How to deal with Assholes

I was talking today to one of my best friends in the world, Andrea, and she told me that the father of her child is still being a cheap asshole and refuses to take any part of raising the child or give money willingly. I was telling her I think he is an ASSHOLE, ( he is from Iceland, so he is an icy asshole!) and I didn’t understand how anyone can just walk away from such a young angel:

Tara is Carmen; thanks to Prince

How many times is VH-1 and E! going to tell Carmen Electra’s life story and make PRINCE out to be such mean freak. He discovered her and bought her plastic breast, produced an album and video for her, it isn’t his fault that she couldn’t sing. Every time the story is told, Prince is the big bad short guy who controlled her and made her “sleep in full make up and sexy clothing” . Poor girl, makes me weep. Prince is a unique musical genius and she is lucky he discovered her; she should stop complaining about it once and for all. Had it not been for him, she would possibly still be just

Don’t leave us now, we love you Sex and the City! ;)

Was that good or what? My eyes swelled up at least twice. Glad Mr. Big came through and the nerve of the Russian guy slapping Carrie!! How are we to go on now without fresh Sex and the City episodes to look forward to? If you are not into the show, why not? Once you see one show, you are hooked. Thank goodness for DVD’s.

I can understand why Carrie took Big back, you can’t fight real love; it is overwhelming. And in the end, you should stay with who you have the best sex with ( if possible). Just like Samantha said “Who you are in bed, is who you are in life”. Are you wimpy? Quick? Polite? Boring? Selfish? a Pig? God I love that show.

Another note about passion, I watched “The Piano” the other night, starring Harvey Keitel. It was SO amazing!!! I am now a Harvey fan, I mean , I was before, but the way he played that role in the Piano blows ones mind (Not to mention how incredibly SEXY he is in this movie!). I strongly recommend this film if you haven’t already seen it. Awesome and it also proves, passionate love prevails.

It is almost 8am and I am still up, can you say “Sleep Disorder”?

“Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I´m thinking of
Oh oh can´t you see
Love is the drug for me”

” I got nasty habits” Rolling Stones

Bad habits? Oh, a few I suppose! It is almost 5am and I am not even close to tired. Just had chocolate mouse and just saw Jim Carey on the Conan O’Brien show, which was filmed in Toronto. Jim is out of this world funny, love that man!

I didn’t go to Letterman, I was invited and could have easily gone, but Alan sounded like he REALLY didn’t want to go due to his busy schedule: He just picked up Ron Wood from the airport and had to get him situated. Ronnie is in town for a few gigs, among them two with Rod Stewart. It is Alan’s job to get Ronnie and his wife Jo settled into the hotel etc, and Ronnie’s son, Jamie ( actually Jo’s son from a former marriage) is Ronnie’s tour manager, so he is in town too. I am on call for massages as usual but like to stay out of Alan’s hair and I could tell by his stressy tone that he did want to bring me, but wouldn’t mind if I cancelled.

It is this sixth sense of mine that has gotten me where I am today, you have to be able to read people, their voice, face, tone etc. Alan is mainly here in the city as Elizabeth Jagger is moving out of her flat, and Alan is here to help her store her things, so he has his hands full, as usual. He is around 63 years old and has worked for Mick over 30 years, starting out with the Stones at the very beginning, as Brian Jones assistant. I owe it to Alan for introducing me to the Stones in 1985 for the first time and then later having me massage them. So, I give him space and never crowd such folks. I called and cancelled this morning as I really didn’t feel all that hot anyways, and Alan sounded relieved ( as I predicted) and assured me we can see Letterman again in the near future, so it was a good call.

I had millions of things to do anyways, do you know some folks will do anything to get on the Dr. Dot team, it is so flattering and a good thing, the team is growing like a strong weed! A guy named Roddy contacted me a few weeks ago and asked about joining the staff and mentioned he is from London. At the moment, I don’t have any help in London, so I said sure, but you would have to massage me to join and show me your credentials, sign the contract etc. He mentioned he would be in town this very weekend (Thursday to Sunday) . So I set up the time for him. Little did I know, he flew to NYC JUST for this interview. Now that is ambition!

He massages soccer players at a sports club in London and has several diplomas, he is very impressive. I had him come over at 7pm last night and he massaged me for about two hours. It was wonderful. His dad is Scottish and mom is from Jamaica, so he has a nice color to him and loads of manners. Super organized, I thought for sure he is a Virgo, but he is a Capricorn. He told me when he told his wife and family that he was flying to NYC to massage a “Dr. Dot”, they all laughed and told him to have fun massaging a 70 year old lady, they all assumed that I was like a Dr. Ruth type, and that I must be super old. Does my name scream “Old timer”? . Hmmm. Anyways, he told me he showed them my web sites and his wife was like “WHAT?” but still , stood by him and gave him the nod to go for it. He not only flew here, but paid for a expensive hotel and all that, I must admit, he has courage, as what if I didn’t like his massage? He must have been very confident to take such a risk. But I can assure you, he is dam good and I am super hard to please when it comes to massage. You have to have hands of steel and be able to crush my shoulder knots and pinch me like there is no tomorrow, even he admitted

Late Night with David Letterman and the 5th Wheel show

Top Ten Signs You Should Get A Divorce

10. For Valentine’s Day he gives you a box of Pop Tarts and says, “If you need me, I’ll be at Hooters.”

9. The only thing you have in common is your hatred for one another.

8. You ask the guy at Hallmark where the “Controlling Bitch” section is.

7. You keep finding receipts for the guys she’s hired to kill you.

6. You still haven’t forgiven him for nailing that fat intern when he was a resident.

5. She brings a date to couples counseling.

4. You just married Liza Minnelli.

3. He won’t shut up about how great his secretary is in bed.

2. You sleep in separate beds in separate bedrooms in separate houses in separate states.

1. Her pet nickname for you — “Numb-nuts.”

‘Frankie the lucky Pit Bull’ update

It was about a year ago that I found the 8 month old Put Bull tied to a street bench, he was very thin, you could see his ribs and he was bleeding in various areas around his face and neck, in other words, it looked like he had just lost a fight and some wanker tossed him away because of that loss.

I was just out power walking on a Friday night and saw him; some kids asked me if I wanted the dog! I was shocked but still rescued him. My landlord is a PRICK who won’t let me have any animals, so I have to keep Frankie at my Uncle Jacks house in Connecticut. Since one year, Frankie has gone from a skinny to wide and meaty, and he is so spoiled. He sleeps under the covers in between my uncles ( one is my uncle the other is his husband)

The boy who cried “Love” ( Sex and the City RULES!)

Carrie ( oh please don’t say which Carrie) hit the friggin nail right on the head tonight ( er, last night) on Sex and the City. Big waltzes back into her life, per radar ( oh, Carrie must be happy again, let me play with her heart again) and expects her to drop everything for another round with him. I have been through that before and not too long ago either.

You know, the boy who cried “WOLF” story, well, Carrie is right, why do men do that? “Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone”. Right BEAR? That is what I will call him, as no way would I write

A good day for the Jewish

Hello Everyone,

just wanted to let you all know that the German who knocked me out for wearing the Star of David and being a “Jewish Pig” has pleaded guilty today in NYC court.
Stefan Waxmann was charged with a Misdemeanor Hate Crime and can now leave the counrty ( good riddens) and go back to Frankfurt Germany.
His lawyer pleaded with me on the phone

Dr. Dot video clip to view

My 3 minute clip reel (which can not compete with Paris Hilton’s new video) can now be seen on both of my web sites. It may seem short and no sweat, but it has cost me and so many other folks so much time. It cost me so much money, I can not begin to explain. Basically for the last 5 years I have been saving my TV appearances on VHS tapes. Most were taped in Germany but a few since I have been back in the USA ( yee haa!) . Taking all of the German material and having some one transfer it to USA format ( they were all different formats, big reels, tiny tapes, DVDs, VHS) and then put onto a machine in which Christine from the Image Factory ( www.ifpost.com ) spent weeks slicing everything together to make sense along with sound etc, well, it was HARD work.

I am extremely grateful to Christine for her hard work and expert advice in making this important tool for me. Also, I want to thank Nobbi, my web master, who you must know is working his ASS off almost everyday keeping up both of my web sites. Thank you Nobbi! As always, I will bring LOADS of Beef Jerky over to you next time I drag my behind to Cheery Berlin.

I am happy to announce the latest member to my massage team, Rachel

More Frank Zappa

“Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom.

Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty.

Beauty is not love. Love is not music.

MUSIC IS THE BEST ! “