Ask Dr. Dot

Q.
Dear Dr. Dot,
 I used to have a girlfriend (we were both looking for long-term relationships)
but she dumped me because my penis was too small. I had another girlfriend
shortly after that but she dumped me for the same reason. I am looking for a
long-term relationship with a girl, but I wondered if it’s worth looking for
one. Judging from my experience and other letters from your column, it seems all
women care about is an adequate sex life and a guy with a huge penis! This is
making me so freakin annoyed! Are there girls out there who don’t care about the
size of a guy’s penis and will love him for who he is?
Muffin Man

< Don’t let your size get you down
< If she claims it’s too small for her pussy
A.
Single Moms and Asian women don’t seem to give a shit about a man’s cock size;
I suggest you "shop around" with these women in mind. Single Mom’s know that
genital size doesn’t matter that much, but having a father figure and loving
companion does and Asian women have tiny snatches, well that’s what my male
friends report back to me anyways. I only know a handful of women that care
about the size and the sex, most want a generous, funny, polite, attentive,
sober man around who will rub their feet now and then, so I guess you have just
met the wrong few lately, so don’t give up… "Every man has a woman who loves him".


Q.

Should I masturbate the night before playing sports cos ive heard it lowers your
performance?
Zomby Woof
 
A.
If you are just “playing sports”, it doesn’t matter. If you are competing professionally,
avoid snapping your carrot for one or two nights before the big game, it takes away
your edge, we all know how men look after they cum, they are useless wads of Silly Putty.
Q.
I’m having a slight problem here…. I have about one month to get rid of a
bad self image thing I have going on. A man I care about very much is
coming to my place for a week to visit. Problem is, I hate the way I look. Having a baby nearly killed me, but I’m 80 pounds lighter after a lot of hard work, but still, I’m
not comfortable with how I look. How in the hell do I get over this – before
next month?

Big Leg Emma

< Curvy women are yummy
A.
Humor makes everything better.
Always keep that in mind. Funny people are irresistible, even if they aren’t
"gorgeous".
Don’t be nervous or talk too much, that will make him know something is up.
Just breathe deep and let him do most of the talking.
Have some wine and candles around for when you two get cozy and offer
to massage his shoulders and ask him to massage your feet ( word: pedicure!).
After a glass or two of wine, you will both feel more relaxed.
Let things happen, don’t freak. If he wants to turn the lights on, tell him
"I feel freer when the lights are low". Actions not words, talking too
much is SO annoying to men; it screams "I am so insecure, I can’t
handle silence!"
Wear things that flatter your figure. Men aren’t as picky as you think they
are. If you blow him, do it the BEST you can (use
your hand and suck at the same time) he will fall for you big time.
If you give a man great head, he won’t give a fuck about
cellulite.
<  "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’" Frank Zappa
Humor, good oral sex, cooking together while you sip wine, and long walks when you can, will melt the worries away.
Never apologize for your figure. You could, however, make a tiny joke about it
sometime, say "I am a whole lotta woman" or something similar, it shows you
are cool about your self image and have a sense of humor, and that is SEXY.

Q.
I have a massive rubber panty fetish. I wear them everyday and want to know
if this means I am mentally ill or if I should feel ashamed etc. I am a Christian man
and want to know is it possible to have such a fetish and still be a wholesome
Christian. I simply can not change; I am addicted to the feel and thought of wearing
these naughty garments.
Disco Boy
 

< Rubber Panty fans

A.
We start out in life wearing rubber panties and end life wearing rubber panties
< Perhaps where his rubber panty fetish started
(you know, old people get them when they can’t control their bowels anymore)
so why not wear them in between too? I own several pairs of rubber pants and
dresses
and I know for a fact they make you sweat, how can your balls survive in such
temperatures? Anyways, I looked in the Bible and "Thou shall not wear rubber
panties" isn’t in there, so go for it.

< Rubber Panties…so sexy (NOT!)

 
Q.
One of my balls is bigger than the other. I saw once on a show where the man
got an implant. Do you think if I get one, women will notice when they squeeze them?
Is it expensive and painful?
St. Alfonzo

  < After such a night you may NEED  testical implants >

A.
Since that is indeed your most vulnerable area, of course it will hurt. It will surely be expensive, say around $2000 per ball. I really doubt it’s worth all the hassle, unless you
Plan on having them in a close up shot on film.  If you had one removed due to cancer, then they may notice, but if one is just bigger
than the other, they won’t notice. I mean really, how much time do women REALLY spend analyzing balls? Asymmetrical is what makes people interesting. No one is Perfect!

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