Ask Dr. Dot

Q.

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years. We are healthy, happy and
have a good sex life….though after 10 years of marriage and three years of
dating prior, we at times have hit some ‘dry’ spells.  We’ve come out of them
fine though as we have turned up the dirty talk, fantasy sharing, and even the
occasional strip club (her move).

Recently, in the middle of sex, she told me something that I hadn’t imagined. 
Before meeting me, she had basically two boyfriends and with the one before me,
they taped three of their sex sessions….and she had kept the tapes (she
wouldn’t let him take them…good move in retrospect).

She asked me if I’d like to watch with her as she hadn’t seen them since
basically we started dating (in college) . At first, I didn’t think I could
take it, but we ended up watching and we had mind-blowing sex.  Seeing her as a
21 year old having very graphic sex with her then boyfriend was incredibly
arousing.  I don’t think I could have handled this years ago, but since we trust
each other and have a good marriage, I was able to manage the jealousy I felt
and allow the raw sexual feelings surface.  We’ve watched them now about 6 or 7
times and they haven’t gotten old.

Is this healthy?  We both feel a bit weird after wards, but the sex is great and
I notice she orgasms multiple times and more intensely than watching other porn
or through straight sex.  anybody else deal with this before?

Peeping Tom

A.

Watching it once in a while is fine, but something tells me she is starting to get hooked on it, especially the fact that she cums harder and more often then with other porn. Maybe she is thinking of him when she fucks you, who knows. If you are enjoying the sex and no feelings are getting hurt, then why not? I think when porn becomes a regular feature in a couples sex life, as in, more often then not, there is something lacking. Once in a while it’s HOT and probably standard, but if it’s all the time and becomes a needed tool, what’s next? Will you both  need that to get off? Maybe it makes her hot seeing herself at age 21, as in "look how fucking hot I used to be". Fantasy is important and healthy, but having it on a video tape is a different story. Would she like to watch you bang a 20 year old ex girlfriend over and over again?

Don’t suggest it anymore, see how often she suggests watching it and then decide if you can handle it or not. If it starts to bother you, you’ll have to take a stand and tell her "enough is enough" and throw the "would you like to watch me bang a 20 year old ex?" her way, but then there is always that chance she says "yes!". I think she doesn’t want to let go of her past; her young body and hot ex boyfriends. Peter Pan Syndrome goes porn…You might as well enjoy it until it starts to piss you off..

Q.

I’ve been married for four years and separated for about a year now. One of the
biggest reasons for the separation is that we had no sex life…none what so
ever!!! I have been living with a Japanese girl for the past seven months and
our sex life is incredible! I’m telling you, this girl is almost perfect (at
least to me).

My problem is; although everything is so good between us I can’t stop wanting my
wife (sexually). I truly believe that it’s over between us (me and my wife)
however, now she wants to give me all the sex I want. I have been sleeping with
her when I go to pick up my son. I know this is wrong however, I think that
because I wanted her for so long, I’m jumping at every opportunity.

What do you do when you’re with somebody but love someone else and know that you
can’t go back to the one you love??? I’m so mixed up!

A.

"I’m in love, I’m, all shook up"- we’ve all been there buddy. It’s called having your cake and wanting to eat it too. Sometimes putting the ‘forbidden’ spin on a stale sex life makes it hot as hell again. I’m not sure if your wife knows about your current status, because if she does, that could be why she is suddenly so wet for you again (her competitive side has perked up and she is using her pussy to lure you back). Next time you fuck your wife, you know, those moments of clarity after a good shag, where you just lie around for a few minutes, ask her straight out if she wants you back or just wants to be a fuck buddy. If she wants you back, you may have to say good bye to your Asian girl, and there is no better excuse then "My wife and I are going to give it another try". If your wife just wants you as her fuck buddy, you could always juggle the two (I can already hear the anti-cheat hate mail pouring in as I type this) but then again, just because you love one person, doesn’t mean you have to hate the rest.

Q.

I am only 16 and I think my penis is too small. All of my friends brag about how big their dicks are, but mine is only 5 1/2 inches long. Will it grow bigger? Am I stuck with a tiny penis? Is there anyway I can make it longer?

Tiny Tim

A.

It is a muscle, the same as any other muscle, the more you use it, and work it
out, the stronger and bigger it gets. In other words, wank until the cows come
home. All guys brag about their cocks, and they are usually exaggerating.The guys

who really are packing a big pistol don’t need to brag about it. Most think they
have a HUGE cock, when in reality only a small percentage of men have a Wonder Willy

 (as in, when it’s hard, it goes up past the navel button and you can barely get your hand
around it).
If you feel yours is too small, learn to give oral (hey, aren’t you only 16?!) like your

life depends on it. If you learn to lick a girl the right way, she won’t care about how big your
cock is, trust me.

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