Dear Dr. Dot,
I’m a male in my mid 30’s and just went through my second divorce. I’m attractive, play drums in a rock n roll band so I have no shortage of young ladies to keep me company. my problem is that sex with my second ex-wife was out of this world and since we split sex with anyone else seems like a waste of time. It’s not like i’ve lost my drive, I can still perform but I hardly ever finish. Now I’m dating a 21 year old and i really like her but I’m really not into getting it on with her. I guess I’m just worried that my sex life is going to be fucked up forever.
I hear you loud and clear. I have a similar problem and I think most people have that one that did it just right and if they slip away, you feel you are always pining afer that amazing sex. It will take a while for you to find someone who ignites your flame again like your ex, DON’T SETTLE!
I would keep “auditioning” until you find the rite one. Sex is extremely important and can not be taken lightly. It’s not everything, but it’s huge.
You are in the best position to finding a new gal who rocks your boat. Imagine you worked at McDonald’s. The selection would be smaller! I doubt your ex is open for ‘sex with the ex’ as it’s hard for a woman to just fuck her ex with no feelings attached.
We all have one big love (sometimes 2 or 3) and I think she was one for you, hence the intense sex.
Just count your blessings you are a hot rock star and have options. But like I said, DON’T settle, that will just lead to endless cheating (er, straying more than normal).
xx Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
I am currently in a relationship with a great guy. He’s wonderful in every way, except one…sex. Everything leading up to the actual act is fun, but once we start getting into it, I can never reach orgasm…but not to his knowledge. After we get so far into it, I think to myself, “Gosh, he’s really trying, but he’s just not going to make it!” So, I fake it, and he buys it every time.
It’s not like I haven’t tried being helpful in bed. I’ve told him where to touch and to apply a lot of pressure (because I need a lot of pressure to get there), but it also takes a long time to even get myself to orgasm, and for him to just sit there trying forever seems like too much to put him through, and frustrating for both of us. What should I do? Just tell him that I’ve been faking it this whole time and that we need some counseling or something? I’m afraid he’ll be upset with me that I’ve been lying to him, and at the same time, feel inadequate that he can’t get me to climax.
First of all, do NOT fess up to lying! Lying about orgasms is so counterproductive yet it happens ALL of the time for exactly the same reason you fibbed. Pity.
They don’t want pity and don’t deserve to feel they have gotten you there if they haven’t so stop doing that ASAP.
If he asks why the change (as in, you aren’t cumming every time), say, your mind is too busy, you can’t shut off. If you fess up to lying, he will never believe you again.
Try something new. Tell him you want to try new ways to ‘get there’.
Lie on your back, have your head hanging slightly over the side of the bed, and watch a porn while he licks you.
Tell him to take his tongue and pretend he is a cow, big old fat cow tongue licking your clit from South to North, very firm, over and over again, making sure it is always very wet. Find the rite spot and tell him “stay there, keep doing that, don’t stop!”
Men think if you haven’t cum in a few minutes that they are doing it wrong and change positions, which means you have to start all over again on your road to Orgasm!
It takes most women at least 20 minutes to cum. The giver has to be patient and persistent if they want the wild results of you yelling and quivering with passion.
You make him cum every time, so why shouldn’t you cum every time?? Ladies first by the way.
Also try this, put a thick blanket on the floor. Get on top of him, have him deep in you and tell him to lie really flat (or prop a pillow under his head, according to how you need his pelvis) and have the lube very close by to keep things slippery.
Have him try to lick your nipples now and then and/or play with your boobs as you like, which tenses up his abs for more clit pleasure. A good way to make your clit stick out is to grab your calves while he is sliding you back and forth on top of him.He should slide your body back and forth like a cheese grater while you hold your ankles/calves which makes your clit protrude if you do it rite as your back will be very arched as you are grabbing your ankles/calves.
This usually makes every girl cum. Also, have him talk dirty to you, you start, ask him “does my p*ssy feel good? Can you feel my p*ssy sucking your c*ck?” This will get him to talk dirty to you and could get you feeling so dirty that you will cum. You could also imagine a very sexy scene in your head, men do that all the time. This will help if things are moving slow.
No more cheating, it doesn’t help!