“You gotta read this”

a magazine called “You gotta read this” did an interview with me, felt liberating:

DON LEMMON ASKS: First of all, what is a day in your life like? What do you do from waking to hitting the hay each day?
YOUR REPLY: I am a night owl ( not a party girl, just a night person) and I am usually on the computer until around 4 or 5 (AM!) each night. Then I sleep until around 1pm, get up , answer about 300 emails, I have to answer about 30 phone calls a day from all over the world ( which I hate!) I  have a protein shake, jog and work out at home, eat something healthy and get ready to either go massage someone, get a massage ( my audition for new assistants) or run errands. On a night where I find time, I try to sneak in some karaoke in the city ( NYC).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would you say is the highlight of your career so far and how does it compare to your overall career goal?
YOUR REPLY:Meeting Paul McCartney and touring with Frank Zappa was for me the highlights, as they are my heroes. Moderating the Berlin Film Festival in Germany was also a highlight, my overall career goals are so huge, I am aiming to take fitness, massage and humor and make a TV show that rivals Ophras, I have more ambition than you can imagine, I have only just begun kicking butt here in the states!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who was the first person to tell you getting into this profession was a crazy idea? At what point did you agree (even if it was momentarily)?
YOUR REPLY: The manager of the Stones told me when I was 18 that no one would want to read such a book ( The diary of a rock and roll masseuse) and tried to make me ” focus” on other goals, but it only made me more determined. I once stopped massaging Rock stars for a few months in 1987 to study photography at UNH, but after a few months the Grateful Dead toured again and I couldn’t resist reviving my career all over again, I just can’t stop!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have you made some contacts using the internet that you know you wouldn’t have made if it weren’t for the web?
YOUR REPLY: Of course! The Associate Press article was made possible by the internet, every one finds me, including you Don, via internet, I could NOT live with out it. My web site gets over 1 million visitors per month, so I rely on the net!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Funny how it usually works. We grow up wanting to be firefighters or nurses, then due to the glory of media, rock stars, actors, or millionaires and then reality sits in. What’s your story? How did you get into what you do?
YOUR REPLY: I was raised by very young hippie parents. They only listened to Rock, smoked grass, and all that hippie crap. The had me walking on their backs at age 4 and 5 already, and then I would massage my parents, especially my mom. So massage and music is what I was raised on. My parents constantly brought me to rock concerts and by the time I was 14, I was going on my own with friends. I wanted to meet my “heroes” and tried. It was not easy to do that after the shows. I then came up with the idea to go to the concert halls in the day time, before security was tight and offer massage to get in for free. I was 15 years old and massaged Def Leppard in Hampton VA, that is when it clicked that my massage talent could bring me closer to the stars and get me in to see music for free. It is, needless to say, snowballed into an amazing career for me, but it wasn’t an easy task!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What would your dream project be?
YOUR REPLY:I have many! I want to do a movie, I have written a screen play, it super funny, but I can not give details. I want to have my own weekly show ( daily is to much) I want to have a chain of massage/spas all over the world, bring out my own line of Massage oils, tables, and “how to massage” DVDs, plus publish all 4 of my books,so you see, I haven’t just “one” dream project.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me one of the negatives aspects of your field. Do not say there are none!
YOUR REPLY: People give me shit all the time, assuming I shag the stars because I look sexy in some of my photos; other massage therapist who are madly jealous over my success write me hate mail, sometimes the stars don’t want to pay, they try to put that part off, everyone wants something for free. Most ALL articles written about me have at least 3 wrong quotes and facts in them! But the press won’t let you proof read their story before it goes to print, that’s why folks, don’t ever believe everything you read!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What are your 5 favorite websites?
YOUR REPLY: Discovery Channel ( Animal Planet), David Letterman, www.drdot.com, Frank Zappa.com, Beatles.com, www.catch.com, I am not much into surfing, I am always writing my blog everyday and have no time to surf! I use www.ask.com  constantly!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me something people do not realize about you, maybe it’s not a secret, maybe it’s not anything special, but it could be something no one else has ever asked you about until now.
YOUR REPLY:I am an extreme animal activist, I donate to so many funds and watch Animal Precinct every night. I HATE cigarettes beyond belief and I don’t drink, I am a health not, everyone thinks that because I hang out with rock stars, I must party, but I don’t!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What’s the craziest thing you have experienced in the industry? Maybe it’s something you witnessed and didn’t participate in that would shock us, make us laugh or show us another side to things besides the obvious.
YOUR REPLY: Charlie Watts of the Stones actually sketches his unmade bed in every single hotel he has slept in since the last 30 years, I get to see such things, which makes my job special. I got to see KISS do their own face make up before a few shows, I got to BURP into Frank Zappa’s sampler on the 1988 tour and he used my burp throughout the tour to make fun of the TV evangelists, so now you can hear my burp on his CD called ” the best band you’ve never heard in your life”. I have seen over 20 years of strange shit going on back stage, it would never fit in this interview, that is why I wrote the book ” Butt Naked and Backstage” which isn’t out yet here.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Anything embarrassing happen when YOU were trying to look cool? What?
YOUR REPLY: I fell down while massaging Bruce Willis for the first time. He had the room so freakin dark, I forgot I put a stool near the head area of the massage table. I did one arm and while moving quickly around to do the other arm, I flipped over that stool, almost like a cartwheel! I landed on my butt and Bruce was like ” Dot, where are you? ” After that night, he always called me Ms. Bean ( as in Mr. Bean is clumsy too).
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest lie about your industry ever is:
YOUR REPLY: That I fuck stars!
DON LEMMON ASKS: The biggest PLUS FACTOR about your industry is:
YOUR REPLY: I am my own boss, I constantly get free advertising thanks to the press interest in me, so my biz keeps growing like crazy. I have seen over 3,000 concerts for free ( that was my original plan!) and I get to see every star I massage naked, the full monty! AND, I get the best stories out of them, because, when they are naked, they never shut up!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Have the people around you changed since you’ve gotten recognition for your work? Sometimes those who weren’t so supportive in the beginning, suddenly became supportive or possibly vice versa; they became less supportive. Do fans freak you out?
YOUR REPLY: oh, you mean, to people kiss my ass now? Yes, in Germany I am a star and I noticed this brown nosing effect already long ago. I get on the VIP guest list to every party, get into every club for free, get free food etc, I don’t take it seriously at all, I still have my old friends and do not let any of that shit go to my head, I have been around it since I am 15, I have seen every angle of it, even how people kiss the stars butts all the time, in fact, that is why the stars love me so much, i DO NOT brown nose! Fans don’t freak me out, I am polite and cool to them and they relax around me, fans only freak out if you treat them like a fan!
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your most frequently asked question and/or what question makes you crazy whenever asked but you somehow remain composed enough to answer?
YOUR REPLY: “Who is your favorite star?” or  ” Can you get Mick or Sting to let us video tape you massaging him?” ( TV stations ask that every time, as if Mick would just allow cameras to tape me massaging him! For FREE no less!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who do you see in the media, on TV or hear on the radio that just makes you wonder how in the hell they got there or who in the hell does this person know?
YOUR REPLY: Lil’ Kim is so nasty to look at, she has had more plastic surgery and has fake hair, eye color, boobs, teeth, lipo and her clothes simply scream “CRACK WHORE”. I can not even look at her without feeling ill. I also find Ben Affleck totally BORING, what was J.Lo even thinking?
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me a joke!
YOUR REPLY: THIS IS EVE’S VERSION
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
So, how is everything going?” inquired God.
“It is all so beautiful, God” she replied. “The sunrises and
sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful.
But I have just this one problem. It’s these three breasts that you have
given me.  The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly
knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on
bushes.  They’re a real pain,” reported Eve. Eve went on to tell God that
many other parts of her body such as her limbs, eyes, and ears ! came in
pairs, and she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more
symmetrically
balanced, as she put it.
“That is a fair point,” replied God. “This is my first shot at
this, you know.I gave the animals six breast, so I figured that you needed
only half of those,but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away.”
God reached down, removed the middle breast, and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the Garden.
” Well, Eve, how is my ! favorite creation now?”
“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one oversight on your
part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The Ewe has a Ram and the Cow has
her Bull. All the animals have a mate except me.  I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve you are right.
How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will
immediately create a man from a part of you……now let me see….
      ” WHERE DID I PUT THAT USELESS BOOB?”

   NOW, DOESN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THAT BUSINESS ABOUT THE RIB?

(well, you asked for a joke!)
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is your favorite music album and what music group do you listen to most often?
YOUR REPLY: Joe’s Garage and anything by Frank Zappa, then ” Abbey Road” and ANYTHING by the Beatles. I also like Led Zepp,old Pink Floyd, and Janis Joplin, Hendrix, Moody Blues, and sometimes I like funk, I love Prince and Outkast.
DON LEMMON ASKS: Who should hang up their hat in this business? Why?
YOUR REPLY: Michael Douglas, because I find him dull and annoying AND I hate the fact that no matter how friggin old he gets, he always plays the boyfriend or husband of some pretty young thing, even in real life- EW!
DON LEMMON ASKS: Tell me your favorite movie genre, name a few titles, and the video or dvd you have watched the most:
YOUR REPLY: I like romantic comedies and just plain comedy in general. Guy Ritchie films:Snatch, Lock Stock and even Swept Away!I love Ben Still and Adam Sandler. Forrest Gump is amazing, I have watched it at least 20 times. I also love Austin Powers, and LOVE Sex and the City ( I know it is not a movie, but I LOVE every episode).
DON LEMMON ASKS: What is the TV show do you miss from childhood… I used to love Land of the Giants and Dance Fever (kidding)….
YOUR REPLY:Happy Days, Sesame Street, Fat Albert! 
DON LEMMON ASKS: Ever had someone from school or an odd job back in the day try and track you down after realizing what you do for a living now?
YOUR REPLY: Oh, every day. Everyone I have ever met seems to find me now online. I have gone to 15 different schools in 12 years of school, from TN, to GA, to ME, to NH, RI, CT, VA etc etc, and they ALL find me now and want to chat. Almost every boy I have ever kissed too!
DON LEMMON ASKS: If you were anyone else besides yourself, who would you be (even for just a day, on a good day) and did you emulate them growing up?
YOUR REPLY:Paul McCartney or Ellen Degeneres, I didn’t know of Ellen when I was growing up, but I like her style and humor. Paul has moved the whole word with his lyrics and he is a true man, an animal activist, I love him.

DON LEMMON ASKS: Who is the most intriguing person in your business today besides yourself? Why?
YOUR REPLY: I think Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jole, both are gorgeous, rich, famous, but caring and fun, not slutty or dumb, like most females in the biz. I adore their strength and inner beauty.
DON LEMMON ASKS: What did we forget?
YOUR REPLY: My web sites  www.drdot.com  and www.puredrdot.com  

Don Lemmon
www.donlemmon.com

The Fifth Wheel ( Man Magnet)

This time the big boss of Universal, who produces the 5th Wheel, wrote me and assured me this time it will REALLY be on!

If you stay up LATE next Friday night, which is April 30th, stay up until 1am(which is technically May 1st), and you are just channel surfing, why not have a look at that show, the 5th wheel. I put a lot of time and effort into filming the episode I was on, and it is worth watching. Now, I must say, I know they can use those cartoon like pop up windows and antics to take the piss out of someone on the show if they (producers/editors) didn’t like one of the people on the show, but as far as I know, it went WELL and it was a very sarcastic atmosphere, everyone at eachother’s throats and groins.

If you want to see what I wrote about  the show, click HERE and to see WHO is on the show click  HERE .

I put some really funny photos in that last “HERE” and made fun of the other contestants, it is all part of the vibe there, it is very competitive! By the time they threw me into the 5th Wheel van, the other contestants had already been together the whole day, the females had already showed their tits to the guys and they had already made out with eachother etc.

So it was up to me to convince one of those guys to leave their nasty girls for me. I did this without showing any skin or kissing anyone. Words are oh so powerful!

The 5th Wheel
Episode #3537  

Saturday, May 1
12:30AM EDT
WGNSAT
Saturday, May 1
1:00AM EDT
WNYWDT2
Channel 44.2
UPN
Saturday, May 1
1:00AM EDT
WWOR
Channel 9
UPN

click HERE to see your local listing                                       

 
An insomniac New York date has fishing poles, contortionists, truth-or-dare, the Statue of Liberty, Russian beauties, and a “man-magnet.” (TVPG)
 
 

To find out the local channel that will air this episode, click HERE . I am taking a risk here, as they may have well twisted it all around in their editing techniques, but what the hell, have a look, have a laugh. The “man magnet” they are writing about is me. They tell all people who are picked to be the “5th WHEEL” to do a short 2 minute monologue about themselves, that would purposely provocate and annoy the other contestants, to stir things up. They really DO tell you to be outrageous and to stir things up. So that is what became of my little clip. They let the two couples spend all day together, swapping partners, and getting all cozy with one another, then they sit them all down in the van and show them all the little video of who the 5th Wheel will be that day.

Naturally the females watching the film are already loathing me and are ready to rip my hair out before I even get onto the van! So, immediately after showing the clip, they throw the 5th Wheel in, this time being me.

You have to be very confident, hold your own, as they all want to verbally rough you up, all at once. After my roughing up on the Howard Stern show back in March 6, 2002 ( in which I did hold my own as good as one can against a room full of obnoxious, agressive PIGS) I have learned to never let that shit happen again, so I was ready and we had a sharp exchange of words, it was fucking funny!

I will be up watching and if I stay up and wait for the show and it doesn’t come on again, I will just give up on ever seeing it. So this is the last time I plus this friggin’ show on the blog. If it comes on and you see it, email me your comments – the good, bad and the ugly ones too.

Dr.

Chris Rock RULES

“If you like Fuckin’, marriage ain’t for you!”

My face hurts from watching Chris Rock’s new special “Never Scared” on HBO. It is the funniest shit I have seen since his last special “Bigger and Blacker”. He is definately at the top of my wish list, as to who I would like to massage and hang with. Glad I am not the only one who is against the idea of marriage. It is old fashioned and makes people too comfortable. You just try harder when you are just in love without a contract.

Advantages of both sexes

A poem for females….

                                                                                                            

 I shave my legs,

 I sit down to pee.

 And I can justify

 any shopping spree.

 Don’t go to a barber,

 but a beauty salon.

 I can get a massage

 without a hard-on.

 I can balance the checkbook,

 I can pump my own gas.

 Can talk to my friends,

 about the size of my ass.

 My beauty’s a masterpiece,

 and yes, it takes long.                                                                                                  

 At least I can admit,

 to others when I’m wrong.

 I don’t drive in circles,

 at any cost.

 And I don’t have a problem,

 admitting I’m lost.

 I never forget,

 an important date.

 You just gotta deal with it,

 I’m usually late.

 I don’t watch movies,

with lots of gore.

 Don’t need instant replay, 

 to remember the score.

 I won’t lose my hair,

 I don’t get jock itch.

 And just cause I’m assertive,

 Don’t call me a bitch.                                                                             

 Don’t say to your friends,

 Oh yeah, I can get her.

 In your dreams, my dear,

 I can do better!

 Flowers are okay,

 But jewelry’s best.

 Look at me you idiot…

 Not at my chest????

 I don’t have a problem,

 With Expressing my feelings.

 I know when you’re lying,

 You look at the ceiling.

 DON’T call me a GIRL ,

 a BABE or a CHICK .

 I am a WOMAN.

 Get it?, you DICK!?!


WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

            What do you expect from such simple creatures!?
                         Your last name stays put.
                          The garage is all yours.
                   Wedding plans take care of themselves.
                      Chocolate is just another snack.
                           You can be president.
               You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
                 You can wear NO  T-shirt to a water park.
                     Car mechanics tell you the truth.
                         The world is your urinal.
           You never have to drive to another gas station because
                        “this one’s just too icky”.
   You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
                            Same work, more pay.                    
                          Wrinkles add character.
                Wedding dress — $5000; tux rental — $100.
       People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
        The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
             New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
                          One mood, ALL the time.
              Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
                        You know stuff about tanks.
              A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
                      You can open all your own jars.
       You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
   If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
                 Your underwear is $5.95 for a three-pack           
                 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
              You almost never have strap problems in public.
              You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
             Everything on your face stays its original color. 


             The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
                 You only have to shave your face and neck.
                   You can play with toys all your life.
                  Your belly usually hides your big hips.
         One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
             You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
                You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
         You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
             You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives…
                      on December 24… in 45 minutes.
                        No wonder men are happier!!!
(thanks to my pal John for this man “poem”)


A male friend of mine let me in our pure man talk the other day. I get that a lot, I get the raw shit, stuff guys hide from their girlfriends, or even females in general!
 For some reason, they don’t hold back, they tell me the same shit they tell their guy pals. On one hand, that is great, then I can take that knowledge and help people with it, on the other hand, over the years, it has made me jaded, as in, no one can pull the wool over my eyes/bullshit me. Anyhow, he was saying, you see, a woman like you, well you are a “1” . I was like “huh?”-
“Yes, we rate chicks on a scale from 1 to 5, 1 being the best, hottest, 5 being a double bagger, emergency shag” he continued. Us guys, well, we all love to drool over the “1” chicks, but know they are too much trouble, you can never have them to yourselves. All the other guys want them and it is not worth the trouble. We prefer a “3” who thinks she is a “4”.” HELLO!! I was a bit annoyed, but then again, I hear women say the same thing, “He is hot, but I wouldn’t want him for my boyfriend, too many chicks would be after him and I don’t need the extra hassel!”
Funny how when Spring arrives,  I get more business in the “relationship help” department. I get so much work, so many calls, sessions, emails, mostly from females in distress. They are all having  the same crisis. Their guys are all action apathetic. Suddenly their men don’t call much, don’t visit much, they act like they don’t care much.
It is the time of year ladies. Spring, they want to be single and check out the other females. Let them fucking go if they want to. Just get  busy. Work out big time, eat healthy, learn something new, go to new places you have never been to, just go go GO! Nothing worse than chasing a guy. It never works anyways.
How can you prevent this horn-dog triggered behaviour? What could you do differently? Not much, you could buy him a hat or cap of some kind come April 1st, so that not so many sun rays get to his head, which trigger his hormones to go wild and balls to grow bigger. Keep him inside, in the dark like a mushroom if you can. heehee.
Just get busy I say, that’s all you can do or just………
“Love the One You’re With”
by Stephen Stills

If you’re down and confused, and you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to. Concentration slip away, ‘cause your baby is so far away.

Well there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.

And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit, dit dit dit, dit dit dit.

Turn your heartache right into joy, she’s a girl, and you’re a boy. Well get it together, make it real nice,
You ain’t gonna need anymore advice.

Wolves in Alaska are still running for their lives

Hi Dr. Dot,

Wolves in Alaska are still running for their lives, but I                     
personally wanted to thank you. With Defenders of
Wildlife, we have already raised over $80,000 and
generated an additional 30,000 petition signatures
demanding that Alaska’s Governor Murkowski end the
savage aerial killing of wolves.

Despite our efforts so far, unbelievably, the killing
continues. We are more committed than ever to ending
this barbaric slaughter. We need your help to step up
our public education and mobilization advertising
campaign calling for an end to aerial gunning which
will run in major newspapers across the country.

Support our efforts here: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

Plans for the next ten days include:
** Purchasing ad space in editions of The Washington
Post, USA Today and the Los Angeles Times that will
reach over 1.5 million and help us to reach our goal
of 100,000 petitions. Launching an email mobilization
campaign that will go to over 900,000 wildlife activists
and supporters. See ad: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13503

** The public must understand the brutal nature of
chasing down wolves from airplanes until they are too
tired to run any further. They need to know how wolf
packs suffer when their family members are shot
point-blank, too exhausted to escape.

Our goal is to raise another $45,000 by Earth Day, 4/22,
to place more ads and expand our public outreach and
mobilization campaign. We need your help.
Go to: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

Thank you for caring,
Randy Paynter
President, Care2 &
The Petition Site

PS. When I hear about these sickening wolf hunts, I feel better
knowing that so many of you are out there who also care.
Thank you so much for your help — it makes me proud to
be a part of such an amazing community.

You can help here: http://www.care2.com/go/z/13454

Dr. Dot’s tips on where to eat, sing and drink in NYC

The last few days have been so gorgeous, even the buildings in the city are basking in the long awaited sun.

You get the idea, gorgeous weather, nice breeze through Central Park. I walked by the Dakota, where that ASSHOLE shot John Lennon on my way to the park. There are always people gathered out front, no matter what time of day or night. They are there to show love. I roller-bladed around the park one time, which is 7 miles. Dodging the many bikers and horse drawn carts, dogs on LONG leashes etc.

There were so many people on the Grand Lawn, I looked to see if Bob Dylan was in the middle somewhere playing or something, but no, just a normal sunny day in the park- packed full and happy.

I find the biggest problem in the park for women is finding a place to pee. There are only two places that I know of to go to and the lines are about a block long, so forget it. You can’t find a private bush or hope to drop your knickers real quick and have a pee without anyone seeing you, both ideas are absolutely impossible. There are always people around no matter what square inch of land you find in the park. I had to go to like 110th street ( which I think is already Harlem) and ask the NYC Bus Department  if I could roller-blade in and use their bathroom. I was the only white cracker around for miles, but they let me. I personally never saw the black/white thing. I get along with anyone until they give me a good reason not to. After I used the bathroom, the bus drivers ( all black) were shootin’ the breeze with me, asking me to show them how to skate someday. I told them I can’t drive a bus, so we are even. We had a few laughs and I was off. Thinking the whole time how wierd it is that from almost one block to the next you go from million dollar apartments to Harlem, where it is obvious the people struggle for every dime they earn. I feel safe no matter where I go to, as the people can sense that I do not think I am better or worse then they are. It is all about how you carry yourself. Use your body language to let people know “he, it’s all good, let’s get along and forget this class/color bullshit!”.

Anyhow, after skating, I had a bit to eat at Dallas BBQ on 72nd street ( almost corner of Central Park West- near Dakota) and thought, why not let you know where my favorite places to eat are and maybe some favorite places to go etc, in the city. If you knew HOW fucking picky I am in restaraunts, you would know that if I suggest a place, it IS GOOD. I am no diva, but I can cook really well and if I go out to eat, it had better be much better than what I can cook or at least have perfect service. So, for food here we go:


Dallas BBQ ( think they have 5 or 6 locations just in Manhattan alone but the one on 72nd street is REALLY clean and has amazing service probably because of the neighborhood it is in, they want to be ready for when Mike Tyson pops in again)

Dallas BBQ is rather inexpenisve AND gives you huge portions, like this obnoxious thing they call the ONION LOAF:

Can you see how BIg this thing is? Afraid 

I had to whip out my camera and take photos, prompting everyone around to laugh their asses off. I wondered how many calories are in that heap of onions and fat. It could feed a small country, it is about a foot tall! Anyways, they have BBQ ribs, chicken, baked potatoes, fries, corn bread, all that stuff and more ( I ate a salad and some of that Onion Mountain and was so full, I had to take my BBQ home and I just ate it, it was AWESOME). So, if you want down home cookin’ in the city and don’t want to spend a fortune ( or dress up) go to Dallas BBQ. You can stuff yourself for under $10!

Moving right along.


Yaffa Cafe: 97 St. Marks place between First ave and Ave A.

This place is open 24/7 everyday! You can get eggs, pancakes, salads, pasta, seafood, crab cakes, and incredible desserts. The best part about this place is the famous decor.It has paintings of Elvis, plastic friut everywhere, gilded statues and big tacky fountain out back for when the weather is fine. There is not one square inch of wall that isn’t decorated, so you will always have something to chat about. The prices are great! Again, you can have a meal, dessert and drink for under $15. Love it!


Sala: 344 Bowery at Great Jones street 1-212-979-6606 ( you may have to reserve a table on weekends).

This place is a bit pricey, average main course is about $17 ( not including drinks and tip!). I love it because it is an extremely romantic place, huge wooden doors that make you think you are entering a castle and it is lit up by candles everywhere. It is a Spanish restaraunt that has a breath taking wine list.Bread topped with garlicky saute’et mushrooms are just one of the many tasty tapas you can order. They have a downstairs lounge that has an almost Moorish setting of bead-encrusted blue tiled walls and most of the week they have a cool DJ there to entertain while you sip gorgeous wine. Anyone looks good here in the lighting and even the tables are covered in colored tiles that make up for the perfect setting for a date. Yummy, gorgeous, but expensive. Expect to pay around $65 for two people (or more if you drink a lot). Very polite service but tell them right away, you DON’T do tap water. ( I read that each glass of water in NYC has been in and out of at least 9 different people by the time you drink it! EW!)


44&X :  It is called 44 times ten because it is on 44th street and 10th ave! Check it out their web site 

I go to this place the most. I LOVE it. It is really right on the corner of 44th and 10th, and it is all glass, so you have a cool view of Hells Kitchen while you eat. In other words, there isn’t a bad seat in the place! All of the waiters ( 99% of them are gorgeous gay men) have on t-shirts that say “Heaven” on the front, and “In HELL” on the back. I have brought many stars here to eat and their managers too. They all love it. The menu is so bizarre, you can get anything here, buttermilk fried chicken with waffles and grits, or beef filet slathered with a sweet tomatoe jam and served with mashed potatoes mixed with butter beans or grilled short ribs over polenta. ( I only eat chicken as far as meat is concerned) . The salads are creative and desserts to die for. The wine is the best here I have ever tasted and the all white HUGE dining room, they always have cool music playing and there are too many waiters, so you never have to wait for anything! The menu  has an Aisian and Southwestern mix to it, so everyone will be happy here it is AMAZING! Again, it is a bit pricey, so only go there with someone who wants to invite you to dinner (hee hee). I am getting hungry now just writting about the place! It is only open Mon-Wed 5:30pm-midnight; Thursday and Friday5:30pm to 12:30am;Sat and Sun 11:30am to 3pm then again from 5:30pm to Midnight. Enjoy!


Cafeteria: 119 Seventh ave ( in Chelsea) tel: 212 -414-1717  ( it is always packed, so you might have to call if you want a table).

This place is packed because Sex and the City has filmed there a few times and the food is good! It is not a place to go if you are a hetro female and want to pick up a hetro men. No no no. This is the gay area of Manhattan, so you won’t even have to make yourself gorgeous to go out to eat if you are a hetro gal ( which is a good thing). It is pretty loud and busy, lots of action. The menu is intersting ( the have green eggs and ham, like from the cat and the hat story, but they use pesto to make them green). Gorgeous salads and healthy foods. It doesn’t take long to eat here, the waitresses are lingering around like voltures in hopes you are finally finished and will get the hell out of there so they can seat the next paying customer, so you can’t linger here like you do in Starbucks. But it is thrilling, tasty and not that expensive.


By now you must be thinking, god, is that all you do is eat? Well, I do go out sometime to have a drink, but usually only to do karaoke. If you don’t know the name of my favorite karaoke places by now, why not? Find out what bar/club is having karaoke in NYC and the surrounding burrows buy clicking here .

 Lucky Chengs is on 1st street and 1st ave ( almost on the corner) this is the now famous karaoke/transvestite chinese restaraunt/karoake club/bar that Britney Spears went to last week and was almost beat up by a jealous girl from the audience. Britney was apparently judging the boxers or brief contest and got a bit to touchy-feely with one of the male contestants.Anyhow, Lucky Cheng is exciting and a good laugh, but the transvestite karaoke dj will sabotage your song if you are a straight, good looking woman ( hence, competition) and this is a fact. The song list is SHIT and you can’t bring your own.

There are always men dressed as women and women dressed as men, and men who used to be women and vice versa fighting over the mirror in the “ladies” room. I think it is dirty and over-rated, but what the hell, check it out.


Other clubs that are fun, that have nothing to do with karaoke are: Niagra ,CBGBS ( both in lower east villiage) which both have a punk aroma to them, and Niagra used to be one of Joey Ramones hang outs. Also, Black and White ( think it is on 10th street between 2nd and 3rd ave) extremely cool music and on Sundays they have open mic for poets and story tellers. Free entrance.

If you are an ass kissing VIP follower, try to get into Bungolow 8 which is where all the big wigs hang out and go to see and to be seen/photographed. I have been there and almost got ill from all the brown-nosing I saw.

Anyhow, I may think of more later, but have to get my broken ass down to the Chiropractor and have him crack my bones.

Lovin this weather-

“Good day sunshine!” Beatles

Love

Dr. Dot

ps. Naturally, if you are in the mood for the best massage in the world, I or one of my assistants can give you a rub down while you visit the city 😉

How Catty

Normally I tell the women who call me for relationship help, that I think men are a lot like dogs(don’t chase them, give them freedom, etc.) but lately, I have been thinking about it and found that men have alot  in common with cats.

1) If you are in a room with a cat and you close the door, the cat will immediately want OUT. But if you open the door and sit back down, the cat will want to stay in the room with you and cuddle. They just want to know the door is open and they can leave if they want. (This is why marriage is a bad idea).

2)If your cat is really hungry, notice how they brown-nose and purrrr, wrap their tails around your legs while you open the can of food. They are all lovey dovey. They won’t let you out of their site! However, after you feed them, they want nothing to do with you. They find a nice warm spot and clean themselves and carry on about their furry lives. Even if you try to pet them after they ate, they act like “talk to the furry PAW!” and “as IF!” and scurry away, UNTIL they get hungry again, then it starts all over again. What to do about it? Keep them a bit hungry all the time and give them freedom, just keep really busy yourself.


It is GORGEOUS out here in NYC, sunny, breezy, no clouds, everyone is smiling away. Paradise.I will go rollerblade and work off that Berlin ice cream situation.

Lovin’ life

Dr. Dot 

A moment of silence for good ol’ Joey

April 15, 2001 

“Joey Ramone, lead singer of legendary punk band the Ramones, passed away Sunday at the age of 49.

The towering frontman, born Jeffrey Hyman, did not respond to treatment for lymphatic cancer, a disease that attacks the body’s ability to fight infection. U2’s “In a Little While” was playing in his room at New York-Presbyterian Hospital when he died at 2:40 p.m.”  Sad, sad day.

Hope Joey is up there in Rock and Roll heaven having a good time, and knowing that he is still loved down here.

Love you Joey

Dot





“If you don’t register, you can’t vote and if you don’t vote, democracy doesn’t work.”- Frank Zappa

Register to Vote Today

Dear Dr. Dot,

Are you and your friends and family registered to vote? As a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists activist network, we know you care about the democratic process and want to make sure that your voice is heard. Generally, only about 50 percent of eligible voters actually cast a ballot. Here are two easy things you can do to improve these numbers: 

1. Register Today with easy online tools
http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA

2. Spread the Word
If you are already registered there is still more you can do. Send the following letter to your friends, family, and coworkers to encourage them to register to vote. Copy and paste the text into a new email and send it to your contacts.

Dear [recipients name],

More than 200 million Americans are eligible to vote in state and national elections, yet barely half voted in the 2000 presidential election. As that election demonstrated, every vote counts. It is time that we had a real increase in participation in this process. Register today and encourage your other friends as well.  Thanks to the web, it is now easier than ever.  Just click on this link and fill out the online form,
http://www.registrationbyworkingassets.com/UCSUSA

Sincerely,
Dr. Dot


So I am home now ( don’t know why the letters are so huge) but as predictied, it was the flight from HELL. From my Berlin house door, to my NYC house door, it took all in all 18 hours! I am exhausted. Please think of Joey for at least one minute today and smile. And, if you haven’t registered to vote yet and you CAN vote here, please feel free to do so above, it’s easy and we need some good folks in the White House if you get my drift.

overly tired,

Dot


“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”

Tuesday, April 13th

So, after 3 weeks of watching ALL of the Sex and the City reruns ( I have every season on DVD) and many pints of haagen-daas, I am leaving tomorrow, back to NYC.

Jasmine and I have had MUCH quatlity time together, hey, we are best buddies! I have to get my ass home and get the career ball rolling again. Hard to live two lives, I tell you that.

Today Jasmine looked at me and said “pk, it’s official, we are Sex and the City JUNKIES!”. Some one call the cops. But seriously, there is nothing better to watch ( apart from my Simpsons dvds- we got ’em all).

I have rented several dvd movies here too. Just saw the ‘Italian Job’, not bad. Saw a Russle Crowe film last night ( Command -something or other) it was supposively nominated for 10 Oscars. It was like Braveheart but on a friggin boat. Jasmine picked out “Wicked” starring Julia Stiles (absolute CRAP), then I saw “Invisible Circles” with Cameron Diaz ( annoying drug/suicide flick). Then the one where Matt Damon is stuck together with Greg ( guy from As good as it gets)- that was good for a laugh or two, but not more. Eva Mendes has officially joined the “Bimbo” league with this film.

Kill Bill was extremely cool except for two things: 1) It never shows or explains WHY the fuck they are chasing Uma Thurman or want to kill her!  2) Dumb ending (“does she know her kid is still alive”) and that’s it? They just leave you hanging ( probably to prepare for part 2. But I have to say, Uma KICKS ass! And of course, you see the typical foot fettish escapades of the Director ( Quentin Tarrantino-spelling?) He is crazy about womens feet, and reminds you in every flick he does.


next day ( Wednesday)

Now I am in the airport in Zurich, Switzerland, using the cheesy computer. I have to keep tossing coins into it out of fear it will shut down in the middle of my blog.

I only had a 4 hour layover here! I ate at a gorgeous Thia restaruant and bought hand made pralines.The Swiss may be boring, but they are clean, organised and take their food very seriously. You could eat off the friggin floor here it is so clean!!

I am just rambling on here. I will add more photos to the blog when I get home and settled. I will need a couple days of sleep after this.

Hope the plane doesn’t crash.Not a fan of flying. Germs galore, dry diesel smelling-air, having to SIT STILL is the hard part. I drive everyone on the plane mental as I am constantly getting up and strolling around, using the bathroom and stretching my limbs all over the place. I go crazy on planes. I should just take some sleeping pills and conk out, but I am afraid I would get run over by one of those vicious food/drink carts. I also loathe sitting next to 1)HUGE people who smell 2)chatty and or moody babies ( actually, don’t want to sit next to any babies) 3) Chatty people who talk about their niece/nephew  for hours and hours 4) Males who try to convince me to join the mile high club. I once scammed into buisness class. Try it; just make sure you are last to board, then scan any empty seats in buisness class, find one that it similar to your seat number, for example; if your seat is really 43, pick 13 in buisness class and IF they call you out on it, say “sorry!!! I don’t have my contacts in, I could have sworn that was a 13” and be very apologetic and crawl back to Coach class where everyone will scathe you with their eye rolling looks. But it usually works. They are NOT about to question eveyone in buis class as to who belongs where. Just a friendly tip 😉

Gotta get my butt on the plane,

catch you later

Dr. Dot