Ask Dr. Dot

                                  

Dear Doctor Dot,

My husband told me that he is bored with our sex life. I am devastated and worried that he will have an affair if I don’t find a way to spice things up. Lately when I initiate sex, he says he is tired or just not in the mood. We need a sex make over fast! Help!

Frida

Dear Frida,

I don’t see why it’s just up to you to save the love life; you are not his home entertainment system. I can give you a few hot tips, but wait until he approaches you for sex before you put them into use, as I think coming onto him could bore him at this point. Take a big mirror and prop it up against a wall and strip for him so he can see you from the front and back simultaneously. Have him sit in a chair while you kneel and give him oral, making sure he can see your pink parts while he is melting in your mouth. Another hot surprise is to give him a bag full of the following: A couple bananas, hot fudge, nuts, whipped cream, cherries and perhaps some ice cream as well. When he asks “what the hell is this for?” say “Make me into your banana split”. Let him decorate your naked, shaved body and then eat it off you. Be careful not to let the whipped cream get into your snatch, as it causes a nasty yeast infection. This is a messy treat, but one that will stay in his mind forever. Think up cute things like these but only whip them out once in a while, don’t raise the bar too high as he may expect you to shoot fireworks out of your pussy eventually.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, and she keeps mentioning that she wants us to get married. I think its fine just the way it is, but she is persistent, almost giving me an ultimatum, as in, ‘we marry or I go’. I love her madly and don’t want to lose her, but I am afraid of marriage (aren’t most guys?). If you can solve this one, I will send you a fat check (just kidding).

Adam

Dear Adam,

You are preaching to the choir here, I am against the idea of marriage too. The masses will loathe my opinion, but it’s time to face reality, 50% of all marriages end up in a bitter, expensive divorce. Bring her out to dinner or a boat ride, some place relaxing and pleasant and tell her you love her and want to stay with her, but are afraid that marriage would actually drive you two apart. Remind her about 50% divorce rate and plead with her not to put your relationship into such a risky situation. You can still have a big party to declare your love for one another, but why the paper work? Ask her how many happily married couples does she actually know, that alone should shut her up. If she keeps pushing you, stick to your decision and tell her marriage is just not for you. If she really loves you, she will understand and stay with you, if not, you will find out fast, as she may leave you and find someone else who loves the id ea of marriage. Unless your partner is from another country, and you have to marry because of immigration laws, why marry and ruin the passion? Nowadays you can have a loving healthy relationship, even bringing up children together without all that pressure and paperwork. It is pushed upon us by the media, look how many people make a living off of weddings: dress designers, cake bakers, wedding planners etc, there would be a lot more unemployed people if we stopped tying the knot (and divorcing).

Dr. Dot

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