“You gotta read this”

a magazine called “You gotta read this” did an interview with me, felt liberating:

DON LEMMON ASKS: First of all, what is a day in your life like? What do you do from waking to hitting the hay each day?
YOUR REPLY: I am a night owl ( not a party girl, just a night person) and I am usually on the computer until around 4 or 5 (AM!) each night. Then I sleep until around 1pm, get up , answer about 300 emails, I have to answer about 30 phone calls a day from all over the world ( which I hate!) I  have a protein shake, jog and work out at home, eat something healthy and get ready to either go massage someone, get a massage ( my audition for new assistants) or run errands. On a night where I find time, I try to sneak in some karaoke in the city ( NYC).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would you say is the highlight of your career so far and how does it compare to your overall career goal?
YOUR REPLY:Meeting Paul McCartney and touring with Frank Zappa was for me the highlights, as they are my heroes. Moderating the Berlin Film Festival in Germany was also a highlight, my overall career goals are so huge, I am aiming to take fitness, massage and humor and make a TV show that rivals Ophras, I have more ambition than you can imagine, I have only just begun kicking butt here in the states!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who was the first person to tell you getting into this profession was a crazy idea? At what point did you agree (even if it was momentarily)?
YOUR REPLY: The manager of the Stones told me when I was 18 that no one would want to read such a book ( The diary of a rock and roll masseuse) and tried to make me ” focus” on other goals, but it only made me more determined. I once stopped massaging Rock stars for a few months in 1987 to study photography at UNH, but after a few months the Grateful Dead toured again and I couldn’t resist reviving my career all over again, I just can’t stop!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have you made some contacts using the internet that you know you wouldn’t have made if it weren’t for the web?
YOUR REPLY: Of course! The Associate Press article was made possible by the internet, every one finds me, including you Don, via internet, I could NOT live with out it. My web site gets over 1 million visitors per month, so I rely on the net!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Funny how it usually works. We grow up wanting to be firefighters or nurses, then due to the glory of media, rock stars, actors, or millionaires and then reality sits in. What’s your story? How did you get into what you do?
YOUR REPLY: I was raised by very young hippie parents. They only listened to Rock, smoked grass, and all that hippie crap. The had me walking on their backs at age 4 and 5 already, and then I would massage my parents, especially my mom. So massage and music is what I was raised on. My parents constantly brought me to rock concerts and by the time I was 14, I was going on my own with friends. I wanted to meet my “heroes” and tried. It was not easy to do that after the shows. I then came up with the idea to go to the concert halls in the day time, before security was tight and offer massage to get in for free. I was 15 years old and massaged Def Leppard in Hampton VA, that is when it clicked that my massage talent could bring me closer to the stars and get me in to see music for free. It is, needless to say, snowballed into an amazing career for me, but it wasn’t an easy task!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would your dream project be?
YOUR REPLY:I have many! I want to do a movie, I have written a screen play, it super funny, but I can not give details. I want to have my own weekly show ( daily is to much) I want to have a chain of massage/spas all over the world, bring out my own line of Massage oils, tables, and “how to massage” DVDs, plus publish all 4 of my books,so you see, I haven’t just “one” dream project.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me one of the negatives aspects of your field. Do not say there are none!
YOUR REPLY: People give me shit all the time, assuming I shag the stars because I look sexy in some of my photos; other massage therapist who are madly jealous over my success write me hate mail, sometimes the stars don’t want to pay, they try to put that part off, everyone wants something for free. Most ALL articles written about me have at least 3 wrong quotes and facts in them! But the press won’t let you proof read their story before it goes to print, that’s why folks, don’t ever believe everything you read!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What are your 5 favorite websites?
YOUR REPLY: Discovery Channel ( Animal Planet), David Letterman, www.drdot.com, Frank Zappa.com, Beatles.com, www.catch.com, I am not much into surfing, I am always writing my blog everyday and have no time to surf! I use www.ask.com  constantly!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me something people do not realize about you, maybe it’s not a secret, maybe it’s not anything special, but it could be something no one else has ever asked you about until now.
YOUR REPLY:I am an extreme animal activist, I donate to so many funds and watch Animal Precinct every night. I HATE cigarettes beyond belief and I don’t drink, I am a health not, everyone thinks that because I hang out with rock stars, I must party, but I don’t!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What’s the craziest thing you have experienced in the industry? Maybe it’s something you witnessed and didn’t participate in that would shock us, make us laugh or show us another side to things besides the obvious.
YOUR REPLY: Charlie Watts of the Stones actually sketches his unmade bed in every single hotel he has slept in since the last 30 years, I get to see such things, which makes my job special. I got to see KISS do their own face make up before a few shows, I got to BURP into Frank Zappa’s sampler on the 1988 tour and he used my burp throughout the tour to make fun of the TV evangelists, so now you can hear my burp on his CD called ” the best band you’ve never heard in your life”. I have seen over 20 years of strange shit going on back stage, it would never fit in this interview, that is why I wrote the book ” Butt Naked and Backstage” which isn’t out yet here.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Anything embarrassing happen when YOU were trying to look cool? What?
YOUR REPLY: I fell down while massaging Bruce Willis for the first time. He had the room so freakin dark, I forgot I put a stool near the head area of the massage table. I did one arm and while moving quickly around to do the other arm, I flipped over that stool, almost like a cartwheel! I landed on my butt and Bruce was like ” Dot, where are you? ” After that night, he always called me Ms. Bean ( as in Mr. Bean is clumsy too).
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest lie about your industry ever is:
YOUR REPLY: That I fuck stars!
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest PLUS FACTOR about your industry is:
YOUR REPLY: I am my own boss, I constantly get free advertising thanks to the press interest in me, so my biz keeps growing like crazy. I have seen over 3,000 concerts for free ( that was my original plan!) and I get to see every star I massage naked, the full monty! AND, I get the best stories out of them, because, when they are naked, they never shut up!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have the people around you changed since you’ve gotten recognition for your work? Sometimes those who weren’t so supportive in the beginning, suddenly became supportive or possibly vice versa; they became less supportive. Do fans freak you out?
YOUR REPLY: oh, you mean, to people kiss my ass now? Yes, in Germany I am a star and I noticed this brown nosing effect already long ago. I get on the VIP guest list to every party, get into every club for free, get free food etc, I don’t take it seriously at all, I still have my old friends and do not let any of that shit go to my head, I have been around it since I am 15, I have seen every angle of it, even how people kiss the stars butts all the time, in fact, that is why the stars love me so much, i DO NOT brown nose! Fans don’t freak me out, I am polite and cool to them and they relax around me, fans only freak out if you treat them like a fan!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your most frequently asked question and/or what question makes you crazy whenever asked but you somehow remain composed enough to answer?
YOUR REPLY: “Who is your favorite star?” or  ” Can you get Mick or Sting to let us video tape you massaging him?” ( TV stations ask that every time, as if Mick would just allow cameras to tape me massaging him! For FREE no less!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who do you see in the media, on TV or hear on the radio that just makes you wonder how in the hell they got there or who in the hell does this person know?
YOUR REPLY: Lil’ Kim is so nasty to look at, she has had more plastic surgery and has fake hair, eye color, boobs, teeth, lipo and her clothes simply scream “CRACK WHORE”. I can not even look at her without feeling ill. I also find Ben Affleck totally BORING, what was J.Lo even thinking?
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me a joke!
YOUR REPLY: THIS IS EVE’S VERSION
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?” inquired God.
“It is all so beautiful, God” she replied. “The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful.
But I have just this one problem. It’s these three breasts that you have
given me.  The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly
knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on
bushes.  They’re a real pain,” reported Eve. Eve went on to tell God that
many other parts of her body such as her limbs, eyes, and ears ! came in
pairs, and she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more
symmetrically
balanced, as she put it.
“That is a fair point,” replied God. “This is my first shot at
this, you know.I gave the animals six breast, so I figured that you needed
only half of those,but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away.”
God reached down, removed the middle breast, and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the Garden.
” Well, Eve, how is my ! favorite creation now?”
“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one oversight on your
part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The Ewe has a Ram and the Cow has
her Bull. All the animals have a mate except me.  I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve you are right.
How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will
immediately create a man from a part of you……now let me see….
      ” WHERE DID I PUT THAT USELESS BOOB?”

   NOW, DOESN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THAT BUSINESS ABOUT THE RIB?

(well, you asked for a joke!)
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your favorite music album and what music group do you listen to most often?
YOUR REPLY: Joe’s Garage and anything by Frank Zappa, then ” Abbey Road” and ANYTHING by the Beatles. I also like Led Zepp,old Pink Floyd, and Janis Joplin, Hendrix, Moody Blues, and sometimes I like funk, I love Prince and Outkast.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who should hang up their hat in this business? Why?
YOUR REPLY: Michael Douglas, because I find him dull and annoying AND I hate the fact that no matter how friggin old he gets, he always plays the boyfriend or husband of some pretty young thing, even in real life- EW!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me your favorite movie genre, name a few titles, and the video or dvd you have watched the most:
YOUR REPLY: I like romantic comedies and just plain comedy in general. Guy Ritchie films:Snatch, Lock Stock and even Swept Away!I love Ben Still and Adam Sandler. Forrest Gump is amazing, I have watched it at least 20 times. I also love Austin Powers, and LOVE Sex and the City ( I know it is not a movie, but I LOVE every episode).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is the TV show do you miss from childhood… I used to love Land of the Giants and Dance Fever (kidding)….
YOUR REPLY:Happy Days, Sesame Street, Fat Albert! 
DON LEMMON ASKS: Ever had someone from school or an odd job back in the day try and track you down after realizing what you do for a living now?
YOUR REPLY: Oh, every day. Everyone I have ever met seems to find me now online. I have gone to 15 different schools in 12 years of school, from TN, to GA, to ME, to NH, RI, CT, VA etc etc, and they ALL find me now and want to chat. Almost every boy I have ever kissed too!
DON LEMMON ASKS: If you were anyone else besides yourself, who would you be (even for just a day, on a good day) and did you emulate them growing up?
YOUR REPLY:Paul McCartney or Ellen Degeneres, I didn’t know of Ellen when I was growing up, but I like her style and humor. Paul has moved the whole word with his lyrics and he is a true man, an animal activist, I love him.

DON LEMMON ASKS: Who is the most intriguing person in your business today besides yourself? Why?
YOUR REPLY: I think Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jole, both are gorgeous, rich, famous, but caring and fun, not slutty or dumb, like most females in the biz. I adore their strength and inner beauty.
DON LEMMON ASKS: What did we forget?
YOUR REPLY: My web sites  www.drdot.com  and www.puredrdot.com  

Don Lemmon
www.donlemmon.com

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