Ask Dr. Dot


I had been obese all my life and I had designed all my life around my obesity. Always reading, not going out, working at my local parish. One day I decided I wanted to lose weight; I became conscious of what I ate and the pounds just started to melt away! I hadn’t realized my accomplishment until my own mother didn’t recognize me and walked right by me at the supermarket! Suffice to say I lost all my friends because they said everyone looked at me now, leaving nothing for them! I was heartbroken until my  parents urged me to stop crying over people who were so blatantly jealous of me and that I should go out and live the life I had never lived with their blessings. And then my father added: "You don’t only look normal now; you look gorgeous! Why didn’t you do this earlier?"
 All my life I dreamed to be able to see my favorite band live on stage and then maybe try my luck backstage but was always ashamed of the way I looked. Even though I am proud of my looks today,  I dread that my dad is right. I think I’m way too old for daring to pose as a groupie backstage. I’m 32 going on 33, (but I’ve been told I look much younger). Do you still I got a chance of realizing my dream even if it is for just one time?


Congrats for shedding your extra weight. It not only looks better and makes one feel sexier, it is healthier to have a normal weight. You already proved to yourself you can accomplish things you set your mind to, so trying to meet a favorite band should be a breeze compared to losing lots of weight. Start out trying to meet a couple local bands and see how they react to you. If that goes over well, why not try for your favorite band? You only live once. I wrote an informative article called  "How to get backstage without blowing anyone"  that may give you some pointers. Click HERE

Will a lady get pregnant by fucking at her back (anal or oral) not vagina? I want to fuck my girl but she should not get pregnant,please suggest me some good idea.

Are you for real? Put a rain coat on your cock dumb ass.


I have been seeing a girl recently, things have gone well. Now, like any other red blooded male I feel a desire to mark my territory. I’ve tried the basics, leaving watches behind etc. etc. but I feel I should do something more permanent.  Taking ques from mother nature I am considering marking my territory with urine (not just leaving a few drops on her toilet seat, I mean pissing on her door etc.) Do you think this is appropriate in this day and age? Or is my testosterone-driven agenda clouding my rational thought process? If I decide to go ahead where would be the best place to do it?
Territorial Tom

I think that’s a brilliant idea. Wait until really late at night when you kiss your sweetie good bye then whip it out and piss all around her building. Not her front door as that would end up smelling like Grand Central Station after a while. Just on her building or in her yard etc. Just knowing you marked your territory will give you an extra shot of confidence, an extra spring in your step, which is an irresistible trait. Try not to get caught, as that could result in making her sick or even worse, turning her on.


I just finished reading your response to the guy who thinks he doesn’t produce
enough sperm when he ejaculates. I have the OPPOSITE condition: When I cum,
it’s like a geyser, and it doesn’t matter if it’s because of masturbation or
sex. Every woman I’ve ever been with is startled after having sex with me for
the first time; they can’t believe that I have cum so much, and wonder if I
had not orgasmed for days or weeks before having sex with them. In your
response to "Little Load Larry," you said that shooting such heavy loads isn’t
normal. So is there something wrong with me?

 Big Load Al

No, nothing "wrong" at all,it’s just that you are juicier. You should maybe go
into porn. Just kidding.
If the women get freaked out, just say "wow, I usually don’t cum so much, you do
this to me baby" and they will think of it as a compliment rather than as an
inconvenience or wet freak show. But don’t take it personally if none of them can swallow
your tide without pausing a few times.

Not sure if anyone has asked you this before or not, but how do you tell a girl that she has
bad breath? My new girl is great in bed and is a sweet heart, but her mouth smells like
ass. I just can’t get myself to tell her this.
Grossed out Gary

I know, I know, this is a tough one. Casually mention one day that one of your work mates/Friends just
dumped his girlfriend because her breath was so bad. And/or frequently offer her mints. If she still doesn’t
get the hint, stop kissing her and offer her another mint. If that doesn’t work, she is too dumb/ignorant to
kiss anyways.


My new girl is great, sex is wonderful and everything else, BUT she has one thing about her I don’t understand. At first the sex was just normal but now she knows me better she has revealed a rather bizarre fetish. She likes to watch Wallace and Gromit as we make love. She has also moaned Wallace’s name while she touches herself. I can deal with this, it doesn’t bother me too much but recently she has gone even further. The other night she presented two costumes, one for me, one for her…of Wallace and Gromit. She wants us to wear them while we have sex, with me as Wallace and her as Gromit. I think she an amazing woman, but if I give in to this will we ever have normal sex again?

Scared Stiff


*For those of you who live in a cave, Wallace and Gromit are an Oscar winning animated duo with heavy Northern English accents. Wallace is a bald man and Gromit is his dog.

Wallace does have a sexy accent, so I understand her yearning. Nothing wrong with role playing and acting out ones fantasy, as long as no one gets physically hurt. If you are dead against it, tell her you can’t shag a dog or even someone dressed up as a dog because you frown upon bestiality


I met a girl and fell madly in love she said she is also in love with me and
wants to be with me. We both are looking for a long term relationship. When we
met she told me she had mostly male friends and knows that I do not
particularly care for the situation, but am willing to meet them and work on
my own insecurities from previous relationships ( I have been hurt in the past
by a girl who told me someone was just a friend). She told me they were all
purely friends and had never been with any of them previously. Now that I have
given my entire being to her she has confessed that one of them was an ex
lover. She said when they first met they only intended to enjoy each others
companionship without any strings. But during the relationship she fell in
love with him. He told her all the things she wanted to here to get what he
wanted. When she told him how she felt the relationship ended. Now she claims
they are only friends but sees him and speaks to him regularly on the phone.
  She told me she knows it will never go anywhere but she still has very
strong feelings for him. When I found out I was devastated, I told her if she
really wants our relationship to go forward she would have to stop all contact
phone and e-mail conversations with him. She said she knows she needs to let
him go but does not know if she can. The situation is tearing me up inside
every day and now I am not sure that I can really trust what she tells me
since she was not up front with me when we met. I want so much to be with her
I’m not sure if I am thinking straight. The last time we spoke she said she
left him a message saying they need to talk and that when they do she is going
to tell him they can no longer be friends. I am not sure if she can do this and
if she does can I really believe that it is over or that they may still have
contact without letting me know. I don’t know what to do or say and need a
woman’s perspective on the situation.

Please help, "Crushed"


Everyone lies a bit and it’s usually to save someones feelings from getting
hurt. She told you she still has strong feelings for him, nothing can change
that apart from time and perhaps falling deeply for you, but still, love
doesn’t die, it just subsides. I would tell her you need a break to think
about all this, which will surely show you if she can or can not live without
you. He appears even more attractive to her now because he is so forbidden, so
you need to make him less appealing. You have to put your love to the test.
This ex-boyfriend shit will never end unless you call her bluff.

Take a break and if she comes back to you, she is all yours and you will be
more confident and perhaps trust her again. If she doesn’t come back, it may hurt but
at least you will know the truth and you will be free to love someone else who puts you
number one on her list, where you deserve to be.(I would personally show her the door).

How do I convince a girl to blow me?

Eager Earl
Say "Ladies first" and give her oral sex, then it will be your turn..

I have a problem with not being able to find other lesbians to have sex with. Can you give me some advice on where to find willing lesbians that would have me as a sexual partner.

Lesbo Lilly

Make yourself a page on and make it clear you are a Lesbian and look for some in your area. That site is much better than a dating site, everything is out in the open, you can see who you are communicating with and find someone close to you to meet. Unless you live in the middle of no where, there should be gay bars/clubs near you, if not, you may want to relocate to the nearest big city, as that’s where most open minded and sexually adventurous people live. Check out:

You could always try to convert a straight girl. It’s been done a million times before. Approach a woman and say "Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side" then show her how wide you can make your tongue.Works every time.

Ask Dr. Dot


A while ago, you disclosed your perfume to attract men in response to a horny lady. What about men? Is there a perfume that women can’t resist?

—Shower-less and Stinky


Angel for Men (or its nickname “A*MEN”) by Thierry Mugler or Fahrenheit by Christian Dior. Not too much, just a dash here and there. A*MEN has chocolate in it and will make women’s mouths water when they get a whiff. The first time I massaged Depeche Mode, they were all wearing it, and I have to say, it was difficult for me to concentrate on my work. You will definitely notice more attention from the ladies when you wear these.


Why do men, straight and gay, shave their armpits? I can’t tell you how un-sexy I find this, and I’m a gay man who came of age in the Chelsea district of New York in the early ’90s—birthplace of the chest wax for guys. Don’t give me that “It’s cooler in the summer” or “It just feels cleaner” nonsense. It’s stupid! And it’s emasculating somehow. I suspect the same forces (i.e. unattractive German women who can’t get the knack of walking in heels) have moved this to the top of their lists, having been successful in their campaign to teach their men to pee sitting down.

—Hairy Hal


It can’t be that gay men have given into dominating women and their wish to make the men shave. Since when do gay men give a fuck what women think/want? I think it started from certain ad campaigns and films in which shaved men were on display. Weak minds get sucked into such images and think that is what they have to do/wear/buy in order to get their pee-pee wet or at least gain a little love and acceptance. Also, young people usually have less hair so there must be a hidden agenda there (no hair=youth). I find it repulsive when men (hetero or gay) shave anything other than their face. Giving into trends or demands is just a sign of low self-esteem. Not to say shaving/waxing means low self-esteem, just pointing out that the further you go out of your way to look good and do annoying things like shave for more attention is just trying too hard, which is never sexy. Being yourself, hairy and all, is the hottest thing on earth in my eyes. When I see hetero men with shaved armpits/crotches, I cringe: It’s a sign of being high maintenance and vanity. Shall we start a “stop shaving” campaign? I will be your biggest supporter. Let it grow!


Why is it that when I masturbate I ejaculate only little sperm?

—Little Load Larry


It could be that you need to drink more fluids, and if you wank many times per day, naturally it can’t be a full load every time. Even if a drop comes out, it’s still enough to populate the world, so don’t panic and try not to compare your load size to those one sees in porn. Those guys are chosen because of their (1) large schlongs, (2) stamina and (3) liters of spunk that shoot out of them (all of which are not the norm). 



My boyfriend and I have had anal sex twice now. I have never had a strong urge to do this, but I am willing to try anything. The problem is that it scares me how much he likes it. The intensity of his orgasm is much greater than when we have vaginal intercourse. I also feel less connected to him this way, almost used. It isn’t that it is not at all pleasurable for me, or that I don’t want him to experience the greatest possible pleasure. I just feel he will want it more than “regular” intercourse. Am I weird for feeling used and less connected emotionally to him because of his intense enjoyment of anal? Help me please!

—Pain in my Ass


I’m sure most of the girls reading this feel you. We wonder, “Now that he’s had my ass, will he always want my ass? Does he like my ass better than my pussy?” and, “Since when is ass back on the menu?” I have asked many men about this ass phenomenon, and they do admit the fascination is due to the tight fit and most importantly, because it’s so taboo and dirty (literally). You are the boss of your body, so don’t put up with anal sex if you don’t like it. If it’s just “OK” with you and you do it as a favor, use it as a treat, like once a month or on special occasions. If you give in every time, he will think he can do whatever he wants with you, whenever he wants. If it’s a treat, he’ll appreciate it more. No point in wasting time analyzing why he wants to fuck your ass, just be happy he likes to be in you. But make sure you call the shots.

< Some men love receiving anal sex too

Massage in Rome

Finally we have help in Italy. I am so happy to introduce Melissa, our right hand wo-"man" in Rome. Why does it take so long to get Dr. Dot massage assistants all over the world? Because I insist on quality and that means they have to be tested/auditioned by me and my team in order to make the grade. I wouldn't suggest a restaurant to you without having tried it myself, nor would I send a massage therapist to work on you without having them auditioned. Quality, not quantity, that's what our team is about. Read about Melissa (and see her picture) below. If you are heading to Rome, let me know, we will set up your massage appointment.

Dr. Dot

ps. Melissa's first mission for the Dr. Dot team was to massage Roger Waters in Rome. Now that's a great first mission.

My name is Melissa and I was born in the states but have been living in Italy since 2005. I graduated from the University of South Florida in Tampa with a degree in dance performance and have been dancing professionally for several years now in the States and Italy. Being a dancer, I understand how important it is to keep the body healthy physically and mentally, seeing injuries occur on a regular basis including myself. For this I decided to enter into massage, to be able to help those around me and really to get a better understanding of how the body functions. I attended  Massage Therapy School in Florida and received my license specializing in Sports massage and have been working with dancers, other artists, and the general public, privately and in centers since 2004. I incorporate several different modalities into my massage depending on the needs of the client; from a more sports/rehabilitative approach to a general Swedish relaxation massage. I fee l very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with Dr. Dot, her team, and all the artists who come through doing what they do. Truly beautiful.

Ask Dr. Dot


Me and my boyfriend are both rather young. We have just started watching porn together and it is rather awkward just sitting there watching it, I mean, what does one normally do? It feels odd how we both just sit there in silence.

Wondering Wanda



Try doing it doggy style while you both watch your naughty film or lie on your back while he munches on you (you can have your head hanging over the bed and watch watch upside down or look to the side). When guys watch porn together, they just sit there in silence, but when a couple watches it, you are supposed to get busy. Don't ask him, just get naked and into position, he will follow your lead.


  I've been with my boyfriend 10 months now, we are very sexually active and experiment quite alot. He's made me cum through my clitoris, however he has never made me have a vaginal orgasm at all, I have also tried to find my g spot myself, they say it is meant tho be about 2 or 3 inches inside you, however i cannot find anything there at all, i am getting very upset and annoyed by this and I am wondering if it is possible that some women cannot have a vaginal orgasm at all, please help me because it is becoming a major concern of mine, thanks Clity Kate



 First of all, this G-spot bullshit is highly overrated. When one is looking for mine, it just makes me have to piss. Ditto with all of my gal pals. The clit is like a tiny penis, in fact, some will argue that it IS a tiny penis that just never grew. SO you have to treat it similar to a penis. Could you make a man cum just by touching his balls? Highly unlikely. One of you would have to touch his cock to get him to cum. Same with the clit. He can lick your clit or slide against it while you two are shagging to get you to cum. Stop worrying so much about a 'vaginal orgasm' or your mysterious G-spot and just enjoy the fact that he can make you cum. I know many women who can't cum at all, so count your blessings.


My boyfriend of 6 years has never liked kissing or giving oral sex.. also the frequency is about every 12 days… he is 51, and all his other girlfriends have complained about the same issues.. is he gay? Curious Carol


Honey, if you have been dating him for 6 years and still don't know if he is gay, you have serious problems. Gay men don't date women first of all. They like cock. Did you and the other girlfriends stop to think that maybe he is just a man who doesn't like to suck face/pussy? Kissing is extremely intimate as is oral sex. Some people are just not that deep. Like it or leave it.


I am 22 and my girlfriend is 21,and she always wants to suck my dick.That's fine but she always bites it. What would you do to stop this?



 Put a bunch of coins in a tin can and the next time she blows you and her fangs dig in, shake the can aggressively. Dog trainers use this tactic but I am sure it will work for your toothy gal. Tell her to roll her lips over her teeth, like she has no teeth, just gums (like that old lady in the film 'King Pin') and tell her not to let her teeth touch your willy. Explain to her that it's is like being in heaven and hell at the same time.

^ Sex with teeth = Heaven and Hell


I have been seeing this guy for three months now… horizontally we are a great match and have a lot of fun… vertically, I unfortunately am finding him more and more boring… and he seems to have fallen in love with me… how do I deal with this situation without breaking his heart??? Bored Bonnie


Why not enjoy the horizontal part with him as much as you can and when you are done tell him you have things to do. Keeping busy is good for the soul, so is great sex. It is hard to find someone who is perfect for you in every category. Be honest with him and tell him you love having sex with him but that's about it. Some men don't mind being on call just for sex. Relying on someone to entertain you is ridiculous. Also, in this day and age, if you are up front about wanting to see other people and practicing safe sex, it's not frowned upon to date more than one person (one who is fun, one who is good in bed, one who spoils you, etc). Besides, there is no "Mr. Right" there is only "Mr. Right-NOW".

Roger Waters = AMAZING!

      <  "REG"

    <Thanks Simon, I owe ya.

Sometimes it's hard for me to express in words the excitement of touching certain people. This doesn't happen often (me, a loss for words?). Last week, June 8th and 9th to be exact I was in heaven and it has taken me a few days to get my feet back on the ground. For some it may be hard to grasp being so excited about a musician, but I could tell you, it would be the same for a boxer to win a match, a soccer team to win the world cup, you get my drift.

I have met Roger Waters several times over the years and each time I am over the moon with glee. He has always been an object of my desire since the first time I heard his music. The fondness grew stronger when I laid eyes on him *sigh*. Such a mastermind and so attractive and on top of that, he is the coolest. If you have any doubts, please buy the DVD called "Pink Floyd: LIVE AT POMPEII" and after you watch it, think of me saying "I told you so".

It may sound odd to some but for me, Roger is the UK version of Zappa, but probably just to me. His lyrics are so deep, so meaningful, they teach. Waters and Zappa wrote lyrics that I studied more than any subject in school. Ditto with the Beatles, but Waters did many concept albums and they are not just entertaining, they really changed my way of looking at life. Animals, Dark Side of the Moon and The Pro's and Cons of Hitchhiking are 3 albums I could not live without. I know, sounds obsessive, but we all have our fetishes.

Roger wrote 98% of all Pink Floyd lyrics and music, (for example, Roger wrote the Wall and The Pro's and Cons ALONE, and then presented them to the rest of the band and said "I will do one of these as a solo project, which one would you all like to do as a group. They chose the Wall. The Pro's and Con's is just as good, if not better, than the Wall. Reg Rules)- he IS Pink Floyd. I can not go see "Pink Floyd" if Roger isn't there. I have videos of Floyd when Gilmour wasn't even in the band. I do love Gilmour and the rest of the band, but I am a Roger fan and stand by that 100 %. Once in 1987, Roger was on tour and so were Pink Floyd. In Providence, RI, "Pink Floyd" (without Roger!) played and the very next day, Roger played ( I went to the show). There were so many idiots walking around wearing shirts that said "Fuck Roger" I wanted to hurl! They bought them at the Pink Floyd show and they were black with the same writing as there is on the Wall album. How tacky.  Enough ass kissing you say? Bollocks, don't get me started, I could go on and on about "Reg" (Roger's nick name). My 3 musical heroes are Beatles, Zappa, Floyd and sometimes it changes, as in, some months it's Floyd, Beatles, Zappa, and other times it's Zappa, Floyd, Beatles; know what I mean? Those are my top three, and just like you shouldn't choose your favorite child, don't press me to choose just one favorite.

I remember driving around NH, in between Grateful Dead tours, with my younger brother and sister, CRANKING the cassette: Ummagumma. I made them listen to it repeatedly. Then it was onto Meddle, Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, Saucer full of Secrets, Obscured by Clouds, Relics, a Nice Pair, even Barretts INSECTS album. Too bad it never sunk it, they both like rap. What a fucking waste. Thank GOD my kid Jasmine saw the light. I raised her on Beatles, Floyd and Zeppelin (just started her on Zappa a couple years ago, as Zappa is rather vulgar heh heh).

Jasmine can play Wish you were here and most Beatles tunes on her guitar, so I am satisfied. What I'm saying, is this music is worth preaching.

I have seen over 3,200 shows now, all for free. The only time I have bought tickets was before I turned 15 and for a Roger Waters benefit show in 1990 here in Berlin, his WALL show and then again for the Zappa plays Zappa show and more recently the June 8th Roger Waters show here in Berlin. Those shows were so important to me, that I didn't want to risk it, what if no one wanted a massage? I had to be sure we were getting in. I ended up getting backstage for Zappa plays Zappa and gave my tix away to Jasmine's pal and luckily, the same happened at the Roger Waters show.

It was looking like Jasmine and I would just be in the audience to see the show, but in the last minute, I decided to just try- I called Simon, a guy I have known for a few years now. He worked with Dave Gahan and I saw him backstage at Live 8 with Roger Waters. I called him and he said "Dot, where are you? Can't believe we are in Berlin and you're not backstage".

Um, say no more, Jasmine and I grabbed and cab and were bouncing off the taxi walls with insane excitement. The taxi driver was about 70 years old and took the longest, slowest possible route which made me want to rip him a second asshole, but nevertheless, we got there as the show started and ran towards the stage singing the first song "In the Flesh" out loud (all of the Germans were looking at us like WTF??!!), but we didn't give a flying fuck.

I was wearing an English Football (er, soccer for you yanks) shirt  and this made me the object of hateful glares all night from the German football fans. They kept saying to me in amusing  English "You are VEARING zeeee  VRONG SHIRT!". heh heh, we'll see mates, we'll see.

Jasmine wanted to watch the show from the side, but I dragged her backstage as I wanted to thank Simon profusely for the backstage passes. He was super happy to see us and insisted we watch the show from THE SIDE OF THE STAGE!!!!  Jasmine was basically hyperventilating at this point from too much joy at once. She and I have watched Live at Pompeii an unhealthy amount of times and she has never seen Roger live before. *sigh*.

Simon bring us drinks on stage, hello, could he be any fucking nicer? Simon is the bomb!!!!  ^

Please don't read me the riot act here, yes, Jasmine had a beer. She will be 17 on Monday (June 19th) . Hello! They all start really young here enjoying their beverages. If you try to prevent/forbid it, they just do it even more. I just go with the flow and trust her judgment. Go with the flow baby, "the times they are a changin' ".


The sound was amazing, I haven't head such amazing sound quality since last years Live 8 when Pink Floyd reformed.

Roger is a perfectionist and I am grateful for that. My ears were smiling all night long. Jasmine broke out in tears during Wish you Were Here. You know how certain songs remind you of a certain person/time, well, that song had a lot of folks bleary eyed. I love how Roger goes to the edge of the stage and sings, even when he isn't in front of a mic. I told him that I like that and he said he likes to encourage people to sing along and it works. The whole place seemed to know every word to every song, even though English isn't their mother tongue.


^  Has been playing guitar for Roger for ages. Mr. Andy Fairweather Lowe, the Great!


I am wearing the RIGHT shirt!   ^

 < Jasmine and I in heaven!




  The set list ^ which Roger Signed the next day after his massage So, I massaged Simon after the show and he said that Roger wanted a massage the next day at 6pm, You know I was there early, with bells on, so to speak. Simon brought me to Roger's room to set up and get prepared for when Roger returned from Golfing. It was the first warm and sunny day in ages in Berlin, great for Golfing. Funny how so many rock stars go Golfing in Berlin (Alice Cooper is one of many).

The TV was on and the first game of the World Cup was on. Germany vs Costa Rica (Germany won that game  4 – 2 by the way).  Roger arrived and was in a great mood. He remembered me and was really sweet. I started his massage with my special invention (started doing it when I was 5 years old on my mom) the Bite Method massage. He was keeping one eye on the game most of the time and he loved the massage. I was paid in advance for 90 minutes but I massaged him for 2 and a half hours ( I was making it last as long as possible 🙂

We had some small talk, I usually don't speak during a massage, but we had tiny breaks to have a sip of water etc, and I asked him why he has never done "Across the Universe" live. He didnt recall ever doing that song and I  said "I have it on video, you and Andy Fairweather Lowe on guitar". "ah yes", then he remembered. He said that he never thought about doing it live, but hey, if he ever does, feel free to thank me. He does an AMAZING version of that song.  I asked him about the gorgeous turquoise/silver ring on his right hand. He said he has had it on since 1969. He banged it once and it bent and he can't get it off. I found that to be really cute. By the way, no need to ask me "Did you ask him if Pink Floyd will ever get back together" because I would NEVER fucking ask him that stupid question. Don't ask Sting about the Police; Eric about Cream and don't ask Roger about Pink Floyd, it's insulting and fucking annoying.

I love his work with Pink Floyd but  I also love all of his solo albums, so we talked about those instead. I asked him why there is no dvd for the Pro's and Con's tour, He said they didn't video tape that tour or Radio Kaos tour either. I find that VERY unfortunate. I own the "In the Flesh" dvd, it's from Roger's 2002 solor tour, it has Doyle Bramhall on guitar and it fucking ROCKS!!!! If you don't have it yet, I highly recommend it. I have two copies, one for my NYC place and one for my Berlin place. Can't be without that. Doyle isn't on this tour, he is cheating on Roger with Eric Clapton (so all is forgiven). Clapton played the night before here in Berlin, so Roger and Doyle were up most of the night chatting and having a drink or two. Roger waited as long as he could for Eric to return from a recording studio, but he had to hit the hay eventually and they missed eachother by minutes. Clapton played guitar on Rogers Pro's and Cons of Hitchhiking album, oh GOD, it's AMAZING!!!

Note: I asked Roger (as I do every musician I massage) what he thought of Zappa. He said " I used to hang around Frank a lot in the 60's and even stay at his house for a long while, and ended up breaking Suzy Cream-cheese's heart, unforunately." He almost forgot about jamming with Frank until I reminded him. He said "are you sure?" Yes, I am very very sure:

Pink Floyd jamming with Frank Zappa  ^

      < THE ring

Rubbing Roger's feet ( me= happy)

Roger said, even though there was no live footage for the Pros and Cons tour, he had JUST received a dvd the day before of never before seen videos he made back in the day for the Pros and Cons Album, Radio Kaos and even Amused to Death ("What God wants, God gets" with Jeff Beck on Guitar).

He said "after the massage you can see them if you like". Uh, ya think? YAY! He set up the videos on his lap top for me to watch and put the head phones on me and headed for the shower. I sat there for almost 30 minutes with my jaw open, one constant "WOW". The videos he made simply MUST be released. I told him all of his fans would buy them. He seemed open for comments/feedback. Looking into his eyes is so exciting, I am still smiling. Bad news is, he is engaged and very much in love. I told him I find that to be a pain in the ass and extremely unfair. He is ALWAYS taken. I told him him it's not fair and he should give other girls, like me for example a chance. He just grinned, never said a word when I was talking that shit. I did tell him his ass was in GREAT shape and he is still HOT. Again, just a grin 🙂

Face the facts,  I have the balls to say what you want to say, it's as simple as that. heh heh. Jasmine didn't make it to school that day (day after the show), we both slept until 2pm (already has those rock star habits). I wrote her yet another rock and roll excuse note "sorry, Roger Waters was in town". The last one was "Zappa plays Zappa was in town". Her home room teacher smiled and said "Jasmine, you are lucky I am your homeroom teacher. Tell your Mom I am jealous".

She made an incredible portrait of Roger and I brought it for him to sign. He was really flattered and signed it "To Jasmine, love Roger". She is gloating.

 ^ This is now one of my favorite photographs. He is smiling at me. Not the camera. I can die peacefully now.


Click HERE to see Roger Waters tour dates!

Ask Dr. Dot


I am an eighteen-year-old college student get really horny. But when my bf and i
fuck each other he says the wrong name. Could this mean that he is putting his
cock in some other girls pussy? Is this normal?


It could mean he is not over his ex or he is indeed fucking other girls. Sooner
or later, one should learn to just use the term "sweetie/babe/honey/cutie" so
that this problem never occurs in bed.
If you want to have some fun, next time you fuck him, yell out a woman’s name when you cum.

 When he asks "what the fuck?"it will be your cue to tell him "doesn’t feel good does it?".
Or you could just stick to the story that you also sleep with a woman from time to time to
keep him guessing, just like he keeps you guessing. Mystery keeps things hot.


I just came back from a business trip and my wife seems super loose in the
pussy.  After a couple days she felt normal again.  Then after another business
trip the same thing happened.  I am wondering why she could feel so loose, the
only time I have felt her that loose is after we use something like a cucumber
in her.  What do you think?


Perhaps she is screwing the UPS man and his cock is ooooh so much wider than yours, OR she
has a monster dildo that you don’t know about.
I think her "feeling loose" could be that she is very wet and horney because she is excited
to see you/fuck you again. You say after a few days it returns to normal,
it could be because she got bored of your ass already. Absence does make the heart/genitals grow fonder.

ps. The ONLY way you can ensure she is saving her self just for you, is to get her one of these:


Dear doc, i’ve been hearing about a muscle called the "Vip Muscle", it is suppose
to give guys more orgasms and some penis growth by exercising it. but i have no
idea where the hell it is located.   could you help? thanx


There is a book called ‘Scientifically Guaranteed Male Multiple Orgasms and Ultimate Sex’ by Alan Ritz.
My suspicion is that the author pulled this term out of his ass to get quick shooters/tiny men to run to the shop
to buy his book. However, there is a muscle called the vastus intermedius profundus (VIP) in rabbits.
And there is a vastus intermedius in humans, but it’s origin is Anterior and lateral shaft of femur
and it’s purpose is to extend the knee, which is ironic as when most men cum they
extend their knees, you know, flex their legs straight, point their toes. Anyways, the vastus intermedius
is muscle that has nothing to do with the penis.
You could buy the book and decide for your self. Silly me, I always thought the man’s VIP muscle was his cock.

 < The vastus intermedius muscle is sadly not a secret cock muscle, sorry.

What’s new pussy cat (that wasn’t a question)

One of the funkiest keyboardist on earth died today. Billy played with the Beatles first and then the Stones noticed how amazing he was and then scooped him up for themselves. He toured not that long ago with Clapton as well. Basically everyone in the music biz knew who he was and respected him greatly. I have some old Stones video's (bootlegs) and Mick bascially dry humped Billy on stage rather frequently, he was just a people magnet oozing with talent. Sorry to see him go.

I landed in Berlin this morning at 7:30 am and now I've been awake almost 48 hours so excuse any mistakes please. Phil from Motor Head just called me from the club here in Berlin called WHITE TRASH (it's the best bar/club/venue in Berlin). It's totally rock and roll, I love it. That's where my band BITCHFEST will make our debut on June 22nd… Anyways, he wanted me to come out and raise hell with him and who ever else he is with from the band but I had to decline, I am fucking TOAST at this point (not literally screwing toast, you know what I mean).

Rather than coming home and just going to bed I went and practiced with my band, I have to say, we are GREAT! lol… really tight!  YES!

 My favorite Massage assistant Catherine just text me, she just massaged Debbie Harry (Blondie) in Vienna, Virginia, she is super excited. Blondie is a wonderful woman!! YAY! Our team is doing so well… Tomorrow I am on call to massage Mr. Clapton and band, but you just never know, not good to get one's hopes up. Then the next day is ROGER WATERS!!!! *sigh*. I actually BOUGHT tickets to his show for Jasmine and I, didn't want to take ANY chances at all. If I end up massaging him, I will give my tix away to my buddies as it is WAAAYYY sold out. He will play the whole Dark Side of the Moon album. It will be a giant orgasum for my ears. I have to get my jet lagged ass into bed greetings from Berlin, home of the World Cup 2006!! x Dot

Ask Dr. Dot


 I started dating a younger guy, he is 26 and I am 30. We decided to see each other occasional for only sexual activities. I really like him because he is a very handsome man. The first time we made love, it took only 2 minutes for him to cum. The second time the same thing and his penis is only about 5 inches long. Why he does cum so quickly??? This doesn't give me a chance to cum too….please answer! but he becomes erect so quickly with me…no problem on that side. PS: It is because his penis is not bigger or he doesn't like me?



Sounds like he cums so quickly because he doesn't care about you, just his little cock. The size of his penis has nothing to do with his stamina. Obviously he likes you a little bit otherwise he wouldn't be dogging you. He is young and selfish. Make him lick you until you cum, then let him fuck you, get your priorities straight.


 My wife and i have been together since 1989. we were having wild hot sex almost every night . She would always cum a couple of times before i'd fill her up.Then last year i found that i did not feel as horny around her (she looks great and has a firm body) . seems that i always have to be the one to make the first move and if i don't initiate sex then there probably wont be any. I am becoming flustered by always having to be the ONE start the ball rolling and sometimes when were having sex its like ho-hum didely dum .but whats worse is that now my cock hardly ever gets real hard and alot of the time it goes soft long before either of us are pleasured . and the more i thing about the fact that it may go soft … the faster it happens . this has become an obsession with me now . I ve got Viagra from my Doctor but with a small dose my cock still went soft … any ideas on how help me regain my stiffness would be greatly appreciated 

Big Softie


 Notice how the sperm race towards the egg? They fight to be the first one to the egg. In my opinion, sex is always best when the man initiates the sex. Sure it's hot once in a while when your lady shows you she is hot and ready, but if she was the one usually starting the romp, wouldn't you feel more feminine? How strange would it be for the egg to suddenly chase after the sperm? I doubt your problem has to do with the fact that she isn't asking for sex, I think it's more that you are getting bored and worrying that a mid-life crisis/dry spell is heading your way. I am against pill popping, even though I am aware millions make a living cramming pills down peoples throats. You have two separate problems, the first being your sex life has become tedious and boring. This happens to most couples, sadly. I feel that sleeping apart keeps passion alive. Sleeping next to your partner makes them so familiar it can be hard to lust after them. All the tossing and turning and smelling each others farts can turn any hot romance into a predictable hell. Try sleeping separately once in a while (I prefer ALWAYS sleeping apart, but that's just my twisted mind). Make sure you are having alone time with you and your best friend: your cock. Make sure you two have naughty sessions to remind you who's really in charge. As far as getting soft, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it does come with age. You can try to prevent it by avoiding fluoride ( tap water/tooth paste) because I think it's a hard-on killer (it can't just be a coincidence that men born and raised in places that have fluoride in their drinking water have trouble with erections but have nice teeth, where as in Europe, etc, they have crappy teeth because there is no fluoride in their water, but have NO problem getting and staying hard). You two could also try a change of scenery, fucking in the same old bed time after time will make fantasy and passion difficult.


 Even though it's over between me and my long term boyfriend (7 years) I am still obsessing about him. I always imagine how it looks when he fucks another girl. I put them into every position and worry if she is better in bed than I was for him. I always worry if he still loves me or if we will ever get back together. I wonder about him so much that I can't even sleep anymore. My girlfriends are tired of hearing it, so I am all alone with this problem. If you could just tell me how to get over someone, how to stop thinking about someone, maybe that would help.

Not over him Nat


Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands. Get busy, get your life back, in other words, get a life.What will be, will be. You can't make someone love you or come back to you. If it's meant to be that you two reconcile, it will happen, but sitting around sweating him will not change anything, it will simply waste time. Before my Grandmother, DOT senior died, she told me "if you have one foot in the past and one in the future, your legs will be wide apart shitting all over today." Stressing over what was or what will be is actually ruining your present life and that's all we really have so cheer up, this isn't a rehearsal, it's the real deal, we only live once.