Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

My husband and I have 2 kids, we’re happy & have sex once a week, but it’s very standard sex. I often find him watching hard porn (the women are dressed in rubber etc)  and recently to his horror, I caught him having sex with a pocket pussy. He was so embarrassed that he clammed up for a few days straight. I asked him if he is seeing another woman or if I am enough for him sexually and he says he is 100% true to me and that he is fine with our sex life. Do you think he is lying? I feel he has this whole other sex life going on with out me and it’s hurting my feelings, making me very insecure. I wonder if the women in the videos are what he really wants, or if he has another girlfriend that gives him the sex he obviously longs for. I guess what I am asking is, how can I get my husband back?

A.

A lot of men buy these pocket pussies, mostly out of curiosity and boredom of their left/right hand. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love your pussy, it’s just his alone time with his cock, just ignore that. The fact that he watches porn is also normal. I don’t know a man who hasn’t at least watched porn once. Most watch it frequently. The fact that he doesn’t want to have wild sex with you could be because you are the mother of his children. Some men find it hard to bang the same pussy that gave birth to their children the same way they did before the kids were born. I am not saying ALL men, I said SOME, so spare me the whining, bitching emails. He may think of you as a pure, holy being who nurtures his kids and loves him unconditionally. It could be in his mind you are now MOM.  It may be hard for him to shut that off and turn on the "come here bitch and let me fuck your ass" attitude he sees in the porn he watches. You could get a baby sitter and rent a room once in a while, see if he lets loose there, away from the domestic surroundings. Out of sight, out of mind. Watch a sexy video, have some wine, give him a back rub while wearing hot undies.Actions not words. If that doesn’t work, write me back.

Q.

I am a 23 year old guy and this is the first time I have ever lived with a girl (she is 21). I am used to having my private ‘pull’ every day, but I never find time alone to do it. She caught me once when she came home from work early and she was so upset. She can’t understand that me wanking has nothing to do with our sex life. So I have two problems here, one, my girl is jealous over my right hand and two, how the hell does a man find time alone to wank off?? Our bathroom doesn’t even have a lock on the door! Do I have to fucking rent a hotel room to be alone with my own cock now?

Cocky Carl

A.

She is young and may not know that a pull is just a pull. Maybe if she gets to watch you have a pull she will get more used to it. Tell her it would turn you on to watch her play with her pussy and while she is doing that, give yourself a pull. Hopefully this will open up the masturbation door a bit for the both of you. Tell her (but not during or after sex) that sometimes you just need to wank as a form of relaxation and it’s something you’ve been doing half of your life and it’s not a habit you could ever give up. As far as having alone time to wank, call her at work and ask her when will she be home (or arrange to meet her at a restaurant) so then you will know exactly how much time you have alone in the apartment. Weekends may be tough, you may have to learn how to have a pull in public restrooms where she can’t see/hear/smell your session.Surely men who have lived with women for years must have clever ways of pulling this off (pun intended). I will probably get a few emails with suggestions, if I do, I will surely stuff them into my column asap.

Q.

Is it OK to fuck a girl if she is on her period? What about oral sex?

Hesitating Harry

A.

First of all, you can still knock her up during her period. No glove, no love. If you have the courage to lick a "crime scene" pussy, and the girl is OK about letting you do it, go for it. Of course it’s ‘OK’ to do it, nothing bad will happen, you may even get some extra iron in you and she will feel fully accepted. The worst part about it is the mess. Make sure you have dark colored sheets or towels to put under your play area. When the passion is so strong and urgent, that you have to have each other NOW, no mess should discourage you.

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