Ask Dr. Dot

Q.
I am extremely in love with the woman of my dreams that I will be marrying on St. Patrick’s Day. 
We have known each other for about 5 years but only been together for a year. Before she was with
 me she was with a woman. She admits she knew she was in love with me while she was with a woman. 
Now that we are together and engaged I couldn’t be happier and I have accepted her past. I believe
 however she may have an attraction towards women. I have heard that most women have some sort of 
attraction towards other women. Is that true? She admits she loves boobs. I don’t think it bothers me...
 I just don’t know if she still has or will ever have lesbian tendencies. I have noticed on her computer 
(without spying) that she has visited porn sites. I don’t know to what extent because I am not a spy.
I have no doubt her love and sexual attraction towards me, I just don’t know if she thinks about other
 woman as well and if that is normal. What is your take on this?
Suspicious Steve

A.
Could it be you both have a lot in common? We all know men think about other women too, 
have a thing for boobs and watch porn. It’s completely natural that humans lust after more 
than one person and she prefers to lust after other females. Would you prefer she fantasizes about other men?
If she isn’t doing it obviously or slacking as far as you are concerned, Just let it slide until she 
gives you a real reason to freak. 
As far as what she “thinks about other women”, well, you may never know. The one private place in 
the world for everyone is their thoughts; please don’t pry into that private space.
Let’s face it, the female body is a beautiful thing, can you blame her? I love women, have been
with a few and I am sure I am not a lesbian. Just because she’s dabbled with Dikes, doesn’t mean 
she is hooked. Don’t verbalize your concern for her hobby, or it will just drive her more towards
 other women. Ignore it witha smile on your face and perhaps it may even add to your sex life when
 you imagine her licking another women head to toe.
 

 

Q.
I am a 32 year old guy who is dating a 34 year old woman. We’ve dated for just over a year, and for the most part we have
 a good relationship, except for our sex life. Early in the relationship she found an online blog I kept of a sexual nature that
I created while single, before I was able to tell her about it. She got very upset by it and rather than try to defend it, I got rid of it.
I figured that no online fun was worth ruining a good real life relationship and upsetting her. We seemed to get past it and I hoped
this would be the end of it.
However ever since then our sex life has been inconsistent. I think I was disappointed with her reaction to my naughtiness
(hoping she’d be excited by it rather than offended). Besides that any time she acts upset towards me it always seems to be that
the wrong girl said hello to me in public or that she has gone on my computer and found fault with some web site I was looking at or
pictures I have saved on my computer.
Every time this sort of thing happens I find myself less and less interested in opening up to her sexually. She says if it was just
random porn that’s one thing, but I have maintained friendships with people I used to blog with who were exhibitionists as well.
I saved pictures they shared with me. I almost posed nude for a semi-well known photographer and I have friends who are doms
and nude models. All of which I told her about after the blogging fiasco. So even if I wasn’t out looking for erotic material online
I would probably come across it just by maintaining my friendships with these people
I’ve told her that I am just into porn and that it doesn’t mean I want anyone other than her, but she still takes it very personally. 
 To me it’s just fun, a release and I don’t think it should upset her so much.
I don’t like that she keeps poking around my web history and files and I feel like I should not have to defend what I do in private
as long as I am not cheating on her or doing anything that hurts anyone. She says she trusts me and knows I am not cheating on her,
that she knows men like to look, but she still gets upset that I look at pictures of other women.
I don’t do it in front of her and I have even toned down my usually flirtatious nature to try and be respectful of her, but nothing seems to work.
I don’t want to upset her but as long as I am not cyber sexing anyone or cheating on her I feel I have a right to indulge my wild side.
However she is obviously more reserved than me and I wonder if it’s not just a fundamental difference in our natures that we can’t overcome
Am I being insensitive here or is she being too suspicious? Is she right to enforce limits on who it is I see naked or what porn I look at?
She is extremely loving, supportive and treats me well in every other way but I am tired of defending my right to look at what I want to look at.
I feel this kind of behavior is insecure and is part of the reason for our lackluster sex life, an area I have never had trouble with until this
relationship. I am a good guy. I do not cheat on her or treat her badly. But I do like to look at porn and save pictures on my computer.
Does this make me a bad boyfriend, or just bad for her?
Do you see any solution here or are we just too different in our views?
-          Bewildered Boyfriend
 
< That shit's gotta stop
A.
Normally I would trim down such a long question, but I think it will do a lot of people good to read the whole thing. I cringed when I read it,
because I had to leave a guy because of the same type of behavior. You would think that Elvis song “Suspicious Minds” would prevent anyone
from smothering their partner with jealousy and snooping, but no, it still happens, sadly. If you start alerting your behavior for someone, l
ike deleting your blog, etc, they will know that you can be pushed around and once you give them an inch, they take a fucking MILE!! I
f you change for her, she will know she can change you and just keep on taking away your freedom.
I say be a man and tell her, “Look, I had cyber fun before I met you. I love you, won’t stray, won’t cheat, but I need my eye candy,
 and if you don’t like it, you can fucking leave!”
From a woman’s point of view, most don’t like their man looking at porn; most hate it, but tolerate it. I said MOST so spare me the
 “I love porn too” emails ladies. This snooping shit has got to stop. I loathe snoopers. Snooping becomes an addiction and it’s a hard one to stop.
In the future, keep your desktop locked with a password and tell the chicks your computer is YOUR computer and they need to back the fuck off.
As long as you aren’t looking at child porn or chicks fucking horses, you are just being a normal guy! Men love porn, PERIOD!
Tell her, perhaps in a letter, that this snooping is turning you off, and if it keeps up, she will be pushing you further away, into a corner where
 one must choose, freedom or “jail”. If you are treating her good, she shouldn’t have a reason to snoop.
You two are in a vicious cycle right now. The more she snoops, the more she turns you off of her and this makes you want to look at more sexy
pics online, making her feel unloved and insecure, so she snoops more... NOT GOOD.
Next time you meet a woman, tell her you dumped your last girlfriend because she
was too jealous and snooped too much. Tell all ladies past and present that
“snooping is another word for stalking” and last but not least, if people don’t
like what they find when they snoop, they shouldn’t fucking snoop.
Q.

Hello Dr. Dot,

Thank you so much for your help.  We broke up, I moved, we're friends, and my butt is extremely happy. 
(Remember, the anal craved boyfriend that was hurting my ass?)

But now I have another quandary.  Now that I've moved, a couple upstairs (and not even directly over me)
has sex late at night every night and wakes me the hell up.  She screams like a banshee for about
ten minutes.  I have thus far refrained from requesting that they restrict their amazing theatrical
performance, thinking to myself that the situation is a bit funny, ha ha.  But now I'm sick of being
woken up and have run out of people in other time zones that I can call when suddenly awake.  How can
I let them know that their lovemaking sounds like a cheesy porn movie without embarrassing them (too much)?
Or do you think I should just go ahead and knock on the door and be like, please be quiet, you fuck
ridiculously?  Do some people just have to scream like that when they're doing it?

Not Anal, but annoyed
A practical gift for your moaning neighbors^
A.
Glad your ass can live in peace now, but the neighbors seem to have left off where your anal happy ex-boyfriend
left off.
No matter where you move to, there will usually be one annoying as FUCK neighbor around to test your patients
in one way or another, but this raunchy routine sex they are having must be dealt with. They are probably
doing it to rub it in their neighbor’s faces "we are FUCKING and you're not!” So, you have to give them a
taste of their own tacky medicine.
I am all for loud and wild sex, but come on, every night, the same annoying moans would drive anyone crazy.
If Mr. Big stuff wants to make his woman scream so loud, he should move out to the suburbs and get a secluded
house where no one can hear their concert style shags. The next time they wake you with their sex noises, get
as close to them as
you can, either through the walls or in front of their door if you have the balls and moan obnoxiously loud
like you are being fucked by Tommy Lee in a fit of rage. If their manners don't kick in, you could 
(a) Call the cops as they are indeed disturbing the peace
(b) Type an anonymous letter and photocopy it a few times and post it all over the building
that says "Dear Mr.....apartment 123, we are happy you are getting your leg over on a regular basis,
but give us a fucking break and stick a sock, or your
Cock in her mouth so we can sleep!”
 
Q.
Hi Doctor Dot,
 
Looking at your picture I am not sure that what appears to be a metal wrench in your hand is likely to
sort my problem, example given: It ain’t worked for about five years and the BOSS is getting fed up.....
oh I am only 70....Surely I should have another year or two.
 
Cheers,  Floppy Joe  
A.
Arm yourself with a nice warm dildo and give the boss a good poke. Use your mouth to bring her
to the finish line and she won’t mind that your tool has retired.
 
Q.
I've recently heard about orgasm without ejaculation.  Have you heard of this?  This is a practice I'd
love to master.  Have you any info on this?
 
Lasting Pleasures
A.
Since orgasms and ejaculation are separate, it is possible to have either without the other. Orgasm can
occur without ejaculation. Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where the bladder's sphincter does
not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen flows into the bladder.
This is what they mean by "dry cum" in which the man may experience orgasm, but no spunk comes out.
 Not sure if you can “master” this or why you would want to, but be happy it isn’t happening to you
as it usually happens to men who have diabetes, multiple sclerosis, or after some types of prostate surgery.
Another case of the grass is always greener.
Q.
My boyfriend of 4 months is almost perfect except he is too clingy. My last one was the opposite, he never
had time and I was always the one longing after him, so at first it was nice to have someone crave me so
much but at this point, I can barely breathe. How can I tactfully get him to ease up a bit?
Goldie Cocks

A.

Most new lovers are like oxygen, you get too much, you feel dizzy, not enough and you feel like you’re going
to faint. Why can’t they just find a nice middle ground and stick with it? This clingy behavior means he
adores you and is afraid of losing you which is quaint but you have to let him know gently that it’s too much.
If you are courageous, next time he has you in a love lock, say “honey, if we want this to last, we have to
give each other a bit of space” and say it with a smile on your face so he knows you mean well. If you don’t
have the nerve to say it to his face, write him a letter. Make sure you make it short and sweet and highlight
the fact that you adore him but are not used to so much body contact and cuddling. Men understand actions
better than words, so you could always just gently squirm out of his arms while talking, all the while smiling.
He should catch on. If not, hammer time.

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'IN THIS ISSUE') x

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