Ask Dr. Dot (Don’t shave your nads!/His Castle/Heeled Hell/Quick Dick/How to give good head)

Q.
Dear Dr. Dot,

My girlfriend asked me to have my whole genital area waxed for her birthday but I am really afraid. Does this shit hurt? She says all of her girlfriends guys have done it. Not looking forward to this humilitaion ONE BIT. SOS!

Jungle Jim

A.

Dear J.J,   Lets face it, cocks and especially balls are no pretty sight. At best, they  look like an injured, plucked chicken.

The hairs help hide the unsightly toys.  Besides, waxing HURTS and this

whole Metrosexual movement makes me want to puke. I understand the manicure/pedicure part of it all, but anything else

(eyebrow shaping, ball waxing, highlighted hair) is queer as fuck. It's hard enough in big cities telling apart the Hetro's from
the Homo's and now almost every guy has better eyebrows than Madonna in her Heyday.
Ok, where was I? oh yes, your balls.
Tell her it makes you feel more masculine with furry nads and warn her the inevitable stubble will shred her clit to bits. How about just
trimming the hairs with a comb and scissors? (the comb prevents scissor/ball contact but only cutting hair that protrudes through teeth of comb).

Maybe she is after some sort of amusing revenge..

Q.

After 3 years of blissful dating, my boy friend and I finally moved in together 4 months ago (he moved into my place because it's bigger and in a better area). Ever since we have lived together, he has been moody and puts me down verbally (even in front of mutual friends). He won't go down on me anymore and I fear we are doomed. Do you think living together was a bad idea? How can I save our relationship? I am crazy about him and don't want to lose him!

Freaked out Francine

A.

You know that term "a man's home is his castle"? It's old but still applies to the modern day cave man. It's always better when the woman moves into the man's place  (unless your last name is Federline) or finding a new, mutual place together. No matter how modern the times get, men still like to be the caretaker and the king of his domain. He probably feels like an incapable boy or a guest, which explains his tiny tantrums. Since he can't be the big guy who gave you shelter, he has to bring you down a few notches by insulting you and withholding *gasp* oral sex. I realize it may be difficult, but finding a new place (let him pick it out) and moving in there is probably the key to your success for you two. If that's not possible, you have to let him know being nasty to you in any way may make him feel big and strong but will also leave him single. And even though I am not a fan, Lil' Kim hit the nail on the head when she said "if you ain't lickin' it, you ain't stickin' it".

Q.

Dear Dr. Dot,
My boyfriend always wants me to wear heels when we go out; he says it turns him on. They kill my feet, but I do it for him. Is there any happy medium to this torture?
Painful Pedi

A.

Dear PP,
I am so over heels. I only wear them in the bed room and that's that. Tell him you are on strike and will only wear them in the house. If he moans about it, buy him some heels in his size and ask him to walk around in them for a few hours and that will be the end of that topic. Sure, some guys love high heels, but wearing them in the house to seduce them will do… AND oddly enough, the more laid back you are dressed the more guys will approach you. All men gawk at a scantily dressed 'femme fatale', but most don't have the balls to approach her. They think (1)High maintenance (2) Too expensive (3) "I'm not worthy". If you wear sexy jeans with a cute top and comfy shoes, you will appear more approachable and happy because high heels hurt so much they turn even the sweetest girl into a raging bitch by midnight. In short, men usually don't care what you wear on your feet, as long as you look cute, a tad sexy and clean. Same with those long fake porno nails girls have cemented on; I've never heard ONE guy say "oh you should have seen her, her nails/shoes were so HOT!". Try some cute platforms, they make you taller, look feminine but don't have that painful downhill form. No love is worth suffering for.

Q.

I'm a "minute man" even though I masturbate 2-3 times a week. I need help to get over this or I will lose my pussy posse.

Quick Dick

A.

You're not going to like my answer but I'm not one to sugar coat. When you wank, there is definitely a time where you know you are going to cum and if you want to, you can put it off a while to enjoy yourself a tad longer. It's the same thing when it comes to fucking. A generous man knows when he is approaching that "road" to orgasm and will hold off until his lady cums first (not sure how it works with gay men, I mean, with Heteros, it's 'ladies first', but with gays, who goes first?) anyways, cuming after one minute of being inside your date shows you are a selfish prick (or there is a medical problem you need to have taken care of). YES, it feels good; so good you want to shoot your load, but wait until you make her cum first! If you absolutely can't get your cock to cooperate, you should lick her until she cums, then have your one minute ride. I wouldn't put up with it but then again , there are a lot of females who don't care so much about sex, so there is still hope for you after all.

Q.

You are my only hope.  My boyfriend of 10 months told me that he I don't blow him well.  Well, I don't do it often, but he never asks for it anymore (now I know why!) I
don't mind doing it, especially because he is really good at returning the favor. The sex is great (I always cum), but I want to spoil him orally. He says he tried to tell me when it feels good, but I'm not persistent enough.  I can't just do it the same way all the time, my back and neck gets
tired and his penis is pretty big, so I need to take it out once in a while. He says he can feel my teeth and it hurts him (I don't even
feel my teeth touching it, so I don't know how it happens.) He actually went from being hard to soft in my mouth last  night, which means I am on the 'Highway to oral Hell'

Confused, but eager!

A.

Make him sit on the edge of a bed or sofa (this will prevent your neck form hurting and you can take your sweet old time).

You kneel down onto a pillow to protect your knees and take his cock into your best hand (If you are left handed, use your
left hand, if you are right handed, use your right hand).
Hold his cock very firm, and the most important thing is to imagine the whole time how it feels for his cock.
Just like us girls like a big fat cock, men like a small, tight, wet, pussy.
Suck on the tip of the cock and at the same time, use your hand to hold it
tightly but stroke it like he is fucking your pussy. He
should only notice that you have it in your mouth, he shouldn't  notice 
your  hand much. From time to time take more of it into your mouth, when you have more of him in your mouth, move your hand towards the base.

You could always cup his balls with your other hand if he likes it (you may have to ask his preference).  Keep his cock wet so your hand slides nicely while you keep the head of the cock in your mouth the whole time. Your mouth and hand should work together, the same
pace, the same direction, the same stroke. Ask him once, "does this feel good
baby?" and if he says yes, KEEP at it until he cums (you should ask him before hand

if he wants to see himself cum into your mouth, if yes, close your eyes and keep your mouth open,

all the while firmly stroking him. Keep eyes closed because sperm will burn your eyes and make

them red and swollen for hours). If you haven't asked him his orgasm preference, then have him cum

into your mouth while it's still in there and don't miss a beat, let him cum in your mouth, and store some of his cum in your
cheeks like a hamster does food, and swallow a tiny bit at a time so you don't
choke or gag, which is a total mood killer. He will be happy if you swallow his cum. Try to look him in the eyes once in a while when you blow him, this makes
him know that you accept him, which is  important for a guy. About the teeth situation, roll your lips over your teeth and keep it like that the whole time you

are blowing him, never forget this, or you will ruin it and scare his erection off for good. Pretend you have no teeth at all; think "I am GUMBY dammit!".

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