Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

I have been dating a girl for 4 weeks now and I think I love her. I have never felt like this before (I am 19 and she is 18). How should a guy wait before he says "I love you"? And, how is the best way to say it? I am afraid she will laugh at me or not say it back.

Fraidy Cat Carl

A.

Anything less than 6 months will not be taken seriously. After a couple months you could start throwing the word ‘Love’ around, as in "I love to be with you" or " I love how you suck my dick" but to say "I love you" too quickly takes the weight out of it. If the girl says it first, *yawn*, the relationship is doomed in my opinion. The longer you wait, the more it will mean to her. The best way to say it is before or after a really amazing, long, wet kiss, and definitely with a smile on your face, not a serious/nervous look. The same look you would have on your face when you would tell someone "I just LOVE  AC/DC".

Q.

Hi Dr. Dot. I fucking LOVE your column. My friends and I are "Ask Dr. Dot junkies" lol. I have a serious question here. I’ve been seeing this hot bar-tender in my local pub. One night I popped into his pub (he always works Friday nights) and the staff told me he left early and went to a party with "some blond". Next day he said he went alone. I told him I knew better, he said he just got a lift to the party with the her. I just don’t know how to tell if and why he would lie to me. I am all confused. I have guy friends and don’t mind him having female friends, it’s just the foggy truth part is killing me. What’s a good way to tell if he is cheating on me?

Blinded Barb

A.

Dating a bartender is like dating a member of heavy metal band. Fun, but dangerous and prepare to be juggled along with a huge harem of horney holes. These guys have their pick of the crop on a nightly basis. Either live with it & take him for what he is or just be his friend and look for another boyfriend. When you’ve fallen for a person, your ‘Bullshit Detector’ breaks down, so even if you KNOW they are lying, you try to ignore it.

By the way, popping into someone’s work place is never a good idea. Surprise visits usually lead to trouble. That shit is a big no-no in my book.

Q.

What do women complain the most about when it comes to guys? I am sick of guessing.

Contemplating-turning-gay Gus

A.

From all the emails I get and from all the females I know….

The top things that woman dislike about men

1. Looking at or worse, talking to other chicks while out with them.

 ( Hunt when out with the guys or alone, after all, you aren’t with her 24/7 are you?)

 2. Not calling when you say you’re going to. (I know it is hard to grasp why this is so important,

but chicks HATE this. If you find it hard to keep your word, don’t commit to a time, just say, "I’ll call you when I can")

 3. Too much time at work/with the guys/watching sports events.

 (Explain to her those things only make you appreciate her more and make you miss her, and then spoil her to prove it)

 4. Acting too jealous/snooping/too many questions.

(Would you want her doing that to you? No. Treat her as you want to be treated)

 5. Penny Pinching.

(Even if you are poor, act generous, be it with compliments,oral sex, food, drinks or massage)

 6. Wishy-Washy behavior.

(Suddenly their guy" got cold feet". Just be up front in the beginning and say what you want, be it a fling, an open relationship or something long term. Make it VERY clear of this up front).

 7. Bad teeth and/or breath.

(They never shut up about this; it’s SO important to women, so drag your ass to the dentist if you must and always carry mints/gum!)

Basically they want a clean, honest, generous guy who keeps his word, makes them feel like they are the only woman, who gives them space when they need it. Toss in LOADS of foot rubs/foreplay and oral sex and you will be "Mr. Perfect".

*********************************************************************************

The top things that men dislike about women:

1. Talking too much and too loud.

 (Men are NOT like us; they don’t speak as
much and don’t want to hear all of your petty crap/gossip. Save the long chats
for your girls and make it ‘quality not quantity with your guy)
2. Complaining. (Sure, they deserve nagging sometimes, but they know how to
tune you out and the more you nag, the less they listen. Try leaving notes to
get a point across or saving the whining for big issues. If he isn’t what you
want, leave but don’t be a dam nag)
3. Stalking. (Uh, if he doesn’t call you and pursue you, he is NOT into you,
let it go. Don’t drop by unannounced, snoop or bother him, it only drives him
further away-give them space or lose them)
4. Routine sex. (You want him to drool over you and yearn for you? Two words:
Oral Sex)
5. Pressure to marry/have kids. (Let them lead, pressure may force them to do
what you want, but they will resent you and the situation, that is how
cheating begins)
6. Amazon jungle down there. (Keep it tidy and for god sake clean)
7. Shopping and talking about shopping. (Notice the penis? It means they are
not females, they are different; do not treat them like a girlfriend if you
want them to act like a boyfriend)
8. Mothering them/being too dammed nice. (Make them work for your love, don’t
make everything easy and convenient, they live for challenge, unless they are
spoiled free-loaders, ew!)
In short, they want an independent, ambitious, strong, clean female who gives
them space and lots of exciting sex. Keep busy, save the 30,000 words a day
for the girls and nothing beats a gal with a huge sense of humor.

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