand on my member, so
needless to say, I am experiencing a bit of sexual frustration.  How do I
handle this other that coming right out with it.  "Why don’t you suck my
dick!?"  I don’t see that working to well.  I don’t doubt her love for me
at all, I just think she may still be a bit repulsed with the thought of
putting my dick in her mouth or jerking me off.  How do I tactfully deal
with this?

Sincerely

Blue Balls

A.
You confuse me; you say "The intercourse is great" then you say "we
have agreed to no intercourse before marriage". Wtf? She was fucking you
but now suddenly, no sex (apart from you licking her out on a regular basis)
until you walk down aisle with her?
What we have here is a woman who doesn’t appreciate your cock enough to do
to it what a cock loves the most, getting head. Asking "Why don’t you suck my
dick?" is a perfect question, it hits the nail right on the head, but maybe
you have to rephrase it a bit. I have said this before, but maybe you missed it, just stop
going down on her and when she asks why, say "good question, I was going to
ask you the same thing, why the lack of oral sex?".
3 unfinished blow jobs in 4 years, now no hot beef injections until marriage
  and you STILL want to marry her? Her pussy must
be lined with velvet my friend…..


…..Be a man and speak up about your normal,
healthy oral sex
craving and find out before you take the leap if you are in for a life time of
this one sided oral sex routine BULLSHIT. Sounds to me like you are settling.
If you marry her you may end up cheating to get your cock sucked elsewhere, so think hard
about this, you need to step up to the plate before it’s too late.

Q.
Marijuana has proven to be the best aphrodisiac for my spouse. I’ve had to
give it up due to random testing with my new job. Can you suggest any over the counter
products that would have the same affect? When we’re high, she’s also receptive to
experimenting with anal sex. Without cannabis, there is no experimentation.
Can you suggest any
other ice breakers?
Saucy Sam

< Dark Chocolate boosts arousal

 

A.
One should be able to get turned on and wet without having to smoke something
or pop any kind of pills. I am all for the good old fashioned aphrodisiacs, like getting a
nice, firm foot massage while I sip red wine and listen to some Jimi Hendrix (best music to fuck to).
And according to all of my girlfriends, a lengthily pussy licking always does the trick.

Q.
 I’m dating this girl and last night on my way home from a business meeting and I drove by her
 house (it’s on the way to my house from that part of town, I’m not a stalker) our subdivisions
 are close to each other. Anyway her long term ex-boyfriend was at her house. It was like 10 PM.
 That made me kinda nervous because I spoke to her an hour before that and she said she was in
bed and getting ready to go to sleep. So now I’m kinda bummed out. She called me a little while
ago this morning and she said she was tired and I asked her what time she went to sleep and she
said like 9 ish. I was trying to quiz her hoping that she wouldn’t lie to me and didn’t mention
that I drove by her house. I’m mostly bothered because I feel like she’s lying to me. It doesn’t
 bother me that she was hanging out, even though the ex bf thing makes me skeptical. 
How do I handle a situation like this?
You are my hero,
Pissed off Paul


A.

If she was in bed with him, sleeping, then she isn’t a liar, just a two timing cunt. Heh heh.
No, seriously it could be she is just dating more than one guy.
Since you are only "dating" I would keep my options wide open, (pun intended) like she is, and
 instead of wasting energy on someone you now know you can’t trust, take that energy and go out
and meet other girls. Is she really worth all the hassle?
If you DO decide to confront her, make sure it’s in person, so you can see her face and watch for
 tell tale signs of lying (pathetic shocked look on red face; going into extreme details and
having your questions mainly answered with questions). Be prepared for her to say she is seeing
other men but there is still no excuse for her lying to you and if you tell her how you know, she
will think you have been stalking her. I would just move on and play the field, but if you do shag
her again, make sure you have condoms with you.

Q.
                       
I have made a foe par on quiet a large scale. I was on the phone to my girlfriend of 6 months,
 as the conversation came to the end I blurted out ‘I love ya’… it wasn’t even ‘I love you’ but
 ‘ya’ . She promptly squeaked and we both hung up! I feel like such a fuck face, it’s such a
silly way to say those words for the first time, but it just happened.  It’s not the kind of
thing I say lightly at all; I really do feel it for her. I just thought when I told her if would
 be  a) a little bit later on b) in a much better way.
 My wonderful male intuition doesn’t give me much of an idea if she feels the same, or how I can
 come back from this situation with my head held high. What’s the best course of action?
 
Terrible Call Terry


A.
Be grateful she didn’t say it first, as that would be even more difficult. It would be best not
 to mention your slip up, just say it again the next time you two are doing the dirty. Rolling
 around on top of each other is a great atmosphere for professing one’s love. If she doesn’t
say it back but keeps dating you and everything else is fine, it could mean she is just the
type who takes her time with that. I know people who never say it and who could blame them?
 Actions are always more important than words in a relationship.

Q.
My wife reads you religiously and I need some help, I have a great wife who loves me to no
end and I have a relationship most would be jealous of, my problem is I am a porn junkie
dating back to before I knew her, She just found a bunch of adds that I printed from Craigslist.com,
 I never act on them or call any of the girls but I do email back and forth to them and she has
seen this. I love her with all my heart, we have a very active sex life 3-4 times a week and she
is always willing to experiment with me in the bedroom, we have been married for 18 years and I
am still very much attracted to her, I just don’t know why I am so curious to go back to this site.
Why?!
Junk Junkie

< Many men dream it, but only a few make the harem thing work

A.
Because you’re a man.

You didn’t mention her reaction. I think looking at porn is fine; communicating
with these girls from your past is rude to your wife. How would you like her keeping in touch with
 hot men from her past, just to be "friends"? Always turn the situation around and put yourself in
the other person’s shoes. Watching is fine, actively keeping in touch while married is pushing the envelope.

Q.
I want to try talking dirty to my boyfriend, as I like it when a guy talks dirty to me in bed. We have
slept together a few times already and unfortunately, he hasn’t even come close to dirty talk. He is 24
 and I am 21, and he is rather shy but great in bed. How do I introduce dirty talk in bed without
coming across as, well, a pushy, dirty whore.
Dirty Dana


A.
Get him to mount you, doggy style, as there is less pressure when you are not eye to eye and say
 "fuck me harder", see his reaction, if he goes with it, then toss in a few other lines
like "my pussy LOVES you in there" etc, and hopefully after a few rounds of you being vocal, he will
know it’s safe to try it as well. You may have to ask him to talk dirty to you, as some men respect
women so much that are hesitant to blurt out "you like that you dirty bitch?" to a girl. Say it
over drinks one night that it would really turn you on if he spoke dirty to you in bed, this will
give him a chance to tell you if he likes it or not as asking him during sex may make him feel
obligated and/or cornered if he really doesn’t like it.

< Inspires Dirty Talk

Massage in London

Just came back from Manchester, UK, will do a major blog as soon as I catch my breath… it was
a crazy trip, as usual..
Anyhow, meet our new Massage Therapist, Sadie. She can massage you in or around London
when ever you want a Dr. Dot style massage. If you are heading there or are already there and
want a massage, let me know
x

 

Hi my name is Sadie and I live just outside of London, England.
 I worked freelance in Illustration for a year after completing
a course at the London College of Fashion. To earn some money I
worked in the Banking industry for two years, but that was
 definitely not for me. I wanted a more creative job that matched
 my personality & interests.

I have always loved massage and decided to enroll on a course,
 I totally absorbed myself and completed last year in Swedish
 massage. I am now on an advanced course for Swedish massage that
specializes in deep tissue, and hope to go into Reflexology and
 Holistic therapy at the end of the year. I would also love to
study abroad for different massage techniques and therapies; I am
 always looking for ways to enhance my massage techniques and
create a more unusual and tailor made experience for the client.

I met Dot last year at a party and we got talking straight away,
 I was instantly inspired. I had never met anyone so focused and
 ambitious. When Dot explained the Dr.Dot team and gave me a leaflet
 I couldn’t wait to audition. I massaged Dot later that week and
 was thrilled and shocked to have been offered a place on the team!

 

Email me at info@drdot.com and write "Sadie/London" in the subject line if you want to book a massage

RIP Anna Nicole Smith

Many made fun of her, but I found her amusing and very fun to look at. She died a few hours ago and I was sad when I heard the news on BBC. Her little baby is now left alone in this world, that makes it even worse. Similar to Marylin Monroe in some ways, as in, blonde bombshell, seeking love from the public because they didn’t get it from their parents, I felt for her and think it’s a shame she died so young. She was a shooting star: beautiful, exciting and destined to live a hot but short life. Fame and money can NOT buy happiness.

RIP Anna x

 

Massage in Barcelona, Spain

Meet Carolina,
the latest Massage Therapist to join our ever growing team of healing hands.
You can read about her and see her picture below. Looking forward to helping
you relax,
x Dr. Dot


My name is Carolina and I´m from Valparaíso, Chile.  I moved to Barcelona in
2001 and soon began studying Natural Therapies. I have since completed my
 studies and I now work in Therapeutic Massage and specialize in Hot and
Cold Stone Massage, Lymphatic Drainage, Cyriax (deep transversal massage),
 Reflexology and Thai Reflexology, Infantile and Traditional Thai Massage,
 Craneo-sacra Therapy and Aromatherapy.
Before moving to Spain I studied journalism and, as well as doing my
Therapy work, I am also a freelance journalist for a health magazine. I
have worked backstage as a news reporter in concerts and art shows, so I feel
that I have a lot in common with Dr Dot. I  enjoy this work a lot, and
working as a part of Dr Dot’s Team means that I can now combine my two passions:
 music and massage.
When I heard about Dr Dot I wrote her a letter her asking to be a part of the team.
 I was then asked to give one of her assistants a massage and, well, the rest is
history! At the moment I am working in different places around the Barcelona and
Cataluña. For example, I work in a beautiful Health Spa situated on the coast just
south of the city and a Gym which is exclusively for females. I also have many clients,
 of different ages and back-grounds, whom I visit at their homes.
When I was Thailand recently doing a course on Thai Massage, my teacher in Chan Mai
used to call me “magic hands” – so I guess I was doing something right!

If you want a massage, email me:  info@drdot.com and put "Carolina/Barcelona" in the subject line and I will write back right away. 

Finally some spare time to write

I got caught in a massive hail storm today, while riding my bike from one end of town to the other. The hail pieces were the size of mento’s candy’s, like
huge, and they didn’t feel good pounding on my drenched face either, so winter is officially here. We have been getting away with fairly warm weather but
now Mother Nature is through fucking around.
Jasmine is on vacation this week, so she has been spending more time with me. She is SUPER cute. She reluctantly accepted an iPod for Christmas,
as she hates for people to spend large amounts of money on her, making her completely different from most kids I know. Now our iPods are loaded with the
same music, over 2,000 songs, which includes TONS of Beatles, Zappa, Hendrix, Floyd and so much Zeppelin, it boggles the mind. Lots of rare live stuff, oh
how I LOVE my iPod.
I am going to the UK again soon, I will be appearing as a guest on a music based TV show (don’t know the name of it off the top of my head, but I can assure
you it’s NOT "Top of the Pops" or anything big like that lol. Will also be meeting with some folks who may help me get my "How to Massage" dvd off the ground.
I have so many things I need to get out there, on the market (books,dvd, massage products, etc) but how? This is the question. It will probably happen when
I keel over and die. Great. Just like an artist, they always get rich after they die (like Picaso and Jim Morrison, etc). Not comparing myself to them, just saying
sometimes it takes SO long to fill your goals, sometimes it’s too long. What good would money do me when I am in a nursing home? Not that money is that
important to me, as for me, money just means freedom to eat whatever I want and to sleep as late as I want and most importantly, avoiding having any kind of
a boss bitching at me, as I had enough of that when I was really young. I don’t give a toss about material items EXCEPT my lap top, iPod, photographs and some
rock and roll t-shirts that I would fight for. Can’t STAND owning shirt., in fact, I wish I could sell most everything I own as things just weigh you down.
Don’t I sound like a hippie? Dam straight.

The cops still haven’t found that angry, aggressive German guy who knocked me out last week. I called and asked and they said to be patient. Since then I have
given up jogging after 10 pm and always have pepper spray in one hand and a stun gun (knocks ’em down with mega voltage) and I have my cell phone in my
pocket (if I had my phone with me when that fucker attacked me, I could have rang the police). Shoulda, woulda, coulda, that all doesn’t matter now.
I am still amazed my teeth survive all of these beatings from German men. Hello? God must be a dentist, admiring my pearly whites from up above.
Anyhow, I have been spending a lot of time with my two girlfriends Shai and Danielle, we laugh A LOT and stick together over here. I am just rambling on,  nothing
big to report. really. I massaged Joe Jackson last week, we then went to Zappa night at this bar called the Jansen bar that has a Zappa night the last Tuesday of
each month. There is a Zappa statue and they only play rare Live Frank Zappa and show some video footage as well. Joe liked the place, he said he likes any
place that has good cocktails and good beer (and of course, if he can smoke). I really like Joe, he doesn’t act like a star, very low key and actually kind of shy.
I think it made him uncomfy when one of my pals showed up and recognized him. But it’s all good now. I am hoping to massage Snow Patrol this Friday, but
if they have the same bitchy tour manager with, them, I will pass on that. Love their music though..
anyhow, gotta do some sit ups, keep it firm you know?