Dear Dr. Dot,
this is hard for me to talk about. But maybe you can help. I have a “golden shower” fetish.. but it’s always difficult to ask a girl I’m dating to perform it. Im afraid she’ll think I’m a perv. Any advice?
Dear Golden Chuck,
you are not alone, I know many people with peculiar fetishes (feet, smelling stockings, golden showers, etc). As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or involve children, don’t be shy or ashamed. I wouldn’t request that on the first few dates, but you don’t want to get too involved unless you know she can get as freaky as you. You could tell her that you want to enjoy her in every way possible and you adore her so much, that even that part of her turns you on. It’s all in the way you explain it. Asking if she has ever done that before, or heard of it is a good golden shower ice breaker.
I never orgasm when my guy goes down on me. I worry the whole time about his neck getting sore and not only that, he is all over the place, flicking the tip of his tongue around, it’s actually annoying. When I say “let’s just skip it” he gets offended. Sometimes I fake it to get it over with. Help.
most guys learn how to give oral from watching porn, where it’s done just for the visual aspects, but that tongue flicking rarely does it for us gals. Explain to him, gently, that if he wants to make you cum, he should imagine your clit is a block of salt and he is a thirsty cow. Tell him to make his tongue wide and flat and to put pressure on it, never letting up. Up and down motions work wonders for most. (You can demonstrate this on your four fingers or a strawberry to show him what you like) Tell him it’s hard work, but worth it. Every time he stops & changes patterns or positions, he has to start over from square one again. They can’t read your mind, tell him exactly what you want and never fake anything, he doesn’t deserve the praise and your sex life can’t progress unless you tell the truth. If he does a good job and you still can’t cum, just ask him to ‘come up here and do me now!’. That should change the subject. Afterwards, explain that “not all females can cum like that, but it still feels great.” Count your blessings, having a guy who likes to give oral is a good thing, hang onto him, just teach him (somebody has to teach him, it might as well be you!).