Sting, German Rock festivals and a whole lotta teen spirit

Can’t write long, I am off to massage Trudie Styler, Stings wife. I have never massaged her before,so I am a bit excited.I will massage her man after the sold out concert.

I guess I forgot how beautiful Berlin could be at times

 Mind you, I still stand by my opinion that it is filled with self-righteous bitchy Berliners, but it is still interesting. I hated it mainly because I was “stuck” in a bad relationship for so long, but now that is long over, I can relax and try to enjoy the city while I am here. I told the ex (who played the “I only want you when I can’t have you” game for too long and LOST) that if he even contacts me again, I will (GASP) call his MOMMY! And that stalking shit came to a screeching halt. German guys are REALLY afraid of their mommies ( and even more so of their Grannys! If you call in the Granny, then it is all out war).All I can say about that chapter without crying is “No more DRAMA” (Mary J. Blige said it best).

The photo above is the Berliner SPREE river. This photo below is Sabine (good pal and old next door neighbor)  Bjoern (pal and German Agent) and I at the Ex Berliner party, which was TOO SMOKEY and hot, so Sabina and I bolted after 20 minutes. The Germans smoke up a fucking storm and you get cancer just breathing in at  a club. On Saturday, Thomas (my Berlin male massage assistant)Jasmine, Lana and I all drove to the Berlinova Festival, which was supposively 90 minutes south of Berlin.

Bullocks! It took us HOURS to get there and then to find it once in the area was impossible. NO SIGNS amongst the miles of fields.Anyways, Jasmine and her pal Lana (photo above) had a BLAST slam dancing and raising hell. I had a tiny bit of pleasure kicking everyone’s ass at the Fussball (table soccer) game.

We were asked to be there to massage the masses of Rock and Punk artist there, but I only gave two massages the whole time(as it was too cold to strip off) and Thomas gave a mini massage in the catering tent to a HOTTIE called Hadl, the singer(?) of the band Everest. He is 24; chain-smokes and has NO IDEA who Robert Plant is. Notice he has my flyer in his right hand 🙂

One of the guys in the band argued that most of the music I love is “DEAD”. He asked “Who do you listen to?”. I told him “Frank Zappa”. “He is DEAD!” He whined.”I love the Beatles too”. Again “Uh, aren’t they dead?” I don’t see how you can play or write music without learning the roots and how can one not appreciate, not love, but appreciate what the “dead” artist have banged out? I told them you better pray to GOD that when you guys die, someone will still listen to your music. They must not be too popular yet, as they played at 11:30AM at a festival that started at 11:00am and went on all night.Hadl is so fucking gorgeous, he looks like Brad Pitt, but younger and sexier. BUT, hot or not, looks don’t insure you a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The music world is so fickle, it’s like ‘Here today, gone TODAY’ sometimes, so don’t mouth off too much OR put Frank down in front of ME.

 Tired crowd- 3 days of CAMPING.

 Just to PROVE to you how “out in the middle of no where” we were, have a look at the SHEEP in the background. This must be Germanys version of Ellington, Connecticut, as in “where the streets STILL have no name. Fresh air, sexy farmer type guys all around.Nice area, but no Woodstock.The biggest name there (on the day we were there) was Sick of it All ( an NY band who I have massaged before).

I will be photographed tomorrow for the cover of the summer issue of the Ex Berliner.They want to shoot me in a bikini-YIKES! So I have to do sit ups and look thin 🙁  hope it works.

But like my hero Frank Zappa sang “who wants to ride on an ironing board, that ain’t no fun, I tried me one, the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’ “. Hee hee, that should be every womans anthem and come-back when someone complains about their curves.

I’m off to massage Trudie

Dr. Dot

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