Happy Halloween!

I don’t know about your town/city, but NYC and Berlin celebrate Halloween on the Saturday night before Halloween. This is how our Halloween looked so far.

^ Shai  and I at the Ceili House Irish Pub  (she dressed as a man for Halloween…and when she isn’t dressed as a man ^ 

No, I didn’t dye my hair, it’s a wig and wig’s are HELL fyi.


Danielle and Kristian ^ the bar man and more importantly,  the bassist for the band LOOP

 < Brunette from Hell

Push up bra from HELL  ^

One thing that was annoying as FUCK, is even though it’s advertised up the ass, Germans are afraid to dress up for Halloween, so every where

we went, we were the only one’s dressed up, apart from the staff of each pub/bar/club. ‘Gawked at’ is an understatement.

 < Don’t expect the Devil to behave

Pete is from a Belfast based band called the SUPERFREAKZ . They are friends of mine on myspace. He was in town on Holiday and

said he has to meet me as his band insisted on him getting a pic taken with me heh heh. The poor guy didn’t know what he was getting into.


Random close-up shots. I know, I know, I will burn in HELL…. see ya there!

 ^ Pete will have to do 1,000 Hail Mary’s when he gets his skinny ass back to Belfast

< Hot


^ I filmed the girls dancing in the "mall" called the Europa Center.

The music is a clip of me singing "Fever"…short and sweet

  Happy Halloween!!!

^ The shoe shine chair at the "Mall" / Europa Center

ps. Thanks to MAYORESS for her help in editing my "film"

Ask Dr. Dot

There is this guy that I’ve been friends with for about 6 months. we are very
close and talk to each other almost every day, go out for lunch often and
travel together. He’s in the music business but not in a band. He’s a really
good guy and I’ve fallen for him, even though I didn’t find him initially
attractive. He says he cares for me and would do anything for me – even
offered me money when I was short on bills – I declined the offer. Basically,
takes very good care of me. One BIG problem – he’s married. Now, nothing
physical has happened between us, as I have too much respect for him to ruin
his life. I don’t think his wife knows that I even exist – but I have
tremendous guilt about being so close with a married man. it’s easy for most
people to say, then back off – but every time I have I miss him tremendously
and he calls from wherever he happens to be (even if it’s Japan) to see where
I’ve been and if I’m ok. I know nothing about his relationship with his wife –
not even her name. although he talks about the rest of his family. there are
no children. Having been married, I know that he should not be keeping me as a
close friend and if I were his wife I would not want him around me. But, I
have kept it at arms length and even when we are drinking nothing has
happened. He has said on more than one occasion, "if he weren’t married . ."
 I guess what I’m looking for is advice on if I’m doing something wrong here.
 He is always the one to contact me – I never call him – when I need to ask him
something I’ll send him a text or email – he calls me back or for no reason at all.
Ok – I’m done babbling – give it to me!
Ramble-on Rose

< They never learn do they?

When someone takes the big plunge, as in, standing in front of a crowd saying “I do
” and “till death do us part” they should lie in the bed they’ve made. You feel
guilty because you know it’s not cool. Men are the gas and women are the breaks.
Also, the more time you spend with a taken man, the less time you have to meet
and get closer to a single man.
A LOT of married men say "if I weren’t married" and "I will leave her soon" etc..
it’s usually fucking bullshit. They give their best to the mistress and the wife gets
the tired fucking left-overs. I am not prude at all, just have seen WAY too many girlfriends
 get hurt from married men and vice versa.
Why even bother hanging with a taken man? It will only lead to no good and if he did
 leave his wife for you, you could never trust him; he could very well be taking care of
some other single woman, paying her bills and checking in on her etc.
If he is in the nurturing mood, he should have a child. If he doesn’t like his marriage,
he should leave his wife, but not in the cowardly way (for another) he should end it,
 wait a while, then try for you. This is yet another reason why I frown upon marriage.
 It’s old fashioned and it seems the pressure of marriage is what makes people want to stray.
 There are millions of single men, why waste time on a taken one? > < no comment
I am 33 and the girl I dumped 3 months ago is just 19. We were together for a year and 
she loved me madly and I guess I loved her too, but since I still live at home with my parents,
I felt pressure and I let her go. Since then she joined the National Guard. Ever since then,
I have realized that I in fact do miss and love her. These are things I couldn’t sense with
 her the past two years. I’ve told her how I feel, and she’s obviously a bit shocked about it,
but more deservingly, leery to react towards this new found glory. Am I crazy?
Why did it take her leaving so far for me to believe she’s not one of the psychos I’ve had in
 the past? Why have I been afraid to acknowledge this before? What the fuck am I doing?
Cosmic Charlie

“Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. It could be that
 a tiny part of you felt you didn’t deserve her or to be blissfully happy because you still live
 at home and/or taking the next step with a woman would mean you have to change,
as in, move out, get a better job that permits you having your own place and the fact that
she isn’t readily available makes her seem oh so much hotter suddenly. If you really feel
 this way about her you may have to take a drastic step to convince her, like move out,
get a new place that has room for her. This could win her back but keep in mind 19 is
rather young and young people are fickle, but it’s worth a try. If it doesn’t work, at least you
will still have your own place and room for more of those “psychos” to sleep over.
My boyfriend has funky spunk. I like to blow him, but when cums, I gag from the taste.
His sperm is chunky style and has a fishy odor, I feel like he is serving me Chunky Style
Clam Chowder! He gets offended that I gag and spit it out and we argue about it constantly.
 He would literally have to put his love juice in a blender and add flavoring to have me
swallow it with out yakking. Should we just throw in the towel for such a thing? I love him,
but this is our road block.

A man’s sperm gets chunky if he isn’t cleaning out his pipes often enough.
Ask him to wank on the days you don’t have sex. If he isn’t drinking
enough liquids, naturally his spunk will be chunky.
If you want to dilute his clam chowder once and for all, tell him those tips;
empty the supply often and keep it thin by drinking lots of water. And as far as the fishy
part goes, if he isn’t eating fish on a regular basis (you are what you eat,
literally) then he may have a slight infection, which can cause that fishy
odor. Good luck getting him to go to a Doctor about it, men usually hate that!
If he is a big fish eater, ask him to cut down a bit, see if the taste and
smell changes. If all else fails, tell him he is lucky to get head on a
regular basis or give him a mouth-full of his Clam Chowder next time to taste,
so he isn’t missing out on any of the fun.

Ask Dr. Dot

I’ve had a male friend for the last year, he just recently split with this girlfriend and I fully intend on making him mine. I’ve been reading your column and totally get the fact that he will need some months to fully get over her and somehow it’s working out perfectly as he has to leave next month for 6 months to study in Belgium. My question is, how can I keep his mind on me, how can I somehow “reserve” him. If he was a shirt, I would put him on lay-away, but he’s not, he is a 23 year old hot guy who looks like Orlando Bloom. Looking very forward to your advice.
Parachute Woman

< this should get his attention

The process of turning a friend into a lover is a delicate one. You have to slowly go from buddy to their object of desire, which means not being around ALL of the time and making tiny dates just for the both of you, but keep in mind that sleeping with a guy too soon ruins everything. You know I am not old fashioned but this bit of advice is timeless. If you screw a man too soon, they will always subconsciously think of you as easy and they behave more jealous than they normally would. However, if the opportunity arrives, give him one blow job right before he goes to keep him curious as to what’s to come will help make him yours. Aim for it being the best head he’s ever to keep him thinking about you the whole time he is gone, but like I said, wait until the last possible day and only do it once.
Why do most men pull away after sex and seem so disconnected?
Brown Sugar

^ Women usually like to cuddle after sex

Men are not wired like women are. A very sarcastic but realistic way to get straight to the point: "Men cuddle to Fuck and Women fuck to cuddle". You simply can not take this personally. In fact, I found that the more apathetic I am after sex, the more the male wants to cuddle. They feel SO intimate and out of control when they have sex that they have to reestablish their Independence by pulling away, it usually happens subconsciously, they aren’t even aware that they are acting slightly selfish. I think cuddling is over rated anyways; once you are both finished with sex, give each other some freakin’ space to breathe…
Girls get energy, men basically slip into an after sex coma, they want to savor the orgasm and talking or cuddling can be distracting. Let them pull away, they will come to you when they need/want to, let them lead, there is no point making an issue out of it. use this time (when he is busy on cloud nine) to go wash your naughty parts or get a glass of water/wine etc..Don’t stress, just let things flow and understand, that is how men behave after sex..
My question isn’t really sex related but my dad just died from cancer. Is it ok not to cry? Does that mean I don’t love him? My girlfriend says I am a cold hearted. I am only 18 and I am just confused and stressed out.
Prodigal Son

All good ways to relieve emotional stress  ^

You aren’t crying because the reality of it all hasn’t registered it yet. It will hit you someday and you will break down and cry and probably be mad, sad and feel guilty that you didn’t grieve earlier, etc..
Men get kind of numb when such a thing happens. Don’t beat yourself up. But when the time comes and you feel sad, go ahead and cry, get it out, you have to or it may cause a tumor to grow from stress. Explain to your gal pal that you are in shock and to lighten up on you and be patient or she could end up being a ‘whipping post’…….

I am tired of failed relationships. I try everything (cooking all the time, dressing nice, letting them move in, buying them nice presents, doing all the house work, etc)  to keep them around, but it never works out, what do I have to do to keep them around?
Lady Jane

NOTHING. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do, be yourself. If they still come and stay, it will last longer. Some people put up a false front when they meet someone new. This is unwise, as sooner or later the real you will come through and the change may be a shocking let down. In fact, a woman who gives too much makes a man feel strange and could encourage a lazy & ‘take you for granted’ attitude. Just be yourself and sooner or later, some one will adore the real you. Putting too much effort into things is exhausting and when you tire, it could back fire. And as I’ve said many times before, lots of oral sex and laughter will make anyone more desirable.

Birthday girl

Thanks for the Birthday wishes!!… No, I won’t be going out and partying with rock stars today/tonight, just going out to eat with my favorite star, Jasmine 🙂 Tomorrow night, I will party with some friends, karaoke style, of course x

Speical thanks to Kelli (the girl in my myspace Top 8) for creating this image ^


Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,
 I used to have a girlfriend (we were both looking for long-term relationships)
but she dumped me because my penis was too small. I had another girlfriend
shortly after that but she dumped me for the same reason. I am looking for a
long-term relationship with a girl, but I wondered if it’s worth looking for
one. Judging from my experience and other letters from your column, it seems all
women care about is an adequate sex life and a guy with a huge penis! This is
making me so freakin annoyed! Are there girls out there who don’t care about the
size of a guy’s penis and will love him for who he is?
Muffin Man

< Don’t let your size get you down
< If she claims it’s too small for her pussy
Single Moms and Asian women don’t seem to give a shit about a man’s cock size;
I suggest you "shop around" with these women in mind. Single Mom’s know that
genital size doesn’t matter that much, but having a father figure and loving
companion does and Asian women have tiny snatches, well that’s what my male
friends report back to me anyways. I only know a handful of women that care
about the size and the sex, most want a generous, funny, polite, attentive,
sober man around who will rub their feet now and then, so I guess you have just
met the wrong few lately, so don’t give up… "Every man has a woman who loves him".


Should I masturbate the night before playing sports cos ive heard it lowers your
Zomby Woof
If you are just “playing sports”, it doesn’t matter. If you are competing professionally,
avoid snapping your carrot for one or two nights before the big game, it takes away
your edge, we all know how men look after they cum, they are useless wads of Silly Putty.
I’m having a slight problem here…. I have about one month to get rid of a
bad self image thing I have going on. A man I care about very much is
coming to my place for a week to visit. Problem is, I hate the way I look. Having a baby nearly killed me, but I’m 80 pounds lighter after a lot of hard work, but still, I’m
not comfortable with how I look. How in the hell do I get over this – before
next month?

Big Leg Emma

< Curvy women are yummy
Humor makes everything better.
Always keep that in mind. Funny people are irresistible, even if they aren’t
Don’t be nervous or talk too much, that will make him know something is up.
Just breathe deep and let him do most of the talking.
Have some wine and candles around for when you two get cozy and offer
to massage his shoulders and ask him to massage your feet ( word: pedicure!).
After a glass or two of wine, you will both feel more relaxed.
Let things happen, don’t freak. If he wants to turn the lights on, tell him
"I feel freer when the lights are low". Actions not words, talking too
much is SO annoying to men; it screams "I am so insecure, I can’t
handle silence!"
Wear things that flatter your figure. Men aren’t as picky as you think they
are. If you blow him, do it the BEST you can (use
your hand and suck at the same time) he will fall for you big time.
If you give a man great head, he won’t give a fuck about
<  "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’" Frank Zappa
Humor, good oral sex, cooking together while you sip wine, and long walks when you can, will melt the worries away.
Never apologize for your figure. You could, however, make a tiny joke about it
sometime, say "I am a whole lotta woman" or something similar, it shows you
are cool about your self image and have a sense of humor, and that is SEXY.

I have a massive rubber panty fetish. I wear them everyday and want to know
if this means I am mentally ill or if I should feel ashamed etc. I am a Christian man
and want to know is it possible to have such a fetish and still be a wholesome
Christian. I simply can not change; I am addicted to the feel and thought of wearing
these naughty garments.
Disco Boy

< Rubber Panty fans

We start out in life wearing rubber panties and end life wearing rubber panties
< Perhaps where his rubber panty fetish started
(you know, old people get them when they can’t control their bowels anymore)
so why not wear them in between too? I own several pairs of rubber pants and
and I know for a fact they make you sweat, how can your balls survive in such
temperatures? Anyways, I looked in the Bible and "Thou shall not wear rubber
panties" isn’t in there, so go for it.

< Rubber Panties…so sexy (NOT!)

One of my balls is bigger than the other. I saw once on a show where the man
got an implant. Do you think if I get one, women will notice when they squeeze them?
Is it expensive and painful?
St. Alfonzo

  < After such a night you may NEED  testical implants >

Since that is indeed your most vulnerable area, of course it will hurt. It will surely be expensive, say around $2000 per ball. I really doubt it’s worth all the hassle, unless you
Plan on having them in a close up shot on film.  If you had one removed due to cancer, then they may notice, but if one is just bigger
than the other, they won’t notice. I mean really, how much time do women REALLY spend analyzing balls? Asymmetrical is what makes people interesting. No one is Perfect!

Religion is BULLSHIT!

Muslims have stated that England will be the first country they take over. These are pictures not shown on American TV or in American Newspapers.. These pictures are of Muslims marching through the streets of London during their recent "Religion of Peace Demonstration."   

Isn’t it funny how they hide behind masks? If they believe in their "cause" so much, why be cowardly about it and hide?

" Hide, hide, hide, behind petrified eyes" Roger Waters

"Have you seen the little piggies
Crawling in the dirt?
And for all the little piggies,
Life is getting worse;
Always having dirt to
Play around in.

In their styes with all their backing,
They don’t care
What goes on around.
In their eyes there’s something lacking.
What they need’s a damn good whacking." The Beatles


Ask Dr. Dot


I am a 29 year old living in NYC (gonna be 30 soon); I have had a fair amount of boyfriends, flings, etc. My previous obsession broke my heart, played me, and I held on for egoist reasons I realize now – he pumped me up and then dropped me – and he had a girlfriend, but I still stuck around for longer than I shoulda.. anyway, I am over that dude and I feel free and good – really, without too much baggage – I have done a lot of inner work.

 NOW I meet this 24 year old – cute, very driven, old soul, young in other ways, BUT has money and lots of goals…. the problem is, that although I am having great sex and fun talking and chilling with him, he is definitely still hung up on a girl (20 years old) who he thought he would marry – she just broke up with him because he’s not Jewish and she is.

Well, he likes me; I know that – he is honest and forthright. He said ‘she has a claw in me’, which makes me cautious, but I am still drawn to him. He is a pot head and still hung up on her. He had her picture hanging in his apt. until I asked him to take it down.

 Usually I am all or nothing –I am the initiator here, but he wants it… he is just passive, and maybe not healed or resolved yet. Should I let it play out, or should I jump ship?

Polythene Pam



You little masochist. Falling for “unavailable” men will turn your life into a living HELL. He is not just “passive” he is high and apathetic, which means getting over HER will take even longer than it should. How much time do you have to burn? Perhaps you are bored and these difficult relationships are entertaining for you but I think they’re a waste of time. One of the first things you should find out about a perspective partner is if they are taken or how long has it been since the last relationship (anything less than 6 months is skating on thin ice). Dating someone else’s man is ignorant and a freshly wounded person is in no state of mind to put full effort into a new relationship. They have to snap out of it and then find themselves again, shag around and THEN maybe put their heart on their sleeve again.  I understand it may be hard to find a single, decent man in a big city but if you are going to be 30 soon you should  know by now that dating a pot head or even a drunk, is like throwing flames onto the relationship hell fire. Then you admit to being “the initiator”…omg..The only good thing you’ve said about this guy is he is cute, driven and has money…boooo, hissss… I’m gonna give this whole fucking idea big thumbs down. Time to jump ship, ya think?!



My girlfriend and I are in our early thirties and have been together for 5 years. I forgave her for an affair she had a couple years ago because the thought of losing her almost killed me. We got over that hump and now a problem has arrived that I am not sure how to handle. She hasn’t worked for the last 18 months. She does NOTHING except sit on her ass and surf the net. She says she can’t find a job but I know she isn’t looking hard enough. Meanwhile I am working my balls off, paying all the bills and wondering why. We have no kids so it’s not like that is the reason she isn’t working, she just got too comfortable and I guess I was so scared of her having another affair I kind of spoiled her too much. I was thinking of asking her to move back home to her parents, is that wrong? I feel like I’m going to snap soon.

Fool on the Hill



You have every right to be pissed off. She is taking advantage of you. You give them an inch; they take a mile every time. You forgave an affair and she took advantage of the situation, not good. If it is hard for you to say it to her face, then write her a letter and tell her you are neither her Father nor ATM machine, she needs to pull her weight or move out, tell her it’s turning you off. I can’t stand lazy fucks like that.



My new boyfriend changes positions in bed so fast and so often that it makes me dizzy. He’s on top, then he throws me on top, he gets bored (I guess) and they wants it doggy style. How can I stop this jack rabbit behavior without hurting his feelings?

Lovely Rita


< Sexual A.d.d


Start to suck his cock and just when he starts to get into it, spin around so he knows you want it from behind. If he whines (he probably will) tell him “Oh I guess that A.D.D sex doesn’t work for you either”. You have to speak up, people can’t mind read. Tell him in a nice, sexy way, you can’t get off if he changes positions so often. You could get an egg timer and tell him he shouldn’t let up until the bell rings. Let me know if that works.


My ex, who I’ve been apart from for 2 years, recently told me I give the best head he’s ever had. He has asked me a few times now for a favor, which is to blow him again for “old time sake”.  I said no, but wonder why men think they will get away with that? Should I tell my current boyfriend? Should I just take it as a compliment?

Sexy Sadie


 Yes, take it as a compliment, but most men say that to get head, play into your ego you know?  I ‘m not doubting your oral capabilities, I am just saying it’s a popular ploy.

No point in telling your hubby, it will only make him jealous, nervous and maybe even violent, just keep those warm fuzzy thoughts to yourself and smile knowing he still yearns for you. Oh, and trying to get head and/or sex is what men are biologically supposed to do, so he’s just doing his manly duty, no harm in asking is there?

Massage in Berlin Germany AND Los Angeles

If you are in or heading to Berlin or LA,  and want to have a massage, let me know. Our team is growing
and I am so proud to introduce our latest member, Carolin.. She was actually strong
enough to make me howl, and that means she is STRONG. No wimps on our team…
Read more about her below..
Dr. Dot
My name is Carolin and I live in Berlin (Germany) and in Los Angeles.  I was born in
Switzerland (Bern).
I am half Chinese and half German. I am an actress, filmmaker, director and
As an performer and artist I know how important it is to relax and to get a
massage on a regular basis, after a stressful day.
I LOVE massage and decided to study it
and so I received my Massage diploma and now I heal people with my
strong hands in Berlin, Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Malibu.
I like to take away your stress and make you feel like you were born again.

In 2006 I read about Dr. Dot on the Internet. I read all the articles about her and decided
to write her. I applied to be on her team. She wrote me back and invited me to a
test massage. I was very nervous, because I heard a lot about her “test
massage“. Well ,  I  massaged her and she fell in love with my strong and talented
hands.  She hired me straight away. Then we switched and she massaged me. It was
the best massage I ever had.  Now I am privilege to be on the Dr. Dot team.
Dr. Dot is great!!!