Dinah-Moe Humm – by Frank Zappa

I know, lately my blogs have been a bit impersonal, just posting sexy pictures of my favorite eye candy or animal activist banter, with stuffing of my column Ask Dr. Dot.

Lets see, what’s been goin down. Yesterday I had a very successful meeting with a company I can’t mention (bad luck to count yer eggs before they hatch) and they spoke about how my upcoming show will be formatted and how my column will be syndicated into a VERY popular magazine in conjunction with the show, which will show me in my natural habitat (backstage, at a concert, being cheeky to stars and helping folks look and feel better without beating around any bushes).

Oh GAWD, Robert Downey Junior is on E! right now, an old episode of Saturday Night Live, so excuse me while I drool for a minute  Drooling Bouncy Smiley   he is so out of this world sexy, it is hard for gals to watch him and still remember they have a boy friend or husband.

Fiona Apple is the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, what ever happened to her? She is gorgeous, talented and HOT. Did she just disappear? Please do tell.

I am heading to CT again (glutton for punishment) to visit friends and relatives and of course my sister Shannon again. Oh it is so exciting in CT, I just can’t keep away. I am only staying one or two nights. I may want to flee the city again when the Republican National Convention takes over the city EW! I will have to get out of here!

Jasmine returned from camp and is heading back to Berlin tomorrow. All went well, she had a BLAST and grew up even more. I will head to Berlin myself at the end of Sept and stay for around 4 weeks. I wish I could stop traveling, just stay put and give up the suitcase way of life, but I suppose it is out of my control, being that my ancestors (on my Mothers father side) were gypsies.

I miss Frankie  and Lucy  Dog 5 so much, I find myself petting every dog that goes by, even the kind I don’t fancy so much, those wiener dogs  Dog 11  and gasp, Poodles too  Dog 19  (Mr.. Zappa would roll over in his grave). Well, I have to go and continue my Robert Downey Jr. fantasy. I need more questions for my column, and NOT about DICKS. I am not Dr. Dick. Let us move onto other things, K?


Dinah-Moe Humm                  by Frank Zappa

I couldn’t say where she’s coming’ from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can’t make me cum
(Y’jes can’t do it)

She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don’t mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers’n stiffened my thumb
An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked ‘n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn’t hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where’s this Dinah-Moe
Comin’ from
I done spent three hours
An’ I ain’t got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An’ you ain’t been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An’ you ain’t been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain’t been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain’t been to it
‘Cause I can’t get into it
Unless I get out of it
An’ I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
‘Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An’ I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An’ you’re half-way there
‘Cause if my mind’s tore up,
Then my body don’t care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An’ said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin’ the bet
An’ wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn’t matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an’ laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn’t done yet

I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn’t give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An’ asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin’
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin’ an dealin’
WHEELIN’ AN’ DEALIN’ AN’ OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin’
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An’ she started in to squealin’

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin’ an’ her face gone red
Some drool rollin’ down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered ‘n quaked
An’ clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
‘Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it’s real angora
Would y’all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An’ how ’bout you, Fauna?
Y’wanna?

MMM . . . sound like you’re chokin’ on somethin’

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here’s some more . . .

(Oh, baby . . . )

Oh, sure . . . look,
D’you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize ’em . . .
Gimme your lighter . . .

I couldn’t say where she’s coming’ from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can’t make me cum
(Y’jes can’t do it)

I whipped off her bloomers ‘n stiffened my thumb
An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked ‘n stroked till my wrist got numb
An’ you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An’ a little Dinah-Moe
An’ a Dinah-Moe again
An’ Dinah-Moe
An’ Dora too, lil’ Dinah ‘n Dora
An’ Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dinah

Comments are closed.