Friday I drove 3 hours south to a shit hole part of Philly to massage Sir Sting at the Tower Theater. I was 15 minutes late, (it was a dam miracle I wasn’t an HOUR late as there seems to be only ONE winding road through this town “Upper Darby” to get to the Venue and it was bumper to bumper for an hour and I was FLAPPIN’ (British word for FREAKING OUT) in my car as I knew I was going to be late.
Everyone told me “Oh, it is only 90 minutes to Philly from NYC” What a bunch of BULLSHIT that is. It took me a full 3 hours and I drove 85 miles per hour 90% of the time like a bat out of hell. Anyways, as soon as I get into the back stage area, I saw Sting standing at the top of the stairs and I was rushed up there. Sting was happy to see me and ready for his rub down.
We went into his dressing room, which always smells gorgeous from the many candles burning and it looks great to, nicely set up with warm lighting and all. Sting was in a great mood and during the 2 hour massage he told me I give the best massage, more than once. Those words coming from Sting make my career really worth while.
Sometimes during such a long massage, I look around the room and notice things, like what tea they have out, what vitamins are on the table etc, but one thing that caught my eye that made me smile was a bottle of “Singer’s Saving Grace” from ‘Herbs etc’ in extra Strength. Funny, because I always have a bottle of that nasty tasting/smelling shit in my purse at all times. You can get it at any health food shop and just the other night when I brought Stings manager, William ( also known as Billy Basher) out to karaoke, I sprayed some of that in my mouth, and William was curious and wanted to try it to, so I sprayed it into his mouth and he turned a shade of green cause it taste so bad. BUT it really perks up those vocal cords and I need that when I sing Janis Joplin or AC/DC, and apparently it is so good, Sting uses the same shit! I told Sting I write a blog almost every night and he said he was going to read what I write about him in my blog as soon as he got home. Well, wouldn’t you FUCKING know it, Blog-City was DOWN for 24 hours and the next day when I showed up to massage Sting he said ” I went to read your blog and it was down, bloody hell!”. So.
Anyways, after two hours of deep tissue massage on the most gorgeous body in rock and roll, I started packing up my stuff and Sting asked if I could massage him the next night as well in Atlantic City ( New Jerseys version of Las Vegas) and I agreed to be there again at 5:30. He said I should check out some of the show before driving back to NYC.
I was wearing black timberland boots (clunky hiking boots) as it was cold. These boots make my feet feel bigger and clumsy, but warm. I was in the backstage hallway, and saw Sting and the rest of his band go down the stairs that were 12 inches away from me. They must have been going to a secret passage way to the stage, as from where I was standing, I had one foot kind of on the stage and one in the hallway. So they went under the stage to get there. (Hard to explain). The manager and roadies all wanted me to get more onto the stage, to have a closer look at the show that was about to begin. So I went a bit onto the stage (audience couldn’t see the roadies and I behind huge speakers). (this is where broke the electical plug, right near that bald roadie)
A guy holding a guitar yells to me “when was the last time I saw yoooo?” in a heavy
( This is my view of the Sting show in Atlantic City.His back up singers are so HOT!)
The audience thought it was part of the show and was all “Whoooow, wooow!! ” yelling and shit and the roadies got it all back on within a minute, but I tell you I was sweating bullets and wanted to crawl away and DIE. I said to one of the old roadies in the hallway, “Holy SHIT that was me!! I did that!! Fuckin hell, did you see that!!” and he said “Oh, no, it wasn’t you, it was the big black guy who does the house lights, he stepped on something and broke it”. All of the roadies came out into the hall and said the same thing to me, and I wasn’t sure anymore myself if it was me or not, but I FELT something snap and break and I heard it break the same time the lights went out, so I was sure it was me. I was NOW not sure if the roadies were all just trying to make me feel better or telling the truth, but it sure as hell made me freak out and then laugh my ass off about it later on the ride home as I told my Uncle Jack. He could barely breathe when I told him- he was laughing that hard.
The next day, Saturday the 13th, I drove another 3 hours to get to Atlantic city ( again, always 80 miles per hour or more) as I did NOT want to be even one minute late this time, and I got there 30 minutes early and this venue was MUCH cleaner and nicer than the night before. This place was called the ‘Music Box at Borgata Casino” . It was a big concert hall and when I entered I heard Sting playing, so I went in to look and he was doing the sound check, so I sat and watched that for a while. I love seeing the sound check, everyone is so relaxed and you get the feeling you are experiencing a private show, it is the BEST!
I then went to his dressing room and set up my table. Sting walked in and as always, is pleasant, polite and friendly. Gordon (the wardrobe assistant) came in and said before the massage, Sting has to do 2 radio interviews and to have a seat. I was waiting for them to ask me to wait outside, but they said, no, stay in here. So I sat as quiet as a church mouse, about 5 feet away from Sting and watched him get interviewed by the first radio station. He answers the questions in such a nice and friendly way and makes everyone laugh. When asked “Why are you still so approachable, I mean, you are already famous and rich enough, why are you so nice to the press” and then he answers ” Well, I have nothing to hide and you should always look the people right in the eye, it’s good karma” etc. I couldn’t remember every word, just some incredible things like when they asked him what his favorite Sting song, he said ” My songs are like children to me, you can’t love one more than the other one”.
(Sting allowed me to photograph him sitting on my massage table. I shall never wash it again 😉
The next team came in (each radio station got 5 minutes each). Sting was goofing around and laid down on his back on my massage table for this interview, so the Disc Jockeys stood up and held the microphones to his mouth while he lay there on my table. They asked him basically the same freaking questions, and Sting answered them with the same courtesy and enthusiasm as he did the first time around. When asked if he listens to rap, he said he does like NAS and Black Eyed Peas. The female Disc Jockey asked him ” Can I feel your ABS?” as he lie there on my table, and everyone in the room thought she said ” ASS” not “ABS” so Sting was like ” Pardon?” and she asked again and he just laughed, she touched his stomach through his suit and she looked like she was melting. I felt like saying, “hey lady, you think his abs are nice? You should feel his BUTT” !!!
(Sting LAYING on my table *sigh* )
He then did radio sound bites, you know, station I.D for each station, and said everything they wanted him to say like “Hi, this is Sting and my favorite morning show is Jim and Diane on WWAVE” or something like that. They took loads of photos of him, got many autographs and all that, he is REALLY nice to everyone and it seemed they took a bit advantage, but he didn’t seem to mind one bit.
After a very silent 2 hour massage, he showered and then went out and did a meet and greet, where about 50 people, some of which are press, get to meet him and photograph him etc. He is so tolerant and generous with his time. He does this every time he does a show too! I have been backstage to so many concerts and some stars (not mentioning any names) are snotty as hell and would never do that. Some won’t even pose for a photo or meet fans. But you know, what goes around, comes around, most of the bands that act like that are now history. ( wait, I have to mention two bands: a German band called “Echt” was so hot at one point and so fucking SNOTTY, “beam me up snotty” and Blur is also extremely snotty to their fans, and Papa Roach, where are you now??.
I know I know, get my claws back in. Ok, where was
I stayed and watched a few songs and didn’t bump into anything or break anything, so all went well. I drove home another 2 and half hours to rest up for the next day.
Sunday the 14th, I went to massage William first. William is one of my favorite guys in the business. He doesn’t take shit from ANYONE and is very direct. Some think he is bossy and “always right” but he is usually right AND Sting’s right hand man. He won’t put up with any bullshit and doesn’t trust anyone, so we have a lot in common! When he is in a good mood, he giggles a lot. He cracks me up. I love his dry sense of humor and he keeps me on my toes as he knows I work best under pressure. Anyhow, I massaged William for two hours then went to massage Sting at his gorgeous mansion like house in
His wife Trudie is definitely the luckiest woman alive (well, she AND Heather, Paul McCartney’s wife). Sting is madly in love with her and speaks so highly of her. She decorated the huge place and it looks majestic. It is overwhelming. Red velvet couches, huge Helmut Newton photographs, antique paintings, a grand piano overlooking the park. He is the coolest fucking rock star in the world ok?
( Mr. Sting ( as Frank Zappa called him) took this photo of us with his left hand in his NYC home.He is so majestic and calm. He told me I should quit jogging as it “shortens your muscles Dot” and I should practice Yoga, Asthanga Yoga like he does. I will now buy a “How to do Asthanga Yoga video” ( but first I better learn how to spell it!!!
I massaged him for another two hours and I must say, he is the most generous star too, big tipper! After I massaged Sting, I went to pick up Mick Jagger’s assistant (and the Stones logistics manager) Alan Dunn. He was at ‘Elaine’s’, an
There are SO many stars right now in NYC because today (Monday) is the Rock and Roll hall of Fame ceremony. Mick will take part in it as a presenter that is why Alan is in town. Alan and I had a nice meal and now I am beyond exhausted. I need SLEEP. AND I need
You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse, but
If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do
Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I’d lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me
If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do
I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face
I never saw no miracle of science
That didn’t go from a blessing to a curse
I never saw no military solution
That didn’t always end up as something worse, but
Let me say this first
If I ever lose my faith in you
There’d be nothing left for me to do by STING
That for sure is my favorite song by Sting