I was busy all last week, massaging Charlie Watts and other clients as well and trying to get in shape super fast for an upcoming photo shoot. I will spill the beans soon enough to tell you which magazine it is. I was invited to the Stones press conference last week, the one where they did 3 songs live for the press and a bunch of lucky people, but it was at noon and you know, that doesn’t fly with me, so I passed. NYC is the place to be rite now, Sting is here, U2 is here and the Stones just left. Cold Play will be here Tuesday and do a surprise gig (can’t say where) it is basically raining rock stars here, yes!
I have been out a bit doing karaoke, working on my AC/DC at the moment, love screaming my fucking head off into the mic, what a stress reliever that is, try it!
And here is Ask Dr. Dot:
Dear Dr. Dot
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Its mad love, absolutely mad. We have been through so much fighting and leaving and just crazy episodes (mostly on my part) and we’re still together and still in-love.
We used to have sex CONSTANTLY! Everywhere. We must have had sex in almost every bar bathroom in NYC and then some. It’s always been incredible, according to him even though I’m 24 and he’s 8 years older then me and much more experienced. Lately, it has died down to a lot less. Sometimes we’ll go 2 weeks or so without making love.
I confronted him the other day (again) and he keeps saying he lost HIS drive. I called him a liar, I told him to just admit he’s not into me anymore, I offered to spice it up any way he wants – except threesomes- and all he was saying was no babe, it’s not, i think i’m just getting older, i don’t get horny as much anymore.
What do I do? I don’t think he’s cheating. I wanna make things better. I don’t want him to be bored with me! I’m pretty much down for anything at this point (except other women – and he doesn’t even want that!). Is the Honeymoon really over??? =( Should I just accept this behavior? It is normal?
Thank you SO MUCH for your help!!!
Calling him a liar when he says he has lost his drive is a bad move first of all and then asking him if he is still into you, well I just don’t know where to start with you. Again, I have to compare humans with dogs once again when it comes to smelling fear (and lack of confidence). That my dear, is a vicious circle. Never ask a man how he feels about you, or if you look fat for that matter, as they will always lie when put up against a verbal wall. Just see how he is treating you, if he isn’t all over you, maybe he isn’t “into” you at the moment, but all relationships run out of steam after a while, the sex routine slows down. You can’t expect fireworks from someone you live with or see all the time. Distance and time apart, even emotionally can get things hot again. Don’t start any sex, just walk around looking really sexy and go about your business, see if he goes for it. If not, take care of your sexy mood yourself, have a wank, watch some porn. If he still doesn’t start sex with you after a month or so, you may want to think about what is really important to you. If he is treating you fine in all other areas of the relationship, maybe you could decide if sex is really that important to you or not. Would you leave him over sex? If he is a bastard to you AND withholds sex from you, time to jump ship. You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink and calling him names and demanding to know why he isn’t shagging you will only make you look mean and insecure. Just keep busy and sexy and wait things out, then decide what your next move is.
I know men in their 50’s who are still horn-dogs, but then again, every one is different. Maybe he is just feeling unattractive and tired. Massage him wearing very little, but give him a real massage, not an erotic one, and see if that perks him up, he may just need a challenge again, let him yearn!
ps. “Mad love” isn’t always the best love for the long haul.
Dear Dr. Dot
I’ve been with the same girl for almost 4 years. We haven’t been the best to each other. I’ve been promiscuous as has she. Her more than me. As of January we got back together after a gut wrenching break up. We vowed to be good to each other this time around. Now I’m starting to go through trust issues w her again. I feel like everything is just a big lie. She swear that everything’s ok, that I have no reason to worry. I broke up w her 10 days ago. Since then all I’ve done is miss her as she has me. My friends hate her for everything she’s done, but their my friends they’d hate anyone who hurt me. She has trust issues w me as well. We want to be together but I don’t know how to heal what’s been damaged. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. By the way, we are both in our 20’s and live 3 hours away from each other, both in party towns! Thanx in advance.
Lost in limbo
You may not like my advice, but here it goes. Once trust is gone, it is almost impossible to have a smooth sailing relationship, no matter how much you adore each other. You will always feel like you can’t let your guard down and especially living far away from each other. You are both so young, perhaps you can try to love lightly, hold on loosely. I know that is hard though, been through that myself. The only hope you two have is to move on, see other people and know that what’s meant to be will be. Maybe you both need to sew your wild oats a bit longer and end up back together someday, but obviously you are both not ready to settle down for the long haul, so rather than being another divorce statistic, try to agree upon seeing other people, but when you meet up, have fun. This gets tricky with sex, it must always be safe sex when not exclusive. It’s summer, loosen up a bit and enjoy! Re-evaluate in the fall.