Ask Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I live in NYC and as you know, it’s packed with gorgeous people. Now that Spring is here, the competition is shrewd. I’m just an average girl and feel out of place here thanks to all of the tall, thin nicely dressed babes. Any tips or ideas to increase my chances of landing a guy would be greatly appreciated.

Plain Jane

Dear Jane,

It’s best not even to think in such terms, as there will always be someone younger, thinner, hotter than you. Don’t even go there. Concentrate on yourself and be the best you can be. Make sure you are well groomed and smelling fresh at all times. I usually don’t give out my secret scent, but if you want to knock the guys off their feet, get “Hypnotic Poison” from Christian Dior, that perfume intoxicates men. Also, go out on Monday nights, there is less competition and a rainy  Monday night is even better! Good luck.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

I feel a lot of pressure when I go out with my friends. It seems getting drunk every weekend is the manly ritual, but I am trying to drink less and my friends give me shit about it constantly. Should I just find new friends or stop going out? How does the average guy stand his ground when trying to stay healthy but keep his friends?

Stan

Dear Stan,

This happens to me a lot to when I go out to karaoke. I even feel pressure from the bar-tenders when I order club soda, they look at me like I am a cheap skate but in reality I am just not a big drinker. Try this, order a half club soda with half cranberry juice (or any juice) when your friends are not paying attention. Get the bar-tender alone for a minute and ask them to put your fancy club soda in a cocktail glass. You can use the “I can’t drink, I’m on anti-biotics” line now and then. If your friends find out and give you a hard time, then yes, maybe it is time to seek out new ones, perhaps in a gym where healthy minded people hang out, after all, if your pals can’t accept the truth and force you to lie, there’s something wrong.

Dr. Dot

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