Meow

Jasmine and I landed in NYC safely. I haven’t slept for 52 hours. Going to slip into a tiny coma,

Happy Holidays and all that crap

x

Ask Dr. Dot (Should I rat him out?/ Sleep (and fart) alone/ Condon hater/ The Cheap way to bring in the new year)

Q.
I am in a tough situation and bet you can help. I was friends with this guy long ago,
and he got married and I became best friends with his wife. In fact, I get along with
her much better than I ever did him. Before I became such great friends with her, he used
to ask me to let him use my apartment to screw other girls. As time passed, this stopped
because he noticed that his wife and I were best buddies. Now it bothers me badly not to
tell her the truth that I know he cheats on her. He doesn’t treat her well anyways and I
just wish I could tell her he is not worth the stress he puts her through. I am afraid but
something inside me tells me she has to know. Do I tell her or not?
Stuck with the Truth

A.
Would YOU want to know if your man was cheating? Even though the truth will set you free,
it may well turn you into the enemy. The messenger usually gets shot. Some people are so
in love that they don’t want to believe the truth, even if you had photographs of him
cheating, she may find a way to deny it; to defend him. She may end up thinking of you
as the one trying to break up her marriage. What would you gain? Nothing. If she is meant
to find out that her husband is a lair, and then she will. What will be, will be. If she finds
out and knows you knew all along and asks why you didn’t tell her, blame it on me.

Q.
I can not sleep with another person. I don’t mean sexually, I mean literally. I can not
sleep next to another person. This has offended many a partner. Can this be corrected?
Sleepless in New York

Some people can sleep with others ^

One GREAT reason to sleep alone ^

A.
Funny you mention that, as I have the same problem. I can’t even sleep in the same room
as another person. You are not alone. In fact, I think it stems from being a light sleeper
and/or fear of intimacy. Face it, when you sleep next to someone, it becomes a habit. It
can make you dependent on that person when you equate them with sleep. For me it is more
intimate than sex. It could also be just not wanting to hear another person scratching,
tossing and tossing off, farting and snoring all through the night. There is nothing wrong
with you. Just explain to them sleep is a very personal thing for you, and since your mind
is so busy working on saving the world, it is hard for you to turn it off and any distraction
at all will disrupt your badly needed rest. If you are shagging your partner properly, they
shouldn’t mind where, when or how you sleep, as they will be too tired to give a shit.

Q.
I hate to use condoms, my cock goes limp when I put one on. I prefer to pull out right before I
cum, by how can I convince my new girlfriend to waiver the condom rule?
Raincoat dodger

A.
It is not her fault if you can’t stay hard enough for a condom, so it’s ignorant and rude to try to
make her screw you without one so you can get your rocks off. If she prefers safe sex, respect her for
that. Now about that pull out myth….
Pre-cum, which is that clear liquid that seeps out of your dick during foreplay and intercourse
has loads of sperm in it too. There is a high chance of some sperm left in the urethra mixing with
the new precum Even before you cum which can get her pregnant. You are playing with
fire if you screw without a condom on. An expensive, dangerous fire. Only if you are in a monogamous
Relationship for a long time, where you both had time to be tested for nasty diseases, you
trust each other, AND if she is taking birth control, should you have sex without one. This "pulling
out" method is a good idea, but is about as dependable as a wet paper bag.

Q.
How can I tell my new, younger girlfriend that her completely shaved pussy is grossing me out?
She is perfect otherwise but since she is young, I am afraid telling her may hurt her feelings or self confidence.
Mr. Fur Burger

  < Shaved is TOO much information.

 

A.
Perhaps you can say that shaved genitals remind you of shaved chickens and/or people who are too young to fuck,
 that it makes you feel like a pedophile. Maybe she even does it because she thinks that all men like it that way.
 I personally loathe shaved genitals.
When a woman trims it a bit, it looks nice, but when men shave at all, it screams out to me:
"I am vain and will spend more time in the bathroom than you". Not to forget the inevitable
stubble, which can make one’s clit and surrounding skin feel like it’s been rubbed down with coarse sand paper.
 I mean, how much time should one spend on their genitals? Wanking, washing,
shaving? Photographing them for internet chats? All time that could be spent on a good old fashioned fuck fest.

Q.

How can I show my girlfriend a good time on New Years ever when all of the parties cost so much money?
I am a college student and don’t have money coming out of my ass. Any ideas and suggestions would
be greatly appreciated.
Tight Wad Todd

+ @ =

A.
New Years Eve is so over rated, you rarely find the right place to be and you end up spending loads on
an evening you usually can’t remember. You can plan a sexy night for two without spending much at all.
But some strawberries, seedless grapes, bananas and cooking chocolate. Melt it and feed each other fruit
dipped in chocolate (fondue style) all night while sipping cheap champagne or sparkling wine while watching
all the fools free their asses off at the outside events. Make sure you are fucking when the clock strikes
midnight. That is the BEST way to start off a new year.

 

Don’t be shy, if you have questions, send them to me, I will always change your name to avoid people pointing and laughing at you.

Dr. Dot Live on WAAF fm tonight at 9:15pm EST

Tonight I will be a guest on WAAF (Bostons BEST Rock and Roll radio station) at 9:15pm EST (Boston time).

We are goign to talk about Massaage "Tonight’s question is Massage Etiquette..unusual stories during a massage. "

So, as you can imagine, I have a lot to say on the subject and lots of fun stories to share.. If you have any questions you

want me to answer, message me asap and I may just answer  it live on the air 🙂

Click   HERE   to hear our chat (you have to scroll down and find the link "Dr. Dot on WAAF")

 

Herbie Hancock is mad cool!

I have been ill since Halloween with Pneumonia but I finally got well enough to work again. My friend Nathan East, who plays bass (for many big names like Michael Jackson, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart, Bon Jovi,  Quincy Jones and loads more) suggested that I come to his gig in Berlin, as he is touring with Herbie Hancock now.

 

 
   

  ^Herbie is a wonderful person

The last time I saw Nathan was about 8 years ago when he was on tour with Eric Clapton. I massaged them all back then and was amazed that Nathan insisted on riding his mountain bike from the Hotel to the concert hall, which was MILES away and in East Berlin. It was already (it gets dark early in the winter).. but he was confident that he could find it and he did. He is soooo outgoing and fun. Nathan is a perfectionist and you can hear that in his music. That's why he only works with the best musicians around. He has been called one of the best bassist in the world…You can read all about him by clicking HERE

After I massaged Nathan, we all met in the lobby to go to the gig which was at the UdK (university of Art) here in Berlin. I met their tour manager Phil and was told he is also Paul McCartney's tour manager, so we chatted about Paul a bit *sigh* I LOVE PAUL! Anyhow, next time Sir Paul tours, I may be able to massage him..yay!

Nathan introduced me to Herbie outside the hotel, he was super friendly and has a warm, contagious smile.
He was driven to the gig in a sleek black Mercedes and the band and I went in a van.
VInnie was so tired that he was delirious and hence, FUN. Vinnie sort of reminds me of Dee Dee Ramone; he is
funny even when he isn't trying to be.

Vinnie Colaiuta is on tour with Herbie too, playing drums of course. Vinnie has slept through his wake up call (he was napping) and was a bit tired, but perked up when he saw me and gave me  a big hug. Last time I saw Vinnie was this past summer when he toured with Jeff Beck. Poor Vinnie, he hasn't been getting much sleep on tour, I feel really bad for touring musicians, no matter HOW cushy the tour, no matter how rich they are, it's still hard on the body. You hardly ever get a good night's sleep and the constant sitting (in the tour bus, on the plane, on the train, backstage)  and irregular meals and meeting new people every day can be exhausting. If I could give them a gift of 8 hours sleep, I would. Massage does help, but nothing beats a good sleep.


Backstage, before sound check, Herbie asked me if I would like to join him chanting later. He is a Buddist
and has been for the last 25 years. I told him I was open minded and would love to try. I was thinking, maybe this
could be the answer to my nasty sleep disorder.

 


 

   

During the sound check I got to stand on the stage and watch the geniuses in action. Vinnie is so exciting to
to watch, no wonder he gets so many hits on youtube.The last time I saw Vinnie was n the summer when he was drumming
for Jeff Beck. He said he was actually planning on a long break but "when Herbie called, well, that was a no
brainer, of course I said yes, he is one of my hero's."

Nathan had me film him while he sang "I just called" (Stevie Wonder) with his high tech camera during the sound
check. I am almost certain if he wasn't busy being on of the best bassist on earth, he would be a full time
photographer. He takes more pics than I do and he always makes sure the background, angle and lighting are right.
Nathan is also madly in love with his wife and super proud of his twins. He shows off pics of them so proudly. It's
nice and refreshing to meet a man in the music business that tours so often to still be so dedicated and in love
with their wife. In fact, I rarely meet anyone anymore that is so in love with their spouse. People usually moan
about how they wish things were like they used to be, in the beginning of the relationship, or the complain about
"the ol'ball and chain". My Father and Step Mom are madly in love STILL after 25 years and they were the only
couple I knew that were like that until I met Nathan. I thought to myself "all women would love a man like that".
Nathan is such a positive person and he radiates that. This man truly loves life. I love being around people like
him, it recharges your battery, takes away any jaded edges you have lurking around (well, at least for a while).
To top that all off, he can sing his ass off too. Herbie chose the best musicians for his quartette.

I was really surprised when Herbie told me he had never collaborated with Zappa. He said they had spoken a few times
about doing so, but things always seem to get in the way. I could tell he regrets that deeply, as he speaks so
highly of Frank, which just confirms how cool Heribe is.


 

   

 

Herbie during sound check ^ 

 

 

   

 

My friend Shai  ^  arrived during the sound check. Herbie was standing on stage with a mic in his
hand and I introduced her to him. He spoke into the mic for all to hear "Shai? How do you spell
that?" Shai spelled it for him. "Oh, nice! Great name!" Herbie is so friendly!
After the sound check, Herbie invited us into his dressing room.
I gave him a quick back massage and they he asked us if we wanted to chant.
 



 

   

 


He set it all up, and everyone came in to join us, except Vinnie, I think he was too tired.
Herbie handed us a booklet with all of the verses he was going to say and we were to follow. He has been doing
this every day for the last 25 years, so he doesn't even need to look at the book. It sounds Japanese to me,
and he speaks very fast, we got lost at one point and Herbie turned around, found our spot were we should have been
and never even missed a beat with his chanting. We were gob smacked.Amazed. He gave us a card with the web site
and info we need to chant. Almost every city has a Buddha center. It was so relaxing and calming, I find myself
chanting now, when I get stressed. You can read up about it online..Apparently Herbie is really famous for his
participation as I have been approached online by people who say they are also Buddhist and they have chanted with
Herbie too.Wtf? Small world.


 

   

 

The show was long, well over 2 hours. It was amazing, sounded perfect.Herbie is really charming on stage,
he talks sometimes in between songs, and the people love it. He makes them all laugh. He needed help translating
something; he needed the German words for his song "Watermelon man" and I shouted it out in German for him
(note: I am NOT German, no German blood, I just have a flat here and speak the lingo). Anyways, Herbie
repeated it in German and it was super cute. If Herbie is to play anywhere near you, do check out the show,
the band is TIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
After the show, my daughter Jasmine and her "friend" Julian, who is from Italy, came backstage to say Hi to
Herbie, Nathan, Vinnie and Lionel. Nathan entertained us with a few magic tricks, he is a magician too (jack of
all trades!). I am glad Jasmine gets to meet such musical legends, they are rare and should be treasured.
I was going to go to Italy and massage Herbie and co. at a few Italian shows but as I said before, the first
show was canceled and it just didn't work out. Looking very forward to seeing the lads again..

 




My massage assistant in Italy, Melissa, got to massage them in Milan for a few days. She also chanted and went to see the Buddha center with Herbie. Mad cool.

Ask Dr. Dot

 

Q.

 

My wife got pregnant last summer and she miscarried about six weeks into the pregnancy.

She thinks it happened because we had sex right before she lost the baby. The sex was a

little rough, but everything I’ve ever heard is that there’s

 no way having sex can cause a miscarriage. There’s many other factors that could have

caused it, and she knows it. For one thing she smokes, even when she’s pregnant.

She’s pregnant again, and she’s afraid to have sex,

fearing it could cause her to lose this one too, yet she’s still smoking as much as ever.

I just don’t understand this. Doctors have told her, smoking is not good for the baby,

having sex will not hurt the baby. Yet she’s more focused on giving up sex rather than her smokes.

How can I convince her that it’s okay to have sex, but put it gently that maybe the smoking has

been the problem the whole time?

Future daddy–or not?

 

 

 A.

Sex will not cause a miscarriage. Smoking will. Smoking increases the risk

of losing a genetically normal baby. Women who smoke more than

14 cigarettes a day are about twice as likely to miscarry.

The risk of miscarriage increases with the number of cigarettes a woman smokes.

Women who smoke during pregnancy are ignorant and selfish.

Go online with her and surf, there are endless articles that prove sex is FINE

during pregnancy, and smoking is can be deadly. I feel for you buddy, I really do.

 

 

Q.

I wank nearly every day so I am worried would I run out off cum, so how many

times can we cum?

Young, Dumb and hopefully, full of cum

 

A.

Lucky for you, you are a never ending fountain of spunk. Your balls produce about

about 300 million sperm every time you cum; they start brewing a new

batch as soon as you shoot your wad. It’s impossible to run out of sperm.

In fact, the more often a man cums, the more sperm he produces, which explains why

Men never use up all their sperm. Wank away my friend.

 Q.

How do you feel about cheating? Even though my 11 year relationship has been

sour for the last year at least, I still expected my partner to be faithful to

me. He recently told me he cheated on me with a "hot girl" from a hole in the

wall bar, a few weeks back. I still can’t believe he went home with a woman he

knew for no more than 3 hours!!! He told me this on Thanksgiving Day, he

confided and said that he and his friend from work picked up these two sisters

at a local after hours bar then stopped to get

condoms and then went back to her house so they could pair off and fuck. He said

the guilt was bothering him so he confided and was planning on leaving me. I

completely lost it…this whole experience has taught me how much I

love him. If everything would have been peachy

between us and he cheated on me, I’d let him go, no problems. But, since I

actually feel a little responsible due to the fact that we had drifted apart, I

didn’t approach him for sex…nothing…I was able to tell him I still love him

and want to make things better between us. He told me he didn’t know if he was

in love with me anymore but would always love me. So then he said he needed a

a break to think. He moved out for 5 days, then came bawling back.

I have tried to have sex again, but he won’t.

What do you think is going on? What should I do?

I’d also like to mention that this man has a really tough schedule that he keeps

which is partly what caused us to drift in the first place, 7 days/5 nights.

We just made up, so I expected him to be more attentive towards me,

 and he hasn’t. I told him yesterday that it would be

really nice if he at least laid his arm on me at night when we go to sleep…he

does not even touch me at all!

 

– Hopelessly in Love

 

 A.

"I didn’t approach him for sex…"

Excuse me, do you have a cock? You are acting like the man in the relationship.

It is NOT your job to go to him for sex and ask him to put his arms around you.

No wonder he is distant, you are making him feel like a bitch.

He is obviously staying with you out of habit, it feels comfy.

I suggest STOPPING ALL advances towards him NOW, and I mean ALL. No "I love you", no touching, nothing.

YOU have to find out once and for all how he feels about you and if he doesn’t

show his love (he already told you he isn’t sure how he feels , he isn’t IN LOVE

with you- sorry, but you are IGNORING all of the signs. Love can make us blind, deaf

and dumb. Wake up and take off your rose colored glasses, he is an uphill battle.

  If you have any questions you want me to answer, send them my way. I always change the name for privacy.

Dr. Dot video clip

I just came home from London. I know, I was supposed to go to Italy but the Herbie Hancock show in Napels was cancelled due to gangster style promoters not wanting to pay. So I decided to visit friends in London. It wasn’t IN London, it was outside of London, so it was like being in any suburb of any big city really, but with hotter accents. It was nice to see old friends and meet a few new ones but I am glad to be home. I have so much writing to do, so many blogs to complete, jeeze, my ass is getting flat just thinking about all that sitting. I will meet and maybe massage Placebo tomorrow, never heard their music but I have heard they are great, we shall see.

Look what I found in my inbox, edited and put together by my dear friend Christine Collins. Thanks Christine! You rule! x Dot