Dec 8th, the day John Lennon died

Sure it was long ago,  but he is still missed greatly.  I am in the UK again and Jasmine just called me from school yelling above John Lennon music that her school was having a tribute to John outside of the school with loud music and candles. I heard Number 9 dream playing in the back ground as we spoke. Can’t wait to get back to Berlin and give her a massive squeeze. To say that I am confused as to which country I will live in next, or stay in, etc, is an understatement. I crave stability like draught craves water. I just want to live in one place and have one life;  it’s exhausting living so many lives all over the place and living out of a suitcase most of the time.  It’s not glamorous and fun, it’s a pain in the ass and it leads you to a sleep disorder.
The last decent night sleep I had was on Thanksgiving evening at my Dad’s. I felt at peace, safe and loved, putting all worries out of my head. Love is also a confusing factor. I am in love but can’t tell you about it, I like to keep that stuff secret; it is bad luck to talk about your love life too much.  But I can say it is making me fucking confused as to where I shall live.  I do want another child, but also have my career booming and wouldn’t want to bring a kid into all of this uncertainty. It will be great when I have answers and know what and where you know? Not wanting a pity party, just thinking out loud. I don’t blog daily as there isn’t always good news and rock star pictures to share and my confusion would maybe just confuse you as well. 
I am leaning towards being in Berlin again for Jasmine, but we’ll see how much she really wants/needs me there.  NYC is great and seems to be the place to live for my career goals, bu Jasmine is’t there and t who knows about the love life then.. I need to clone me fast then all will be fine. Meanwhile, I’m off to walk around and take pictures…

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